I’ve always been an abased societal person—and I’ve always been a nihilistic person. Unlike those who share values about friends, justice, and positivity, I—however, have no essential recognition of what’s valuable. But that’s why I always think and look at everything in an equal manner—because I don’t know a thing about everything, and everything should be respected because of what it is. It is the same as having some first impression—that you shouldn’t make up opinions at a valid date after only glancing once. It is a very expired thing to do.
However, I am devout of believing in nothing—even I don’t believe in life after death or how in 365 days, Santa Claus will bathe us with his presence. Although I do think that what I have thought so far—said so far, have amounted to nothing. Think about it. If a bunch of words I have said in my mind actually contributed to society these days, then I wouldn’t have been rejected.
Still, as a centrist, I could say that life actually has one meaning—rather than outright nothing because the meaning of life resides only to ourselves and not to some. Picking one answer that we have made, rather than to choose someone else’s choice or to choose many things. It’s a very indecisive action, you see. And while we only have one life, we only have one try to do our best to create something rather than live without having anything accomplished.
Nevertheless, it’s not easy to accomplish anything these days as everyone tends to complicate their own situation. Where instead of learning their mistake so that they can try again, they give up immediately and depressingly say it’s hopeless. I must say that nihilistic people are better than those saccharine and jocular people living in society. They don’t expect anything, and for that reason that they don’t have anything to lose when trying something. Although I am not saying that nihilistic people are better than charismatic and gregarious people. Even I tend to complicate different matters inside my head. And well, I do think and look at everything in an equal manner—after all.
“Malcolm?” A familiar voice could be perceived.
I stopped my bicycle with the recoil of its brakes and looked at who I just passed through. After seeing his face, I became somewhat nostalgic with the word fate—because I don’t deem myself a fool to be fated. “Oh—Harley, what a coincidence.”
We live in a strange world, don’t we?
I then decided to walk with Harley while pushing my bicycle—not because I had some important business with him but because I just wanted to talk to a friend. Albeit, I sometimes become a passive person because of my attitude.
Still, it’s better to heighten my communication skills by talking to someone else.
“I was actually walking around to look at the great scenery. Well, isn’t it great? Ashore near the city—I’d want to soak myself in there sometimes.”
I was about to respond, ‘I know, but who actually asked?’ but it wasn’t in my nature to interject in such a rude manner—it was just in my mind. However, it might actually be an excellent response to those who piss me off.
“You’ve never been there before?” I asked. “Why don’t we enter and soak our hands? Just looking at it like it's some common display won’t get you anywhere.”
“Ah—I-I actually hate the seawater.” He hesitatingly said.
What an ignorant wimp.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen a person who dislikes seawater—and it’s seawater of all else you must hate. Is it because he drowned from the seawater, or is it because it got into his eyes? I don’t know about that. All I can say is that if he hates seawater, then he probably doesn’t want to talk about what happened.
“Then we can’t do anything about it.”
“You aren’t going to ask?”
“Well—I thought that you wouldn’t want to talk about it. Instead, I’d rather know why you hate seawater but love the shore. It’s mysteriously puzzling.”
“Ah, um… I guess you could say that I ain’t getting out of the sea yet.” He said. “The sea is dazzling—it’s dragging you in innocently, and after you reach it, you then realize that you’ll never get back to where you were. Even if you were to escape—with all your everything lost, you still wouldn’t be able to forget the sea.”
Like a trap, the sea endlessly moves in a different direction and invites those charmed by such scenery. Still, once you carelessly enter, you will be dragged—where you’ll come in some god-knows place, you can’t get out. It would either be heaven or hell, but I wouldn’t dare enter both of those.
Albeit, from such a wimpy dumbass, it’s laudable to see him walking straight with all fours and is trying to move forward. If it were me, I would have killed myself without a second thought. Ah—I don’t know why I feel dejected for some reason. Maybe it’s because he is somehow more-willed than me.
There is nothing I can do about that—instead, I should give him my thoughts.
“You’ve been through a lot, I’d say that—and because of that, I could say that you really are somewhat strong. Harley, you and I are different. I just want you to know that if you are troubled with something, you can’t do. Then don’t forget to ask me to help.” I sent him the side of my clutched arm in her heart as I said my words.
I am your friend, after all.
“T-Thanks, Malcolm. It’s nice to see a friend like you supporting me.” He averts his eyes at me, embarrassed.
Well, is that so? I think that I am just trying to let you know that someone is willing to share your sadness and happiness somewhere around the globe. I may not have lost my everything—nor my dreams, but I could assure you that I processed the same suffering you did. Although the difference between us is that you are running directly to your problem while I am running away.
“Anyway, I hate to break it to you, but I am actually a busy person. And I still have my part-time job this Sunday.” I rode my bicycle and immediately pedaled in a straight direction—leaving Harley alone in the sideway road, waving.
“Later again!” He waved back.
To be honest, I decided to leave immediately to erase the awkwardness that will happen if we continue walking together. I can’t stand those kinds of uneasy vibe after you’ve done something cool—it feels like we just fought over something.
I decided to go along with my pretext and ended up working in my little part-time gig as a clerk in a café. I just couldn’t really flat-out call a day off when that’s the only place I am working. It’s even more surprising that they took me in.
“You actually came in this early hour!” The manager with crossed-arms, waiting for me, had finally rejoiced from seeing me. She grabbed both my shoulders, which made me bothered.
“Is there any problem…?” I asked, perplexed.
Besides any commotions, cold-shouldered, and any infrastructure unwelcoming—and also loan sharks. I haven’t seen anything like that to the hints of the manager’s dubious blithe. Is one of her family ill? Or has there been any problems I wasn’t aware of?
By the way… why do I feel like I am the one who has to take of those problems?
“Oh yes—now that you’ve said it, there is this problem. Seriously, I thought I had to close the café, but then you appeared. To be saved… I am such a lucky person.”
Uh… and I am supposed to be the unfortunate?
Well, this was probably my fault for coming in here so early—just because of the pretext I made to erase the awkwardness. I might as well have endured that awkwardness than to fully chock part-time jobs. I guess I can’t do anything about it but work better, so I’ll get double the paycheck.
“Stop pulling and pushing my shirt—just tell me what is really going on?”
“Y-You see… um… this is really embarrassing, but I’ll say it anyway. I actually love cospla—”
“Alright. I’ve heard enough. You are free to go now.” I hold my forehead with my palm, trying to force myself that I don’t have the least idea of what she was going to say.
She fervently collected her necessary accessories and moved her eyes left-to-right to see if there is nothing to take. After that, she went to open the door glass to leave with a shout of appreciation, “I owe you one!”
I didn’t want to hear that—nor do I even want to know a twenty-one-year old’s fetish. If the manager could please, stay aware to all and actually not embarrass me. Still, did she seriously reach your puberty phase? I mean, she should have, had you? How would I know that? Oh well, I better suck it all up and act as the temporary owner of this café.
Oh—I forgot to ask if I am the only one who could help her in this situation, but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. After another minute, this place will be flooded with many people, and other part-time workers will be present. So I should muster up my strength and start by doing different roles to help others.
I guess an all-rounder has it harsh, too, in this day and age.
As a waiter, I tried to fight the glares' anxiety to not make any mistake from holding the trays. It was very embarrassing and exhausting work for me, but it’s the right way of removing my insecurities.
“Help! Help! I need an ambulance.” A random stranger shouted with fear out-of-nowhere, baffling me in the process.
“What?!” I rushed immediately to the stranger.
“But not for me!” The stranger responded at me—with a sinister face. Still, that must have been her face of worry, but it was a little distorted.
I reflexively did a defensive stance because of the thought of immediate danger. Albeit, I seemed to have misunderstood the situation, so I dropped my nonchalant defense posture and walked towards the stranger.
It seems that the stranger’s child had been struck by a small broken glass—in which I don’t know how-and-where. It literally wasn’t her. “Oh—it’s just a small wound. Let me take care of it for you.”
“Thank you very much, young sir.”
I went into the staff room and brought a toenail clipper (because that’s the only thing I could think of) to remove the small broken glass stuck in the child's leg. Then a disinfectant and some light bandages. After I finished, I was thanked again and rewarded, but I modestly refused it.
“Malcolm, someone got stabbed in the kitchen!”
You don’t mean, ‘the kitchen needs some assistant,’ don’t you? Well, correct me if you will, or we will shut down immediately. Also, don’t shout that out loud. Now the other people are confused and worried.
“I am coming.”
With only little cooks in the kitchen, I assisted them and cooked and served with my own style. It wasn’t really tedious. Instead, it was entertaining, although carefully preparing the food gave me the slightest troubles.
“We are losing grounds! Someone help in the counter!”
And lastly, I tried becoming the counter server.
Somewhere along the line of my work, I feel that something is wrong with this café that I am working.
“May I take your order?” I directed to whoever is in front of me staring at the advertisement above my head—the ‘only for today special.’ kind of foods displayed.
“Uh… I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large soda.”
“A two number nines, a number nine large—” I quickly became perplexed by the orders and looked at the foods displayed above my head. As it was not enough, I even read the whole menu and realized something. “We don’t make those in here.”
Is that some kind of unique code that regulars use to order? Or is that a unique code of calling someone out somewhere else? I am confused. Seriously, who is this woman?
I’ve worked here for only one month, and from those one month, I was dragged in the path of hard labour, which accumulated to a year of experiences. Right now, I’ve had remembered everything, and I can’t even let a single mistake slide beneath my hair. But to encounter something puzzling makes my brain dysfunctional like a robot who malfunctioned.
“Not even two number forty-fives? Or a large soda? I actually like coming back in here just for that.”
I passed her the menu. “Point me those nines, seven, and four-fives that you want.”
She looks at me, oddly amused. “That’s a very unpredictable response. I thought you would have continued being dumb and baffled until I pointed it at you, but it seems you didn’t.”
“Are you hitting on me so you could create some pointless tease for more conversation? Well, you shouldn’t. There are a lot of people lining up to eat, you know.”
“I am just messing with you.” She winks, showing her charms and cuteness—making me unable to speak.
Is that your way of saying ‘I apologize’? Because that’s so dangerously moe—I don’t even think my heart can take everything with those seducing wink of yours. It’s significantly effective, I’ll tell you that. Albeit, now that I just took a quick glance at her, she does seem to have a large breast and slender body.
A breast that was aesthetically emphasizing the tone of superiority. It’s unlike any other that I’ve seen in my life, like a basketball or a volleyball, it’s pulling me in to play with it. Albeit, it’s just so very bloated that I can’t seem to forgive nor blame myself for looking at it. However, I could tell that her real cleavage power hasn’t reached the max limit yet. She must have been aware and wore a dress to push back the cleavage to hide its true form—what a sly woman.
Is she a model?
“So, what are you going to order?” I looked beside the left to avert my eyes off her heavenly boobs.
In a second, with a thinking gesture, she then brightened up and said, “Well, on the other hand, it’s better to figure it out yourself.” She walked away and waved at me.
“Uh… oi, wait!”
I don’t even know how to react. That’s just going too far. Oh well, now that I think about it, she might have wanted to talk to me personally without being also direct. It’s not like there are any hitmen in this place, are there? And speaking of hitmen, they better not be from that woman—I mean, girl.
That just made me insecure. I guess I should continue concentrating on my work shortly before bringing two light foods and two beverages for the two of us.
