Chapter 23. You’re all hopeless
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"No."

Xuelan's response was immediate, without the slightest millisecond of hesitation.

"Kien — my ex-boyfriend — isn't perfect, but I don't want to see him die. We may have broken up before, but I don't have any hard feelings from when we used to date. I'd like to wish him the very best in his life. I don't think he's the right one for me, but it doesn't mean that I hate him."

The red-haired incubus narrowed his eyes.

"You don't hate him for dragging you down to Hell?"

The 24-year-old woman's gaze slowly drooped to the ground.

"...I don't hate people easily," she whispered.

"But you don't like it?"

"...I can see why he did this."

"That wasn't my question."

"I'll adapt to this. I'm flexible and resilient. I'm better suited for this than ordinary people."

Neiel suddenly stood up in exasperation.

The incubus suddenly looked angry for no reason, and he yanked open the door of the cage. He reached inside with his hand, seized Xuelan's arm, and dragged her outside underneath the plain moonlight. The naked girl stumbled slightly on the rocky gravel and nearly tripped. The sharp pebbles at the bottom of the ravine dug painfully into her bare feet, but there wasn't much of a reaction on her face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Neiel growled at her.

"...What's wrong with me?"

"You're fucked up somewhere."

"...I mean, I guess so... isn't that the case for a lot of people?"

"I've seen many fresh women come through Hell. You're not as bothered by all of this as you should be."

"I'm not?"

"You're awfully defensive of your abusers. Kien stole away all of your entire future as an independent human being. I assaulted, strangled, raped, and destroyed you half an hour ago, yet you're already totally happy to have a normal conversation with me. I'd even venture to say that you don't even hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"That's not normal."

"People often tell me that I'm a masochist."

"That's completely irrelevant. And besides, I don't see you getting sexually aroused by torture."

"Some of it is kind of hot, I guess. Maybe. Well, not everything, but a some of it? I'm not sure."

Neiel narrowed his eyes further and stepped closer to Xuelan.

"You are lying to yourself. It pisses me off just watching you trying to justify everything that is happening to you."

+ + +

"You have a self-esteem problem," he said firmly.

Xuelan hesitated.

"Is that why you submit to your ex-boyfriend? The reason why you allow yourself to be used, raped, and fucked over and over?"

The incubus suddenly grabbed the girl's hair with his fist and pulled tightly.

"I've never seen you trying to seriously resist," he growled. "You just lay there and take everything quietly."

Xuelan tried to pull away weakly, but her actions were not very convincing.

"How much do you think you're worth? Does it feel cathartic to be objectified? Humiliated? Trampled on?"

"Let... go of me..."

"Is this why you're secretly happy to be his slave? Even when he mistreats you and neglects to feed you?"

"I'm not secretly happy to be a slave."

"Really? I'm not sure that's what I see with my eyes."

"It's just a little BDSM."

"I don't think being an unconditional sex slave in Hell for the rest of eternity qualifies as BDSM."

"I can get used to this. I'll make it work."

"You deserve more than this. You can get away from him. Let me help you."

"He needs me. And he wants me."

"And your needs aren't important?"

"...I want to help others..."

"Fuck you. Damn everything. You're hopeless."

Neiel shoved the black-haired girl away in disgust.

+ + +

Xuelan crumbled onto the ground, her knees bruised on the sharp gravel.

Her hair was a ragged mess, like a dirty street hag who hadn't received a clean shower in days.

She slowly lifted her head and looked at the red-haired incubus who was pacing restlessly in circles.

"I want to negotiate with you," Xuelan said.

"What?"

"You're stronger than Kien. I want you to spare his life. I'll pay for it with my body."

"No. I refuse."

"I'll suck you off."

"Fuck no. And if you think acting like a slut is what Kien would want, you're completely delusional."

"Can you forgive him, then?"

"Xue, you're sick in the head. It pisses me off."

"Then let us go. You have no reason to keep bothering us."

"You're reminding me of my daughter, and I fucking hate seeing all the similarities. It pisses me off so much that I just want to murder that asshole just to put an end to all of this. He needs to be dead, and you need to stay far away from him."

"I won't let you kill him."

Xuelan suddenly grabbed the incubus's wrist with her right hand.

She looked at Neiel's ice blue eyes with a blank expression in her amber pupils.

"You have no right to interfere in my life."

+ + +

("Xue, do it now.")

There was a sudden whisper in her head.

Xuelan felt the fingers in her left hand tapering into claws. The transformation was subtle, and a thin layer of ink-black scale slowly coated her nails, turning them into razor-sharp blades as hard as diamonds.

("Stab him through the heart. Don't miss. You must kill him in one stroke.")

A flicker of confusion passed through Xuelan's eyes.

Wait. What?

But she didn't want to kill Neiel.

She didn't want either of them to die.

("Do it.")

Xuelan didn't move.

Without warning, Xuelan's hand abruptly moved without her control. 

She realized all of a sudden that Kien had temporarily taken command of her body, and forced her to attack the incubus against her will.

A look of horror appeared in her eyes, and she blindly wrenched her arm to the side. Her last-minute action shifted the trajectory of her clawed hand to the left. It only drifted to the side a few inches, but it was just enough to barely miss the vital point on the red-haired incubus. Xuelan's hand shot forward like a lightning bolt, and it skewered the man through the center of his chest.

There was a splatter of blood.

Xuelan felt the hot crimson fluid spray all over her face.

There was a look of shock on both their eyes.

+ + +

Kien sprang out of a hidden shadow, firing the two guns in his hands in a desperate attempt to salvage the failed assassination attempt. Bright blinding flashes emerged from the firearm muzzles, and they discharged in rapid succession with empty casings flying out in the air.

Most of the bullets landed right on their target, blasting small holes through the red-haired incubus, but Neiel hardly budged from his spot.

He was like a rock solid mountain, unmoving in the face of a torrential rainstorm.

"So that's the way it's going to be, is it?" Neiel whispered bitterly.

He kicked Xuelan away from him, and she immediately crumbled to the ground in pure shock.

Neiel slowly turned around.

A massive bloody hole was gaping in his chest.

Kien was still firing at him, and he quickly emptied a full magazine clip into the wounded incubus. However, none of the bullets seemed to be effective, and they fazed the monstrous demon no more than .22 caliber bullets tickling a grizzly bear.

The red-haired incubus suddenly swept forward like a vengeful gust of wind.

In a blink of an eye, his silver knife pierced straight through Kien's heart.

"Hopeless trash," Neiel spat.

The black demon screamed.

 

I hope the conclusion of this arc doesn't make too many people upset...

As a brief note, Xue is still together with Kien. She's not a normal slave, and she is quite unusually "soul-bound" to him, meaning that her ownership doesn't transfer even when Kien is killed (Neiel is mistaken about this). Both of them will be dropping down a World in the next chapter, so this story about their flawed and complicated relationship continues...

I am a little worried that Xue's behavior in this chapter comes a little too far from left field. I realize many readers relate closely to either Xue, Kien, or Neiel, and none of them come out happy in this rendition of the ending. Is it hard to understand Xue when she is like this? I tried to hint a little bit about her emotional problems with references to her prior behavior online (i.e. her nudes and "fat old men"), but maybe it seems abrupt the way it suddenly flared out like this. She is a high-performing individual though, so perhaps her darker aspects aren't always the most obvious at first glance.

Truthfully, Xue is closely modeled after myself. My own relationship with BDSM (and submissive/masochistic things) is riddled with complicated baggage and mixed feelings, and it's very hard to illustrate it with all of its complexities and nuances. I was hoping to float the edge of borderline toxicity, but it's a narrow target to hit safely... I just hope it isn't too dark for the readers who are simply here for the smut.

Ultimately, this is a story about about imperfect characters, an imperfect couple, and imperfect relationship... in a nightmarish world filled with all kinds of bad things. There are good times together, yet also miserable parts.

Limits are crossed and serious mistakes are made. A lot of things are deeply twisted.

But I hope you're willing to indulge my fantasy of trying to fit all the broken pieces together.

I can't say I exactly recommend it, though.

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