Consultation 132.2

“God, what’s wrong? Why did you suddenly start bleeding?”

“Why? Uh… that is…” too embarrassing to admit.

“It appears the situation isn’t as simple as I first thought. There is a very powerful being that seems intent on preventing what I was trying to do just now.” That wasn’t a lie, the power or write protection was overpowered. “I experienced a bit of backlash thanks to a counterattack by this unseen bad actor.”

“No way! You’re saying someone as powerful as God has done this to me?”

Thank god mortals were so easy.

“Yes, exactly that.”

“What am I supposed to do then? Will I be forced to live reincarnating like this for all of eternity?”

“Not necessarily, you just need to find a place in a world where you can’t be summoned from. Since you said this only ever happens when you go to sleep, all you need to do is go to bed there.”

“Where am I supposed to find somewhere as convenient as that?”

“It’s pretty easy actually, a dungeon while you are in combat.”

“... what?”

“I said, a dungeon while you’re in combat.”

“Can you please stop messing around? How does that even make sense? Something so simple can prevent me from being summoned by someone as strong as God? Please don’t get my hopes up like that.”

“I’m not kidding. It’s really that simple. You can’t be summoned to another world while you are in a dungeon mid combat.” 

“... even if that’s true, how would I remain in combat while asleep?”

“If you’re strong enough and take no damage from low-level dungeon slimes, all you need to do is sleep with one on you. It’ll try to continuously attack you, but it will fail to ever kill you. I dub it, Slime Therapy, a miracle cure for those who are tired of being summoned to another world every day.”

“Slime… Therapy? Doesn’t that seem like it would be a bit too lewd?”

“Not at all, you’ll be amazed by the wonders of Slime Therapy when you try it, I assure you of that. You will never have another sleepless night, you’ll be sleeping like a baby.”

“Why does it feel like I’m being sold a fake miracle cure from a sketchy door-to-door salesman?”

“I’m not selling anything though.”

“I had to pay for this consultation.”

“... don’t sweat the small details.”

“What was that pause? You’re scamming me, aren’t you?”

“I’m not.” I actually was, but she didn’t need to know that. As if such a stupid rule really existed. I couldn’t change her summonable attribute or modify her in any way for some reason, but I’d thought of a workaround. 

Just because she was write protected didn’t mean everything else was. Thus, I opened up the general dungeon registry values for the world she was currently in and created a new one altogether, explorers_summonable_while_in_combat. I set it to zero and called it a day. It should hopefully be enough to suppress her summonable registry value to zero. I couldn’t just make it so explorers couldn’t be summoned from dungeons altogether as that would cause too many problems. A change like that was too easily noticeable as well. But if it’s just during combat, it wouldn’t be too big a deal.

The solution was like slapping some duct tape on and hoping it stayed.

“You’re really sure this will work?”

“As long as you do exactly as I said it should work just fine.”

“But what if the slime… you know…”

“Relax, that sort of thing only happens in degenerate fantasies. You’ll be fine,” probably.

And thus, the legend of the weird lady who sleeps with slimes in another world was born. It wasn’t to have sex with slimes, but rather, to avoid continuously being summoned to another world. If sex came about as a byproduct, that had nothing to do with me. I’m just an innocent little God trying to diligently do God’s work.