“Alright,” Blackie shrugged, “As I said, we used Soul Coupling as a reference to create a new soul-based, multiversal racial characteristic for worldborn. Basically, we gave your soul an ability to… uh… interact with other souls in a special way… which kinda made you into a eunuch,” Blackie laughed awkwardly, “but otherwise it is very handy! I guarantee that in the future, you’ll totally love it!”

The black-hearted system ignored Noah’s very unconvinced look to continue, “Simply put, it’s a passive soul ability that automatically activates in response to you touching someone else or someone else touching you, in a way that is non-accidental and would be deemed intimate.” Blackie’s voice jumped in glee, “Fun fact, it even works if you are asleep or unconscious!”

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose, telling himself that he shouldn’t think about strangling Blackie.

Because the other didn’t have a neck to choke…

“…what’s deemed as intimate?” Noah squeezed in between gritted teeth.

“Intimate as in sensual, romantic, or sexual in nature.” Blackie stifled a giggle, “Touches to certain private areas like your ass, nipples, and dick are off-limits. The rest mostly depends on what YOU would consider intimate.”

Noah rubbed his eyes again. That did align with his own observations. When someone bumped into him in the subway, accidentally touching his ass, this protection didn’t trigger because it was unintentional. However, when his bros went around teasingly smacking asses, they ended up zapped when they smacked his. It hadn’t been a particularly devastating ‘punishment’ though. They even found it pretty funny and continued to tease him about it ever since.

On the other hand, his brothers and sisters in the orphanage had no issues hugging and kissing him because they didn’t touch off-limits areas, and Noah didn’t perceive their intimacy as sexual in nature.

Wait…! If certain areas are always off-limits… Noah’s eyebrows furrowed. Didn’t the nun who raised him need to wipe his ass when he was a baby? Don’t tell me she got zapped every time??

Blackie, who could read his thoughts snickered, his host’s mental processes were truly ‘special’!

“She had to use the showerhead to clean your ass.”

Noah’s eyebrow twitched, and he pretended not to have heard Blackie’s cackling, “Alright, so what is this reactionary response? What happens when it is triggered?”

“Ah, this reactionary response…” Blackie’s tone was rather nonchalant, “It’s what you’d call a soul cuddle.”

Within seconds, Noah’s face crumpled into an expression that could only be described with the words ‘are you shitting me?!’

Blackie smirked knowingly, “Ah, but not just anyone can afford to cuddle with a soul of a worldborn! In most cases, your soul hug will figuratively choke the living daylights out of them.”

Blackie paused for emphasis, then added, “What actually happens depends on the degree of rejection. It varies from the other person being repelled while feeling mild discomfort, to dropping to the ground, convulsing and frothing at the mouth…” Blackie trailed off, “In its essence, this ‘soul cuddle’ is merely your soul touching the other soul in an attempt to feel it out and mingle with it if it is to your liking.”

Blackie’s tut-tutted, “But you are so picky, ah! If the compatibility between your two souls is less than 95%, your soul will reject it.”

“What do you mean I’m picky?! Wasn’t it you guys who designed this characteristic in such a way?!” Noah puffed up like a pufferfish and slapped his palms against the water with a wet smack.

His complaint went into one ear and out the other; Blackie continued speaking in that vexing, frivolous tone, “95%! Heh, you might be thinking, it’s not even a 100% requirement; it shouldn’t be that hard to find, right? Wrong! Average soul compatibility is around 20%! A 60% match is something humans call a match made in heaven!”

The more Blackie spoke, the more agitated he became, “95%, ah! You’d sooner find a unicorn than a soul match, ah! In an entire world, there will usually not be a single person that would reach 90%!”

“No wonder the humanborn on Cradle came up with bullshit about worldborn needing to remain pure forever and whatnot!” Noah squeezed between gritted teeth.

“That’s right! There was simply never a case of a worldborn whose soul mingling didn’t result in a big ouch for the other soul!” Blackie sighed sympathetically, “And considering how your worldborn soul is far stronger than normal souls, that failed mingling is no different than smashing a stone with an egg! When things go awry, which one will suffer a backlash and which not, is obvious!”

Noah’s eyebrows furrowed in thought, “Only souls reaching 95% compatibility won’t receive a backlash? Are there any exceptions?”

“Of course there are exceptions,” Blackie spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. “In this multiverse, there are exceptions to everything! Everything has a counter. There are certainly other abilities or properties that can counter or negate yours.”

Before Noah’s eyes could fully light up, Blackie ruthlessly shot him down, “No. This world you are in doesn’t have any of those special kinds of powers.”

Noah’s laid back posture straightened agitatedly, “But Levi… earlier…!”

“Touched your dick very happily?” Blackie’s sneer could be heard in his words quite clearly.

Noah remained silent. But that too was an answer in itself.

“How would he have suffered a backlash?” –Noah felt his system rolling its eyes, a strange sensation considering that it was an existence without eyes– “What backlash? Your two souls were too busy happily mingling like bunnies in heat!”

Noah’s mind buzzed, and his mouth turned dry, “You are saying… our souls…”

“Congratulations! It’s a match!” (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

“…The above-95% match that is nearly impossible to find?”

“That’s the one!” ?

Noah, “…” (눈_눈)

Blackie stared at his host expectantly, but after a while, there was still no sign of exaggerated fluster on the other’s face. Initially Blackie was befuddled, but then he realized where things went wrong, “You don’t believe me? I’m not shitting you! I am 100% honest here! Cross my heart, hope to die!”

‘What’s wrong with you, host?! When I’m lying through my teeth, you believe me, but when I’m actually honest, you don’t?!’

(ノ꒪Д꒪)ノ︵ ┻━┻

Future Noah, ‘It’s because you keep lying through your teeth that I don’t believe you!!!’

(ノ꒪Д꒪)ノ︵ ┻━┻

“Fine,” Blackie let out an exasperated sigh, “Believe what you want. Whether I am telling the truth or not, you can check for yourself. I guarantee you won’t find a single person in this entire world who can touch you besides Levi–” Blackie abruptly halted, ‘Uh-oh! There it is! That terrifying smile!!’

(ꐦ ◠‿◠) “Blackie. Come here. I promise not to kill you.”

Inexplicably, Blackie’s synapses stood on their end, “Why are you angry?? Up to now, you thought you’d be a single dog forever! But now you know that with the right person you too can have a lovey-dovey relationship! Isn’t this good news??”

“What lovey-dovey relationship?!?” Noah burst out, his abrupt movement causing the water to spill out of the tub. “Isn’t the only person I can possibly have a relationship with my brother-in-law!?!”

“Ex-brother-in-law,” Blackie kindly reminded, “He and your sister already broke up.” Though only one of the two is currently aware of that fact…

Blood throbbed within Noah’s veins. There was much wrong with this so-called soul match he didn’t even know where to start!!!

“We are both males!” He spat.

Blackie, however, didn’t see his point at all, “So?” ‘Ah, if a soul mate of a natural-born little bottom like you was a female, wouldn’t that be a tragedy?! No, to put it in more correct terms – how the fuck would a perfect match of a little bottom like you be anything else but a top?!?’

“He is straight, and I’m asexual!!!” Noah’s forced out between his ragged breaths.

‘Straight?? Levi?? Asexual, you?!?’ Blackie nearly choked on his spit, ‘You still believe that after all that just went down on that bed?!?’ ಠ_ಠ