TheMangaGod

So, this chapter's title is literally a joke about how all of our main characters spend the first half of this chapter staring at Argent's new tattoo. Which happens to be... directly above her butt. I thought long and hard (Heh) of the exact placement of the tattoo and after thinking about it seriously I... decided to go for the joke. Yeah, I should be ashamed about a butt joke but honestly, I find this bit unashamedly hilarious. I'm a bad person.

Have I ever said how much I like Argent's character?

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- Arachne Hidden Village, Riyuegu Xiamen Holy Manor Hot Springs - Rose's POV -

And so, I found myself doing something that would have got me thrown in jail if I were still male, or even just my original age to be honest as what I was doing was heinous enough that any court of law would have instantly branded me a pervert regardless of gender. What, you may ask, was I doing that was so perverted? Staring at a young girl's butt. Now before you start brandishing the pitchforks and torches let me at least speak in my defense. I wasn't technically looking at what, on an older woman, would have been immensely more exciting. Instead, I, as well as everyone including Annabelle were looking at a patch of skin directly above the slight swelling flesh below it. And what, pray tell, were we looking at? A tattoo.

Located right above the blossoming behind of a young woman was something so far out of place that Veronica's comment about it a few moments before had caused us to immediately halt our discussion as we forced the blushing noblewoman to expose her derriere to a crowd of curious onlookers. Namely, us.

[H-How's it look? A-And is it cute? Please tell me it's at least cute!] - Argent

[Yeah, it's definitely a cute butt I'd give it a- OW! Hey?!?] - Veronica

[Stop it! She was talking about the tattoo, and you know it!] - Malaise

[Looks a bit like a Dragon getting strangled by vines, right? What do you think Karen?] - Rose

[If I were to guess I'd say those are roses. When did you get this anyway? Didn't take you for the type of girl to ink yourself at your age.] - Karen

[...pure type?] - Shade

Still embarrassed by all the attention focused on her backside the, formerly assumed, pure noblewoman asked what we thought of her inking. Purposely misinterpreting her question our resident pervert immediately attempted to fondle the exposed flesh below said tattoo only to be smacked with the expected teleporting book as she was chastised by Malaise. Trusting the foxgirl to keep Veronica under control for at least a little longer I decided to comment on the strange art that definitely wasn't there the last time we'd bathed together. When'd she even get this anyway?

Luckily for me though I wasn't the only one that thought sudden tattoos were strange as Kare Kare vocalized my thought in the most stereotypical "90's kid raised to believe that tattoos were for bad people" way. ¹Yes, this is an actual belief among a large amount of 30-somethings. Kind of ingrained into us from a young age that tattoo's=unemployable. Luckily this is no longer the case but for most of my life this was a widely held belief. Shade's tilted question didn't help things either as she was just as confused that the pure noble would do something so out of character.

[I-I wouldn't! I mean I didn't! I mean I never got it done! It just showed up! I'm as surprised as you guys!] - Argent

[Now I understand being embarrassed by your individualism being showcased so publicly like this but tha-] - Karen

[I'm not lying! Until Veronica mentioned it, I had no idea it was there! I've never even thought of getting a tattoo, Papa would kill me! Oh Gods, what am I going to tell my family?!? They'll confine me to the family estate until I become and adult if they find out!] - Argent

[Ooookay putting aside the nonchalant wealth flex you're saying that this fairly large tattoo just... showed up? With no warning whatsoever? You didn't get this in town as some sort of rebellion against your dear old Papa or something stupid like that? I mean you've made a few stupid decisions recently...] - Karen

Argent's next claim was bizarre, even as we were surprised by the idea that this seemingly upstanding and upright noblewoman would deign to get any kind of body art, we'd never have even considered that she HADN'T actually done it herself. And what's more the surprise on her face actually seemed genuine, as if she WAS as surprised as we were to find out she was sporting a tattoo. It seemed that Karen in particular was even more suspicious, recent events causing her to find less reason to trust the noble that she already viewed in a less than positive light. The nod that Annabelle gave that agreed with my favorite slime girl betrayed her thoughts on the matter as well despite her less than talkative stance so far. Only they seemed to be convinced she'd done it to herself however as everyone else, myself included, wore less skeptical faces.

[No! No, I'd never disappoint Papa by besmirching my body in such a vulgar way! I'd never be able to get married if I did some- Oh gods do you think Ogi is okay with tattoos?!? N-Not that I'm particularly w-worried about his opinion or anything!] - Argent

[Uhh... I've heard that Ogre society is actually very pro tattoo actually. In fact, it's kind of a rite of passage to receive one at 10 years old.] - Malaise

[Phew. N-Not that I'm happy that he'll be fine with t-tattoo's or anything! I-I wasn't worried about that at all!] - Argent

[Okay fine, I'll believe you for now but then my question now is how?] - Karen

[...magic?] - Shade

Okay that nixes it for me personally. This adorable bundle of pure cute had no idea she had a tattoo. Her worries about her "beloved" and whether he would be okay with her SOTS (sudden onset tattoo syndrome) made it clear to me that she had absolutely no forewarning of her newly tattooed state. Although that begged the question as to where it came from? Hmm...

[Is- Is it possible it has something to do with this Trial thing you told me about when you pledged yourself to me?] - Rose

[Wait pledged herself?!? Hold the fuck right there and explain yourself!] - Karen

[Yeah! How dare you get a head start on Rose before the rest of us could!] - Veronica

[...cheating. Crush the enemy...] - Shade

[Wawawawa! What's going on?!? Head start?!? Cheating? Huh?!?] - Argent

[Haaaaaah... Guess I'll need to explain everything first.] - Rose

- Arachne Hidden Village, Riyuegu Xiamen Holy Manor Hot Springs, Several Tense Minutes Later - Rose's POV -

[Okay so you just pledged loyalty to Rose as her knight using a traditional pledge from your family? Am I understanding this correctly? Annabelle?] - Karen

[Yes.] - Argent

[...unfortunately.] - Annabelle

[And said Trial that Rose spoke about is some kind of... myth within your family history?] - Karen

[Yes, I never would have risked Rose's life if I had known it would happen! Not after...] - Argent

[Okay I think we've heard enough. Judge Veronica? Judge Shade? What's your verdict?] - Karen

[Guity. Ow!] - Both

[Okay knock it off you three. Veronica and Karen I get but you too Shade?] - Malaise

[Sorry.] - All Three

After explaining ourselves to the tribunal (AKA Karen, Veronica and Shade) with reluctant help from Annabelle we finally succeeded in convincing the three of them that nothing untowards had happened behind closed doors. Of course, with Argent blushing crimson the entire time once she was brought up to date with what exactly she was being accused of.

The result? Yeah, it was a unanimous guilty verdict. No mercy at all from the judges.

At least until a certain foxgirl interrupted their fun by throwing the book at them, literally. I knew they hadn't learned their lesson though from the way their faces barely managed to conceal their smirks.

[Phew... I'm not sure how you got... THAT idea from what I said though, we're waaaaay too young for that anyway.] - Rose

[I beg to differ! OW!] - Veronica and Karen

[Ahem, moving on! You said something about this Trial possibly having something to do with the tattoo?] - Malaise

[W-Well it was just a thought. I figured it was the only thing we really did differently recently outside of the whole "meeting a god" thing. Seemed the most likely.] - Rose

Interrupting cow! The constant needling by our two resident perverts brought to mind an old knock knock joke from elementary school in my previous life. Nearly 40 years, by Earth count, had passed since then so my memory of it was getting a bit fuzzy but the two's energetic perversion reminded me of it for some reason. Luckily, we also had a pervert punisher present. She didn't wear all black though. ²Reference to the Punisher comic book character.

[Honestly, I'm inclined to agree. The tattoo has a look that suggests, at least superficially, that it is related to you in some way. The way the Dragon is being entwined in roses seems to almost scream that you had something to do with it. Although the question then becomes whether it was a one-off thing or-] - Malaise

[ME FIRST! I WANT ROSE ON MY BODY! MY BODY IS READY DAMMIT!!!] - Karen

[Get in line! Plus, you're slime you can't get tattoos regardless!] - Veronica

[...me too?] - Shade

[I urgently request to renew my pledge to follow you Young Miss.] - Annabelle

[-if you can do it more than once... dammit.] - Malaise

The rare instance of a swear leaving the nerdy foxgirl's lips served to perfectly illustrate exactly how rational people would react to hearing about a magical tattoo and, how differently my new friends considered it. Although Shade's reaction was a bit surprising considering...