The silent pressure coming from everyone is broken when Sif throws another suggestion, “I am surprised no one thought of the ideal solution to our problems, adventuring! Since it's not really possible to be a wandering blacksmith freeloading off the locals, it will be much easier and more practical to make money by adventuring. And when Robin here finds the perfect place to settle down, then we can deal with setting up a shop. As for the sword, she can just keep it! Claire told us at one point even a traveling mage will keep at least a shortsword for insurance.”
The group starts nodding as if this is an acceptable solution. And it might be, accept for one major issue which Sif is so conveniently forgetting. “But I don’t have any experience fighting things! It’s not just that, I don’t want to have to kill to make a living! I won’t, I can’t do it!”
The people around me share a concerned glance. Do they think I am pathetic, being afraid to kill even though I make weapons made to kill?
Interrupting the silence after my outburst, Claire throws me a lifeline, of a sort. “Being an adventurer isn’t all about hunting monsters and bandits, there’s also plenty of things you can do that don’t need to end in fighting. There are quests like scouting areas, collecting herbs, and even miscellaneous requests the town residents may put up, such as looking for a lost cat, personal training, and even construction work. When you leave this village, I can’t promise you that you won’t have to fight, because you might need to just to defend yourself. Outside of town and village walls, monsters roam, bandits prowl, and guardians of forgotten ruins stir. If you can’t accept that, it might be best just to stay here, on Spirit Mountain. At least here you won’t need to worry about walking through the woods.”
Jacob confirms, “I don’t know how you got so good at smithing lady, but I can confirm what Claire said. The reason why so many people come back to the mountain even after leaving and seeing the world is because the world is cruel. People fight and squabble over what little power they can grasp, headless of those who get hurt on the way. Though you crafted a magnificent sword, like I said before, people will covet it. And now that you made it so it can’t be stolen, they will likely turn their focus onto you, the possessor and creator. There are other weapons that can’t be stolen out there, but there are stories about how people found a way to take the artifact anyways, and it always happened by means stained with blood.”
Tala sighs and adds her own opinion, “We were so caught up with you appearing in our lives we forgot you were raised in seclusion this whole time, oblivious to the outside world.” She turns and glares at Sif, “It appears as if someone didn’t do a good job parenting. How could you allow her to even think about setting off without telling her the dangers? Did you think just because you finished your contract with the spirits as a caretaker, you think you can shield her from everything? If she is this afraid, how would you react when she sees you slay your enemies to protect you both?”
For the first time I see genuine concern on Sif’s face, as if she did forget something important. But this isn’t her fault, after all, the story of her raising me is fake. No, the fault is my own. I have rethink my resolve to travel. Even though I lived in a prison before, it was safe, and I was well treated except for not being able to leave. They would bring me anything I asked, and ensured no harm would come to me. Maybe since I was so relaxed I was so easily betrayed and killed.
Tuning back into Sif getting lectured, I interrupt, “It’s not Sif’s fault. I… I need some time to think about this.” I turn to Tarkin, “Is it ok for me to continue using the forge? I want to make the hilt, pommel, and guard for this sword.” The enhancements on the blade are locked in, but the magic to affect the user lies in the hilt and pommel, the parts the user holds. “Crafting eases my mind, and I will be able to give an answer when I am done, I think.”
Tarkin grins, “No worries lass, I’m already gettin’ paid fer letting ya use me forge, what's a little longer?” Tala adds, “And no need to make up your mind right away. Our village may be small, but the mountain will always be open to you should you decide to stay.” To the boys and Claire she continues, “Come on, let's be off, let's give Robin and her mom some time. Of course Tarkin can stay, but do try to make yourself invisible.”
While they leave, I mention to Sif, “Gather the scraps, we will use them to make the rest of the parts.” Using her powers, the parts shed from the forming of the edges recombine to a solid. Putting on my gloves I softly chant, “Metal, take shape by my guiding hand, shape metal.” Thinking of what I want to do, I let my thoughts wander while creating the hilt and crossguard. I still want to travel the world, of that I am certain, but do I have the conviction to do so? It was probably really selfish and naïve of me to say I would travel without fighting, even in self defense. After all, I did die once already, and maybe if I had a little bit more awareness I could’ve at least dodged.
I have decided, I will travel, and I will learn more about this world. Learning, that is what I must do. With this in mind, I decide on using a special inscription. Thinking ahead, I ask Sif to go back to the workshop and grab a focus crystal. To help me on my journey, I will have this sword be what I need. The inscriptions I am placing on the hilt are for accelerated learning. What would take hundreds of repetitions to learn will only take one, by seeing something once I will make it my own. I had made a similar sword once, but this one shall go one step further. As I finish layering the inscriptions and enchantments, Sif returns with a nicely cut sapphire. This will make the key difference from the sword I made before. The pommel of this sword shall be a magic focus, so that not only can I learn swordcraft at an accelerated rate, I can also learn how to use magic quicker as well. I remove the temporary handle from the sword and activate the inscriptions I have placed on both the handle insert and my now completed handle. The sword blazes in a flash of mana, and it is complete. A sword and focus combined to help me on my journey.
Accelerated learning cheat, huh? I'll give you props for the unique way of introducing it. To be honest, between "learn fast" and time-skips, I prefer learn fast 100%
So... I'm really liking the premise and characters and events of the story, but your dialogue is kinda painful to read. People don't speak in exposition, you know?
I think there's a few ways you can cut down on that:
A - don't write the exposition in the first place. You write very thoroughly and patch up every possible plot hole, but actually you don't need to do that at all, it actually messes up your pacing. If it's a small thing, just leave the plot hole there, you can count on suspension of disbelief to patch it for you and get on with the actual storytelling. Readers are smart, they'll figure out a way to justify it. If you want you can create what's called a 'story bible' (think of it like writing yourself your very own wiki you can use as a writing aid, helps a lot with continuity errors) and write those explanations into the story bible, then just answer if people ask. alternatively, you could just, not, and save yourself all that writing time.
B - throw the exposition to the narrator. Characters are for being people, the narrator is specially for giving exposition. In this case, your narrator is the protagonist and her inner monologue. So instead of having one of your characters spend their precious lines to explain "this is what's happening and why" you can have your protagonist wonder about it outside the quotation marks, and think it through to explain it to herself.
C - *don't write the dialogue* this is a wonderful little trick, instead of putting in quotation marks and writing exactly what the character said... in text you have a super power. Look at this:
"hey remember that time I suddenly had a twin sister and contracted with spirits and mom thought dad cheated on her and my sister was really good at blacksmithing and the blacksmiths were all like 'woahhhhh' and 'haha you're gonna get robbed kid' and then I said we can be adventurers and I'll protect her!" Clair said.
verses
Clair recounted the events of the festival. It's almost like she forgot I was there too...
You can totally get the narrator to hand wave away and summarize huge chunks of boring dialogue! If you have a six paragraph chunk of exposition dialogue and you want to present it as a character said it, this is the best way IMO. another example:
The blacksmiths pointed out that selling such a fancy sword is bound to draw attention, it seems dangerous.
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in general, I think of dialogue as something sacred. Dialogue is a special place, the only place where characters other than the protagonist get to say what they're thinking and show what kind of person they are. A good test if you need to check, think of your character as an actor, and this is their only line. Does the actor get to show off their acting skills and bring the character to life with this line? Or is the actor going to be mad at you because you're wasting their talent on one boring line? Like "Seriously, this is my only line? THIS is all I have to work with??" If your imaginary actor is mad, probably pawn that line off onto the narrator instead and give the actor something more interesting to say.
I agree with both A/B, but there is one critical flaw with C, word count. /j
Thanks for the Meal
The Story itself has promise and I will definitely keep checking on it.
But I wonder one thing if she is such a great blacksmith how come she never made herself some kind of defensive artifact/armor that is unrestrictive light and protects her from anything aimed at her with her skill that shouldn't have been to hard
I think its not that odd. She lived her entire life at the forge and there was no danger to her life. She is naive and probably it never occurred to her to make a defensive artifact.
Though i think she should think of making something now since she died once.
Thanks for the chapter.
An 'ordinary' blade with an extraordinary hilt. I wonder whether the learning fast enchantment applies for stuff other than sword skill and magic.