Prologue
183 6 23
X
Reading Options
Font Size
A- 15px A+
Width
Reset
X
Table of Contents
Loading... please wait.

The thought of an endless dream was like heaven feels, but never taking hold of it is a foolish nightmare.

         To every people who fed themselves with some pointless desire to dream, it wasn't a surprise for them to receive an outright predictable outcome such as defeat and losses. A dream is like a part of your mouth, and if you keep saying words with a hint of uncertainty in them, then you'll never be confident enough to go forward. 

         Albeit, I don’t mind haughty people—as long as they don’t bark in the wrong tree.

         However, there is no solution to stop dreaming of an outcome. It’s more of the cause of anxiety or overconfidence. You become more dragged into the imaginary world you imagined and avert your eyes to the probability of failure as they chase them. 

         They do say that the sky is the limit, but that’s why the possibility of trying to reach something most of the time leads to failure. 

         People are afraid to take the step toward their future when it is uncertain. In such cases, trying to reach the sky is somewhat uncertain… it is technologically possible, but other than that, it is absurd… or ignorant rather.

         Still, if anyone wants to be aware of the outcome that their dreams will bring—then they should try reaching something while they are still a kid because if they pursue a dream that’s above the sky, then they might fall down the hard road.

         Even if those who dream know all-too-well about the outcome, if they don't take action for their dreams, then they'll never become a rational person—foolish, they are. But I, included in those reasonable people, also wants to dream of pity success. 

         With millions of imaginations and dreams running rampant in my thoughts, it created an outcome of a foolish cocky mistake. Where instead of taking the right action in the present, I went on barking… thinking of things that could happen in the future. 

         From there, I never progressed from reaching the top.

         Misunderstandings, and lacking the information to improve or remove my flaws, are crucial to destroy the chances of failure. 

         I may not be a robot or someone perfect but that’s why I strive to be what I can’t. That’s just what it means when they say that the sky is the limit.

         But as long as people are aware of their limits, then they are capable of outsmarting failure.

         And as a human, it didn't matter to me whether I was being deluded by my own imagination. It also didn't matter to me that I held on to this tasteless victory in my head. I was just too focused on the taste of the deluding accomplishment as if it was mine.

         For once, I dreamt of a world, an explicit bizarre place. 

         It was a two-floor building with some high school students outside having a friendly chatter. These and those were all presented before me without the urge to ask how-and-why do they exist here. As their conversation went on, the smiles and chortles heighten, but processing what was entertaining was puzzling. I jerked my head, perplexed, and decided to walk on a diagonal path where the high school building was built and out of nowhere like an earthquake. I fell and tumbled, unable to control my body, and woke up.

         Thinking about it. I just get the urge to feel like making friends. 

         It was maybe impossible… or maybe not. 

         Isn’t it fun to have friends, I wonder?

         I think so because friends are someone I can relate to and understand, even if it’s just the surface. I feel like the two of us are on equal terms and share the same shame and happiness. It’s like I can only show my real side to that person.

         …Or so from what I’ve gathered so far.

         But on the other hand, I was hesitant to accept my answer as somewhat concrete. Maybe because I've never had a friend before to entertain me through the different aspects of the world, should it be the seven wonders of this world or the lore of the mighty drachenlord. I have never had a shred of them in my middle school. 

         So I wondered to myself, if I did have one and we talked to each other with smiles on our faces, then doesn't that sound like a dream come true on my part?

         Obviously.

         Besides, it's not like friends are locked in a paywall or they are locked until you reach a certain level. Finding friends, and creating friends; don't sound like an extreme task that every person would deal with. It’s just that most people these days feel complicated. 

         You only realize strangers as friends when you start spending some of the time together.

         It then came to me as to why I was dreaming of such a dream worthy of leading me to the path of depression. So I'll reveal what I had learned from my 'fiction,' the solution to my ques that lingered after I woke up walking straight to the diner room. From one word, I'll say it from my right cerebrum to my left.

         Why have I dreamt of such a scenario of myself being left alone, looking at those youths laughing and smiling?

         It was because I was 'lost.'

         In retrospect, I didn't dream of such a scenario, and it wasn't in my mind to feel the need for friends. I've never been forced to look for one either that I complicated it from the inside. I was just lost in thoughts of millions and thousands of studies that my dreams went randomly rampant.

         Or maybe I was lost from the reasons that I can't move forward by just being alone. Still, while I may admit it—I know I wouldn’t be able to change anything by saying that I am still trying to find one or some sort.

         Albeit, with all of those out of my way, I just want to say that I'd rather not deal with something depressing because rotating the topic with friends makes my life even more painful. And even if I would, it would be the day that I have entirely failed to create one.

         Which would be when I finally graduated high school.

         Anyway…

         How did I even go into talking about friends when I was talking about dreams in the first place?

         Do I really want friends that bad?

         That might be the case, but that doesn't mean I can't talk like an intellectual person that sounds like I have experienced having a friend. Many people nowadays do that and can still get away with it without ever being doubted.

         The benefit of the doubt, they say, but I don't even know where to start.

         Although, I believe that friends shouldn't be worth it for me because I know I won't be able to make one anyway.

         What very introverted-like thoughts, such as the retrospect of a fool, are full of failures worth looking back to.

         Ceasing the thoughts, I've begun to wonder what was the cause of this intrapersonal talk. It interests me, and even though I've been quiet in my chair after walking from home to high school, I felt like I had been missing one thing. Likely, my thoughts went into the when-and-where of the cause of my thoughts.

         Think about it.

         Most people always doubt themselves. We don't trust our ability to become someone better or confidently believe in ourselves. Sometimes, the sights of crowds directed at us are easy enough to push us from the brink of anxiety. Because of that, we try to deny the talent within us and continue living just to show those skills in ourselves alone.

         But when we finally make up the courage to move forward, embracing those struggles to become better, we then look back in the past to see the laughable person we are. Believing in ourselves instead of doubting was the most straightforward action we have done to get this far.

         My point is that instead of complaining and bragging about why we are ordinary people doing ordinary activities like some protagonist. We should point ourselves to heightening the amusement of our dreams, leisure, and achievement because that’s the purpose of passion and youth. Even then, if we don't really mean to do that kind of thing. If we just want to brag about our ordinary life, then it’ll stay ordinary for the rest of our life. 

         …Not again. I am out of script again. 

         I did somehow find the answer while I was thinking about something else so it all worked out in the end.

         For now, let's look back in the past while the teacher continues to explain some otherworldy lessons nonplus to those who aren't the chosen ones. Otherwise, there will be no room for pointless flashbacks.

23