“BOSS, WATCH OUT!” I run towards the Boss with all the speed I can muster and scream so loudly it hurts my throat- all in the hopes of reaching him before it’s too late.

Even before I scream, though, he turns and sees the danger. He must have read my facial expression and seen the signs of terror with those eyes of his, because otherwise his impressive reaction time wouldn’t make sense.

With a twist of his neck Boss stares down the immense adult Brood Wolf, drooling with ravenous hunger as it races towards him with reckless abandon. He makes a split second decision to throw the last few pork chops left in the bloody bag out behind him to the left while sprinting in my direction. The huge monster’s ravenous appetite is instantly drawn in by the nearest, easiest food available, and it darts after the bag of pork with barely a second thought in it’s dumb mind.

The move bought him scant few seconds, but it’s more than enough for me to close the distance and put myself and my big sword between the wolf and my man. I stand at attention, ready for battle as it scarfs down the pitiful few last slices of pork.

“Boss, I thought you said-”

“I know what I said! This is NOT normal Brood Wolf behaviour, there shouldn’t be an adult anywhere near a pack of adolescent wolves!” Worry stains his typically smooth voice. “Where’s Zuzu?!”

“Tired!” My grip tightens and I ready my sword for whatever comes next. The monster’s attention could only be drawn for so long by the meager scraps, it’s already back to salivating at the nearest hunk of meat.

Me.

“What do I do?!” I shout determinately to the man with the plan.

“Sam... I don’t...” Fear makes his voice shakier than normal. I can’t turn back to face him, not with this giant wolf the size of a horse and carriage now staring me down, but I can tell for sure Boss is panicked.

I take a step forward, my boot digging firmly into the earth below as I keep my sword posture straight, just like he taught me. “You don’t have any fancy tricks to tell me, or weaknesses this thing has?”

“We... we need to run. Head back to Zuzu and find something to distract it with- I... I don’t see any other options.” 

“I don’t think we can run from this thing.” I spit out under my breath.

Boss is silent, like I expected.

“Go.”

“Sam, you don’t think I’d just le-”

“GO!!”

The silence is thick until finally I hear the telltale signs of Boss hightailing it outta here. Good. No sense in both of us dying here, not if he can make it to Zuzu.

I’ll be the distraction, It’s the only choice.

I grit my teeth and watch as the adult Brood Wolf bellows a powerful, ear-shattering roar and picks up speed once again to attack me with all it’s got. It leaps into the air, opening its jaws and biting down in an attempt to chomp me right in two with its powerful teeth.

I’m not having it, I jump right in and defensively thrust my sword into its mouth horizontally, holding it in place but just barely. Every last single muscle in my body instantly sears with intense, burning pain. I’m sure I just tore probably all of them but I don’t care- it’s all on me.

We both land on the ground and a tug of war ensues. The massive wolf tries to shake me off of my sword, drool and rancid dog breath flying through the air, while I dig my feet into the ground using my royal strength.

“I’m not moving from this spot, you bastard!” I shout between exasperated breaths.

The Brood Wolf growls in response, vibrating my sword still stuck fast in its teeth. He’s a persistent pup, I’ll give him that... I need to take him by surprise if I’m going to get some sort of advantage here...!

I let go of my sword grip with my right hand for only a split second and it almost cost me my position, but I put my entire body into a massive punch, smashing it into the huge muzzle of the beast and sending a shower of blood flying out of its fist-cratered nose. 

It staggers back and drops my hefty sword from its teeth as it whines a long, miserable whine. Even so, the damn thing recovers quick enough and rears its gigantic fangs at me once again.

What the hell am I supposed to do in this situation?

This isn’t anything like fighting Slimes, or Living Fungi... I could actually die here. This is actual combat with a real, true monster...!

Gotta stay calm, I gotta... stay... calm.

Instead of overthinking it and losing my small advantage I gotta focus on the biggest damn problem, this massive canine’s, er, canines. 

As soon as the wolf dashes towards me I scream as loudly as I can, swinging wildly with my great blade and putting in as much power as I can and sending it smashing into the teeth of the Brood Wolf... only nothing happens. My blade bounces off with an ear piercing clang and the monster’s chompers are none the worse for wear.

The sensation must’ve been unpleasant at the very least because it rears its head for just a second before toppling me and pinning my body beneath it’s impressive paw. My sword slides across the ground as soon as it knocks me over. This damn monster’s so big that it can keep my entire torso trapped against the ground with just one of its hulking feet. 

“You... fucking... dumbass demon... wolf!” I bark, the pressure on my torso causing me to spit up a bit of my blood along with the insults.

I don’t know if this thing can understand my words or not, but it’s definitely fucking pissed off. It roars in my face and I can see down its horrifying throat. I’m met with the grim realization that this thing is doing its damned hardest to eat me, and there ain’t much I can do about it.

Fuck. THAT.

As the Brood Wolf drops its ugly mug down to bite my head off, I wiggle my arms free and at the last second I grab a single fang on the top and bottom sides of its jaw. This stupid ass bloodline of mine... this supernatural strength... I didn’t ever fucking ask for it, but it’s always been a part of me.

For the first time in my life, I’m asking you, no, BEGGING you, give... me... fucking... MORE OF IT!

“GRRRRHHH!!” I scream behind gritted teeth, my arms bulging with power as I stop the jaws of the massive wolf from closing down over my head using nothing but my bare hands.

This hurts.

It hurts so fucking much, gods- but it don’t hurt NEARLY as much as the alternative. I scream and I grunt and I cry and I struggle until finally I rip the goddamn fangs out of their bloody sockets, sending the wolf back roaring in pain it’s never come close to feeling before.

I’m free! Haha, fuck yeah!

I do whatever I can to stand up, but it’s a huge effort to merely stay on my feet without falling over. I’m not the brightest. I don’t know enough to say whether I actually got more power when I asked for it or if I already had it to begin with, but all I know is that little stunt took a hell of a toll on my body.

But I can’t let up now...

I dash towards the monster while it’s in its staggered state, wielding one of its large, sword-sized fangs in each of my hands. Every step I take sends a brand new shock wave of pain throughout my body but in response I just clench the fangs tighter to distract myself even just a little.

Before the bastard knows what hit him I jump up into the air and land on its face, straddling the massive muzzle between my aching thighs.

With a single, decisive show of power I scream and smash the fangs straight into the Brood Wolf’s eyes. An explosion of ocular viscera jets from its ruptured orbs and the monster howls so hard my ears ring, and I lose my balance as it bucks and spasms.

I fall clean off the beast and tumble painfully down to the grassy ground with a painful thud. This... damn monster... better have gotten the point... cause I can already tell I ain’t getting up after a move like that.

The wolf is angry, confused, and in great pain...

Heh... Good.

That’s what you fucking get for going after my man.

But it's not over yet, apparently. Even after using everything I got and then some to try and scare this demon into running home with its spiky tail between its legs it still wasn’t enough. The evil beast is still standing even after I broke its nose, ripped its teeth out and popped its eyes.

All I ended up doing was making it madder and hungrier. Fuck...

It’s coming right towards me, fuck, why is this thing still so fast after all that damage...? How does it know exactly where I am? I have to stand up... gotta... grab my sword... and... 

“Fu... Fuhreez... IN!” 

A cold wind flickering with the dust of tiny diamonds swooshes in from out of the blue, coiling the monstrous wolf in a cyclone of arctic chillness. From the beast’s feet upwards large formations of ice crackle into existence spurred on by the sound of encroaching frost. The formation grows up and up the wolf’s body until over half of him is encased in shining ice. The beast tries its best to rampage and shatter the cold prison, but it’s too late.

Zuzu pinned the fucker down better than ever could.

I weakly turn around to see Boss, completely out of breath from having run to the farmhouse and back. He’s carrying my petite, magical friend piggyback style and she too is on the verge of passing out. 

“Took ya long enough, Daddy...”

Boss sets Zuzu down on the grassy ground delicately, like a precious doll or something, before running hastily to my side. Wish he didn’t have to see me like this, it’s not exactly my finest showing. I look like... I dunno... something that looks shitty. But not just shitty, like... SUPER shitty. I look bad, and I kinda hope he still thinks I’m pretty.

A-Anyway, I think the spell wiped Zuzu the fuck out, she hasn’t said a word. She was already on the verge of passing out when our first round was over so thank all the gods in all the realms for her managing to cast another spell... especially a vocal one at that.

We all might’ve died without her just now.

“Can you get up?” He hunches over me, extending a hand for me to grab. “You need to get in there and strike the killing blow. There’s no way I’m strong enough to do it.”

He must have some serious confidence in his masculinity to admit that so readily to the girl he’s sharing his bed with, heh.

But he’s right. Even I could barely do any damage without straining my entire body for all it's got. I grab his pain... I mean his hand... and stand up painfully painful pain pain pain “OW, FUCK!”

As he pulls me up I stumble, my muscles giving out and sending me back to the ground below if it weren’t for Boss catching me mid fall.

“Sam...” He looks at me with intense concern, UGH I HATE feeling so useless, normally I’d trade my left tit to be held like this in his arms, but right now it’s just so... nnnggggghhhh...

“I pulled like... All of the muscles.”

“... Is that so?”

“Yes... Please tell me there’s a fucking healer in this shitty, blight-infested, asswipe of a town...” I sigh and push away from him, doing my best to steady my feet and stand on my own. Every muscle in my body, including some I never knew even existed, protest the action with everything they’ve got, but I need to finish this. I succeed by the skin of my teeth and somehow manage to avoid falling on my ass.

“Yes, don’t worry Sam, I’ll take care of it...” He frowns and places an arm on my shoulder. I swat if off, gotta stay focused. “Normally the Guild isn’t supposed to cover the expenses of wounded adventurers without a proper healer’s plan, but it’s a terrible, predatory system and I don’t want to force it on you. Especially when you don’t accept payment from the Quests you take. I’ll pay all the costs so please rest assu-”

“Sword.”

Boss does a double take as I interrupt him. He’s apprehensive, he doesn’t think I can do it. He’ll see. “Sam...”

“THE FUCKING THING NEEDS TO DIE, RIGHT?! SO GIVE ME THE DAMN SWORD!” I shout, hoping for him to get it together and do what I say.

He doesn’t like it but after I yell at him and put him in his place, he does what I command. Boss clumsily drags my sword across the ground to me, leaving a ragged trail of cut earth in his wake.

It’s way too heavy for him, which would be cute if I weren’t so fucking mad, impatient and ready to kill this piece of shit wolf.

“Fuck yeah.” I grin. “Time to finish the quest in style.” Step by painful step I make my way to the vainly struggling wolf encased by ice. It’s squirming, ain’t that fucking pitiful? Ain’t it just the best?!

Heh.

It deserves my fucking sword down its throat. Or maybe I should gut it? It tried to eat me. Tried to eat MY man as well. No one else fucking touches him. NO ONE.

Gods, really though how should I kill it!? Slowly? Painfully? Hell yes. Hm, Gutting it would be awful ironic for a beast that hungers with no end. Oh, maybe I should torture it and watch the light fade out of its devilish, creepy fucking eyes bit by bit...? Wait no, I already popped those fuckers with it’s own damn fangs!

“Heh... hehehe... HA HA HA HA HA!!” I fucking burst out into a fit of laughter, holy HELL I’m gonna enjoy this...! Using the last of my strength, I get ready to raise my blade-

Only to be stopped by Boss suddenly reaching out and grabbing my hand firmly with his, pulling me away from my sword..

What the fuck? Did he just... no. No, no no. He couldn’t have... but he did...

He...

DID.

How DARE he touch one of Royal blood such as myself without my express permission? I don’t care if he’s my man or not, I will NOT be manhandled as such. What a weak piece of SHIT- he’s not even strong enough to lift my sword and he thinks he can stop me?! What. A. Joke! 

I should fucking teach him a lesson he won’t soon forget, I- Wha... what? What... the fuck... is wrong with me...?!

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Sam? This... isn’t you.”

He’s right... Why am I thinking these thoughts?

“Boss...?”

He sighs and takes his glasses off, revealing the sternest expression he’s ever given me. I instantly feel bad. I can already tell that I... I failed him. I’m so sorry, Boss, I-

“This is just like that time in the village chief’s house. That look in your eyes, Sam. You’re crazed... blood thirsty. You need to stop before you fall even deeper.”

“But... it was going to eat you...”

“Yes, and it deserves to die!” He shouts at me, making me wince. “But not from you fucking impersonating a certain psychopathic butcher!”

Fuck, that fucking stings... but he’s completely right...

Boss looks me right in the eye point blank, making damn sure with all his might that he stares straight past them into my heart and soul. “Kill it. But don’t you dare fucking enjoy it, Sam. At least... not in the way you were about to.”

“Slap me.”

Boss is dumbfounded, and the serious expression leaves almost instantly. “... What?”

“C’mon, Boss! Slap it outta my system or I won’t be able to finish it off the right way!”

He nervously looks away. “I... I can’t just hit a woman, Sam, not outside of a sexual context at the very least. I mean honestly, I-”

“SLAP ME BEFORE I STAB THE DAMN THING 49 TIMES AND SHOVE MY SWORD UP ITS ASSHOLE!!” GODS the thought is so fucking awesome- I wanna kill it... and kill EVERYTHING that so much as even LOOKS at me the wrong way, I-

WHAP.

My cheek stings as Boss’s huge-ass man hand slaps me a right fucking good one, and my eyes start to water as soon as he does it. I stumble a bit but I firmly grasp my sword, grit my teeth and bare it. I don’t fall, falling is the enemy and I do NOT fall..

“Ngh. Fuck yeah that’s better, Boss.” I grin and flash my fang to him tiredly. I’m back, for now at least.

“You good now?” He asks with great concern. I feel sorry already for what I just put him through...

I don’t answer, I just jump onto the struggling wolf’s spiky back and after making sure I got stable footing I take a deeeeeeep breath.

Using what little power I have left from... whatever the hell that just was, I stab my great blade straight down into the Brood Wolf’s neck and after wrestling with its thick, wiry fur, I drive it past the rough hide and cleanly sever its spine. My blade pokes through the bottom of it’s throat, and just as easily I slide the sword out 

It howls a massive death howl, blood spurting from the wound like a macabre fountain. I jump off the dying wolf and barely land on my feet... My body still hurts, and I mean really, REALLY hurts.

Gods, I just realized I’m gonna be smelling like wolf blood for fucking WEEKS now... I don’t miss much about home, but I’d kill to just soak for like... a day in the royal hotsprings... fuck...

Boss runs to my side yet again. My breathing is ragged, I’m kinda scared, and I don’t know what the fuck’s going on with me mentally, emotionally or whatever the fuck else.

Naturally, this leaves me with one burning question in my mind.

“You’re gonna squeeze a FUCK of a lot more than 17k from that potion junky after this, right?”

He laughs and nods his head. “When I’m done with him, he’ll be lucky if he keeps the house.”

“That’s what I fucking wanted to hear, Boss.” I laugh really damn loud for a really long time before kinda just passing out then and there in his arms.