Synth 344: Afraid
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TO finished the repairs on the panel, which thankfully were relatively minor. The ship was designed to go hurtling through space at near unimaginable speeds, and durable enough to take damage from lesser stray asteroids and space junk. At worst, if something damaged parts of the ship, everything was modular and designed to be quick and easy to fix.

A stray rock from a cave speeding up at the mere acceleration of gravity wasn’t a big issue. 

 

Though, TO never thought they’d end up doing such a repair while listening to GiDi’s mate castigating her brother. Pearla had followed Tham back up into the cavern and had a few more words for him before she headed back to see GiDi. She kept her voice down low enough that the others working in the cavern didn’t hear her, but TO’s keen hearing let them hear nearly every word. 

 

Oddly, it made TO happy. They weren’t happy that Tham was getting told off, and they weren’t happy with the idea that Pearla was going to go back to GiDi and probably say even worse to them! No, TO was happy that Pearla knew, and that Pearla was angry on their behalf. It wasn’t like Goretta, who was angry because of the potential complications to her work; Pearla was angry because she found the situation unfair. 

 

It wasn’t until TO was packing up their tools that Pearla came back to check on them, face flushed with residual anger, “All done?” She asked. 

 

“All done.” TO said as they set the toolkit back in the hidden panel. “It was an easy fix. Tham really didn’t have to be so worried about this.” 

 

“Anything else you need help with?” She asked. 

 

A sign escaped TO’s lips. “I have a lot to do, but nothing else involves being around many people who I don’t know.” TO said. “So, I think I’ll be fine.” 

 

“If you’re sure.” Pearla said, giving TO a quick smile. “If you need anything, send me a message.” 

 

“But, you’re busy-“ 

 

“I know.’ She said with a slight flush, “And I know GiDi isn’t in a state to be around others right now, but I am. So, if you need my help, promise you’ll message me.” She looked up at TO, a serious expression on her face. “Again, you’re family. Family helps each other. So, let me know if you need any help.” 

 

In that moment, TO knew that Pearla was, in fact, their family. She had said as much, but in that moment TO felt their affection for her as strongly as they felt it for GiDi or Avery. Maybe it was that whole bonding thing taking over, or maybe it was the fact that Pearla was so intent on helping them.

Maybe it was just the fact that she was taking care of a situation when TO themself was so used to doing it. 

 

“…. Do you have someone taking care of you?” TO asked. “I mean..” their ears flicked down. It was nice to have someone who refused to let TO worry about them, but if that only made things harder on her… Well, TO knew the weight of responsibility, of trying to take care of everything. They knew how crushing it was when you failed. If it all made life harder on Pearla, then TO didn’t know how they felt about that. 

 

“Oh, don’t worry.” Pearla said, “GiDi looks out for me. Well, We look out for each other.” 

 

TO frowned, their ears flicking forward slightly in concerned confusion, “But.. you’re going to go yell at GiDi.”

 

“I’m going to have very strong words with GiDi.” She said, “We will have a discussion about this, and how shitty I think this failsafe stuff was….” She gave TO a little smile, “But… in the end, we’ll be fine, and GiDi will still be there for me. You think we haven’t had disagreements before?” She laughed softly, “When we have a disagreement, we work it out. We’ll be fine, I promise.” 

 

“… and it doesn’t bother you?” TO asked, thinking of every single time that they and DH got angry at each other, the way their stomach clenched, and the times they’d sleep alone in their pod, feeling DH’s absence stronger than they ever felt their presence.

 

“Well. Sometimes. But we’re people, we’re individuals, and we’re going to have disagreements. That’s inevitable! The important thing is that we talk about it instead of letting everything fester over weeks.” She smiled at TO again, “Seriously, don’t worry about that. Now promise me, if you need help.” 

 

“I’m message you.” TO said. They meant it, honestly and truly.

 

======

 

TO was not looking forward to the next task that they had to do. In truth, they couldn’t wait until they could just find a small, quiet place, and sort through the various needs of the civilians escaping the planet with them. They even wanted a little time away from DH just so they could not worry about seeming upset or angry!

They’d get that, but first… they had to check on something else. They had to get the answer to an important question.

 

The map that Vik sent TO earlier, along with TO’s memories of where they had gone just yesterday, was enough for TO to navigate to where they had to be. They made their way through the repaired tunnels, deeper, following the twisted paths to narrower tunnels with lower ceilings, all the way to the prisons that lay under the old subterranean city. To their surprise, Mira was still there when they arrived. 

 

“You’re still here?” TO asked as they approached the small modified cell that Mira and her bodyguard friend occupied. Neither of them had left the area–at least not for any extended period. They had stacked empty food containers in a corner, telling TO that the two had eaten at least four meals down here. 

 

“My work is mostly done.” Mira said. She lay forward, arms on the table, her insectoid legs folded under her as she watched the screen before her with big, black eyes. Occasionally the broken bits of her wings would flicker. “I’ll be helpful by watching Kei.” 

 

“I’m sure we could find someone else to watch them.” TO said as they glanced at the screen. The screen hovering over the desk showed Kei sitting in a corner, their wings around themself, their legs pulled up to their chest. “Where’s Goretta?” TO asked, not seeing her on the screen, “She was trying to talk to them, right?” 

 

“Yes, and she’ll be back later.” Mira said, “But she has other things to do. Something about getting specs from Vik.” She shrugged and looked up at TO, “She wants to check on what he did to your brains with that failsafe.”

 

An angry flush covered TO’s ears as they pinned back, “Unnecessary. We’ve had no adverse effects-”

 

“For Kei, I think.” She said, “She needs to go over what Kei did. That’s what she said, anyway.” She leaned back, crossing her arms, “Apparently, you lot can’t have your chips removed at all-“ 

 

“The upper chip connects directly to the brain stem and acts as an extension of our nervous system.” TO said, “And connects with the chip in our hand, which holds functionality” 

 

Mira winced, “So, when they took out your chips, it was like amputating you?” 

 

TO hadn’t considered it like that. Even as Mira said it TO felt their hand slide over the elastic that held their chip in place on their wrist. Calling it an amputation didn’t feel right as it was an added aspect of their body… but it was part of their nervous system now. TO could remember when it was first removed when they first came to the underground, and how they had felt its absence, how they’d reach out to connect to it, and find it missing. 

 

Even now, when they tried to use it for something mundane, to check a message, to check the time, or to make a note while the elastic that now held their chip sat on their wrist, they always suffered a strange effect. It was like mentally walking into a wall. 

 

“Something like that.” TO said. “I think it’s just too dangerous to remove the tech in the brain stem, especially when it’s easier to simply alter or remove our chips.” 

 

“Fair. Anyway, Goretta wants to check the stuff Vik did to make sure it won’t mess with anything she did. I almost feel sorry for Vik; Goretta is relatively calm, but if you mess with her patients…” She shrugged. “Aside from that, she has other patients to check on, so … yeah, she’s not here.” 

 

TO pushed their chip into place, “Well, I’m sure I could find someone to take over-“ 

 

“No.” Mira said as she eyed the screen. “I want to watch him.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because I'm very good at figuring people out.” She said, “I’m good at watching, and seeing how they act, how they feel just from observing them even if they’re not talking.” She snorted, “If I could get them to talk to me, even just a little, I’d probably learn so much.” 

 

“They won’t talk to you. It’s protocol.” TO said. 

 

Mira huffed, “Well, they’re scared that much is sure.” She said as she watched Kei on the video. “Am I right?” 

 

TO hadn’t paid too much attention to Kei at first beyond noting that they were in the cell, and that they were alone. As they now leaned forward to better observe Kei, they could see how their ears pinned back and tilted down. Their eyes were enormous, their teeth hidden by thin, tight lips. That alone would have been enough for them to agree with Mira, but the way Kei’s wings were wrapped around their own arms, holding themself tightly and hiding themself would have been enough on its own for TO. 

 

TO wasn’t used to seeing Kei like that. Oddly, it made a lingering anger simmer in their stomach. 

 

“Oh, they’re frightened.” TO hissed, “They didn't care that Avery and DH were frightened, did they?” Their eyes narrowed, their ears pinning back, “They don’t care how upset Avery is, do they?”

 

“Avery’s upset?” Mira asked, turning from their screen. 

 

“Yes.” TO hissed. They didn’t want to go over all the information on pack bonding, Ankyra, and shatter sickness, but they figured they could skip that. “To be brief; they considered Kei a friend, and their attack has hit them hard.” 

“Right.” Mira said, “Well, it’s possible they don’t know about that, right?” She said, “I mean, the only person who saw them since they got put in there was Goretta, and would she even know how Avery is feeling?”

TO frowned. “Probably not.” They said. That idea just made them more angry. TO wanted Kei to know, to understand what they did to Avery. They wanted Kei to know how Avery was suffering.

Mira watched the screen for a moment longer, then looked up, “What brings you here, anyway.” 

 

“Kei, actually.” TO said. “Something has to be done with them.” 

 

Mira’s eyes widened, “And you’re going to decide what it is?” 

 

“No.” TO said. “I need to talk to them and decide if they’re safe enough to transport with the rest of us. Of course, if it was my choice, I’d leave them behind in that cave.”

 

“Leave them to starve to death?” Mira asked, her antenna flicking slightly as she frowned at TO. 

 

“Leave them to share the fate of the rest of the planet… if Decon kills everyone.” 

 

“… but it’s not your choice.” Mira said. “Whose is it?” 

 

“Likely, it’ll be a group decision.” TO said, “Not mine alone. But, before I worry too much about that, I need to talk to them. I need to see what they want, to ask why they did what they did. I need to know their intentions. If I ask pointed questions, they shouldn’t be able to hide much from me.”

 

“… Right.” Mira said, “And they’ll talk to you?”

 

TO shrugged, “They don’t like me anyway, so maybe my presence will make them angry enough to talk to me. If not… Well that won’t help them much, will it?”

 

Mira eyed TO for a moment longer before shrugging, “No.. I suppose not.” She said, “Basically, you’re seeing how cooperative they’ll be…” She looked back at the screen, “I’ll admit… I’m not looking forward to having them on the ship with us.” 

 

“Why not?” TO asked. 

 

“They’ll be on a ship full of what they consider to be insurgents and insurgent sympathizers, yes?” She asked. 

 

TO nodded, “Yes Including myself and the other…Chilacians.” 

 

Mira nodded, “And Kei’s a synth. A proper one.” She said, “Trained and loyal and all that, right?” 

 

TO nodded. “As far as I know.” they said. Avery had hoped so much that Kei would be different when the procedure was done. Maybe it was that hope that made Kei’s attack so much worse on them.

 

“So… if they end up on the ship, there’s a chance they could sabotage it, right?” She asked. “I mean… I listen, I pay attention. I imagine that a ‘proper’ synth would think nothing of sacrificing themself to do something they think would benefit King Dick, right?” 

 

Despite everything, TO couldn’t help the way their ears flicked back when she called him that. “Correct.” TO said, “… So you think they’d sabotage us, or damage the ship.” 

 

“Maybe they could damage the oxygen, or the fuel, or… I don't know: I don't know enough about space travel to guess how many things they could do to it.” 

 

TO nodded. They hadn't sat down to think about it yet, but Mira was correct; that was a risk. Risks had to be weighed with the rewards. What would be best for the insurgents? What would be best for Avery? Though they didn’t think Kei deserved the consideration, they also felt as though they had to wonder what would be best for Kei as well. 

 

Which was why TO didn’t want to make this decision on their own. 

 

“… Well, they’re yours.” Mira said, “One of you, I mean. So, whatever you decide, I think you Chilacians should decide it among yourselves.” She leaned back, “I said my piece.” 

 

“They’re not a Chilacian.” TO said. 

 

“No? They have a normal mind now, yeah? Doesn’t that make them Chilacian?” 

 

TO looked past Mira, and watched the screen for a moment longer, watching the recording of Kei. They’d think that they were just looking at a picture if it weren't for the slight flickering of their ears; of the very tips which twitched and flicked with whatever feelings the thoughts inside them were eliciting. It was so obvious on them, so strange, that TO couldn’t help but notice it. Kei’s ears had never moved that much before, and while Mira probably didn’t notice it, TO did.

They didn’t like it. 

 

“No idea.” They said, “Let’s go see what they want to be called.” 

 

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