7: Dress to Impress
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"Loved by the night?" I perk up at the name, trying to recall where I'd heard it before. We're walking away from our car and towards the mall. We had parked a bit of a ways away, so it was a short three-minute walk to make our way into the mall. 

"Yeah! 'Loved by the night' is coming out next weekend and I'm excited for it." Ela explains excitedly. The name clicks in my head as she says that; it was the name of a romance movie that was coming out. I was only vaguely familiar with the movies that were coming out, so while the name was familiar, I didn't remember the story at all.

I tilt my head at her questioningly, "what's it about?"

"It's a sapphic romance movie! About a Knight who falls in love with a witch she's supposed to be hunting. It was a pretty popular book and I'm really nervous about whether it will be good…"

"Sapphic?" I'd heard that word before, but I wasn't too sure what it meant.

It surprised me to hear mom be the one to answer as she explained. "Pertaining to lesbians." It seems that Ela hadn't been expecting the answer either, but she nods her head approvingly.

"Yeah, she's right." Ela looks thoughtful before turning back to me suddenly. "Wait, are you gay?"

"Wh-what?" I sputter, staggering a bit in my steps. "Am I? N-no, I like-" I began my normal denial of the question, my speech getting fast and panicked, before I paused. I stared into the middle distance, thoughts racing. Who did I like? 

We were just approaching the exit of the car park, rounding a corner that led to a proper entrance into the mall. There were several people around us suddenly, and I felt a little self-conscious about being seen. Ela got closer to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder comfortingly. I look over and see her shooting me a confident smile, a smile that eased my nerves a bit. I looked over at mom and she reached over to squeeze my hand gently.

Taking a deep breath, I steel my resolve and look up. I avoid the eyes of all the surrounding strangers, but I quickly notice that no one’s even looking in our direction. No one cares. I'm just a normal guy- a normal girl, with her family. It helps ease at least the most pressing of my social anxieties, allowing me to remember the question I'd just been thinking about.

Was I gay now?

Mom and Ela were quiet as we walked through the mall; I could see them monitoring me as I thought. I couldn't even pay attention to the crowds of people around us as Ela pushed and pulled, guiding me through them gently.

I lost myself in thought about the question, though. I'd only ever considered liking girls before. Liking guys would have only made the bullying worse. Dad never would have stood it, no matter how much I was sure Ela would have supported me. Now I was a girl though; had my thoughts changed? Did I still like girls? Could I like guys now? Did I even want to?

"Don't hurt yourself, sweetheart." I feel a gentle hand ruffling through my newly auburn hair, causing several strands to fall in front of my face. I use a hand to brush the strands out of my face and look up to my mother, her hand still resting on my head. "You've got plenty of time to figure that stuff out, okay? We don't need an answer right now." I nodded gently in response, looking back towards the ground. I see my outfit and my mood picks up once more. I was almost skipping by the time we finally arrived at the first store, but when we arrived, it stopped me in my tracks.

"Wh-wh-why do w-we have to go h-here first?" I stutter out, chills tingling down my spine as I shrink away. It was an underwear store; possibly the most nerve-wracking store to start our shopping trip at.

"Because underwear is the most important thing that we're picking up first. And you need your own bras before we go try on more clothes." Mom says decisively, walking into the store, waiting patiently for us to cross the threshold into the store. I look up at Ela nervously as she tries to guide me in.

"It'll be fine. You're a girl, you're meant to be here. Just repeat that to yourself, 'kay?" Ela says, whispering to me. My nod in response is quick and full of nervous tension.

"I'm a girl, a-and I'm meant to be h-here." I whisper the phrase under my breath between gulps of air. I continue to whisper the phrase to myself, consciously gaining control of my legs and stepping onto the differently colored tile that marked the border between the mall’s hallway and the shop. I go stiff once I'm on the other side, cringing inwardly in wait for reprimand. It's only once I notice Ela tapping my shoulder that I loosen up and look around quickly. No one was looking. Of course no one was looking.

"Ta-da. You took your first step in. Let's get some more before the day ends, yeah?" Ela chuckles, pushing my back gently from behind me. My legs continue functioning on their own as she and mom guide me around. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I fidget and wring the edge of my dress. If there was one thing I missed my hoodie for, it was for places to put my hands while I wasn't using them. It was one downside to being verbal again, I suppose.

Mom and Ela began looking through some underwear, and I got nervous. Thankfully, they seemed to get some really nice, plain, and unassuming pairs of panties. Mom held the pair out somewhat embarrassingly, a brief check to the size for sure. Worse, though, was when she had to ask to have me sized in the chest area.

A saleswoman offered to do the sizing, and I meekly followed her into a dressing room. She's holding a fabric tape measurer, wrapping the tape close to my body. She leans in close to pull the tape measure around behind me and to the front, and my breath hitches. My brain tries very hard to ignore how close she is, but I can tell my cheeks are getting red. A warm spreading flush reaches down towards my chest and I feel a strange tingling below my pelvis that I can't place. After a few seconds, I notice the heightening arousal and I gulp, trying to swallow the heat in my cheeks. She wraps the tape measure around my chest once more, this time over the full size of my breasts instead of just under it. As she finishes up the sizing, she gives me a little scrap of paper with my size scribbled on it. I can only nod as she leaves me in the dressing room.

Wow, okay, yeah, still into girls. Maybe more than ever before. May have to wait to find out on the guys, but glad I got that figured out a bit.

I return to Mom and Ela after a few seconds of looking in the mirror and attempting to cool down. I didn't want them to see me at full blush; I didn't really want to answer those kinds of questions right now. I hand Mom the scrap of paper, which she takes as permission to gather a few bras for me. Ela and I follow behind her, and I take the time to look around at a few of the articles myself, idly wringing the hem of the dress I'm wearing as I go. I was the one who had to wear them, I should get used to seeing them.

Eventually, she purchases a simple pair of panties and bra, ushering me into a dressing room to change into the underwear while she looks for more bras.

For only the second time that day, I'm alone with a mirror and my thoughts. I fidget with the bag in front of me, hesitant to retrieve the garments. Before, I had company and I couldn't spare any time looking at myself, but now… 

Gently, I pull my dress over my head, reaching behind me to unhook Ela's bra from myself. It was too big in the cups and only offered the most basic of support for me, but the one in the bag in front of me was going to fit. Not only that, but it was mine. The thought sent a strange buzz through my head. The pleasant kind of buzz, like I'd just taken a shot of straight dopamine.

I shimmy out of her underwear too; it fit better than the bra did, but it still wasn't mine. Completely naked in front of the mirror, I pause and stare at the mirror in stunned shock. Where I had averted my eyes before, I drank in my form greedily. The warm and electric attraction I felt from between my legs grew more intense as I saw my curves. I drew my hands against my sides, letting them slide down and feel myself. The soft feeling of my hands against my sides made me gasp and bite my tongue, I pulled my hands away quickly. Turning away from the mirror, I pull my underwear on quickly, ignoring the burning pleasure welling inside me.

Looking at myself like this was becoming dangerous, and I had to remind myself that I was in public. I can ogle myself at home later. And maybe do a little more exploring…

I shake my head, face going red once more. I don't linger inside the dressing room once I have all my clothes on, heading directly towards Ela. I stand next to her silently and she turns to look at me. After a moment of silence, I glance at her and see her looking at me with barely restrained amusement. Blush flaring, I sharpen my eyes as I look back down to the floor and mutter, "not a word from you."

She makes a zipper motion that I can barely see in my periphery. "My lips are sealed." Her tone barely contains chuckles as I try to bring my blush under control.

Mom approaches us, looking directly at me. "Oh, Dawn, there you are. Do they fit well?" Her question snaps me out of my thoughts as I recall that I hadn't been paying attention to whether the undergarments had fit. Pressing down my tumultuous emotions gently, I try to focus on the physical sensations. I raise my hands up and gently pull at the band of my bra. It was snug; whereas Ela's had felt big, it seemed to grasp and support my breasts firmly. I didn't focus too hard on the panties, but they held onto me in a smooth support I wasn't familiar with. I was used to the loose feeling of boxer briefs, and the clingy feeling of the panties were strange. It didn't feel bad though, just strange.

"They feel… Exhilarating." I let out wordlessly, losing myself in the sensation as I spun in my sundress. Mom let out a light chuckle at my antics, which snapped me out of my thoughts. I remembered where I was, once again grabbing at the edges of my dress.

"Well, if they fit fine, then I have some more that we can buy before we move to the next shop. Let me ring them up and then we can head out." I looked around the shop as she says that, remembering that I had feared this place before. I nod at her absently, still looking around. I really belonged here now, didn't I?

Ela and I guide ourselves to the exit while mom pays. We hang just inside the entryway, Ela looking idly around the counters as we wait for mom. Eventually, she approaches us, bag full of undergarments in hand, and we head towards the next store. Wordlessly, both Ela and Mom seem to know where we're heading, guiding me through the crowds directly towards their target destination. As I think on it, I realize how odd it is that they both know where we want to go without even so much as signing to each other.

"Why do you both know where we're headed? Did I miss some plan that was made?" I ask while glancing between the two of them.

"Oh, I guess we didn't really discuss it, did we?" Mom says in thought, not slowing her stride. "These are just the shops we stop at when we have our own girls’ days out."

Ela ruffles my hair as she speaks up, "You get to be in on the cool mother daughter bonding secrets." I don't move to fix my hair immediately, a little stunned. It really shouldn't be surprising, but I feel a happiness well in my stomach at the thought that they really see me as a girl. I look up towards mom and she seems lost in thought about something. I consider asking if something’s wrong, but we arrive at the next shop and she snaps out of whatever line of thinking she was stuck in.

I shake my head gently, trying to focus on the more positive things. Mom was probably just thinking about me and how we are gonna do things. Until tomorrow, I couldn't even hope to get some answers. For now, I think the best I can do is follow mom’s advice and try to keep calm.

With a smile, I allow Ela to drag me into the store and around to the various clothing racks. Both Mom and her pull outfits off the racks, showing them to me and holding them against my body to test their size. Occasionally I find my eye drawn to skirts, dresses, or other outfits and I have to force myself not to turn away from them. When mom catches me eyeing a particular dress, she pulls it off the rack, holding it in front of me so I can look at it full on.

I don't avert my eyes from the dress, looking it over. "Like it?" Mom says, smiling behind the dress. I reach out a hand to feel the dress, nodding gently. "Perfect, we'll add it to the pile." She says, placing it with the various other clothes she wanted me to try on. By the time I was ready to try on the clothes, we had a pretty decently sized pile of clothes I had to carry into the dressing room.

Every outfit I tried made my resolve a little more set in stone. I could slowly see myself more and more inside every outfit, and I even felt more at ease in my skin than ever. People were still difficult to exist around, but… I didn't hate being myself around them.

We left the clothes store carrying many more bags, but I felt a little lighter in the heart. A little fuller in the bladder though, I noticed, a little embarrassed.

"Um, mom. I gotta use the restroom." I say, tugging on her sleeve.

"I can take you." Ela offers quickly, but I shake my head.

"No, I think- er, I can do it. I just wanted you to wait for me, okay?" I say, giving my bags to Ela so she can hold them while waiting for me to come back.

"You're sure?" Mom asks gently. I nod affirmingly in response; I had to do this for myself. After the confidence boost that was buying clothes that felt nice, I had plenty of willpower to handle this. I felt good, and I wanted to show that I could handle myself. Mom just smiles and walks over to a bench seated by some plants sitting in the middle of the mall's long shopping corridor.

The halls are loud around me as I walk my way to the bathrooms. My pace is slow and steady as I maneuver my way through the clouds, careful to avoid running into anybody. As I grow nearer to the bathrooms, I can feel the familiar nervousness gnawing at my senses. My pace slows as I gently arrive in front of the bathrooms.

I linger for a couple of seconds outside, looking between the two bathrooms. My hands play with the sides of my sundress and I take some deep breaths, attempting to calm down as I force myself to walk stiffly into the women's bathroom. As I cross the threshold into the bathroom, I tense and shut my eyes. After a few seconds, I open my eyes, still messing with the sides of my dress nervously. Nothing happens.

I shuffle my way further into the bathroom and none of the women inside even look at me. Of course nothing was going to happen, I belonged here. I belong here.

A few minutes later and I was washing my hands, having bumbled through an admittedly embarrassing first use of my body's new biology. Washing my hands, I find myself out of the bathroom, feeling a little more refreshed than when I went in. So refreshed that I'm not looking where I'm going when I leave and run right into somebody. I fall to the ground easily, but the person I run into stands their ground, turning around. My blood runs cold as I see his face. 

"Hey there, sweetheart." His tone oozes smarm, and I realize that he doesn't recognize me. Standing with a group of his goons is the top dog of the school, Troy Bittern.

My mind flies with questions and thoughts. Shouldn't he be at school? What are the odds? I say nothing while I'm frozen in fear, Troy and his goons take the opportunity to step around me to get a better look. "You skipping school too, cutie? Need some friends to keep you company?" Troy's voice is saccharine sweet and chills me to my bones. I can feel my ability to speak seizing as I open my mouth. I struggled to find any words to say as Troy stuck his hand out to me to help me up. I stare at the offending appendage like it's going to bite me; in the silence of that moment, I can hear my heartbeat clearly.

"What are you three doing harassing this poor girl?" A fairly young sounding older woman speaks up from behind the boys where I can't see.

"We're not harassing her, we were just helping her up. She ran into Troy here." One of the other boys I didn't know the name of spoke up.

"Why don't you three scat. Leave the girl alone." She steps closer to the group of boys and they all turn to her.

"Who asked you, lady? Mind your own business." Troy spits dismissively.

"Troy Bittner," her voice cuts through Troy as I see him straighten. "Ian Brighton, Zachary Jareds-Blazos. You three are lucky I don't call the school up to report your truancy." She points between them confidently as she says the names. She knows their names? The three of them back off a little as she says that, looking between each other.

"Jeez, Lady, yikes. Fine, we'll go." The one she'd identified as Ian mutters, walking back into the main hallway. 

I can hear Zachary whispering loudly to the other two as they walk away, "who the fuck was she?" It's a question I have on my mind as I turn to her. She's tall and definitely looks young, maybe early twenties? She definitely didn't look like any teachers I would recognize, but she clearly knew the boys from school.

"You okay? Those boys didn't do anything, did they?" She asks, offering a hand to pull me up. I accept the hand much more readily, and I'm quickly hoisted up with surprising strength. Whoever she was, she worked out. She seemed to look me over as I smoothed out my dress. Pulling out her phone, she glances at it before turning her attention back to me.

"Uh, th-thanks." I stutter out, signing thanks just so I have something to do with my hands. She looks at my hands and nods, deep in thought.

"Are you in High School?" She asks abruptly, still regarding me as she asks it. I just nod awkwardly. Her eyes seem to light up at that before asking, "Wattford High?" I nod again, knowing full well that there weren't any other high schools in town. I gulped gently, hoping she wouldn’t call the school to report my truancy. "Thought I recognized you." She says casually. I blink at her owlishly, not daring to say a word as I try to process what she’s saying. She recognizes me? When she sees me looking, she giggles conspiratorially.

"I'm the school nurse at Wattford High. Well, one of them." She explains, not really explaining my confusion at all. "Don't worry, I won't report you truant. Couldn't really report those three truant either, seeing as I'm playing hookie myself, but they aren't the smartest." She laughs conspiratorially, earning a small chuckle from me. She seemed nice, definitely helped ease me away from the panic of before. "My name's Violet Weaver, though I guess you'd know me as Nurse Weaver." She says, holding her hand out to me once more. This time for a handshake, though. Tentatively, I shake her hand, briefly worried that her grip would hurt my hand as I remember her strength from earlier. She seems to restrain herself for the handshake though, keeping it loose and shaking softly.

"Err, Dawn." I reply cautiously. I don’t give her a last name because I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about school.

"Dawn. Pretty name! Nice to formally meet you. Watch where you're going, yeah? Those boys can be trouble. I'll see you around at school, Dawn. Try not to make truancy a regular thing, you hear!" Nurse Weaver spins on her foot, glancing at her phone once more as she walks away. I watch as she saunters her way out of the bathroom hallway and heads deeper into the mall.

I wasn't entirely certain what just happened, but she seemed nice at least. One fortuitous meeting could counteract the bad luck that had been running into Troy and his gang.

I make my way back to Mom and Ela, shaken, but recovering quickly. I would not let that bump in the road throw my day off track. I still have dinner with Ela's girlfriend and my family to enjoy later today. 

Aaaaaaand, late update here as well. Yesterday was taxing, but today is better. I definitely feel like I had some tense issues in this chapter that I don't think I managed to completely fix when I did my editing pass. Sorry if it sounds weird! I'll be keeping a closer eye on it in the future hopefully.

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