Acceptance of the Self

Book 1: Attunement of the Hearts

Chapter 18.ma - Proof

___________________ ღ♥ღ ___________________

Madelaine

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

 

[ - Sunday Sept. 08 2019, moments after chapter 17, Jay’s Study - ]

 

Here goes nothing, I think to Ellie.

 

You got this! she cheers from the viewing tree.

 

“My name is Madelaine,” I tell Jay, “Ellie is here too. And there’s a woman named Anne who started appearing to us and talking to us this week.”

 

Dawn’s dad is looking at me intently, he nods along as I speak.

 

“Anne is, um, from a different world we think,” I continue. “We can see into her world sometimes, and she can see into ours.”

 

“We took notes on the whole situation so far, when they explained it to me,” Dawn adds. She turns to me. “Would you like me to grab them?”

 

I nod. “Yeah, that’d be good,” I reply.

 

She smiles and hops off her stool. “Want anything from the kitchen, any of you?” she asks chipperly.

 

“I’ve got my water,” Jay says, gesturing to the reusable plastic water bottle on his desk.

 

“We’ll take a glass of water,” I say with a grateful smile.

 

“Cool! I’ll be right back.” She leaves, opening and closing the door quietly.

 

There’s quiet between Jay and I for a moment. 

 

Then he asks, “Would you like to wait until Dawn’s back, or talk one on one with me?”

 

I hesitate. 

 

Would you be willing to switch with me? Ellie asks, I have a question for him.

 

Absolutely! I reply, relieved that I don’t have to make any other decisions.

 

Ellie steps into the viewing tree screen, and I swear I feel her breath on the back of my neck as I pass her by going the other way. 

 

I poof! into existence before the viewing screen. Ellie focuses our eyes sharply on Jay. 

 

“We can talk a bit now,” she says, her voice echoing through the viewing tree.“Madelaine just switched back inside, I’m Ellie. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

 

I settle onto a comfy armchair in the middle of the viewing screen area.

 

Jay smiles. “It’s nice to meet you too, Ellie.”

 

“Thanks,” she replies, “Can I start by asking a question?”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Do you think there’s people in this world that can do magic? Like, actual fireballs and stuff?”

 

Jay purses his lips. “I haven’t met any myself, but we have millennia of folk tales telling us that it’s possible.”

 

I cock my head to the side, pondering that.

 

“I didn’t know those counted,” Ellie admits.

 

“They do for me,” Jay says confidently, “Oral history stretches back much farther than written history, and the world would do well to learn from the various indigenous groups keeping their spoken histories alive.”

 

Okay, that makes sense, I think to myself.

 

Yeah I guess, Ellie replies internally, gods know we can’t trust the American education system. 

 

“So, what kind of proof would you say is needed to tell if Anne actually is in another world?” she asks aloud.

 

Jay smiles and nods. “Good question,” he answers, “At this point I’d like to hear the whole story, and get all of your system’s opinions on it, and talk to Anne herself if possible. Then we’ll think about next steps. With your all’s permission, I might consult with my paranormally inclined friends.”

 

“Sweet!” Ellie responds, and then adds, “My opinion is that Anne is telling the truth as best she can.”

 

You’re up! she says. I’m going to find Anne.

 

Do it! I think with a smile. I close my eyes and step forward as she steps back. In moments I’m sitting before Jay with my hands clasped in my lap.

 

“Hi,” I say awkwardly, “Maddie here again.” 

 

Jay’s eyes brighten with understanding. “Hello Maddie,” he says warmly. 

 

I smile at him with sincerity. “I agree with Ellie at this point, I think. I’ve been trying to look at this from all angles. And as skeptical as I was at first, Anne’s slowly convinced me that she’s at least being truthful about what she believes is going on. If that’s actually right? No clue,” I say.

 

I put a curled finger to my chin in thought. “Also, we asked Anne to try out some of her magic here in our world, and she was able to make a little light spell work for a brief moment. Dawn saw it too.”

 

Jay stares at me intensely. “You’re saying both you and people external to your system can see her magic?”

 

“Apparently?” I hazard.

 

Just then there’s a bump against the door, and it opens to reveal Dawn carrying the loose leaf note papers in her armpit and a glass of water in each hand.

 

“Delivery!” she calls cheerfully.

 

“Thank you Dawn,” Jay says.

 

“Yeah thank you!” I take one of the water glasses gingerly and set it down on the desk in front of me.

 

“Alrighty, here’s the notes!” Dawn announces triumphantly, setting the stack of paper down in front of Jay and taking a sip of her own water glass.

 

I catch sight of the first few lines and hastily say, “E is what Ellie and I called ourselves for a bit, then E became Ellie’s first name and not-E became mine. We only chose our current names yesterday.”

 

“And we wrote down these notes yesterday morning,” Dawn adds.

 

“Gotcha,” Jay says, “let me read through these and I’ll let you know if I have questions.”

 

“Of course,” I reply with a smile.

___________________ ღ♥ღ ___________________

Anne

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

I slip into existence on my side of the root bridge that links my mind to Ellie and Madelaine’s. Almost immediately I feel the light burning of well-used muscles coming from our physical body. 

 

About time you came back, Amira thinks at me.

 

I sigh. The sooner they learn how to take care of themselves, the sooner we’ll be safe. Or at least safer. They’re part of our team now Mira.

 

Amira rolls our eyes in the physical world. I know, I know, they say, but that doesn’t mean I like you being gone for so long every day.

 

I smile and teleport myself into the massive viewing room in Amira’s mind-castle. It feels nice to be in her part of our mind space, it’s like I’m closer to her heart.

 

How was patrol today? I ask. I’d been popping back here fairly regularly so there’s really only an hour or so I missed.

 

Same old same old, Amira replies, helped a couple of southerners settle into the Academy district, they’ll probably start teaching about their people’s culture.

 

That’s awesome! I exclaim, I’m so glad you didn’t run into any trouble with getting their identities set up. 

 

They grimace internally. It’s getting harder and harder to smuggle people in and out, now that travel to Ellustian has closed its gates.

 

Still no word on why that is? I ask worriedly. Ellustian is the central city-state in the cell we inhabit, it used to be the center of commerce, but it had shut its gates to everyone without warning about two weeks ago. That kind of thing isn’t unheard of, if plague or anarchy breaks out within a city’s walls, but usually there would be requests for aid sent to the other civilizations. As far as anyone we know knows, no such requests have come out of Ellustian. 

 

None, Mira answers flatly.

 

Damn, I say.

 

Fuck, Amira agrees.

 

I smile, happy that Amira likes Ellie and Maddie enough to adopt their slang. 

 

Out in the physical world, I sense Amira blushing ever so slightly. It’s just, it’s just a good word! they protest.

 

Very versatile, and very alien, I say slyly.

 

Amira poof!s into existence beside me, crossing their black-armored arms and pouting at me. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re teasing me about this,” they growl. 

 

“Oh yes you can,” I say, unable to stop smiling. Amira’s tough act is extremely cute when she’s flustered.

 

Now her face inside our mind burns just as much as the one outside. 

 

“You’re lucky we’re dating,” she says, “or I’d wipe that smile off your face.”

 

“Sure you would,” I tease, “you wouldn’t be at all tongue tied around a pretty girl like me.”

 

She poof!s back out of existence and resumes control of our body. 

 

I have to finish this patrol, she thinks at me stonily.

 

Of course of course, I say, I’ll stop teasing you.

 

Amira’s cheeks slowly simmer down as she returns to keeping watch over the cobblestone Academy street she’s walking down.

 

I watch her for a time. But it isn’t long before I feel a tug at the edge of my thoughts. I recognize Ellie’s presence reaching out to me from beyond the fog. 

 

Anne? she asks.

 

I’m here, I reply.

 

Awesome. We’re talking to Jay about you right now, would you like to come speak with him? He’d like to meet you.

 

I ponder this for a few moments, impressed that they had already revealed my existence to another friend. 

 

Amira, I begin, before she cuts me off.

 

Go, she says, I’ll hold down the fort here.

 

Thank you, love, I say with a smile.

 

It is the work of seconds before I am slipping through the fog and following the bridge to Ellie and Maddie’s island. When I arrive, I teleport myself directly to their viewing screen.

 

“Thanks for coming!” Ellie says from beside me. 

 

Yeah thank you, Maddie echoes. They’re in the physical body, focusing their eyes on Dawn’s shorter father: Jay. He’s seated across from them in a leather-padded chair. Dawn’s just finishing up explaining what she saw from my first magical experiment here. 

 

“Anne’s just arrived,” Maddie says aloud as soon as Dawn’s finished, “I’ll let her take the front now.”

 

“Sweet,” Dawn says.

 

“Thank you Madelaine,” Jay says with a nod.

 

A moment later Maddie poof!s into existence on Ellie’s other side. 

 

“You’re up buttercup,” they say to me with a smile.

 

I roll my internal eyes, then step forward into their external body.

 

When I arrive, I find Jay looking at me discerningly. 

 

“Hello,” I say, “I’m Anne, as you know.”

 

“Hi Anne,” Jay says with a smile, “It’s good to meet you.”

 

“Likewise,” I reply with a smile of my own.

 

“So Dawn and Madelaine tell me that you’ve already tried some magic here?” he prompts.

 

“Yes, I am not entirely sure how magic in this world works, but I was able to cast a small light spell using techniques from my homeland.”

 

“Would you be willing to try something like that again?” he asks, “I’m very keen to see it in action, but I don’t want to put pressure on you.”

 

“A lot of the rules of magic, at least the magic I’m familiar with, rely on belief,” I say in answer. “Do you actually believe this has a chance of working?”

 

“Yes,” Jay replies, seemingly sincere, “I do.”

 

I nod. “Then yes, I can try again. I’ll need some space though, so I can concentrate. Last time Dawn left for a moment and I believe that was crucial to my success.”

 

“Of course,” Jay says. “Would you be willing to let me record it? Perhaps that way you won’t have to show it each time you share your abilities with someone new?”

 

I raise my eyebrows. “That would be very helpful yes, thank you.” 

 

“Of course,” Jay says, “I know how exhausting it is to try and get people to believe you.”

 

I sense Maddie and Ellie glancing pointedly at each other in their viewing room. The three of us are each intrigued to find out what this man has had to try to get people to believe.

 

To my surprise, Jay pushes back his chair and stands up. “Let me get things set up, we can do this right now if you’d like,” he says. 

 

“Oh, yes,” I say, “That works for me.”

 

He smiles and turns to the bookshelf behind him, selecting a couple of interesting objects off of it. 

 

“What kinds of recording are you going to set up?” Dawn asks from beside me. 

 

Jay flashes her a smile. “Thermal camera, regular camera, a sensitive mic, and an EMF reader for starters,” he replies.

 

Ellie and Maddie guess that the small ‘flip-phone-looking-thing’ in his left hand is the microphone, while the strange black rectangle with bands of color going from green to yellow to red is the ‘ElectroMagnetic Field meter’.

 

Jay sets these devices down on the desk, then kneels and rummages around in the bottom drawer of the wardrobe beside him. 

 

Dawn turns and slides over a sheet of notes towards us. I recognize it immediately as the page I wrote down a number of beginner’s spell glyphs on. 

 

“Thanks,” I say to her, once again focusing my attention on the sigil representing light. It requires the least amount of energy to produce a noticeable effect on the world around me, and is also the safest spell should something go awry.

 

Jay rises moments later, pulling out what Ellie and Madelaine call a ‘large, nice-looking camera’. It looks similar to image capturing devices back in my world that come from the city of Sulvitria, far to the north east, though I'm far from familiar with their operation.

 

“Alrighty,” Jay says, “I’m turning these all on, and then Dawn and I can go out into the hallway and give you some space. Let us know when you’re ready to demonstrate?”

 

I nod at him. “I shall,” I say.

 

With that, Jay turns on the camera and sets it on a little tripod on a shelf facing the desk and me. Then he and Dawn file out of the room.

 

I immediately set to work attuning myself to Ellie and Maddie’s body. It’s a bit shorter and stockier than I’m used to, but I find I don’t feel any dysphoria while acclimating to it. It’s my friends’ body, and I’m able to keep that distinction in mind easily enough. 

 

Once again I let a wave of relaxation wash through my physical limbs, deepening my breathing as I do.

 

You’ve got this, Ellie thinks to me.

 

Yeah, you do, Maddie agrees. 

 

I smile as they both retreat outside the viewing tree. This time, with their belief bolstering my focus, I’m able to bring myself into alignment with the world around me much faster. 

 

I can do this. I know I can. And now I have two external people who believe I can as well. 

 

I slowly use my right forefinger to trace a circle around the edges of the written light glyph, firmly willing a boundary to come into being. Once the circle is complete, I again close my eyes and slow my breathing. 

 

I envision the world around me as a grid with sparse particles of magic floating about it in a way I can’t understand. Inside my circle, I imagine a vast, deep hole opening up in the grid, it stretches and expands into a huge space devoid of all energy - including this world's magic. Back home, magic abhors a void and thus tends to spread out relatively evenly throughout the land. When one casts a spell using the magic in the world around them, the broader area's energy rushes in to fill the newly created void.

 

My hope is that the magic here works similarly, and so by creating this imagined pocket of reality I can draw the magic into my circle and contain it there for use in my spell. After about five minutes of concentration, I carefully close the pocket dimension in my mind: pushing all the magic accumulated in it back out into this world, hopefully, where it’ll be captured in the reinforced circle on the page before me. I open my eyes and stare down at the paper. It's faint, but I can feel a power thrumming there now, centered on the light sigil.

 

“I’m ready,” I call out to Jay and Dawn. I hear them come into the room behind me, but I pay them no heed. My focus is entirely on maintaining the circle and condensing the magic inside of it into a form I’m more familiar with. 

 

Once it’s ready, I don’t hesitate. I push the magic into the sigil with my mind’s eye and watch with delight as the lines on the paper flash brightly with white light.

 

I hear Jay and Dawn both gasp as the light flares up and then dies away. 

 

“Yes!” Dawn exclaims excitedly.

 

“Holy shit,” Jay says quietly.

 

“There you go,” I say with a relieved smile. “Proof.”

End of 

Chapter 18.ma - Proof