With the mention of that scene, Noah’s sullen face instantly heated up, and his hands unconsciously flew towards his lips. Abruptly his smoldering crankiness was replaced by steaming embarrassment.
At the time, when he had first seen it in the memories transferred from Blackie, he had been too preoccupied with Levi’s miserable state to put further thought into it, but now…
(⁄ ⁄> ﹏ <⁄ ⁄)
Ah, wasn’t that his first kiss?? For his cherished first time to be robbed like this..!
…and he couldn’t even remember how it felt because he had been out-cold, ah!
With the whole 95% compatibility problem, this might be the last kiss he’d ever have the chance to experience too! What a loss!
ಢ_ಢ
Blackie, “…” (눈_눈) Yep. What else could it possibly be but a pure and touching brotherhood?
Blackie didn’t even need to ask his host anything – he already knew exactly how the other would respond.
‘Why do you feel shy about kissing your brother-in-law?’ –‘Nonsense! Who wouldn’t feel embarrassed kissing another man!’
‘But your mood instantly turned giddy upon thinking about your brother-in-law?’ –‘Ah, it’s because we have such a good relationship!’
‘Your face looks as pink as a steamed crab!’ –‘Ah, I must have been in the hot shower for too long!’
Blackie, ‘Calling you a retard is an insult to actual retards!’
(ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ ┻━┻
Noah’s wet eyelashes fluttered bashfully, “This–this soul mate thing… W–w–why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”
Blackie gawked at his host’s sudden fluffy bunny transformation and couldn’t help but think, ‘Fuck my life…’ QAQ
“What was I supposed to tell you?” he sneered, “ ‘Hey, see that dude your sister is about to marry? Yeah, tough luck, he happens to be the only person in this world who can fuck you without getting tased’ ?”
With the mention of the f-word, Noah’s blush deepened, “Can you speak properly?!”
Blackie, as usual, ignored the admonishment, “Would you have even been able to look Levi in the eye after knowing the truth? Hmph! Didn’t it turn out fine in the end?”
“What do you mean ‘fine’?!” Noah’s attention snapped back to his very irritating system, “How did it turn out fine?!? Do I look fine to you?!?” ‘For fucks sake, I’m in a tub washing out a mix of my own and another man’s cum!!!’
“How are you not fine? Was Levi’s ‘service’ not satisfactory?” (¬‿¬)
“I–I–I… T–that…” That was clearly a question without a right answer!!
Ah, he didn’t want to talk about this anymore! QAQ
Noah ducked his head, his eyes darting left and right, trying to come up with a change in topics.
“How–how did you say this shitty perk is called? Soul Coupling?”
Thankfully, Blackie didn’t want to talk about Levi’s prowess in bed either. If it weren’t for the mention of Levi being super-effective at diverting his host’s attention, he would have preferred to pretend the man didn’t exist!
“Ah, no, that’s how the original version was called,” Blackie’s flat voice floated over, “Yours is a heavily-modified, newly-created trait.”
Noah cocked his head, “Then what did you name it?” For Haven’s sake, he didn’t want to keep referring to it as a soul cuddle!
Blackie spoke slowly, his every word more grandiose and more suspenseful than the last, “We call it…”
–This glorious trait was the fruit of their hard labor! Their sweat and tears! Lo and behold! Upon speaking its name, the skies and the earth shall rumble, and the creatures all throughout the land shall kneel in reverence!
Noah’s ears perked up, listening attentively.
Finally, Blackie spoke its great name, “…The Cockblocker.”
Noah, “…” (눈_눈)
Blackie, “…” （︶^︶）
“Stop fucking around!!!” (ノ꒪Д꒪)ノ︵ ┻━┻
The wrongly accused Blackie, “I’m not!” (っ °Д °;)っ
Noah kicked his feet, splashing more water out of the tub, “What is it really called?!”
“It’s really called the Cockblocker, ah!” Blackie squeaked, sounding very indignant. “We couldn’t call it Soul Coupling because it’s not the same ability! We then considered calling it Soul Meld, Soul Sync, or Spirit Embrace, but all three were already taken!”
Noah’s expression turned strange. Why did this story make him think of a couple of otakus sitting around a computer trying to play a super popular new MMO but getting stuck on the last step of character creation because they just couldn’t find a good name for their painstakingly created character that wasn’t already taken? (◞‸ლ)
“So we had to be more creative,” Blackie narrated with heartache, “‘Soul Cuddle’, ‘Soul Tango’, ‘Mwah, take my hugs and kisses!’, ‘Love me, darling, ah, ah!’…” he sighed ruefully, “…All kinds of name ideas kept being suggested.”
Noah doubled back with gaping mouth, “And all of those unbelievably shitty names were already taken?!”
“No,” Blackie sighed ruefully, “Because they were shitty, not a single one passed the majority vote.”
Noah, “…” Alright, that made sense…
Blackie continued, “We spent so much time arguing, it nearly turned into a brawl. And then, when we were starting to pull our hair out, Steve slammed his hand on the table and cursed, ‘Who gives a shit how this fucking cockblocker of an ability is named!?!’”
Noah, “…” (눈_눈)
Finally, Blackie’s very ‘inspiring’ story reached its climax, “So we now call it the Cockblocker.” ╮(╯▽╰)╭
A silence stretched between the two until it was broken by Noah’s humorless laugh.
What did he expect from an organization that thought that the best way to solve the issue of getting raped was to turn him into a living taser?!
(ꐦ ◠‿◠)
‘Also…’ Noah ground his teeth, ‘Heh, heh, Steve again! I’ll remember this!’
“Soul Coupling it is,” Noah decided.
“It’s really not, ah!” Blackie protested, but…
…his objection was decisively ignored by his host, “I’m calling it Soul Coupling from now on.”
Blackie mobilized his communication module to respond, and Noah prepared to shoot it down again, but their confrontation was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.
“Ba–” Levi forcefully swallowed down the word ‘baby’ that almost spilled out of his mouth; instead, he changed his concerned words into “…are you alright?”
A flustered “I’m fine!” immediately shot out of Noah’s mouth, followed by several loud water splashes that sounded like a desperate struggle of a drowning man. If it weren’t for the fact that his voice was loud and clear, with no sounds of gurgling or gagging, Levi would have seriously considered the feasibility of indoor drowning.
“I–I–I’ll be out soon!!” Noah’s trembling voice was both flustered and soft, like a kitten mewling. Levi couldn’t help but feel as if his heart had been tickled by a feather.
Ah, how could his baby was so lovable!?! (／≧ω＼)❤
Blackie, on the other hand, nearly choked, “What the fuck, host?! Where did your blood-curdling smile disappear to?! Where is that biting tone of yours?! How can you switch faces so fast?!”
щ（ﾟДﾟщ）
‘When you are talking to this lord, you are so bitchy! Yet, when your hubby pops out of the bushes, in the blink of an eye, you turn into a fluffy rabbit! This difference in treatment is too much!!’
(ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ ┻━┻
Noah sneered, “What do you take me as? An indiscriminately benevolent saint?! Heh, I’ll have you know that I repay both grudges and favors 10 fold! You reap what you sow!”
凸(｀0´)凸
Levi, ‘What? You want my baby to treat you the same way he treats his husband?!’ (≖_≖)
Blackie, “…” ‘Alright, you win! This ‘premium’ treatment… I don’t want it!’
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Yeah, I thought for sure that this oblivious guy would figure it out, but... it wouldn't have been as fun if he did, huh?