Less than a half hour later, TO already found themself exhausted, and looked forward to work that required less socialization. Some civilians, mostly the ones that had been here for a while and the few that TO had spoken to before going to the indebted center, were perfectly fine with TO, and cooperated as they collected information. The others treated them with the same distrust the Revmo held for them earlier.

It would have been better if everyone had been instantly distrustful, just so they could know what to expect. It was hard enough that their mind was in a tug-of-war between their current task and all the things that had happened in the last day, but the whiplash between the tentative friendliness and pity–the latter likely from those who had heard about their training–and the outright hostility and fear was adding another layer of emotional whiplash to the already difficult situation. 

 

Also, if people were just outright distrustful, then TO wouldn’t have to approach each new person with careful curiosity as they tried to gauge how they felt about them. They wished they had their helmet on, something to superimpose ears around civilians, and translate the more subtle expressions into clearer ear movements. 

 

They also wished that people would stop asking them why they were helping. Wasn’t it enough that they were? The first few times they had answered thoughtfully but their patience was quickly wearing thin. Why were they doing this? ‘Because my family is helping the insurgency. Because my mate is here. Because my friends are here. Because I want to get off this planet too. Because I want to.‘

The most recent person to have asked–a strange fishlike person with lizard-like scales and four eyes–got only the snappy response of ‘because’ followed by TO’s original question repeated through grit teeth. After getting the information they needed they turned to leave and nearly tripped over someone. They almost snapped at that point thanks to their fraying patience and the whirlwind of thoughts still spiraling in their head which they were desperately working to ignore, but somehow, they didn’t. They took a deep breath with their eyes closed, and then looked down to apologize for something that they didn’t even think was their fault.

They were so very glad that they didn’t snap.

“Constance.” TO gave the small child as much of a smile as they could manage, one that didn’t quite reach their ears. “How are you?”

“I’m good!” She said, her big black eyes sparkling, her fanged teeth showing. “Are you here to see your part-ner?” 

TO ignored the flush that crept up the back of their ears and knelt down so they were closer to eye level with the child, “Not today.” They said, “Today, I’m here to visit people.” They glanced around, looking for Mark. Hopefully, Mark would remember them and wouldn’t be as hostile as the others had been. Hopefully, their visit with Mira back when Mark was in the infirmary had softened him to TO. They looked for the dull sheen of blue over dull green scales, unfortunately, they couldn’t see them nearby. They looked to Constance and once again gave her a smile, “In fact, I’m here to visit your father. Can you show me where he is?”

“I can!” She said. Her expression suddenly turned very serious, “But only if you answer a question.”

“Alright.” TO said, suppressing their smirk. “I’ll try to.” Despite all the questions they had answered in the last thirty minutes, they didn’t think that Constance would ask anything particularly taxing.

She looked up TO, meeting their gaze with wide, dark eyes, “Do you eat people?”

They felt their ears fall. “No.” They said in a voice a lot firmer and deeper than they intended. They remembered her saying something like that before when they had first met. Yes, she mentioned someone telling her she had to sit still in her chair, or the synths could come and take her and eat her. They had found it almost amusing back then.

Today, it wasn’t amusing. 

 

“Are you sure?” She asked, “Because someone told me that If I kept racing across the floor with my board that you’d take me and eat me. And I said that I told you if you tried to eat me that I’d bite you, but you never said that you didn’t eat people, and…” She trailed off as she looked up at TO, watching them carefully as a frown pulled at the corner of her lips. “... I-I’m sorry.”

“For what?” TO said, now trying to keep some kind of smile on their face.

“... I think I made you sad?” She said, “I didn’t mean to.”

TO raised a hand to the side of their head, feeling how low their ears had gone. Were their ears so obvious, and the sorrow and guilt that swirled in them so deep, that even this civilian child could see it? Nobody else had, or if they had, nobody else had said anything or cared.

“It’s ok.” TO said, “I... I am sad. But it’s not because of you. It’s because of other things.”

“What other things?” She asked, still staring intently at TO.

“... It’s complicated.” TO said. “Don't worry about-”

“‘It’s complicated’ means you had a fight with someone.” She said, “Right?”

After a moment, TO nodded. She was kind of right. There was going to be an argument in the future. “Something like that.”

She nodded, then her hand- so comically small compared to TO’s wrapped around their forefinger and middle finger as pulled them forward. TO scrambled to their feet just before she pulled them too far, but even so they had to walk hunched over as Constance pulled herself along the floor.

“Come on.” She said, “Come see my daddy. He’s great at helping people!”

A handful of protestations died on TO’s lips. They didn’t need and didn’t want Mark’s help with everything they were feeling, but they wanted to see Mark. They still had Constance listed on the chart as being with Avery, and DH, and themself so she was their responsibility. TO wanted to make sure that all was well with him before they changed her name over. 

 

Constance pulled TO through the room, gaining them some odd glances as she brought them to the back corner where Mark was sitting, leaning with his arm pressed against the stone wall. His fake fin lay on the bed, unattached to his tail, and he gazed at nothing. 

 

It occurred to TO that perhaps Vik and Goretta could make a prosthetic for him as they had for Snout since it would be more comfortable, and would work better. Of course, as soon as they thought that the other thoughts of Vik, of GiDi came forward in their head. 

 

No. No, they didn’t want to think about any of that. They wanted to think of work, of the people giving them strange looks, of the confusing mix of hostility and friendliness that they were receiving now. Of course they couldn’t ignore Vik; they needed to be in contact with the tiny programmer in order to get things done. 

 

TO took a breath as they approached, and sent off the messages; one to Vik, and one to Goretta. If they didn’t think of Vik as a person, if they just thought of him as the programmer, then they could work with him for now without thinking about all the bad stuff. They just had to consider Vik as a small but vital piece in the machine that was the insurgency for now. 

 

“Daddy!” Constance’s face lit up as she approached, her voice louder than necessary, “Look, this is TO! They’re a synth and they don’t eat people.” 

 

At first, Mark’s face brightened when he saw Constance and to TO’s surprise it didn’t drop when they looked up and saw TO, nor did their pleased expression fade when Constance said rather loudly that TO was a synth. 

 

It did, however, fade into an awkward, almost apologetic expression when she proclaimed that TO didn’t eat people. 

 

“Well… That’s good to hear.” He said, clearing his voice. He glanced up at TO. “And uh… it’s good to see you again. Good, that you got out. I was worried that you wouldn’t make it since you didn’t go into the tunnels with us.” 

 

TO shrugged, “I took a detour.” They said as they stood up by the bed. Constance let go of their hand and pulled herself closer to her father. She looked up at TO, and firmly patted the bed with her tiny hand. “Sit.” She insisted. 

 

TO took a step back with excuses at their lips, but Mark nodded, “Yes, sit.”

 

Around them, a few of the civilians–

 

Though, should they be calling the other civilians now? Weren’t they civilians too, like Vik had said?

 

–were still watching them, either with fear, open distrust, or just with mild curiosity. So many eyes on them made their ears pin back as a prickle of unease rode up their spine. The feeling that something bad would happen if they sat with Mark overcame them. It was as though sitting with him was against some kind of rule. 

 

But… it wasn’t, right? Tentatively, they sat on the edge of the bed. 

 

“You said that synths would eat me if I didn’t go to school.” Constance said, her tail flicking in her chair and her fins rising. She put her little hands on her hips. “You lied! Synths don’t eat people!” 

 

Mark chuckled, his face darkening with a deep shade of blue, “Well… Let’s say I was wrong, not that I lied.” He gave her an apologetic smile, but glanced at TO, “See, my parents told me that synths would eat me if I didn’t eat all my seaweed.” 

 

She frowned, thinking this new information over, “So… Your parents lied?”

 

“… I think they misunderstood.” Mark said after a moment. He made a big show of clearing his throat. “Oh, wow. My throat is pretty dry.” He smiled at Constance, “Think my little jellyfish can get me some of that nice honey tea?” 

 

She huffed, her own face darkening with blue as well. TO realized that the tinge hitting their face was like how their own ears too often warmed and flushed. It was the first time they had met another species that blushed like that. 

 

“I’m not a Jellyfish!” She said as her tail gave an impatient flick.

 

“I know, but you’re cute just like one.” Mark teased. “Please, find that tea for me?” 

 

Constance fumed for a moment longer, then her fins dropped, “Ok…” She said as she rolled away. She stopped suddenly and turned around. 

 

“Mx. TO.” She said, her voice suddenly proper, “Can I get you anything?” 

 

Her sudden formality brought a grin to TO’s lips, and a perk to their ears, “No, thank you.” They said. 

 

“Ok. I’ll be right back!” She said as she turned around again, “Don’t leave until I get back!” 

 

“Take your time sweets.” Mark said, smiling widely as he waved to her. Once she was out of sight his expression dropped. 

“Hey, so… I’m really sorry about that.” He said, “About the whole synths eating her thing.” 

 

TO frowned as they looked at Mark, “Oddly, that’s the second time in less than a day someone has brought that up.” They said. “Which is strange, since I know for a fact that when we’re in our armor we’re not supposed to eat anything. Out of armor, nobody’s supposed to know we’re synths.” 

 

“Yeah, why is that?” Mark asked. 

 

“If nobody knows what we look like out of armor, then we can infiltrate civilian groups easily.” They said, “We can talk to people we suspect without people being on edge.” 

 

It occurred to TO that maybe that was why Revmo had said what he did to his partner. Synths serving King Decon would often go undercover as civilians for information. TO had been doing that with Petra and Lendulin, a fact that even as they thought of it now made their heart twist. Revmo suspecting that was actually rather insightful. 

 

Of course, if they were doing that, they wouldn’t tell anyone they were synths. 

 

“That’s why some people are all uptight, I guess.” Mark said. “They think you’re setting us up.” 

 

TO sighed, “Yes…” They said. “Apparently.” 

 

“Well, the eating kids’ thing; I think it’s because you don't eat when you’re in armor.” Mark said, “I mean, either people think you’re robots and don’t need to eat, or they think you eat something you have to hide.” 

 

TO huffed, “Well… neither.” They said. 

 

“It’s also probably an easier way to describe synths… you know, taking people,” He glanced at the wall as though there was suddenly something highly interesting on it. “You know, if kids refuse to go to school then that’s truancy. It’s not enforced in the outer ring, but it’s still breaking a law.” 

 

TO’s ears flattened, “I assure you, even dedicated, loyal synths don’t bother with truancy.” 

 

“Ah….” Mark looked down at the worn blanket, picking at a thread for a moment before asking ,”So… What do you eat?” 

 

TO gave a heavy sigh, then spoke loudly for the benefit of the surrounding people. “It’s more about what I can’t eat.” TO said. “Certain grains will make me sick, so will most forms of mammalian dairy. Most forms of eggs will hurt me.” They shrugged, “There’s a few more things, but if I asked you to list everything in the galaxy that you couldn’t eat, could you?” 

 

Mark shook his head, chucking, “Probably not.”

 

He fell silent, and there was an awkward moment between them before TO sighed and spoke again. “In training… back when I was still a synth, I mean, mostly we had these nutrition cubes.” They held up their thumb and forefinger, “We’d get a collection of little cubes about this size on an edible plate. It was mostly mycelium which was used for structure, and synthetic nutrients were added.” 

 

“Oh…” Mark frowned, “What did it taste like?” 

 

“Like nothing?” TO said. They took a moment to think of all the foods they had eaten since they got here, and remembered one they had tried on their date with DH. “Like a plain, uncooked button mushroom.” They wrinkled their nose. “I had a salad with them in it and bit into one with no dressing on it. It had the same texture too but they cut it too thin for me to be sure.” 

 

“… and that’s all?” Mark asked, “That’s all you ate?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“And… What about normal food? You said you had a salad-“ 

 

“Protein and fruit, mostly.” TO said. “They had most of the nutrients I need.” 

 

“Ah…” He gave a wry grin. “So… no children, and you don’t drink blood.” 

 

TO thought they might vomit at the thought. Maybe it was that, the shock of the suggestion, and how Mark was just so at ease with them they answered truthfully, “I feel sick and faint at the sight of blood.” They frowned, “And even if I didn’t, even if I needed to drink… that.” They suppressed a shudder, “Why did you tell your young child that a synth would eat her if she didn’t go to school? Didn’t that seem excessive to you?”

 

Mark shrugged and looked away, “I wasn’t lying when I said my parents told me the same thing.” He said, “It’s just something parents tell their kids.” 

 

“… So we’re the monsters used to scare your children into good behavior.” TO’s voice was sharp, but their ears dipped. 

 

“…. Sorry about that.” Mark said, “But… As you can see, Constance isn’t scared of you. Since she met you a few days ago, she’s now entirely fascinated with synths. She said you have ‘twitchy ears’ and a partner.” 

 

TO’s ears dropped again, this time without flicking back as they warmed slightly. “Yes.” They muttered, “She seemed surprised at that.” 

 

“Well, she thinks it’s cute.” He said, “So, congratulations, you’ve entirely changed her view of synths in armor and out. Don’t be surprised if she has questions for you later. Lots of questions. She even asked me if I think that every pair of synths on every planet are a couple.”

 

Another sigh from TO, but this time a slight grin pulled at their lips. “They are not.” They said. The idea was a fun one though. At any rate, they could probably handle questions from Constance since she had greeted them with such joy earlier. 

 

“… And on that note.” Mark said, clutching his bandaged arm which was still pressed firmly against the cool stone wall. “I have a favor to ask you.” 

 

“Alright…” TO said, glancing at the arm. They didn’t have the same medical training as DH did, but at a glance they could see it was swollen, and held a painful darker blue tone at the edges. “Painkillers?” They guessed. “Or a bandage change?” They frowned, their ears pinning back and dropping, “I can change bandages, but if the wound is bloody…” 

 

“Oh, no no, I wasn’t going to ask that of you.” He said, shaking his head with a sad smile. “This looks pretty bad under the bandages, even if it’s not bloody.” 

 

“Alright…” TO said, “Then, what do you need?” 

 

Mark squeezed his arm as he stared down at his blanket. “… If something were to happen to me, if I got left behind, or… just if I couldn’t get on the ship, would you take care of Constance for me?”