Razmatazz

  He stared into my eyes this time. Just now when he killed me. It hurts a lot, dying, but he didn’t do that last time, so this was pretty nice. Though I didn’t exactly have eyes that time either. He has really nice eyes, you know? The orange bits really stick out from the blue of his pupils. I think I’m really starting to get to know him at this point. How often has he killed me? I just wish he’d tell me his name, but well, you know. He doesn’t speak goblin. Or slime. Or bat. Or mimic or whatever else I happen to be around that time, when the hero comes around to the bottom of the dungeon.

  Monsters can talk to each other for the most part. Some of them use words in their own garbled languages and some of them use expressions and gesticulations and grunts to communicate. Some of the even cooler ones get to use magic and telekinesis, but I only get to be one of them maybe every twenty to thirty goes, give or take, and then the dungeon-master is a real hard-ass, you know? It’s hardly worth the stress, really. Especially when the killings start. Oof. They don’t go easy on the casters, those adventurers, tell you what. Most trash mobs in this dungeon don’t use magic thankfully. Just the really fancy ones. Just the special ones. In this particular dungeon, just the undead casters. So they get targeted first and hit hard. I’m not usually one of them, thankfully. But that’s okay like I said. Am I repeating myself? Hmm. It’s more relaxing to just be a slime you know? Anyways I’m rambling. The point was that humans and monsters can’t really talk. Not that they ever try.

  Eating a mushroom or some rocks or something as a slime is really great. It’s like you can taste all sorts of things you couldn’t as something else. One time I got somebody’s boot, I think it was the priestess’ and man, I was in heaven. Literally. Because they killed me like ten seconds later. But boy, those ten seconds. Oof. Gourmet leather, guy. Unless you’re like a zombie. Then it’s really awkward trying to be buddies with the slimes. They can get really grabby if you have meat, you know? Even if you’re a fellow monster. And the adventurers go harder on you the bigger you are.

Ah- it still hurts. I can still feel it. Did he stab me in the heart this time? What a great guy. They're already becoming blurry. The memories from this life. That was nice of him I guess. He must have been in a good mood this run, to make it quick like this. Ah, I’m so jealous. I wonder what it’s like to be a human. I’ve forgotten at this point. Wait.

Was I ever human? I don’t remember. Did I have a name before? Hmm. No, I think I was always a trash-mob.

  Oh man. How long has it been? I must still be bleeding out. Being a goblin is always okay, I guess. But dying as a goblin really blows. There’s so much that can be cut off. Legs, arms, fingers. Ah. I hope I can be a skeleton next time. Not a caster, but one of those front-line ones with the swords and shields. I want to ask him his name, if I remember to do it, the hero, I mean. Though skeletons only shriek, so that probably won’t work. Slimes and undead don’t feel pain, they don’t have the nerves. Literally. You just kind of exist. It’s hard to explain. I think I’m a unique case though. The others around me don’t quite seem to be as aware of the situation as I am. As awake. The dungeon-master, the big guy, the head honcho, the man with the plan, always does his best and I think he’s a sentient being too. Honestly he’s probably the smartest one down here among us. I think a lot of them are actually sentient, now that I think about it a little more, except for the slimes and undead really, which are the mass of the populace here.

Apart from myself, when I’m one of them that is. They’re more like crude animals in a way. But I don’t think he’s ever stopped the adventurers, the dungeon-master, that is. Bear with me, I tend to drift when I talk. I don’t think he ever beat the hero. Glad I’m not him really. It must suck to be the final boss.

  But he doesn’t seem to know either. That we respawn. None of them do except for me I think. It was kind of annoying at first. I felt crazy trying to talk to them and ask them about what just happened. But now after all this time and all these lives I’ve really come to embrace the lifestyle. It’s very dynamic. Today I was Zeg’zal the goblin. Last time I was a mimic in the treasury. No name. Mimics don’t have names. Oh I almost got them real good that time. But when one of them got close, I couldn’t help but laugh a little and I blew my own cover. So that sucked. The fireball really hurt. Turns out mimics have nerves and can feel things. Why? I don’t know. Also it turns out that the hero can use magic too despite being the sword guy of the group. Talk about unfair. Why does he even have a party if he can do everything himself? And why are they all girls except for him? Seems weird. I don’t judge man, but I don’t get it. Ah. I can’t feel it anymore. My body. Guess it’s time for the next run.

  There it is. That darkness. It’s so cold. Uf. Fingers crossed. Skeleton. Skeleton. Come on baby, skel-!