The Gate
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No one really knew where the technology came from, or by what means it used to achieve its ends.  If anything, it might have been a mishap from the future that sent the machine back rather than the person.  Regardless, before science could catch up, we had time travel at our fingertips.

That all said, there were a few limits set.  You could only go back in time 5 minutes, and only do so once in your life - this was done by the government as to prevent too much timeline-altering, and as to to preserve whatever tech this thing used as much as possible.  Still, demand for “The Gate” as it began to be colloquially known was through the roof.

I was 24 myself, and still held my one-time shot at using The Gate.  Most people used theirs for fairly usual stuff - meeting now-dead relatives, asking out crushes they never did, or warning their former selves of future tragedy.  Me?

I had different things in mind.

Today was my 24th birthday, and to celebrate the occasion, I thought now was finally the time to go back and use The Gate. Unlike most kids who jumped at the chance once they turned 18, I thought a lot about what to do with my trip. Five minutes wasn’t a lot of time, and considering that you couldn’t write a script for how things would go, I’m surprised more people didn’t think more methodically about their trip.

I meditated on my upcoming trip, my heart beating faster and faster until I reached the government building, at which point my heart was running out of control.  After going through a quick metal detector and purse check, I dropped my purse off in one of their provided lockers - they wanted to prevent as much as possible people bringing modern tech and knowledge into the past.  Usually that led to you going back in time with nothing more than the clothes you’re wearing. 

I then took a short check-up by the Gate technician, as to make sure I wasn’t introducing any foreign germs or viruses back in time, and then sat by the gate as he punched in numbers and pulled on knobs.  He asks “And what time were you looking at there, miss?”

“August 24th, 2007.  My 12th birthday”.

“And address?”

“4295 Quebec St., St Paul, Minnesota”.

“Sounds good” he mirthlessly said, and The Gate whirred to life.  Where an empty frame was before, a liquid-like membrane was created in the doorway.  Walk through The Gate, and your five minutes began.  I took a final deep breath, and made my way through The Gate.

— —

As much as I thought I’d prepared for this moment well, I hadn’t.  For starters, I was outside my childhood home rather than in it, meaning I’d have to find a way to get myself alone with Colin without alarming his parents.  Luckily, unlike most others, I had a completely different appearance to what I did “then”,  and decided to use it to my advantage.

*ding dong*

“Hi!” My mom chimed in.  Knowing what I know now, my opinion of her has changed drastically in those 12 years, but I tried to put that out of my mind as I began talking to her in my best customer-service, ‘I’m totally an adult’ voice.

“Yes, hi…is Colin available?  I have important matters to speak on.”

“Sure….and can I ask who you might be, miss?”

“I, uh…” Shit… “I’m one of-of his t-teachers - he wasn’t at school last Friday, and I wanted to wish him a happy birthday as well as key him in on what he missed”.

“Alright…” my mom said, skeptically, but she seemingly still bought my excuse.  Yes!  About 15 seconds later (ugh, already 30 seconds gone!), Colin showed up at the door.  He was a very small kid, at this point at least, with round glasses, and a sweater that looked set to eat him. 

“Who…who are you, lady?”

I yoink him to the side, then take a knee so I’m eye to eye with him.

“Alright, I don’t have much time, but I need you to listen to me”.  Colin for his part just stared awkwardly at me, like I’d grown a second head.  Considering he hadn’t said or done anything so far, I decided I was good to keep going.

“So…I don’t know how to softly break this to your, but…I’m from the future”

He then proceeded to roll his eyes at me, before attempting to walk back to his house.  Damn, I’m gonna have to try something different - why did I think that’d work. 

“Listen...”

“Lady, I don’t know how you think you are, but time travel is impossible.  Now if you don’t let go of me, I’m-“

“I’m you, goddamnit!”

Silence followed.  “What?”

“Uh…we got hurt when we were five because we were throwing rocks up in the air.  We just purchased the newest A Series Of Unfortunate Events book from the book fair last month…you’re currently wearing a pair of panties you stole from mom in the hopes she doesn’t catch you.

At that, her face turned full red.  Either this lady was a mindreader, from the future like she said, or had some real dirt on him.  To be honest, she didn’t know if she liked any of those outcomes.

“Listen…I know it’s hard to believe, but the only person who knows those things is you.   I’m you from the future…”

Her head cloudy, and his heartbeat starting to pick up, she hesitantly asked “But….but you’re a girl?”

Reflexively I almost facepalmed, but I thought better of it. “Yes, I am”. I said plainly

“And you’re me”

“Yup”

“So…I become a girl”

“Yes.  That’s why I’m here to talk to you”

She stuttered out her next few words.  “But I’m…I’m…I’m n-n-not supposed to be a g-g-girl…” her voice trailed off.”

Seeing that I was already two minutes through my allotted time, I decided to cut to the chase.

“Colin, we’ve wanted to be a girl for as long as we can remember-“

“No I don’t…” she interrupted, though not sounding confident in her inflection

“Is that why you cried when Gracie wouldn’t let you sleep with her friends at the sleepover cause you were a boy?”

No response, just a shameful look from Colin

“Is that why you had a panic attack in the puberty lesson in class last year?”

Her eyes started shifting around.  I could tell her dam was about to burst.

“Is that why you’ve been looking at me longingly this entire time?”

Before I knew it, tears were starting to fill her eyes.

And there it is.

She collapsed into my chest, an action were it not me doing it would get a scolding, but instead, I maternally hugged her, and softly ruffled her hair, letting her cry.  As much as I was glad to help, hugging yourself is weird, and most of all, I was down to two minutes left.   I broke the hug, and assumed the kneeling position again, trying to get little me as focused as upright as possible. The tears were still there for her (and me), but I tried to stay on point considering my limited time.

“Colin, we’ve been a girl for a long time.  I think you know that but have just been scared to admit it”.

‘But…but I don’t want my friends…or dad….or neighbors making fun of me…”

“They won’t.  I’m you, remember?  You’ll lose a few friends, but they weren’t that good to begin with.” I said to my former self, trying to not let the pain show on my face from my lost friendship with Erica…

“But how can I be a girl?”

“They make medicine” I pull a small blue pill out of my bra, and show it to her “that helps your body look like a girl.  You’ll grow boobs, start growing curves, and it’ll stop all the gross boy changes from happening to you!”

I swear, her eyes started glimmering at that, now staring down my estradiol as if it were the holy grail.  A thought reached her though

“But…if you’re me…why are you so big and strong?”

I purse my lips.  Young me was pretty blunt, wasn’t she? “Well…in my future, I…I was too scared to come out until I was in college.  By then, a lot of boy changes already happened to me, that I couldn’t change even with the best medicine…”  My voice trailed off, now myself trying to hold back tears. My former self looked sad too.

I pivoted “Which is why I’m here talking to you now.  You can start being a girl RIGHT NOW.  Look, I know it’s gonna be scary, and you might lose some friends, but it will help you so much down the road.  You’ll be so much happier, and feel so much more whole as a person”

“How do I start?”

“Tell mom and dad.  Tell them to take us to a doctor to block out current puberty, and start on estrogen, and don’t give up until they let you do so…”  I looked at my watch “Shit!” 20 seconds left.  I already felt my body starting to fade “Uh…I don’t have much time left.  But Zoey!” I yelled, causing my younger self to jerk up - that got her attention “You know how you kept saying ‘I wish I was a girl?’ You can and will be the cutest, kindest, sweetest girl ever.  Your parents will love you and-“ Now my tears started again “you’ll find someone who will love you for who you are…oh on that, ASK OUT ROSIE B-“

— —

And that was that.  That was all the time I got, and I couldn’t finish all I wanted to say.  I was mentally kicking myself, until the light slowly came back, as my body faded back through that same membrane, and brought me back to 2020.

I took a first step out, but immediately noticed things were different.  For starters, while my clothes all fit, I was no taller than about 5’1”.  My hips also were far larger than they were before, and while I still weighed  a bit extra, my arms were slimmed down, and my skin porcelain smooth and hairless.  It almost looked like testosterone had never even touched me.

And that’s when I knew - my plan worked!

I started jumping for joy, leaving the Gate attendant perplexed.  Oh my god, is that my voice?  I miss this- it sounds so cute!  I stand back firmly on the ground, and awkwardly feel around my body, before one last thing catches my eye.

A small, delicate ring on my left hand, featuring an emerald gemstone.

Am…am I married?

I frantically run to the locker, and grab my purse back, rushing to pull my phone out and unlock it.  I check the background screen for it, and…

It’s me and Rosie, not more than a few months ago.

In wedding dresses. Matching wedding dresses.  The wedding dresses Mom helped me pick.  While walking down a flower covered aisle.  The roses we both chose together.

As everything falls into place, I almost drop my phone, and start bawling.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined my trip through The Gate to go so well.

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