Hi! Yes, it's me! SO! What is this all about? Well, as you can see from the Title, a few things that I need to clarify, things that are quite stupid and on, and so on. So, let me get started!
First of all, why am I posting this? Because of critique. No, I'm not crying, just, again, clarifying some things. What was the critique about? you might ask? Meh, quite, for me that is, strange?(yes, a question, cause I can't think of other word to use here)
So, first things, is grammar issues. If you go back to the first chapters, even AFTER I remade them, there are lots of grammar issues. And not gonna lie, there are a LOT of them. But that's where I make my question: Does that really make impossible for you to understand what is being conveyed? No? Then why stop reading the novel because of that? Just a reminder, since on RR I don't know where to put a note, and I don't want to put every single damn time, a note on the beginnings of the chapters:
"ENGLISH, IS NOT MY MOTHER LANGUAGE!"
Got it? I made mistakes as anyone else. As for things like too many commas, capitalize of some words, wrong words being put(such as was/were, wrong sentences, such as past/present/future), and on and so on.
"But your mistakes are a lot! And you don't fix them!"
I have a life where I need to do things, as any other human. So currently, I'm busy. Then, going to the typos that you find on the chapters. Saw something? Then comment or send a ticket to me, that is a good thing, because I might not notice if someone doesn't mention to me. I end up forgetting these things, alright?
Next issue: CLICHÉS.
Yes, I use them. Yes, I won't stop using them, and no, sometimes I don't know how to use them. The same for tropes as well. I'll use them, I'll not stop using them, and sometimes I don't know how to use them.
Like the cliché of being USELESS. When you read that on the first chapter, when the emperor said that, you probably asked yourself:
"Is this guy an idiot(Stupid, a fool, a dumbass)?"
And the answer is: YES, THE EMPEROR IS AN IDIOT. I would talk about it in a extra chapter the next week(and I will, but I'll mention it here, whatever).
The Emperor, and the people around him, Ayduin, the Colonel, and other people ON THE EMPIRE, considers technology too hard, and not as impressive/versatile/powerful as MAGIC. What did you expect from a fantasy world? It helps in lots of things, such as cleaning the room, which people on the empire have, like, vacuum cleaners powered by mana, and all of those things we have as well. Just that the EMPEROR, consider technology to be useless. And another little point, that some people might not have noticed: Kenji/MC, knows that the EMPEROR, is fishy, since he noticed on his first encounter with him. AND, FOR GODS SAKE! The Useless thing, was applied to MC, for moving the plot, and other details. So, let me summarize them here:
1 - Kenji has a STATUS CONDITION, which makes him evolve really slow.
2 - Technology for the EMPEROR is USELESS.
3 - MC noticed that the EMPEROR just summoned them for his own selfish reasons, and that lots of people already talked to him that the EMPEROR is hated, AND THE CHAPTER: Thoughts of a Primordial Spirit mentioned that as well.
4 - I hate the trope: "Summoned to another world, stay IN the fucking castle until notices something fishy, then goes out, and is called a traitor/criminal/heretic". I. HATE. IT.
And that's it! Now! The last and most important thing! THE MC/KENJI'S UNIQUE SKILL!
YES. I KNOW THAT THE SKILL IS SUPER FUCKING OP! AND YES! I KNOW THAT I'M NOT USING THE MAGIC PART OF THE SKILL! AND THAT'S ON PURPOSE!
Okay, no joke now. Yes, guys, the skill is super OP. In fact, it's too OP for a fantasy world. Mixing Magic and Technology in one? Damn! That's no joke!
Anyway, then that begs another question:
"Then why it isn't OP?"
Uh... Plot? Yes, I know that a super, duper, mega powerful MC is nice and all to read, but if all gets resolved by said MC appearing and using a powerful skill to eliminate the threat and yada, yada, yada, that's too shallow. Also, I'm bad at balancing charts, you probably noticed that by now, no?
The reason why I'm not making his skill super OP, is once again, another trope that I despise/hate: Transported to another world = Knowing how to use magic from the ass.
Yes, I used that here. But, had you asked yourself: Is it just that? No, it is not. There are some things that I'll explain now, that will be on a future chapter. Just like science, magic does have theory as well. You can use magic without the theory, else no one would ever be able to use magic, but it won't be AS powerful as someone that uses magic, knowing the theory.
Let's get back on track, seeing the recent chapters, where I mentioned the 'Draconic Energy' and 'Vampiric Energy'.
Both were put as basically as "powered up version of usual mana". Not gonna lie, the day I wrote that, I just left as is, but after revising, I thought: What if that is the knowledge of a layman? And that will be explained more ahead, both on the next arc, and a future arc.
Now another question: Does that mean that Kenji/MC is using magic, without the full potential of it? Yes, he is. Even Kasumi, Amara, and Lucy are. Hell, even the EMPEROR uses magic without the theory, only thinking: If it's powerful, it's good.
And another thing. If you take a look at the website, Superpower Wiki, and check for Technomagic, you'll see, and confirm even further, that the EMPEROR is a fool for consider MC as USELESS. If he ever knows about the last Sub-Skill of Technomagic Medium, he would make Kenji his slave. ANOTHER POINT WHY THE USELESS STUFF ON THE FIRST CHAPTER!
Those are some things that I wanted to convey to you guys. Both on SH, and RR. Again:
• Noticed some Grammar issues? Notify me by a ticket or comment.
• Thought that I'm using too much tropes/clichés? Talk to me, and give me some advice.
• The MC isn't reaching the full potential of his skill? Take a look at the Superpower Wiki for what he WILL DO in the future, and consider the plot that might happen(create your theory too! And when the chapters come out, do comment what you thought it would happen!)
So, that's it people! Hope you understand. If you still have some problems, and decides to drop the novel, feel free to do so! I can't please everyone's tastes, unfortunately.
See you guys next week!
@luukinhas90 will you keep the emperor in the dark about mc potential of Technomagic (i mean he could find an old book in the castle library/ his elf friend (i think) could stumble on it and find out how op Technomagic really is)? and will mc ever use his ANY of the skills in the Superpower Wiki or not (considering how op they are)?
Actually the next chapter, which is a interlude, will have both Ayduin and the Colonel talking about his skill and how good he got.
As for the sub skills he has, according to superpower wiki, and what I mentioned at this chapter, yes, buy just after he learns about magic. But he will also think about magic as well.
Don't worry too much about grammer. Most native speakers suck too and your story is more than reasonably legible. Most people who read here are used to both professionally edited books and poorly translated imports. We help because we know how poor syntax can obfuscate meaning and know instinctively if something is wrong and how to fix it even if we don't know the actual rules broken.
Tbh, i like Kenji as an MC more than many other isekai protags. He reminds me of Hajime from Arifureta
Hmmmmm bet there a tech mana
I'm waiting for the next arc with impatiens
That's fine bud. I was only giving some constructive criticism. Honestly for the most part the story has been good. Aside from the occasional misspell or grammar error, I have liked it. Keep up the good work dude!
Thanks! And I love seeing someone giving constructive criticism! And even more when people point it out: hey, miss grammar here, can you fix it? That makes me happy, seeing people helping making the novel better! Thank you!
And that's it! Now! The last and most important thing! THE MC/KENJI'S UNIQUE SKILL!
YES. I KNOW THAT THE SKILL IS SUPER f*ckING OP! AND YES! I KNOW THAT I'M NOT USING THE MAGIC PART OF THE SKILL! AND THAT'S ON PURPOSE!
:eyes: totally isn't directed at me, right? Lmao.
Warning: Wall of text below.
Anyways, this note was pretty useful to me. I understand what you meant, for pretty much everything, and I feel bad that people are dropping this novel just cause of some stupid petty sh*t like the grammar. I've seen novels that are hundreds of times worse than this lol. I also get the magic part, and it makes a lot of sense. My rants on how powerful his magic/skills are was less of me just asking for you to make him OP super fast right off the bat, and more just me saying ideas that I had just though about. I had played fantasy-themed roleplaying games(both tabletop RPGs and just straight up roleplay over discord and such), and Magic RP was one of my strong suits so I tend to get spontaneous ideas and just write them down in the comments. Though I won't lie that it did take me this "chapter" for me to get my mind to work right and realize why Kenji hasn't used his magic, and based on your reply to some of my previous comments where you mentioned the next arc or whatever, it makes a hell of a lot of sense. Guess I'm just getting rusty, my brain doesn't work like it used to since I didn't realize sooner. Well, sorry for this f*cking wall of text, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be sticking around with this novel until it finishes, unless some unavoidable accident happens that makes it impossible to read ever again. I personally love the story, and there's a sh*t ton of potential in both the story itself, and the powers of the MC that I just can't wait to be realized. This is one of the few novels I'm reading where I'm always excited for the next chapter, so keep up the good work or else I'll have to start up my Author-napping company again.
Again, sorry for the wall of text lmao.
It wasn't meant for you, no XD. And the wall of text I appreciates it. Its more of a ticket I received from someone else actually, and some of your ideas makes me change a few things too! So I love seeing people like you, who gives a good feedback, and thanks too, for the words and for seeing and answering on this announcement!
I'll try to keep coming up with ideas then. Technomagic has always been what I considered one of the most versatile magics, as long as there are materials for it. Of course, by my definition, all magic is incredibly OP if used properly, people are just too stupid to realize it. Technomagic tends to make people that use it in their writing and such realize that, since using technology with magic also means they think about general science and magic. And that's where magics potential comes into play. Think about any of the four basic elements, then think about someone with complete and utter dominance and manipulation of it. Then think about the different things they could do to a human body with just one of those elements. I'm sure that'll make you think about things differently if you haven't already thought of it.
@DarkeReises nice! One thing I had made, was MC acquire Fire, Wind and Lighting manipulation, but he just has the skill, not the ability to do so, so much so, that he uses the gauntlets with the elemental affinity to use them.
@luukinhas90 Lightning is such a bullsh*t magic if used properly. Although most magic lore would have ways against it, such as influence domains affected by people's mana pool(essentially what stops people from casting magic inside people's bodies, so really only buffs and debuffs/curses can directly influence a person's body, and curses need entire rituals just to affect one person so it's kinda balanced), but lightning magic can just use a person's bioelectrical signals to control them, or simply fry their brain. It's just great. Great, but total bullsh*t lmao.
@DarkeReises that, we both agree XD
you know what they say, great minds think alike
