Chapter 1: Three’s Company
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“What do you mean, you didn’t like it?”

“I’m just saying it’s derivative, Mal. The protagonist is your typical fare, it probably owes royalties to Tolkien, and the actress got none of the important stuff across.” Mal rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but agree. Most of the book was internal dialogue, and the actress who was cast got none of the character’s energy across. But he’d enjoyed the story for what it was, and there was always a place for more fantasy. Besides, the studio had done a good job of keeping the diversity in the original cast alive, even if the queer stuff had gone from explicit to implicit. He got why Ellis was so annoyed, though. 

The polyamory in the original story had been cut out, and Ellis and his partner had been proudly poly for a few years now. Mal suspected that this was a bigger issue than what he’d mentioned. “Don’t worry,” Malcolm said, and nudged his friend playfully, “you’ll get your cute gay triads some other way.”

“I better,” Ellis grumbled. He was about to cross the road and Mal had to grab him by the arm to keep his absent-minded friend from walking into traffic. Ellis didn’t even realize what had happened for a moment, looking down at Malcolm’s hand, stupefied, and then straight into Mal’s eyes. 

“You gotta learn to be careful, Ellis,” Mal said with a grin. “Tee would never forgive me if I brought you home in pieces. Especially since I’m not in the mood to scrape you off the asphalt.” Ellis looked at traffic, and then back at Mal, and laughed sheepishly.

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “Sorry! Guess I was just kinda distracted.” He paused, and Mal let go of his arm. “Uh…” he added, eloquently. “Thanks.” Mal grinned a little wider and gently bopped his forehead. 

“You’re welcome, dumbass. How’s Tee doing, by the way?” Mal waited for traffic to die down and then did the little not-quite-run across the street, Ellis close behind him. Ellis and Tee had been his friends for years, and some of his only ones at that. He’d briefly bunked with Ellis in college -- and there had been some complicated feelings -- but then Tee had appeared and the dynamic had shifted to something more easily manageable. His crush on Tee two years later had been his dirty little secret and he’d never brought it up with either of them. 

“Tee’s doing great, actually!” Ellis said enthusiastically. “They got into this new art program. Hope we’ll get some eyes on their newer stuff. There’s even, like, talk of a gallery.” Ellis’ enthusiasm was infectious. After college, Tee had pursued the arts degree Ellis had given up on, and he’d been happy to support them while they tried to get things off the ground. Tee had done some commission work, of course, but both of them would be happier -- and more comfortable -- if they were a dual-income household. Besides, Mal figured, Tee’s work was great. The issue wasn’t skill; ironically, it was exposure. 

Mal was about to congratulate them both, but he was interrupted by a high-pitched squeaking sound. They’d been walking past the road for a bit now, and the squeaking most definitely came from the middle of traffic. Mal and Ellis both froze and looked for the source of the unmistakable noise.

“Ah, fuck.”

There was a kitten, not even a month old, sitting on the center lane, squealing its little lungs out, obviously terrified. Even from where he was standing, Mal could see it was shaking on its little legs. There was no momma cat around that he could see, and the motorists did not seem to be able -- or willing -- to spot the little scared ball of fluff in the middle of the road. 

“Mal…” Ellis said, but he was obviously too late. Without looking back, Mal ran into the road. Sure, it was in the middle of the afternoon, and sure, this was a busy, uninterrupted stretch of road, but a kitten was a kitten and if Mal had to go, going out saving a kitten was worth it. Probably. 

He let the first car slip past him without issue, and sidestepped the next as he heard Ellis follow him, swearing loudly every step of the way. Angry horns were going off all around him, but people were too scared, traffic was too fast, for people to slow down. Fine. Fair. That would mean he could at least anticipate movements. Or something. Maybe. The kitten was only two lanes over. He jumped forward in between two cars and felt something graze his jacket. Best not to think about how he’d almost been down a kidney and a few ribs. Just one more lane to go. More honking. Ellis swearing in the next lane over.

He heard a tire screech but was already braced for the next jump. He just had to wait for a flatbed to drive past. It thundered next to him, and he felt the slipstream try to pull him in. But when it passed, the kitten was still there, screaming, so he made the jump, grabbed the little furball with one hand and turned the leap into a roll, hoping to make it to the median. He’d almost made it, too. He sat up, and realized he’d only spotted the truck when it was too late. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, got ready to throw the kitten onto the safety of the nearby grass. 

Time slowed down. It was easy to let go. He’d saved a small life, and he probably wouldn’t be missed. Much. Inhale. Exhale. And thr-- 

A hand grabbed him by the back of his collar and yanked him out of the way. The car’s bumper and tires rolled past only inches from his head. The angry honking followed the car all the way into the distance. He noticed there was still the matter of the squeaking noise in his hand. He looked at the kitten, which was dirty. Its fur was probably black-and-white, but right now it was just mostly greys and browns. He looked up at his saviour, and immediately regretted it.

“Ow,” Mal said, rubbing his now-painful jaw a moment later. He probably deserved that. Ellis looked furious, had tears in his eyes. 

“You suicidal fuck,” Ellis half-yelled at him, and then pulled him up on his feet and into a hug. “How dare you?” They stood like that for a bit, until Mal coughed uncomfortably. Ellis had always been a lot more touchy-feely than Mal. Finally, Ellis let go.

“Kitten,” Mal said, and offered it like a tribute to Ellis, who was coming to the realization that it was, indeed, very difficult to be angry while looking at, holding and/or petting something small and hungry. Ellis retrieved an off-brand beef jerky from his backpack and handed it to Mal. Tearing it into small pieces, Mal fed the little tyke, who was more than happy with the offering. It got about halfway through the sausage before mewling quietly and dozing off. Mal kept softly petting it.

“I’m not going to let you get away with this,” Ellis said, and sniffed indignantly. Traffic was beginning to slow down and they safely made their way across the road. “What are you going to do with the cat?” Mal appreciated the attempt at changing the subject. The kitten was snoring every so softly and Mal wasn’t in the mood to get chided again. He shrugged and put the little thing in his jacket pocket.

“Keep it safe. Find it a home. You two aren’t looking for a cat, are you?” Ellis shook his head and took a deep breath. He was still flush from the ‘excitement’ earlier, and Mal felt a little guilty for putting his friend through that. 

“No, we have enough trouble keeping you alive, apparently.” Ouch.

“I deserved that,” Mal said sheepishly. 

“You did.”

They walked in silence for a big chunk of the way. Mal knew he’d upset Ellis, but there wasn’t much to do about that right now. He’d never really valued his own life much, and he knew people worried about him. The world was a dreary place that didn’t seem to have a lot in it for him, and he didn’t have much to offer in return. Even his reflection was a disappointment. He’d seemingly been built from the ground up for long distance marathon TV-binges, with the occasional hundred-yard-dash-of-alcoholism. He’d resisted both, but his body had a natural propensity for building up fat, body hair and odour that meant he felt he spent half his time in the shower, and the other half eating healthy and exercising to maintain a physique just north of ‘A Little Extra’ on dating apps. 

So he stayed alive, sometimes out of spite, sometimes because it was just easier than the alternative. Except this time. But, like, come on. There had been a kitten. Nobody could blame him for that. Except Ellis could, and by rights, did. Thoughts mulling through his head, he put his hands in his pockets and found himself bumping into a curled up ball of purr, which he made sure not to disturb too much while simultaneously trying to pet fluff. It was soothing. He barely noticed when they arrived at Ellis’ place.

“He did what?

“Yeah!”

Uh oh.

Tee descended on him like an avalanche, which was impressive considering he was at least a foot taller than they were. But Tee was ordinarily a reserved person with a heart of gold, all frog stickers and labeled socks, so it was all the more upsetting to see them come at him. He wasn’t going to stop them, though. They had every right to be bothered, and Mal braced himself as their combat boots thudded through the hall. The second time that afternoon, he caught a slap to the face. 

“Kitten,” he protested, and retrieved the small furball from his pocket like a protective charm. The internal struggle on Tee’s face was, all things considered, fantastic. They were clearly furious, but Mal knew they were weak to the tiny and fluffy. 

“Kitten!” they finally said, giving in. They took the tiny cat in their hand and then punched Mal in the arm. “Still not okay. What’s its name?” 

“Dunno,” Mal said, rubbing his upper arm. “If I name it, I’m not going to be able to let it go.” Another punch to the arm. “Ow! Why?!”

“You better name it,” Tee said, glowering at him while holding the still-sleeping kitten. “You nearly died for it, you name it, you take responsibility.” They handed it back to him. “Kitten,” they added for emphasis.

“Kitten,” Mal agreed with a sigh. The little creature did the “mrrr?” sound and Mal felt his heart make a similar noise, and he knew he was fucked. “I’ll think about it. No promises,” he lied. “How are you, Tee?”

“I’m fine,” Tee said with a final glare. “C’mon, food’s ready.” 

Malcolm followed them into the living room, small kitten in hand, where food was set up on the small table in front of the sofa. He’d been here plenty of times. Ellis and Tee’s small apartment had been a refuge through a lot of bad times. He’d slept through a lot of hangovers on that couch. A lot of crying. They’d both been good to him, and he wondered if he’d ever stop feeling like a burden. 

He sat down and Ellis gave him a glass of wine and another whack to the head. They’d both given up the pretense of liking beer after college, and Mal nodded gratefully, putting the cat down on a blanket next to him. It squeaked in its sleep. 

“Yeah,” Ellis said, sitting down in an armchair opposite him. “That’s your cat now.”

“Hmm?”

“The look on your face. It’s adorable.”

“Fuck off.”

“It’s my house, you fuck off.”

“It’s a little bit my house too, let’s be honest,” Mal joked. 

“Yeah,” Ellis said with a little smirk, “it is.” Mal was about to say something about the strange expression on Ellis’ face when Tee walked in with dinner, and he focused on more important things, like mashed potatoes, okay-ish movie adaptations and good company.

Thank you for reading this first chapter (don't worry, there will be more today!) and I hope you'll stick around for the rest! 

There are 30 chapters already up on my patreon. Subscribers will get access to every single chapter right now. Other than that, I will be posting a chapter (maybe even too) every other day. If you're in the mood to catch up on my other stories, feel free to check them out. Additionally, Horns in the Library 1 is now available as an ebook

I also want to point people at the discord server of the ever-prolific QuietValerie (right here) where you can find her wonderful stories, like Ryn of Avonside, Falling Over and The Trouble With Horns, as well as other authors' works, and talk about them with fellow fans, and even the authors themselves! I heartily recommend joining it and reading their works! (Also check out Walls of Anamoor. It's rad as heck.) 

Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you all in the next one. 

<3

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