I opened my eyes and stared at the white ceiling I have been seeing for the last three weeks. Basked in the suffocating scent of plastic lined walls and white sheets of cloth all around me, yep the environment is still depressing as usual.
Where am I you say? I’m in a special quarantine ward for the researchers who contracted the deadly virus XYZ-13, its origins remained unknown but for the past half year it killed over 30 million humans throughout the globe. It was a global scale disaster. Nations locked down their borders effectively cutting off direct contact to other countries, forced quarantines in local areas, other countries even resorted to immediately killing a person with confirmed symptoms pronto. The masses were uncontrollably growing fearful and economies were steadily failing day by day. Only by the strict measures applied by both the military and the government were the situation somehow was calmed, thus leading us this scenario. A race against time, where countless countries sent their finest minds and professionals to create a medicine to curb this disaster.
To be clear, I didn’t really volunteer for this. I wasn’t one of those geniuses that were the first to face the challenge of creating the cure for this damned virus. I was sought out only when the progress of the existing researched considerably slowed down due to the failing health of the previous researchers. I’m not really as noble-hearted as them, I only wished for my solitude to remain undisturbed, yet they still found me. The failure who’s only good at following up pre-existing data, then forced me to come to the special military base where the most progressed research was held. Me and eight others were sent in at the same time, my colleagues were decent at the very least. They immediately noticed I wish not for further interaction aside from work and respected it, thus raising our efficiency. After a month of working more than 12 hours a day, we finally reached the last phase of our endeavor. We managed to make cures and vaccines for the children, the only work left was to create an airborne agent that would eradicate the virus through contact that is harmless to people, to end this crisis once and for all.
But fate really plays dirty, almost half of the research crew suddenly collapsed one day. We were overconfident of our laboratory’s equipment states, and were lax due to the success in making the vaccines, one capsule was left unattended by some young assistant researcher and he hid the fact from us after cleaning it up on his own. The fatigue from working nonstop caught up to us and hastened the virus’ rooting inside our bodies. We were like hit in the back of our heads by the virus as if mocking us before we finally finish it.
[Mr. Simoun are you awake? We are here to deliver your personal laptop and do routine tests on you.] One of the doctors appointed to look after me came with his two assistant nurses.
I simply nodded slightly in response, since I cannot really talk due to a severely sore throat.
They handed me my laptop where I was working the final phases of the formula assigned to me, yes even in the medical bed I was in, work never stopped. The pressure was bigger now since four of my colleagues already died, and the rest are already too weak physically to continue. Only me and three others were still able to continue the finishing work, albeit barely.
[The recent statistic reports about the cases of the virus came out earlier and the news was very positive sir, the new cases were reduced by more or less 20% due to the help of your team’s vaccine.] The doctor spoke to me in a low voice but he wasn’t able to hide the awe and pity clearly leaking out from him. I know I was bound to die soon and not even the cure we already finished could save me and the other researchers, we could have been saved if we finished the cure all the way before everyone collapsed.
I heard him and the other doctors conversing yesterday when I pretended to be asleep. They were talking about me and the other patients just behind my curtain. We have less than a week left. And I felt it clearly too. Even if my thought process was still normal, my body isn’t responding as it used to be and now I am just gritting the pain that increased tenfold to continue finishing the formula.
But seriously why am I still doing this, I’m already a dead man. The doctor assigned to me clearly knows that my condition is worsening. The only reason I was still able to work is because of the note I left with my laptop yesterday, I told them, as long as I am able to move my arms and at the very least one finger, they shouldn’t stop me. It sounds like some idiot desperately playing hero, but that is what I exactly thought of doing. Play the hero, leave a mark significant enough to be put into books. I was sure as hell that one of the nurses was spreading our story through social media since I hacked into her phone yesterday while working.
She got more views than when I made a portable house I posted on youtube damn it. I could only sigh in my head since my throat still hurts as hell. Right now my right arm is only responding slowly to my thoughts but I can still work. I will finish this even if I’m alone. I will make it. That’s what I’ve been repeatedly thinking while my fingers dully tapped on the cold keyboard.
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Later that evening, three more of my colleagues died. I’m running out of time.
The doctors and nurses tried to hide it but the mood in our quarantine ward got considerably heavier. Even in social media, we were being called the heroes of humanity that fought against this terrible disease, and millions were empathizing with us. We created the cure but we cannot be saved since the virus was deeply rooted and we are on the late stages of the disease too. There were even some reports of riots and rallies to government buildings and military camps, as stupid as the people looked to me because clearly they just heightened the risk of being infected themselves, I’m not too apathetic to the reasons behind their actions.
Let’s make this one last push awesome enough I get some more special award after I die.
With that thought, I coerced one of the nurses to bring me my laptop after they make their last rounds and let us rest for the night. My laptop was safely delivered, and so I performed my final all nighter in this 20 year long suffering called life.
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At the doctors residences
[Apart from Mr. Simoun, Ms. Finlay and Mr. Taichi cannot hold on anymore and their physical conditions definitely isn’t suitable for them to continue working anymore. When is the new research team really arriving? How will they easily grasp what they need to do if all their predecessors are dead before they even arrive?!] The man assigned to Mr. Simoun’s bed complained to one of the head doctors residing with them.
[They will be arriving in 18 hours, they just have to hold on for 18 hours more… I know this is a complete disaster for everyone. Even I am unsatisfied with how lax the higher ups are, but what can we do? Fly to the sky and pull them over here? This is all too frustrating. And I know too that Mr. Simoun in fact is in a worse state than the other two, he’s just gritting himself to continue. He’s even more composed than us.] The man with bald patches in his head stated dejectedly.
[How is he even doing it? The pain he feels now is incomparable to mid stage disease phase. Its like his throat has blades and broken glass in it, the headache should feel like hell too, not to mention his lungs and stomach. At this point he’ll die faster than anyone else left, the physical and mental strain on him will surely make him fall sooner not later.]
[He wrote a note using his laptop yesterday, and I an old man even cried after reading its contents. I have no choice but to help him on his goal, even If I disobey official orders.]
Both men looked at each other’s eyes and came to an unspeakable understanding. Then sighed. The recent six months they worked as ‘frontliners’ in fighting against the virus was hell. They saw more deaths than recoveries, and burned more corpses than sent patients home. Everyone was mentally and emotionally tired, lots of distinguished doctors fell along with other nurses and other workers. It was a miracle these two men survived all those and still work until today. Suddenly a nurse burst through door crying.
[Emergency on patient number eight! Mr. Simoun is in critical conditions! Please come immediately!]
Dumbfounded at the shocking turn of events, the two men looked at each other and moved immediately. Donning their white coats and protective equipment, they rushed along the crying nurse.
[Brief us on what exactly happened. They’re supposed to be sleeping for the night am I right?]
[hic… Mr. Simoun isn’t asleep, he was still working, I’m so sorry hic, it’s all my fault I let him have his laptop after everyone left]
[There’s no time to look for faults now young missy, I will trouble you to call the other doctors to prepare the ER, now go and make haste.] The doctor reassured the young guilt filled nurse.
God if you are listening just let than man survive even if for one more day.
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Damn, I nearly screwed up big time.
I heaved a sigh of relief as I looked at the screen flashing in front of me.
The file was saved successfully. With this they can finish this damned pandemic maybe in a week or so. You did it you damned bastard, you’re gonna be a hero after death. Heh, finally I can end my one man fool’s show.
Tears flowed silently in my cheeks, since I stopped ignoring and suppressing the pain from my body. It hurts like 5 bitches, damn. There was a point in life where I wanted to die but who would’ve guessed I’d end this pathetically.
My vision was hazy maybe because of the tears, or maybe because of the terrible headache, I don’t know anymore. I just kept hearing the alarm device beside me blaring noises, even my hearing was becoming duller. My body felt as heavy as lead and none of my limbs would listen to me. But I kept my eyes open, the eyes that were often complimented and hated, they either said my black eyes were captivating or that my eyes were so bad to look at since its so dark they feel weird.
I forced my facial muscles to move a bit, since I heard noises like rushed footsteps, surely those are from the medical staff.
This shit is too painful I can’t feel anything anymore. This isn’t the end I wanted.
I didn’t want my life to end now in fact.
This is too frustrating.
Screw you all.
I wasn’t even supposed to be here.
There was a sharp beep noise I heard. Was it a flatline? Yeah I guess that’s it since I feel so cold. The familiar cold I’ve been feeling every night don’t even compare to this one.
There were people in front me I guess those are the doctors? Is that the nurse behind them? I guess I have to look like I have no regrets at this moment.
Fake it till you make it. Who in their right mind will think I have no regrets right now?
I’m just 20 plus damn it and I’m already dying.
I didn’t even manage to leave a seed of me. Just when I reconciled with my first love they took me away to work at this damned cure.
Weird, isn’t my life supposed to flash by my eyes at this moment?
Oh screw it, I’d just think of happy things since I’m already dying.
My surroundings continued to grew darker, their voices don’t even make sense now. I just hope they make my funeral grand, and spread the news about what I did worldwide.
I managed to look cool at death at least.
Dying with a cool smile and mysterious looking eyes, damn ain’t I the best.
Fucking pathetic.
I’m definitely not happy at all.
Damn you god
Damn those government shits
Damned virus I’d curse the one who made you to suffer worse than I did.
Damn it I even died a virgin.
Damn it all…
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The deafening sound of a flatline, and absolute silence… That’s what filled the ward of patient number 8. Also a very dark and gloomy atmosphere.
Even the crying nurse wasn’t making any noise. Every doctor with masks over their faces just looked hopelessly in front of themselves, the masks failed to hide their grief.
The doctor looked at his assigned patient beyond the plastic barrier whose eyes with no light left in them that was currently looking at the screen of his laptop in front of him, and was smiling contently… His last expression was a smile before his body froze as his blood stopped flowing.
When the female nurse who called them there sniffed silently, it seemed like a signal of sorts because everyone present started crying and sniffing too.
[I hope that in wherever you’d end up to young man, you won’t have to suffer anymore.] The doctor in charge of him, stepped inside with full protective gear, and looked straight at his eyes, before reaching his hand out to close his deceased patient’s eyelids.
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At this day, 17th of June Year 20xx, the medicine was completed and so was the killing agent for the virus. Yet most of the people who are always updated with the news can’t bring themselves to celebrate just yet. For a photo and an article that came with it spread twice as fast as the virus did throughout the world. In the photo was the last moments of Dr. Simoun Ark, who fought the virus to the very end, even while he was infected and suffering from the effects of the virus, he chose to complete the work they started. And he succeeded, after confirming his death, the doctors on site retrieved his laptop that he held before dying and saw the finished formulas and the calculations that he made to ensure the success rate when the killing agent is released to the world to eradicate the virus once and for all.
Did he die happy or fulfilled? A question arose among the people, for the photo they saw was ultimately hard to interpret. His blank eyes, the tears on his cheek, and his seemingly genuine small smile, once his story was unveiled by the internet lurkers, an endless debate followed. His lover who was then found at his house dead by alcohol intoxication held all the writings her late lover left at his house.
A week after Simoun’s death, the killing agent was finished and quickly released via airplanes bombing the air chock full of it. The phenomena that ensued after the skies was filled with the killing agent was a completely blue sky, as if the oceans and the clouds swapped places. That day was then called ‘The Mourning Heavens’, since that was the day Simoun’s remains were buried.
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Unknown area
[Wake up.]
From the darkness, I heard it clearly.
Then for a moment that seemed like eternity, light filled the darkness I was in and I was able to hear once more.
