The light is nigh shrouded from the blight of the dark, and so does the light.

            From the millions of cast-arrayed starlight full of the constellation, there will always be the bitter one to disappear and become one with the darkness, becoming left out while the stars triumph. It could only look from below, and it won’t manage to move a single flinch. As hope loses the fallen light, it then wishes from the falling star glimmering with elegance. That it would rise higher and brighter. But the fallen light never knew that once it stretches its hand from the top, there will be no going down.

            However, because the fallen light will always have its dark side, that it can’t become one with the light. A fallen light with a conniving commitment of hatred and retaliation, truly becoming what’s worth—in the sacrifice of only seeing itself genuinely. Without the anxiety of death, for life's meaning has been shaded in grey, and only the purpose serves the rose color.

             If this second chance is the glimmering hope of the wish, the falling star has granted. Then indeed, like the comet, the fallen light will cast its retribution to those nobody who’s seen the fallen light with low condescending eyes, a bad omen.

            Nevertheless, because the fallen light is meaningless and believed to only bring negativity from the others. That it can only be seen as a pure-voided monster filled with nothingness—no stars to hold on, and no stars that want to hold on. Ultimately left out in the dark—the fallen light will soon come back with sparkling light.

            From here on out, I’ve got nowhere to come back anymore, other than to push forward. Because a star has no meaning without its starlight. I must regain back my light, but brighter than before. 

            “Are you asleep?” The Principal said with uncertainty.

            I, who’ve been resting low on the soft couch, responded. “…No. Just pulled away from some little reminiscence.”

            After having a certain girl's red-string encounter, I became rather oddly incurred to know who she was. Albeit, knowing who I am, I wouldn’t do such a tedious thing just for a girl's name. It may brand me as a stalker, and the first impressions might be ruined. You know I can’t just let the impression of other people about me degrade, or else it’ll damage my image. However, I already do look like a halfway straight criminal with my demean look and unapproachable figure. See how I manage to say halfway and straight. It makes me look like a complete degenerate. Anyway, I’ve said enough, I am interested in someone, but I don’t have any means to find out about her.

            No connections, no hints, and there is no way I’d want to waste time.

            Since it’s the afternoon, I think I’ll make my way to figuring out the rest of what I should be doing because I can’t be bothered studying.

            “Trying to redo your recognition of a commitment again?”

            Again? You can’t possibly track when-and-where did I try to fully wake up my senses to understand why I came here. Or perhaps, you would be able to, but you wouldn’t understand most of it—so it’s pointless.

            “Who knows…” I meticulously said.

            Then again, I do not count when I’ve brought them because once I start thinking about the past, I unconsciously lose the movement of time. Even though I wanted history to be put in stone and just move on, I can’t. Besides, I can’t deny that I still like the past from today because of the memories and experiences I’ve created from there bore a person like me.

            “Well, not like I care about that. Although, how long are you going to lie over the couch? You can’t just boycott classes forever. I am the one getting pinned from all the blames, you know.” She calmly said with a worried face.

            “Am I bothering you that much?”

            “A lot. And now that you know that. I want you to leave. I know you have better things to do.”

            “I am here because I’ve got no better things to do—what would you expect me to do when I am inside this school?”

            “Rehabilitating yourself from that depraved depression and ill-manners. Learning how to cook and pay taxes to become a responsible husband. But first, you’ll need to study until your brain becomes numb, and as you do that, you then try to find your purpose and future… hey, are you even listening?”

            “Tch. You don’t get old, don’t you? I don’t want to hear the same thing, and I am out of here.” I stood, stretched my arms, and pushed my back after walking in front of the door.

            “Seriously, I might be young, but I can’t help but feel like you’ll be the cause of my coffin.”

            “I don’t really mind if you die, though—just make sure you actually marry a loyal man.”

            “Excuse me!” She averted her face at me, mad.

            “Well, I’ll excuse myself too,” I smirked and immediately ran away from the Principal’s office.

            I wanted to tell her about Angelica, but that would take a long time to explain what happened. Exceptionally, we might be childhood friends, but she shouldn’t push her luck. She doesn’t know anything at all, but I shouldn’t be the one to talk to.

Anyway, I should just get inside my classroom and sleep.

            I sneaked into my classroom as the teacher continues to explain some other lectures. Simultaneously, the students listened with such concentration; they all felt vulnerable to late people. I quickly sat in my chair while slumping on the table, tired.

            It’s just another da—aahhy… you know what? Forget about learning—sleeping is the way to go.

            As I slept, the darkness swept in and disappeared simultaneously, creating a hometown for no other than me. At first, it felt nostalgic and melancholic to be back again but knowing that it’s a dream. I decided to treat it as I did in the past. I looked around, and out of nowhere, someone freely put his arm in my shoulder. 

            It was a man who was at a young age wearing a T-shirt, short pants, and a big smile sitting beside me in this small and cheap café. Furthermore, he does seem to enjoy every minute of life. Because of that enthusiasm, I can’t help but respect him a lot. Sometimes, he would pull me whenever he wants to do something and slap me behind to call me weak.

            He was Toal Alexander—who is a very carefree man with an attitude of a thug or a mafia.

            I wasn’t really the extraverted man—I was silent as the meek insect that didn’t do anything but waste his time playing games and fooling around. So every time I’d have the time, I would visit their café. At that time, Toal saw me as somewhat weak and fragile and would sometimes say that to me out loud. I couldn’t really care much because I didn’t want to understand what the people would say to me. However, instead of never departing there anymore, I decided it was for the best that I would hang around and heighten my communication skills.

            Because of that, Toal would then invite me to wherever he goes—whether it’d be helping him on an errand or feeding the chickens. Sometimes, he would tease me for what I am. I didn’t really consider that as something annoying or rude. Instead, I treated it as something nieces would do because I wouldn’t be like that if I talked to a stranger.

           “Seriously, stop fooling around, will you?” He slapped my back a few times, laughing.

            Well, since I actually spent my days looking at the internet. I learned a few things I was able to say when I was talking to them—which only led to confusion because they didn’t know what I was saying. They would then laugh at me and say ‘go home and sleep,’ or ‘you haven’t taken your pill, haven’t you?’

            It seems like my attempt to learn things online only brought a history worth, not remembering. I don’t know whether I would find a stranger like me, so I can talk to someone about what I know.

            I looked at him in silence and continued to sip on my milkshake—not really knowledgeable enough to say something back in this situation.

            “You shouldn’t tease him so much, Toal.” Said a young big-breasted married woman in front of me, the wife of the husband that’s the son of the mother of my mother’s friend who’s lost her loved one because his plane crashed. Get it?

            “It’s okay. It’s not like I am breaking a bone of some sort.” Toal responded.

            “Anyway, Malcolm, you’ve been keeping yourself in the dark for god-knows eternity. If you keep on doing that, you’ll turn into a crazy person.”

            “What are you talking about? He’s been cycling for a week—met his nieces and then would come back here, only to know that he is gone and has actually gone in the Cliffing Stones.”

            Cliffing Stones is one of the popular stop-overs for foreigners because of its awe-inspiring high-definition scenery. I’ve also been making it my stopping point when I am cycling because it’s a convenient place to rest after a long journey. Besides, it’s fun to go down and feel the fresh air, but on the other hand, going back to the top is complicated enough that you’d fall halfway through the road.

            “I guess I can’t really say anything back.”

            She doesn’t seem to really know the Cliffing Stones well enough to lecture me, but whatever.

            “So, Malcolm, how you’ve been doing today?”

            “It’s no different than usual, although I think a lot has changed.”

            “Yeah, doesn’t seem like you’d turn into a wimp soon.” He nods. “With a rotten eye and face, I don’t seriously think you would.”

            “Eh… thanks to you, I guess.” I sipped my milkshake. “How have you been looking at me for a long time? I can’t seem to understand fully well what I have to improve on to become better.”

            “You know, I can’t really understand you, and you can’t understand me too. Still, I can at least say that looking all gloomy and flustered, like a man who’s lost his everything is somewhat worrying.”

            Then stop slapping my back every time you see me like I am some slapping bag.

            “Looking at you at that time, you went in here—I realized that you needed a resolution, a purpose to live on. I can’t really instill that kind of thing, but I could at least change those degrading features of yours.” He focused his sights on his milkshake. “Tough roads are incomprehensible and inevitable. You can choose but at the cost of a different future. It’s easy to give up till then, but unless you figure out your own will. That’s when you’ll start improving.”

            Strong words and I can’t even understand them very well.

            “…I don’t really know what to say.”

            “Well, I don’t really know either why I am saying these words to you, and I can’t help but get confused about why I am helping you. At the time, you’d be out-of-here… that would be high school, right? Don’t forget that nobody knows everyone out there, especially themselves. Malcolm, if you’re planning to help someone, make sure you don’t think about saving them but assisting them.”

            “But that’s none of my business.”

            “Yeah. It’s not like you’d be doing those anyway.”

            I’ve been finding a reason under some guise of different pretexts that seems to be pointless. Somewhere along the line, I can’t help but feel the anxiety of being left alone. I can’t seem to grasp the moment of what if I won’t change and become a worthless person. To find my own purpose, what’s the trick to finding it?

            Seriously, I can’t seem to understand.

            It’s just like a dream—it’s so impossible, yet it can be reached.

            My dreams ended, and as I woke up. I became greeted with a reminiscing fresh air and some energy that feels like I could run a whole marathon—other than that, my mind was soothingly empty. It was like I was being released from the chain of my problems.

            As I was looking around, Harley came into my sight, who closely walked near me, “The class seems to have ended a while ago, so why are you still here?”

            He whispered, “There is a suspicious woman beside the window, and she has been glancing at you for more than an hour. You know, I can’t help but worry about what will happen to you, so I decided to stay here.”

            I looked beside the window and saw a long-haired girl with a boredom gesture, looking around the trees while also looking at the classroom, and then to me. Her appearance felt nostalgic—but for some reason, I can't seem to think of anything that would fit the logic of my nostalgia. Nevertheless, a face with only the sideways seen isn’t going to help anything. I looked at her intently, trying to remember something I don’t know.

            I whispered back, “You think she is into me?”

            “Well… how do I explain this? Apparently, she is our new transfer student, and she’s been looking at you for over an hour. If I remember… that was right when the class ended. I noticed her as everyone was leaving. Maybe she is just shy and is waiting for me to leave… or maybe she is just an American and has a problem with classroom sleepers.”

            A transfer student?

            For some reason, I could feel a sense of déjà vu, as we talked about a transfer student right when we met. I don’t really remember the conversation that much. Still, I remember looking in the Principal office about the transfer students’ documents when she was explaining that stupid girl’s situation. 

            “That can’t be right.” I looked at the girl near the window intently. “You know what, Harley?” He jerked his head while looking at me, perplexed. “How about you leave this classroom and let me handle this?”

            “Well, alright. Make sure you cautiously check if that girl doesn’t have any lethal weapons.”

            “As if a student would have that.” I pushed him outside with both of my palms.

            …How do I execute an approach? I don’t really know how to talk to a stranger easily, and I don’t have any topics to speak of. If I bluntly say what I want to, I might not be able to hear the least of it because she will be embarrassed to say it. But if she isn’t shy, therefore, has just a problem with me… then what am I supposed to do? I know I’ve been able to talk to different strangers, but that was because I know what to say. Right now, I am the aggressive speaker in this situation, and I feel like the words I will say will put a scar on me.

            Won’t some simple greetings work, and after that will follow some of the questions that I want to say? Don’t you think she will ignore me and then look at the window because she is shy? I can’t really seem to take the damage after that. What about a simple ‘the weather’s good today, isn’t it?’ After she responds, I will continue with the topic?

            To be honest, I was kinda hoping that Harley would be the one to talk to her but look at my mouth—too fast at saying something ridiculous. Ah—well, who cares? I don’t really think that anything I’d say matters. Let’s just get down to business.

            I walked closer to her as she glares at me, and I asked. “…Do you have a business with me?”

            She finally removed her left palm from her chin and looked at me, “Oh—you don’t remember me? I am pretty sure we met a lot of times.”

            A lot of times…

            If I remember correctly, I met this one girl with tied-up hair in the evening night—talking to me as if I weren’t a stranger. She asked me an odd question, but I was not in the mood to keep up a conversation with her. However, I did so without really talking that much.

            “…hmm…” I felt dumbfounded. Without any reaction, I flipped the seat in front of her and sat on it. “I see, it’s you, the girl from yesterday.”

            “Only from yesterday?”

            “I don’t remember leaving my apartment a lot of times, so I can tell whether I met someone or not. If yesterday wasn’t just the day we met, then is it somewhere I know too well? You did talk yesterday like we each other.”

            “…That’s a shame… and it’s also disappointing.” She seemed sad and disappointed. “But let me see… I guess you could call it my dark past. A dark past… I think you have one like that too.”

            I am quite in a predicament. My obliviousness is getting in the way. In fact, I don’t care about anyone I meet in the past because I know we won’t meet anymore once I transfer into this high school. I’ve dedicated myself to change by selfishly only caring about myself and my path. Right now, I can’t really bear the weight of incorrectly answering an answer.

            As I thought deeply with the sweat of anxiety ran down the soft part of my body. I have begun hearing the word, ‘I promise you.’

            I have created a promise somewhere from the past for the first time. Still, I knew I rejected the moment I knew she wouldn’t be able to show me the commitment since we’ve been separated. Although, inside of me, I worry for such a little promise. Like it doesn’t mean anything to me, but it’s a lot for her.

            I guess I’m really right… she is committed and is by far strong enough to keep her own promise without ever running away.

            “…Mia Daphne?”

            She chuckled for a little. “I thought you got denser for such a long time. I thought you lost our promise… it seems that you just forgot them.” As the evening sunlight penetrated the window for a little moment, the room became bright. She then smiled, increasing such amount of beauty lingering in her smile.

            “Don't make it sound like forgetting our promise is a trivial matter... my apology, really.” I looked above the ceiling, feeling a little remorseful.

            “I guess we can’t really do anything about it.” She stood and grabbed me. “Come on, we’ve wasted enough time making this conversation awkward!”

            The two of us ran through the hallway, and Harley, who stood behind us, waved at me with a smile. I mustered my arm to flail at him back until I couldn’t see his figure. I didn’t really do anything to complain about what’s happening—as they were pointless endeavors.