Episode 254: Intention
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Flit’s room wasn’t far from the lab; TO only had to walk down the hall and take a few turns before they found Flit and Snout’s room. To their surprise, the door was open a crack, and TO could hear music coming from the room, along with a strange clicking noise that they couldn’t identify. 

 

Even though the door was open, it felt odd to just walk in, so they knocked gently on the door before peeking in. 

 

Flit sat on a bed on the far end of the room, their back against the wall as they tinkered with an odd puzzle cube that was making the clicking noise as they pushed and pulled pieces of it around. The small colorful toy wasn’t what really pulled their attention, though; what really caught TOs eyes was just the amount of personality that burst from every part of the room. They had expected it to be just as sparse and plain as their room in the training center was, but that was not the case at all. There was something on nearly every surface in the room; smooth rocks, small trinkets, and old paper books. Cheap fabric clung to the walls in places with such a variety of pictures on them that TO could find no theme or pattern to the images; people, places, scenery, buildings, animals and monsters all covering up the otherwise gray and dull wall. The music came from a small hologram that was projected over a glass box, a figure singing along with the music TO didn’t understand. Even the bed was unique, covered in a strange, mismatched quilt created from such a random variety of colors and textures of fabric. Even from where they were, TO could tell that the quilt had likely once been scraps of clothing that someone had stitched together. They caught sight of a box on the floor, filled with different colored threads and scraps of fabric. 

 

Had Flit made that quilt? Or Snout? They didn’t even know either of them could sew. 

 

“I really, truly do not have the energy to fight.” Flit said, pulling TO from their observation of the room. The older synth set down their puzzle and stood up. “If that’s what you’ve come for, I’d rather if we put it off until tomorrow, at least.” 

 

Their ears were low, their voice ragged. Much like with Snout, they seemed like they had this heavy fog around them. Well, that made sense. TO knew that if they fought with DH, then they’d have the same atmosphere of doom around themself. They remembered the day they had their date, when DH gently touched their ears, and TO snapped at them, leaving them alone in the line while they went back to their theater box. They were certain that they had the same lingering atmosphere of despair around them as Flit had now. 

 

Remembering that, remembering how awful they felt, they just couldn’t bring themself to be angry at Flit in this moment; at least, they couldn’t bring themself to express that anger. 

 

“I…. That’s not why I’m here.” Their ears flicked as they tried to figure out what they could or should say to Flit. In the end, truth seemed like the best option. “Snout asked me to come see you?” They ventured. “I think they were worried about you?”

 

Flit gave an annoyed huff as they walked to the table. From a box underneath, they pulled out aluminum cans with colorful labels. From their short time on Arkane, TO recognized it as a very cheap drink made of bubbly water and a myriad of chemicals that gave it a distinct flavor. 

 

“It’s more likely that they wanted you out of the lab.” Flit said as they set the drinks down on the table. “Drink. Stay away from the lab while they’re working.” 

 

TO’s ears pinned back, “Why would they want me gone?” They asked, a sharper snap to their voice than they intended, “I wasn’t planning to stop it-“ 

 

“It’s a surgery.” They said as they sat down, “You have issues with surgery and blood. It’s only natural that they’d want you as far away from the situation as possible.”

 

Those words spoken so matter-of-factually went through TO, curling up in their stomach and gnawing on their insides. Yes, ‌they had issues with blood, and they hated surgeries. DH knew that, so did Snout. If Snout knew, then Flit would know…

 

Who were they kidding? After they fainted from seeing all the blood on Tham, everyone knew. They crossed their arms, trying to look more annoyed than anything else, but the tilt of their ears and the way their wings tightened around them gave them away. “It’s not like I was in the surgery room.” They grumbled. 

 

“Maybe not, but what if one of them came out covered in blood or something? What if you could hear some of what they were doing?” They opened the can, the pop of the tab followed by the hiss of air covering up the silence.

 

“I don’t think that’s why.” TO snapped. They stayed standing, even though the extra can of water sat on the table as an unspoken invitation. “Snout was worried about you.” Right, this wasn’t about them, it was about Flit and Snout. “They looked awful. You look awful.” 

 

“… I probably do.” They said in a low, deadpan voice. 

 

Of course, they looked awful. TO knew they’d look awful if they fought with DH, and they’d be sick to their stomach with worry that maybe this pushed DH away. Even though they knew ‌DH loved them, there was still that little insect in their mind, eating away at their sanity as they worried. 

 

“… Is everything going to work out?” They asked, trying to make it sound as though they were just asking about the time. 

 

“I suppose.” Flit said, their low voice coming out sharp, “The procedure is being done, so there’s not much more point in arguing about it.” They leaned forward, resting their forehead in their hand. “I’m just so damn tired. That’s all. Tired of trying to do the right thing, and fucking it up every. Single. Time.” 

 

TO had never heard them swear before. They had heard them angry, of course, that time Flit caught them lying in the simulation, but they had never heard Flit curse before. Somehow, it sounded more defeated than anything else TO had heard. That, and the utterly exhausted tone they had, drove the resentment for TO’s mind for the moment, and they sat down across from Flit. 

 

Flit did mess up, didn’t they? So many dead synths because of them, because they stopped the correction process…. 

 

Of course, TO had just killed seven civilians; civilians who were just trying to enforce the law of their city. They really had little place to talk at the moment. 

 

“… Kei consented to the procedure.” TO finally said, hoping that might help. It was so much easier to be angry at Flit when they seemed in control and confident. When they looked so defeated and tired, it was near impossible, so the only thing TO felt they could do was make them feel better. 

 

“I find that very difficult to believe.” They said, “I had a hand in their early training. On top of having very typical minds, they were one of the more fervent in their devotion to King Decon.”

 

“Yes; that’s why they agreed.” TO said. They opened their own can of water and took tiny sips as they told Flit about what Avery said to Kei, and how they convinced them that getting the procedure would let them better serve King Decon. 

 

“That would do it.” They muttered. “Your friend had a good idea there, though I don’t know if it’s going to work out in the end.” They took another drink of their own water, finishing it before throwing the empty can across the room and to a box on the other side. They missed, and the can bounced off the wall and rolled away on the floor. “Even if it does work, we don’t know if it’ll work like we hope it will. Maybe it’ll break them. Maybe they will escape. Who knows?” They glared at the box, as though it had offended them by not catching the can. “I’m just done trying to fix things.” 

 

“What were you even trying to fix?” TO asked, regretting the words as soon as they slipped from their mouth. This clearly wasn’t the time to talk about this, but they had warned Snout ‌they didn’t think they’d be much good at this.

 

Flit clasped their hands together before them, pressing their thumbs between their eyes. “In hindsight… I have no idea.” They said, “The ability to think? To love?” A bitter snort escaped them. “Doesn’t matter. Whatever I was trying to do, it was stupid to do it.” He gave a deep sigh. “All I can do now is try to salvage what’s left. Get you, DH, and try to convince GiDi to leave Arkane.” 

 

“Wait… you want GiDi to leave?” They asked. “I thought you didn’t. I thought you were happy that they were part of the insurgency!” 

 

“I’d be happier if they were safe, and right now, with the lockdown in place and an army coming to deal with the planet, none of us are safe.” 

 

“DH and I are leaving.” TO said, their ears pinning back. “We’re going to get through the blockade, and we’re going to that planet.” They frowned, “GiDi too. If I have to tie them up and drag them off the planet, I’ll do it.” 

 

Flit shook their head, “If I had been smarter, I would have gotten them off the planet sooner. I would have sent them away as soon as we got here, but we got separated, and by the time we met back up, they were together with Pearla and refused to leave.” 

 

“Pearla would have gone with them, right?” 

 

“She would have.” Flit agreed. “And I didn’t push too much. I thought it’d be fine. I thought with three synths, we’d achieve some of Jason's dreams, but…” They trailed off, and fell silent for a few minutes. “Jason was special.” They said, “They could get anyone to go with what they wanted to do. They could just come up with the more ambitious plans, and people would go along with them. He was special. We’re not.” 

 

“… GiDi seems to manage things pretty well.” TO said, “And… they’re special too.” They gave a soft grin. “Though I don’t know how they ended up leading all this.” 

 

Flit, surprisingly, smiled as well. “You noticed that too.” They said, “They just slipped into the role, and they haven’t even noticed it yet.” He sighs, his low ears perking up just a little. “If they had a little more confidence… Well, it doesn’t matter. GiDi got Tham out of the prison and kept things together so we could feed ourselves and help some people. They got you, DH, and Avery here and out of King Decon’s influence so we could tell you what was happening.” They sat up, “They really thrived after finding Pearla, and if they had a fraction of Jason’s confidence, maybe we could do more than just survive.” Another sigh, “But we just need to survive. I just want to see you all safe at this point.” Their ears dropped again. “No more death.”

That was a sentiment that hit TO through to their core. No more death. TO didn’t want to see any more death either; synth or civilian. 

 

“.. What does Snout think?” TO asked quickly, desperate to change the subject. “They seemed upset, and you seemed so angry at them-”

Flit shrugged as they looked away. “They have more confidence, or at least more hope. Or maybe spite; Reversing the alterations would be like spitting in King Decon’s face, and I think they’re overlooking the risks…”

“... But will you two be alright?” TO asked. “I’ve never seen you fight before-”

Flit’s ears quirked forward as they peered at To, confused, “You’re worried about that?”

“Well… yes?” They suddenly felt like maybe it was a silly thing to be worried about. “You two will be alright, right?”

A low chuckle escaped Flit. “Yes, TO.” They said, “We’ve argued over less and over more. We’ll be fine before we sleep; I promise.” 

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