TO didn’t like Kei’s laughter. When DH, Avery or GiDi laughed, it was a joyful, soft laughter which made TO feel as though everything was going to be ok, at least for a moment. Kei’s laughter right now just felt, looked, and sounded so wrong. The laugh itself was cold and sharp, each syllable feeling like a pointed attack. Although they were laughing, their ears were tense and pinned back in an expression of anger and rage that felt so wrong to TO.
Kei’s laughter felt like a threat.
TO took a few steps back, feeling their ears dip and their wings tighten around them as they watched Kei, watched them laugh as they clutched their injured, bleeding hand to their chest.
“All this time, I thought you were superior despite your flaws.” Kei finally said, “Your needless mental creativity, your quick thinking, your problem-solving abilities, they all seemed to be special skills for you, skills that would make you useful to King Decon. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed like those were skills I simply could not teach myself.” They chuckled again and looked up at TO. Their eyes narrowed and the grin on their face showed most of their teeth. “I know better now.” They hissed. “You all forced me to undergo that procedure, and now my mind is sharp. Now, I see the solutions to problems before me as clearly as I see you now.” They held yup their injured hand. “As clearly as I see my blood.” They slipped one of their bleeding fingers into their mouth, sucking the blood from the skin.
TO felt grateful for a moment to not see the bleeding, but the idea of Kei ingesting their own blood made their stomach feel heavy; their head, light.
“You are inferior.” Kei said, their ears lifting only slightly. Kei spoke as thought they were a very patient overseer explaining something which TO just could not understand. “If you had been normal, but still had your mind, then I shudder to think what you might have done for King Decon. You had this amazing tool from the start… And you wasted it.”
Kei’s eyes narrowed as they clamped their teeth down on their finger. There was a moment, where they seemed to hesitate, where they strained their teeth against their own skin. Suddenly, their jaw closed and a sudden crunch emanated from them. TO’s stomach churned as Kei pulled their finger away from their mouth, the tip now a bleeding stub. Blood poured from the stub and-
-blood, bone, disinfectant, latex, skin-
-seeped over their lips as they grinned-
-The room was spinning. TO could feel gloves on their hand-
-and spat the bit of flesh bitten off their finger as hard as they could at TO. It struck their leg, splattering them with shiny droplets of blue blood before landing on the floor in a tiny pile of gore.
Blood bone disinfectant latex. The sound of a scalpel through skin.
There was Blood on TO’s clothes, and blood at their feet. A tiny piece of flesh sat on the floor before them, mangled and covered in wet, glistening blue. It was only a little blood, TO knew, but somehow it seemed to be so much more. The smell of it was sharp and acidic and seemed so overwhelming to TO! Blood was on Kei’s face as they grinned at them, seeping from their lips. It poured from their finger, leaving a blue puddle on the floor before Kei.
The hallway spun. It was a whirlpool of blood.
TO stumbled away from Kei, swaying as their stomach churned. They turned to the side, vomiting, flailing for something to grab onto, something to keep them steady. Their hand landed on the stone wall but all they could feel was the insides of that juvenile synth through their gloves. They could feel the hardened, diseased lung that they had to dispose of, the eyes that saved DH, the bones they saved for the stem, skin for skin grafts, liver for transplants for high-ranking synths. PQ03, the old synth production officer who once worked with Snout, said that the inner organs were saved only for the most valuable synths whose mental value and expertise was worth more than the overall cost of a lengthy surgery and recovery period.
TO pulled their hand away from the wall as though it was on fire, stumbling back as they did. Their head felt like it was detached from their body, like it was being pulled up and away. They tripped on something, falling, expecting to hit the hard stone floor.
They didn’t. Instead of hitting the floor, TO fell into the vortex of blood in their mind.
======
It didn’t feel like a dream. A part of TO knew it had to be, but it felt far too real, and was far too normal compared to TO’s other dreams. In this dream, TO was back in training. They were in the production lab once more, locked in the procedure room with PQ03 as the older synth set out the body of the deceased juvenile. It was so normal for a dream, so different from how this dream normally played out. There were no strange sights, or people that weren’t supposed to be there, and the body didn’t randomly turn into other people. It was just TO themself, the PQ03, and the body. The officer instructed TO on how to cut open the skin, how to crack the bones and get into the ribcage.
Here’s how you remove the heart.
This lung is the diseased lung, so we dispose of this.
We can harvest these bones for stem cells.
Careful with the skin there, that’s perfect for a graft.
Those eyes are the proper size, so we can save them.
Save this organ for transplant.
These organs are too underdeveloped to be used for transplant.
Save the fatty tissue. We can use that for building organ scaffolding for synthetic organs.
This dream felt more real than the event itself. It was far more clear and intense compared to the fog-like state that TO had originally experienced the awful situation in. It was as though their brain had recorded the event and saved it for a day when they might want to show TO what happened in clarity that TO could not experience at the time. The smell of disinfectant was strong, and TO could feel the gloves on their hands, and the soft organs through thin latex.
Please stop.
They tried to speak, but they couldn’t. Their body continued replaying the gruesome scene as their mind struggled against it, trying to stop their hands from moving and following the instructions PQ03 gave them.
They would have had a better chance of changing the course of a show by shouting at the screen. Of course, at least with a show they could turn it off if they didn’t like it. TO couldn’t even close their eyes to the awful scene before them. They tried, but they just couldn’t. They closed their eyes, but they could still see.
Then, finally, blissfully, they closed their eyes, and there was blackness.
======
There was a low mumble from nearby. At first, TO didn’t know what it was, or where they were. For a few seconds, they thought they were back in training, certain that they were laying under a thin blanket in their pod as they waited for their day to start. Someone was talking nearby, and TO could tell just by the sound of the voice that it was a synth, likely DH. Were they awake? Were they talking to GiDi?
The person who responded was not a synth: Their voice was so much thinner than the rich voice that synths had thanks to their triple vocal chords. Confusion and fear raced through TO as their eyes shot open and they sat up-
And instantly felt nauseated. Their head throbbed, and they flopped back down on the bed with a loud groan, holding their hands to their eyes.
“TO!” the voice they heard earlier was indeed their mate. They’d know DH’s voice anywhere, but how DH said their name was different from how anyone else said it. The way they seemed to pronounce each letter separately instead of running them together as ‘Tio’ was unmistakable.
TO felt their mate’s hand on the back of their head, scratching at the base of their scalp.
“Where…” They wanted to ask where they were, but they felt weak and tired, and the pain was a lot to deal with.
“Just relax.” DH said. “I brought you to our room. Mira called us as soon as you fainted.”
The memories slowly came back to them, trickling through their mind as though TO’s thoughts were traveling through a thick fog.When they recalled what Kei did, how they bit off the tip of their finger and spat it at them, TO paled and groaned. “I-I’m going to be sick.” They whispered.
Before they could say anything else, they felt DH’s hand on their back. DH gently rolled them to the side so they could throw up in a bucket at the edge of the bed.
“You might feel sick.” Goretta said. Now that TO was a bit more awake, TO could recognize her voice. “You smacked your head pretty good on the floor. I saw the video after we got you away from-”
“Away from Kei.” DH hissed. There was venom in their voice that felt so strange to TO. As TO finished emptying the contents of their stomach, DH kept rubbing their back, and scratching at the base of their skull.
“Did Kei really do that?” TO whispered. They hoped maybe their memories were wrong. If they hit their head, that was possible, wasn’t it? “Did they really bite-”
“Yes.” Goretta said, sighing. “I could reattach their fingertip, but I had to knock them out to bring them to the operation room.” She sighed. “They agreed to go peacefully, but I couldn’t risk it.”
“Where are they now?” DH hissed.
“In recovery again.” She said, “Strapped down once more. I hate having them strapped down like that but-”
“But nothing.” DH hissed. “You should have let them lose their fingertip.”
“I needed to bring them to the surgery room, anyway.” She said, “The risk of infection-”
“It’d be their own fault!” DH snapped. “They bit off a piece of their finger and spat it at TO! You saw the video! Kei’s lost it.”
TO finally rolled onto their back, whimpering in pain. Before they could even ask, DH was helping them up, propping pillows behind them and offering them water, and a small cup of pills.
“An accelerant, and good painkillers.” DH said as TO looked at the pills. “You should be fine tomorrow.”
“We need to save the painkillers.” TO said, shaking their head and passing the pills back.
“We’re saving the painkillers for people who need them.” DH said, “You need them, so you get them.” They pushed the pills back to TO.
“I can handle a little pain.” TO protested, but DH shook their head, their ears pinning back
“TO, I love you, you know I do, but this is why we were saving the pills! We were saving them so we could use them in an emergency!” they leaned forward, “Now.. you’re going to take the painkillers, or I swear I’ll force feed them to you.”
TO’s eyes widened, their ears dipped back. They had never seen DH like this! The closest they got was just from the other night, when DH found out about the failsafe.
DH sighed, closing their eyes and taking a deep breath to calm themself. Slowly, their ears relaxed, “TO… I’m worried about you, that’s all.” They said, “Please, will you take the painkillers?”
TO sighed and finally took the painkillers. They drank some water, and then swallowed both pills at once. Almost instantly, DH seemed relieved.
“You’ll be a little off for the rest of the day.” DH said, “The drugs are strong, so they’re going to affect your mind a bit-”
“You mean it’s going to make them very high.” Goretta said, amused.
“Yes.” DH said as they looked TO in the eyes, “And the reason I choose that particular drug is two-fold. First, it’s one that won’t work on civilians, so there’s no point in saving it for anyone else.”
“Alright…” TO said, “And the second reason?”
DH smiled, their ears dipping down a bit, “Two… it’s going to make you high enough that you won’t be able to work.”
TO’s eyes widened, “I need to-”
“What you need to do is rest.” Goretta said. “I think you should take a few days off, but DH promises that with that accelerant, you can be back to work tomorrow morning.” She sighed. “It’s almost cruel to use that stuff. It just makes things hurt more. What if we didn’t have painkillers?”
DH sighed, “We’d do without.” They said, “But thankfully, that’s not the case.” With a sigh, DH got up and headed to the table in the middle of the room where a small speaker was sitting. They turned it on, and that one musical, the one that they could listen to repeatedly, played.
“Just rest and listen to the musicals.” DH said, “You’ll get high, you’ll sleep, and rest. Try to keep your eyes closed too, I don't want you to get eye strain on top of the concussion.”
TO nodded, and lay back, listening to the music. If they could not work, then they could at least enjoy the rest, and the musical. A part of them was grateful that DH had given them those drugs although they had so much work to do. Not only did it ensure that TO couldn’t work, but they hoped their mind would be slippery enough that they couldn’t worry about GiDi’s involvement in the failsafe, or about Avery and the shatter sickness.
They had one worry in the front of their mind though, “What are we going to do with Kei.” TO said.
“I’m going to keep them under observation for now.” Goretta said, “We can’t have them hurting themself worse.”
“No.. I mean..,” TO looked at her, their eyes squinting against the light of the room. “I mean, are we bringing them with us?”
“... I think that should be something you all should decide.” She said, “You Chilacians. When you’re better, I will go over a few things for you to take into consideration, but that will wait.”
TO flopped back, and nodded. “That’s what Mira said.” They whispered. They lay back, waiting for the drugs to take effect. “She said we should decide.”
“Well, I agree with that.” Goretta said, “Rest now, And we’ll talk tomorrow.”
TO did as they were told and lay back to rest. They didn’t have the mental fortitude to think about this right now, to parse what happened back in the hallway and put it into perspective. Still, they had the ability to form a single, simple thought about the situation.
They did not want to be on a ship with Kei again.
