“Okay, first thing’s first, I need to get some more Henoka leaves.”

Walking down the middle of the street, I said as I looked into my near empty pack of homemade cigarettes. The butler can wait, I must get my leaves. 

Long live the Henoka!

“What about you?”

Looking at the girl beside me, I ask casually as I stuff my hands in my pocket. 

“Me? I’m fine with following you anywhere you go, master. By the way, what do you think of my outfit?”

Mary said with a small but energetic smile as she did a twirl. She was wearing the typical village girl dress one would see in manga. Except for being cute, I’d mistake her for your average person on the street. 

Before I left the castle, I thought I should bring Mary with me since the whole time She’s been with me, she’s done nothing but work. 

She deserves a little vacation. 

As for information gathering on the butler I can still do that. I’m going to just do a quick walk around the Yulstein estate. 

He should be in the garden tending to the flowers right about now. 

“You look pretty as always. However, it’s weird seeing you in something other than your maid outfit.”

Not that I mind. The amount of skin she shows in this dress is a feast for my eyes. It’s very appealing. 

“Well, these are the only clothes I have. I spent the majority of my time working in the castle so I never had time to explore the capital and buy more clothes.”

“Hmm, the life of a royal maid sure is hard.”

“Of course it is. The strict training that the head maid put us through for selection is renowned nationwide...”

Mary then gives an in-depth explanation of the grueling selection process that consisted of their understanding of noble etiquette, the basic duties of a maid and their physical and academic ability. Apparently out of the 100% that are selected to become a royal maid, only around 45% make it through. 

I’m no math wiz but from my understanding that’s over half!

“So basically you're telling me you're the cream of the crop?”

“That’s right! Now praise me!”

Mary said as she struck a pose. Seeing her cute attempt at narcissism, I say lazily and unenthusiastically. 

“Damn, that’s cra~zy.”

“…Why do I sense a hint of sarcasm behind those words?”

“What? Sarcasm? You must be overthinking things. Now come on, continue being smug. I want to practice my backhanded compliments.”

“What’s the point of denying only to turn around and admit it immediately after? Master, there are moments when I doubt your intelligence.”

“Why you little-“

With our usual but questionable master-servant banter, we made our way towards my Henoka leave supplier. 

***

“Can you see into the future with magic or something? How come whenever I get a fresh shipment of goods I always see your face?”

Weighing the Henoka leaves on a scale, the merchant who always supplies me with Henoka leaves said with an annoyed expression. 

“I don’t know. Intuition?”

I said with a laugh. But little did he know that I sneak into his store at the beginning of each month and copy his shipment manifest.

I just arrive here on the dates specified on the papers and *bam* my Henoka leaves are restocked. 

Man, it feels great not having to live up to the moral and ethical standards of a hero! Why gamble with coming here on certain days hoping he’ll have my products when I can just brea- sneak in, copy his resupply dates, and come here the day after the supplies are properly placed in the store. 

I’m a genius!

“Here you go. The same price as always.”

“Tch, why can’t you just order more? That way it’ll be less expensive.”

Throwing out a complaint, I paid for the leaves and placed them in my pouch. 

“There’s a thing called supply and demand kid. You’re practically the only one who buys these leaves on a regular basis. If I sold it at a lower price than usual, I’d be making a loss instead of a profit.”

“Hmph! Who said anything about you taking a loss. I’m talking about me! It’s me that wants to profit! I want more bang for my buck, dammit!”

“…You’re lucky you’re a customer right now. Otherwise I’d kick your ass!”

“I can say the same thing considering I have to pay these cutthroat prices. But because you’re the only place I know that sells Henoka leaves, I tolerate you.”

Rather than not knowing, I’m just too lazy to find another store.

“This is one of the most aggressive transactions I ever saw.”

Mary who was standing to the side said in amazement. 

“I agree with you Mary. But because there’s a thing called ‘money’ in this world, even the hatred between enemies can be quelled. Ain’t that right, the enemy of my wallet?”

“Of course. I don’t sell my merchandise to you because I like you, it's because you got money.”

Like a certain rap group once said, cash rules everything around me. 

“Anyways, is there anything you want Mary? My treat.”

It wouldn’t hurt to give her a souvenir. 

“I’m fine, master.”

“You sure? I can buy it if you want? Just point and I’ll pay.”

“There’s no need for that master. Really.”

Mary affirmed as she glanced disinterestedly at the store's selection. 

“Alright. If you say so.”

If she says no, I can’t force her then. 

At this time…

“Eh? Master? Did she just say ‘master’? Are you a noble?”

The merchant asked with a surprised expression. 

Not wanting to explain why Mary called me by such a title, I did the only thing I could do. 

“…Perhaps.”

Roll with it. 

“I’ve come from a noble house in the countryside. It’s not a big family but it’s well off. Let’s go Mary.”

“Yes, master.”

Not waiting to answer the questions that were to come and possibly end up becoming a futile attempt at trying to make connections, I left the store in a hurry. 

***

“I’m sorry, master. It came out naturally.”

After walking a ways away from the store, Mary said with a downcast expression. Shrugging my shoulders, I slip one of my remaining old cigarettes into my mouth and say with a smile. 

“Don’t worry about it Mary. It’s not like I told you to not say it.”

While I might’ve hidden my identity in the past, I’m not so much of a stickler for it now. As long as people don’t realize the truth, I don’t mind them coming up with ideas by themselves. 

Whether or not that’s a good thing? Who knows. We’ll get there when we get there. 

“But still…”

“What’s done is done Mary. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s actually a good thing you said that. I might be able to get discounts now.”

From now on, the next time I visit, I’ll use the title of a noble. 

…Don’t think badly of me, okay? It’s not like I forced him or anything. Let’s call it ‘guided thinking’.

He wants connections, I want cheaper Henoka leaves. He thinks I’m a noble, and I think by the time he realizes I’m not, I’ll be long gone from this city. 

…

“Mary, don’t pick up any addiction, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing?”

Seeing the question marks floating above her head, I said dismissively. 

She’s too pure.

If she knew the struggles of a former nicotine addict who turned to a healthier but just as addictive alternative, she might’ve understood. 

But no. For she who probably hasn’t touched a cigarette in her life, she’ll never understand. 

“Oh, master, look over there?”

“Hmm?”

Snapping me out of my internal dialogue, Mary pointed towards an area in the street. 

“Paintings?”

Standing on the side of the street was a little kid no younger than eight years old. He was selling paintings of people. He had his canvas, paint brushes and everything set up for business. 

Seeing this, I came up with an idea. But to implement it…

“How much do you think he’s willing to sell his stuff for?”

I need his painting set!

“Eh?”

Ignoring the confused expression of the maid, I confidently walk towards the kid. 

***

Author’s note

• Guess who’s finally back with a chappy? You guessed it, me! As for the period of absence that may happen again in between chapters, I don’t know. 

• Also, I'm about three Bangs and two coffees in and on hour 17 of my staff duty, only 7 more hours to go till 6. So apologies for grammar mistakes. I’m on a fuck it mentality rn.

• On Monday I got a stress CCA coming up. Hopefully I can leave a good impression on my unit. Pray for me oh patient ones for yo boi is a nervous wreck (is it caffeine?)