“Clear!”

*ZAP*

FUCK!  Every cell in my body is on fire.  And not in the “oh baby” kind of way.  Nope, this is in the “holy shit I’m dying and it will hurt the whole time” kind of way.  Every muscle is locked up.  There is even the smell of burning hair?

“Ha!  He’s alive!  See Gladys?  You owe me fifty.”

Jesus, can’t talk.  Can’t see.  Think I’m laying down?  Two blurs are looming over me.  Ears are working at least.

“Yes doctor.  Your divine skills are wasted here.”  Wow, sarcasm much?  ”Should proclaim you’re a necromancer.  Notify the administration so your genius can be recognized city wide.”

Damn gravelly voice lady blur, even at death’s door I can tell that was harsh.  Fucking hell this hurts.  Like my whole body’s been grilled.  Where am I?  Wait, is this Earth?  I made it, right?  Come on, voice.  Work!.

“Wh-wha…  Wo-worl”

Yep.  Move over Wayne Newton and make room for my lounge lizard liquidy lyrics..

“Eh?  What are you saying?”

The awfully proud of himself guy blur leans closer to hear me.  He smells like antiseptic.  A lot of it.  Has he been bathing in it?

Sweet!  I can move my hand!  A little.  Come on, concentrate!  Focus!

“Th-thi…  Er-earth?”

Barely manage to start hitting my numb fingers against whatever I’m laying on.

“Huh?”

The top part of the white blur tilts to the right.

“H-here…  Th-this…  Earth-th?”  Shit it hurts to talk.

The blur tilts to the left side.

“No, this is a table.”

…

Sigh.

“E-earth?”

“T-table.”

Jesus.

“H-here.  Thi-s.  Earth!”  Where did this giant frog in my throat come from?

Mister blur grabs my hand and holds it down.

“No.  Table.  T-A-B-LE.  Table.”

So this is what Hellen Keller felt like.  Yeah, I get it Anne.  It's water.  Stop getting my hands wet!

Thank god, the fuzziness in my brain is finally getting better.  Vision is still blurry though.  Pain is down to a dull burn too.  My body feels staticy.

Blur one stops leaning over me and looks at blur two.  Speaks with a serious tone.

“Nurse, get me the scanner.”

“Bobbie, did you fry another one?”  Wow what a condescending voice.

“Hey!  The last one was not my fault!  Mostly.  Uh.  This kid paid up front, right?”

With a sigh that could be heard across the ages, the lady blur walks away and sounds like she’s rummaging through a junkpile.  Finally returns with a blocky dark blur in her hands.

Nerve endings are starting to work again.  Need to get up.  Is this a hospital?  My coordinates should have been good.  Should be back “home.”

Mister blur takes the blocky dark blur and sits it next to my head.  I feel a couple of cold things stuck to my head.  

Got a bad feeling about this.

“Okay.  Now try not to move.  This might hurt, hope it doesn’t short out again, a lot.”

“Wha-?”

*click* *buzz*

AAAHHHH!

---

Something soft and warm is under my head.  Where am I?  Oh, it's the white room.  Wow, nostalgia.  Have not seen this place in ages.  Why am I laying down?  Wait.  That vanilla like smell.

“You were amazing.”

Tenderly spoken words bathe me like morning light.  Angel tits?  Giving me a lap pillow?  Oh.  Her thighs feel really good.  Over her massive knockers I can see the youthful angelic face that I sincerely promised myself to punch the next time I saw it.

“Thank you.  Did not handle things the way we hoped you would but..."  Look at that smile.  "Wow.”

A compliment?  Seriously?  Yeah, well, I’ve never been good with following scripts.  Loved breaking every isekai trope I could.

“Why did you come back?”  That bright smile turns gloomy.

Were her eyes always that blue?  Hair always that blonde?  Awesome boobs are the same.  Now, how should I say this?  Better stick with a classic.

“Mission accomplished."  Always good for a laugh.  "Time to bring the rest of my family home.”

While talking to, and looking at, her.  My brain goes into overdrive.

Did I miss something in the ritual?  Shouldn’t be here.  The other summoned didn’t remember ever coming here.  Ever meeting her.  So why just me?  Why am I here again?

I’m now around the age I was, again, when I first entered this room.  Finally figured everything out.  Got done what that poor girl Sayo couldn’t.  What she gave up on.

Can unite my families now.  She?  My other wife?  Probably never forgive me.  May even leave me.  But they can have a much better life here.  Uh, there.  Health, wealth, safety, magic, it will all be theirs.

She’s always been treated like a fifth wheel.  Assholes.  Not anymore.  Here she’ll be a queen.  A goddess.

And for our kids?  Lots of brothers and sisters to help them out.  Though the extra moms bossing them around may not go over so well.  They’ll be princes.  What boy wouldn’t like learning swords and sorcery?  Living in a palace with their own huge rooms plus hot and willing maids, nannies, and tutors.

Just what the puberty doctor ordered.

Took decades but I figured out all five dimensional coordinates.  Not just the two or three like others thought.  So just pop over.  Verify coordinates.  And hop back with them in tow.

If they like it they can stay.  If not I can take them home to the same moment they left.  Even bring enough wealth for them to be set for life there too.  No fuss.  No muss.  Easy peasy.

Though this timey whimey dimensiony stuff still hurts my head.

So...  Why am I here instead?

“I’m sorry.”  Angel’s eyes are tearing up.  Yep.  Not a good sign.  “You amazing beautiful boy.  No one imagined you would do this.  No one foresaw this.  If I did?”

Crap.  Am I dead again?

“Summonings need gods for more than just power.  Your ritual?”  Biting her lip?  Really not a good sign.  “Was not complete.”

?!?

Fuck.  Fuck!  FUCK!  All those circles!  All those stages!  All that mana!  So much I could have blown a whole in the planet with one "whoops!"  And it wasn’t enough?  Dammit!!!

Something wet is hitting my face.  Tears?  Why is Angel Tits crying?

“You were lost.  Drifting.  For so long.  Too stubborn to fade...  Idiot.”  What are you talking about?  “I needed help finding you!”  Whoa, geesh lady, calm down.  I'll go and get the manager for you.  “But there is a price for her...  Help.  Please belie-”

And like fingernails on a chalkboard, goddess’s confession gets interrupted.

“Are you done yet?”

Damn, what a cold ballbuster voice.  From a warm towel to a bucket of ice water.  Like a boss who slept her way to the top and wants every man beneath her to suffer for every fat sweaty ugly bastard she chose to get naked under.

Turn my head to see, a robot?  Cyborg?  Sexbot?  Seriously.  She’s like butt fucking naked but her skin is all metal?  Chrome?  Her lips, eyes, and hair though?  Green.  Like, electric green.  Sparking even.  And yes, the carpet does match the curtains.

But...  Where do you insert the batteries into this mail order sex toy?  That you hope mom doesn't notice on the credit card bill.

Let me guess.  This femme fatale bot has come to take my soul.  Miss Satine, not Satan, I presume?  Welp!  Guess I get to beat down another god.  Not the first time.  Sure it won’t be the last.

“You had your turn.”  Jesus, that's an arrogant bitch grin on this ice queen's face.  “He’s mine now.”

Angel gets the cutest pouting look in reply.

“Never.  He will always belong to me.”

Belong?  Wasn’t there just that one time?  Talk about clingy.

“Ha!"  Don't run your finger nail around your tits like that.  "Then I’ll be borrowing him.”  Bitch smiling like a she-wolf.  “Don’t worry.  Maybe I won’t damage this one too much.”

This one?

Yeah, time to end this nonsense.  Slowly climb to my feet as Angel Tits also gets up and faces off with Cyber Bitch.

“Now listen here bitch.  The only place I’m go-  Mmph?”

In an instant.  Greenie goes from being a few feet away to right in my face and liplocks me, hard.  Tongue?  It's metal.  But strangely soft, and warm.  Tingles too.  Like foreplay with an alkaline battery.

Whoa, why am I suddenly woozy?  Did she just slip me something?

Damn, what the hell lady.  I’m married.  Several times over in fact.  Not counting the concubines and mistresses.  And god only knows how many bed warmers plus hay rollers.

Not sure how long our lip and tongue tango goes on but she finally releases me.

Dammit, getting dizzier.  Sexual harassment in the workplace?  Going to call HR on your ass, skank.

Hear Angel Tits stamp her foot behind me and I’m suddenly spun around by small soft ivory hands to face her.

“He will always be mine.”  God those are some blue eyes-

“Mmph?”

Is all I can manage as Angel Tits gets on her tippy toes and takes a turn going after my tonsils.

Well, ha, jokes on you.  Already had them removed.  Christ this is hot.  My head is spinning.  Both of them.

Cyber Bitch snuggles into my back.  I’m sandwiched.  Their hands are going everywhere.  Even my joystick and porthole are targeted.  They didn’t even put latex gloves on first.

Oh… Baby… 

Okay.  Maybe I won’t call HR.  But this is definitely going in the company newsletter.  Great thing about harems?  Always room for a couple more.

After what seems like too long, and not long enough, my lips are free again.  Wait, did she slip me something too?  Brain getting fuzzier.  Those incredibly deep blue eyes stare up at me.

“I will save you.”  Huh?  Isn't that supposed to be my line?

The taller, leaner, and meaner, Cyber Bitch has no problem reaching, and nibbling, on my ear.  Through her hot breath she whispers.

“Let’s have some fun.”

My alarm bells go off and I try to cast something, anything, to protect myself.  Before I can react.  Before I can move at all.  Everything, even my thoughts, go dark and all I can feel is a sensation of falling.

---

*beeeeeee-* *beep* *beep* *beep*

“Cle-!  Oh, never mind.”

Great.  Mister, any medical condition can be solved with enough voltage, is back.  He must be in heaven during flu season.  Got the sniffles?  Zap!  Sore throat?  Zap!

Huh, back on planet Table.  Guess I’ve got a new goal now.  One, unite my families.  Two, beat the shit out of Cyber Bitch.  Short lists are best lists.

Two may happen before, maybe after, I fuck her.  Ugh.  Now I have to fucking figure out more shit with that god damned summoning ritual.  Shit!

Inner monologue powers, activate.  Shape of, a jackass.  Form of, a multiple personality disorder.

Alright, here’s the sitch.  I’ve been isekaied.  Again.  Just did the soul summoning so both of my bodies should be fine.  Since there is a time coordinate in the ritual I should still be able to go to the exact moments I left both worlds.

My family on Earth may not know shit but I explained everything to my family on Ipra.  So even if the worst happened they would not be left wondering.  They’ve given me decades of love and support so I won’t be greedy expecting more.

Also told them all that if I don’t come back?  They should move on.

Of course they swore not too but, come on.  I’m not that arrogant.  Nor that naive.  People have needs and if you don’t take care of them?  Sooner or later, someone else will.

If they do dump me?  Wouldn’t mind starting a new harem.  There’s always more hotties and love really ain’t that rare.

Made sure to sort everything well enough that even if I don’t come back?  All my women, kids, and subordinates, should be taken care of for the rest of their lives.

Though I didn’t set anything aside for the current and future grandkids.  There have to be limits, you know.

My Ipran body should be fine for a long long time.  It's about as hidden and deep as it can get.  Plus my personal guard is there and they are, well, dead already.  My Earth body is another issue.

My experiments show that soul stealing leaves the body in a comatose like state.  So even if I miss the time coordinates I will probably wake up in a hospital.  Or a casket.

Hmm…  What happens if I’m cremated?  Do I get a busy signal?  Call cannot be completed as dialed?

We’ll worry about that bridge if we come to it.

Body wise still feel like complete shit.  Burned.  Fried.  Should use [Recovery Magic] but, it ain’t there.  None of my Ipra cheats are.  Figures.  So is this isekai hard mode?

Can still feel my mana, sort of.  Can’t use it though.  Can’t find my mental grimoire and none of my ready spells are working.  Hmm… 

No Recovery Magic.  No Bullet Time.  No Super Senses.  Still, there is something going on in me.  I can feel it moving through my body.  Like thousands and thousands of itty bitty little ants.  Freaky.

Plus part of my brain feels, well, turned off.  Literally out of order.  Yeah, weird fucking feeling.

“Hello?”  Fingers are snapping in front of my eyes.  “Anyone in there?”