Chapter 110: This isn’t Goodbye

  “Plum?” Stryg whispered.

  “Master? Are you hungry? I’m sure we could find some plums in the trade district if you really want some,” Rhian said.

  Stryg ignored her and made his way through the crowd. He pushed aside anyone in his way, ducked under a carriage, and kept moving, keen on finding the source of the scent. His breath quickened, his heartbeat thrummed in his chest. 

  He jumped over a small wagon and saw her standing in the distance. Plum was wearing a soft blue cloak, but he knew it was her. She was carrying a small suitcase and looking about while waiting in line at the gate.

  Plum’s eyes passed by Stryg, she did a double-take, her eyes met his, they both froze. The world seemed to grow small, Stryg’s hearing dimmed until all he could hear was her small short breaths. His feet dragged him forward, his eyes never left her face.

  Plum stared at him with an array of emotions, none of which seemed happy. Her face was pale and he noticed she had dark bags under her blue eyes. She took a step back as he drew near. He paused where he was, about six feet from her.

  He swallowed, “Hi, Plum.” His voice cracked, it sounded like a child’s whining. He cursed inwardly.

  “...What are you doing here, Stryg?” She narrowed her eyes.

  Stryg scratched behind his ear, “I was out in the Valley training the past few months. It was difficult but incredible, I learned a lot. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I saw. There were these frost wolves… but, you probably don’t want to hear about that.”

  He took a deep breath, “What I mean to say is, I just got back.”

“Just got back?” She chuckled.

  “Yes? What’s so funny?” He tilted his head.

  She raised her suitcase, “Just that we wouldn’t have met had you come only an hour later. It seems fate has a cruel sense of humor.”

  “Are you going somewhere? But, the academic year is about to start.” Stryg winced, “Right, you graduated. I missed the ceremony.”

  “It’s not like I wanted you to be there,” she said curtly.

“Of course, why would you,” his eyes stared at her feet.

  “...I applied for a research position in Undergrowth’s magic academy. I got the acceptance letter a few days ago.”

  “I-I see. W-when are you… um… When are you leaving?”

  She tapped her suitcase, “With the academic year beginning they want me to start as soon as possible. ...I have nothing tying me to Hollow Shade anymore, so I might as well go to back Undergrowth. I’ll get to see my grandparents again and Undergrowth has a better magic academy anyways.”

  “Is that right? I probably won’t see you for a while then, huh? I, uh, I wanted to talk to you…”

“And now you have,” Plum walked away.

  Stryg reached out a hand, “I wanted to see you! I just wanted to see you.”

  Plum paused, fidgeted with her glasses, and sighed. She looked back at him, “Is this what you wanted?”

  Stryg lowered his hand, he gripped his chest, “No... I. I missed you and it hurt. I just wanted to see my best friend. I knew she was hurting and I wanted to be there. But, I couldn’t, because it was my fault she was in so much pain. Now that I finally get to see you, a chance to try and make things right, I can’t... Seeing you just hurts so much more.”

  “It’s always about you, huh? Your suffering, your mistakes, your regrets. There’s nothing you can do to make things right. My mother is gone. As you said, you’re not the only one hurting. You don’t deserve my sympathy.”

  He tried swallowing the lump in his throat, “I know I don’t. I don’t deserve a second chance, I get that. You hate me, you probably even want to kill me, I can’t blame you.”

  “I’m not like you, Stryg. I won’t try to kill others in revenge,” she spat.

He nodded, “Yeah, I guess that makes sense, you always thought differently.” 

  He looked around the crowd, “I’ve thought a lot about that day, the last time we saw each other. You said this cruel Realm deserves me. Maybe you were right, I think I am suited to survive in this place. But, this Realm and city do not deserve you. You’re too kind for this place.”

  He took a deep breath, “So, if you believe leaving Hollow Shade and going to Undergrowth for the school year will help you clear your mind, then I understand.”

  Plum bit her lip, “...My mom was wrong. I heard what happened the day she was arrested. She should have never hurt you, I know that. But, she should have never been punished the way she was, no one should. Still, she was wrong. Stryg, you almost died because of her.”

  She wiped the tears around her eyes, “My mom almost killed my best friend. I should have been so angry at her, but when I thought of her all I could think of was her agonizing screams as the shades murdered her… I still do. I was angry at Loh Noir and you. You both ordered her death. Loh is the daughter of a ruling family, going against them in Hollow Shade is suicidal, I knew that my mind could comprehend it.”

  She stepped up to Stryg. “But, you were my best friend. It hurt so much more coming from you. I was so angry with you,” she cried.

  “I didn’t know Byrel was your mother,” Stryg mumbled.

  She stepped back, “...More than anyone I was angry at myself. I hate myself for not telling her about you. My mom hated goblins. I didn’t think she would ever approve of our friendship. But, maybe, if I had tried... Maybe there may have been a chance this would never have happened.”

  Stryg looked her straight in the eyes, “I would have taken it back. Had I known she was your mother, I would not have let her die. Even if she had tried to kill me, even if she was my enemy. For you, I would have spared anyone.”

  “You still don’t get it,” she sighed. “I was wrong about you, Stryg. You’re not a monster, but you are broken. My mother was a victim of loss and she used her pain to become another cog in this Realm’s wheel of hatred. I refuse to be a part of this cycle of revenge. I won’t be a monster.”

  “What are you saying?” He furrowed his brow.

  “I don’t hate you, Stryg. When I look at you all I feel is dull pain. I feel stretched thin, hollow inside. Things can never be the way they once were. After everything that’s happened, I don’t think we can be friends, but I choose to not be your enemy... I’m not coming back next year. I don’t plan on ever returning to Hollow Shade.”

  “What?”

“This is goodbye,” Plum smiled bitterly.

  The three words wounded him more than any blade or claw ever had. 

“Then, I’ll come to visit you in Undergrowth,” he said weakly.

  “Please, don’t,” she shook her head and began walking away.

“No… It can’t end like this, I don’t want it to.”

  “It doesn’t work that way, Stryg.”

  “Why not?” He smiled half-heartedly. He felt a horrible pain in his chest, rising to the surface, like venom about to burst in his veins.

  “Just because you want something, doesn’t mean the world will bend over backward for you,” Plum said bitterly.

  That voice, that gaze of disdain, Stryg knew it too well. He despised it.

  “Well, it should!” Stryg screamed. “Someday, I’ll be more powerful than you can ever imagine. Then it won’t matter what anyone says, the world will have to listen! I won’t lose anyone ever again. I’ll make them mine. They won’t leave me… not again.”

  “You sound like a tyrant.”

“And what if I do, what difference does that make!?”

  She scowled, “Tyrants are some of the worst kinds of monsters. Why do you think this Realm is so broken in the first place?”

  Stryg laughed bitterly, “The world has always been broken, Plum, that’s nature. I’m tired of you saying otherwise! Your idealistic world isn’t real. The reality is countless people die every single day.”

  He pointed a finger at her face, “The world doesn’t care and it never will. If you don’t defend yourself, you’ll just end up being devoured by the strong! Don’t you see? The goal is to be on top of the food chain and only monsters live there.”

  He clenched his fist, “We all have pain, but unlike you, I have the conviction to see this to the end. I’ll become whatever monster I need to be to make my tribe the greatest in the Realm. I’ll destroy any who stand in Ebon Hollow’s path.”

  He offered his hand, “But, you don’t have to stain your hands with blood to survive, I’ll do it all, so just come with me. Someday, no one will ever try to hurt us again, they won’t even dare to imagine the thought. I won’t leave you to fend for yourself, so, please don’t leave me.”

  Plum’s eyes were full of tears, “I loved you, but you truly are broken if you believe happiness lies through the destruction of others. You may have the will to make your nightmare a reality, but you don’t have the talent. You are no prodigy and I for one am glad for it. The Realm would be worse off with someone like you in power.”

  “You don’t mean that,” his voice was raw, his eyes burned in pain.

Plum looked him straight in the eyes, “I do. Goodbye, Stryg.”

  He could do nothing but watch as she left. He felt like the same small goblin that would stand by the Blood Fang’s village entrance every morning, watching the hunters head into the forest, but knowing he would never join them.

  He felt like the life he had begun to build, the idea of what the world could be for him, came crashing down. He was reminded of what it was like to be suddenly so very alone in the dark. 

  Rhian trotted up from behind him. “There you are, Master. I’ve been looking all over for you. You suddenly disappeared, I was beginning to wonder if you had ditched me,” she laughed.

  Stryg’s ears didn’t register her voice. His focus was entirely on Plum’s blue cloak drifting away. “This isn’t goodbye, I swear it,” he whispered.

  “Master, were you crying?” Rhian asked worriedly.

Stryg blinked, finally noticing her presence. “I’m fine,” he rubbed his eyes. 

  Like a spell, the two words wrapped his exposed pain in the familiar shroud of apathy and indifference.

  “Are you sure?” She bent down and studied his pale face.

“I just want to go home,” he sighed.

  Rhian nodded. “We can do that,” she said softly.

  She helped him into the saddle and carried him away. She kept looking back at him but stayed quiet. They passed by familiar shops and stalls, the scents of food filled the air, yet none of it seemed to matter to Stryg.

  Once they arrived in the scholar district Rhian made a beeline towards their apartment complex and the stables behind the building. She would normally skip or gallop into the stables with a shout of pride. This time she walked in with a slow, steady canter.

  “We’re home,” Rhian said.

  Gwen, the stablehand, popped out from one of the pens, “Rhian! You’re back! Oh, and Mister Stryg, too, hehe. Welcome back.”

  “How’s my favorite stablehand doing?” Rhian smiled.

“I’m your favorite?” Gwen’s eyes widened. “I’m doing great now that you’re here! How can I help?”

  Gwen walked around Rhian, inspecting her, “Your coat’s lost some of its shine? Has no one been brushing it? And your hooves, what happened to your beautiful hooves!?”

  “Tell me about it,” Rhian rolled her eyes.

  Stryg jumped off the saddle, he handed a few gold coins to Gwen, “Please, arrange for a custom bed to be built for Rhian. I want it to be as large and comfortable as possible. Use the rest of the money to get whatever she needs.”

  “I swear to Stjerne himself, that it will be done. You can count on it,” Gwen placed her hand over her heart.

  “Thanks, I appreciate it,” Stryg said coolly. “Rhian, I’ll leave you in Gwen’s care for now. I’m going to head up to the apartment.”

  “Okay, call me if anything. I’ll be here if you need me,” Rhian gripped his shoulder.

“Always?” Stryg asked.

    “Duh, I’m the centaur extraordinaire,” she winked.

It felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

  He managed a weary smile, “Thank you, Rhiannon.”

  Stryg left the stables and went up to his apartment. He rummaged through his pocket for his keys. After a moment, he slid the key into the doorknob and pushed. The hinges creaked loudly as the door opened with a sluggish motion. 

  Feli was sitting on a chair next to the living room table, writing something down in her journal. Her bright purple hair was tied in a ponytail immaculately, not a single strand astray.

  She looked up at the sound of his entrance, “Stryg?”

“I’m back,” he said quietly.

  Feli dropped her ink pen and rushed towards him. He stood still as she embraced him tightly. Her warmth enveloped him, her hair tickled his face, the familiar scent of strawberries flooded his nostrils. It was as if a bright voice was calling the small goblin out of the darkness.

  “Stryg, I’ve missed you so much!” She cried out teary-eyed.

  She kissed him on the lips and cheeks. He didn’t move, his body felt numb, slow to react. Feli stepped back to have a good look at him.

  She smiled from ear to ear, “It’s been so boring without you. I have to admit, I even missed your weird antics. How was the trip? You have to tell me everything.” 

  Her smile fell, “Something’s wrong. What happened?”

  It only took the four words, the cadence of concern, the trace of love in Feli’s voice, to dispel the shroud of apathy around him. Stryg shivered, he buried his head in her chest and slowly wrapped his arms around her. His shoulders began to shake, he took long ragged breaths. Feli could feel his hot tears smear her chest.

  “Nothing’s wrong, not anymore.”

  She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her face into his ashen-grey hair, “Welcome home.”