“What do you mean by ‘sorry’?” I ask her in befuddlement. Aren’t I the perpetrator here? I should be the one seeking forgiveness from her. Susan gives me guilty looks before opening up.

“Truth is… I love you, Mike. I love you very much. So much that you won’t believe me.” Susan confesses to me. I am left in shock.

“Is this some sort of a joke?" I ask her in disbelief.

“But weren’t you furious just now, not to mention throughout our interaction? You were even crying too…”

“That was all acting, I really love you, Mike.”

“If you really love me, then why did you do all this?”

She quietens for a moment. Her eyes get watery as her tone becomes meek.

“I just… wanted Mike to come with me to the outside world. I knew you would be unwilling to come with me outside the shelter without any basis. It forced me to take such measures. I am really sorry, Mike, I mean it. Can you please forgive me?”

I stay quiet for a moment, trying to take in all she says.

“I get it, you want me to feel betrayed like yourself, right? This is your idea of revenge before I get eaten by those monsters outside. Sorry Susan, but I can’t believe you.”

“What, no! I really do love you, Mike. Please trust me!”

“How can I believe you still love me? I raped you after all. It’s unreasonable for a rape victim to start loving his rapist. Not to mention you already had a boyfriend.”

“I really love you, Mike. I can prove it right now. Just ask me to do anything. The boyfriend bit… it was all made up. I used that lie to get closer to you.”

“Then why didn’t you just confess to me directly?”

“I did try once, but you pushed me away back then. I was sure that you liked me back too… I just didn’t want the repeat to happen again.” She told me with teary eyes, her hands clasping the empty air. Though she mentioned having been rejected once, I can’t recall any such incident ever taking place.

“Prove it to me, prove that you love me.”

Susan looks a bit flustered. She doesn’t know how to prove herself.

“But how…?”

“Kiss me, r-“ Right when I say those words, she lunges in for a kiss. Her tongue plunges in deep like a harpoon piercing through the waves and wedges itself into my mouth. Our tongues twist and twirl. I try to push her away to put an end to it, but she insists on going further by forcing her tongue deeper into me. Her hands hurl around me and pull me into a tight hug. Only after what feels like minutes, she finally ends her kiss.

“Is it good enough?” She asks with a joyful smile, her face enlivening past her dried tear stains. I can’t help but blush a little just from how stimulating the kiss was, but the feeling doesn’t last long. Those feelings are washed away by remembering the suffering I had gone through as penance for my crimes. It was horrible these past 2 days. I had been like a lifeless doll; a broken marionette. She isn’t even aware of the pain I suffered through.

“Do you know how guilty I felt when you claimed I raped you? I didn’t take a single step outside, much rather go out of my room, and now you come and tell me it is all fine and dandy?” I am starting to feel wronged. As if I was the victim here.

“But you did force yourself onto me, Mike. You were like an a-animal... Ah, but, I enjoyed it a lot though, you were amazing! You don’t have to feel bad!” She quickly tries to appease me after affirming the truth.

So, in the end, I still raped her… Regardless of what the victim’s feelings are, what I did is still irredeemable.

“How can you still trust me then Susan? I raped you without even realizing it. I don’t even know how it happened. It was like I wasn’t myself. What if I similarly forced myself on someone else, like a friend of yours for example?” I said to her in a subdued voice. No matter how sickening my words were, I had to make her realize the possibility.

“You don’t have to worry, Mike. I will take on all your lust. You will be so busy with me that you won’t dare to look at other women. I am your wife, after all, just trust me.”

I chuckle hearing her claim that.

“Shouldn’t it be girlfriend? Where did the wife part come from? Ahahaha.”

“You smiled! Finally, I made Mike smile!” She gleams as she hugs onto me. It’s still true, when had it been since I last smiled?

“Thanks, Susan.”

“For what?” She asks with uncertainty.

“Thanks for believing in me despite being the man I am. I will promise to not let your hopes down.” Her warm feelings manage to get through me. Even though I should have no right to, the self-inflicted days of loneliness had long since made me desperate. Just a simple form of affection was enough to waver my heart.

“Anything for my Mike!” Susan smirks as she pulls my cheek.

I feel like I am forgetting something important. Oh, wait…

“By the way, Susan, why are we trying to go to the outside world? Aren’t there monsters and stuff out there?”

“Oh, you’ll know soon enough ♡.”

She winks mysteriously, acting like a feverish child entering her favourite carnival ride. Whatever the hell is going on around here, we will soon know.

She leads me on, grabbing my arm. We look like a pair of lovebirds, quite unlike the distant behaviour we showed earlier. After some more security checks, they finally let us through a long metal passage. The security is incredibly tight here.

Finally, after going through one last single door, I feel the powerful air blast at us. I can smell the fresh air of outside and… perfume?

“We’re here, Mike! Welcome to Eucidia!” She says as her hands spread wide, welcoming me to this foreign land.

…

I simply couldn’t believe what I had seen back then.