Merille Tillot, the Shaking Shield Maiden
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She was there the entire time.

“...”

The new girl sits quietly at the furthest table in the room, as far as she can get from me while still being technically ‘in’ the Guild. The closer I get to the armored maiden the harder her armour rattles from fear.

And that’s after we all got dressed.

For whatever reason, she’s letting Sam and Zutiria sit with her but not me. I can hardly imagine why...

This entire time her eyes haven’t left me, and she reminds me of a cornered animal who refuses to let its guard down for more than a millisecond. In a way that’s very befitting of her, assuming she actually is a Shield Maiden and that that’s not just my speculation.

I need to try and actually talk to her, the silence is getting unbearable.

“So-”

“I PROMISE I’LL BE GOOD, PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ME!” Merille Tillot jumps off of the table and runs to pick up her shield again, hiding behind it.

Why did she even bother setting down the massive thing if she was just going to do this?

Sam shoots me a super annoyed look. I don’t think she’s the type who can handle this kind of person very well...

That leaves the role of mediator entirely down to Zutiria, who I believe is up to the task despite her lack of people skills. She seems rather interested in Miss Tillot, which is a good start.

Still, this entire situation is just... just my luck. Why in the hell was I not warned there would be a transfer adventurer? This is incredibly against protocol to just foist off an adventurer from one Guild to another without even a single word of warning.

Maybe I’m just pessimistic but I can only imagine it’s because it was Dewhurst. Why bother giving me a heads up when my Guild is just a joke? The thought makes me angry because... I know it’s true.

As I get lost in my thoughts, Zutiria steps up and tries to talk to the new arrival.

If you’ll just let him explain, I promise it won’t be that bad.’ Zutiria says.

“Y-You don’t need to explain everything...” Merille says with a shaky voice. “I think I understand what’s going on in this G-Guild...”

Sam groans. “It’s not like that, gods... Are you dumb or something?”

“Yes! ...N-No! I don’t know!” She whines and her armor begins clanking again, evidently deciding she’s afraid of Sam as well.

Shhhhhh.’ Zutiria starts petting Merille’s head, once again mimicking how I pet her. ‘Look. You need to talk to him if you’re going to live here. Can you handle it?’

Merille raises her head to look at me from across the room. I watch as she tries to make a brave face and actually succeeds for a split moment before her confidence falters and she breaks our momentary eye contact.

“I-I can try...!!” She says as she looks down into her lap, setting her shield down against the wall behind her once again.

Sam stands up and sighs. “Let’s just get this out of the way before you try and hide behind it again.” She reaches for the shield to take it away but provokes an unexpected response out of the girl.

Merille stands up and with all seriousness sports a confident glare while grabbing Sam’s wrist. “Don’t. Hands off of MY shield.”

Sam is floored, as am I. Who the hell is this new girl that just replaced the shaking, trembling mess who walked in? But as soon as we process the abrupt change, Merille is back to normal. “Um... sorry. My shield is very important to me... I don’t like it when people touch it...”

Not knowing what to do, Sam just kinda looks at me and shrugs. “Sorry.”

For once, Merille smiles a genuine smile and Sam and I blush at seeing just how adorable the new girl is when she’s not trembling out of fear. “It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it!”

Sam looks away out of embarrassment, now unsure if she likes the new girl or not. “Well, alright then. Boss, you coming?”

Merille’s pulse begins to race as I draw closer to their table. “Miss... Tillot, was it?”

The armored girl nods her head while avoiding my gaze.

“I’m the Guild Master of Dewhurst’s Adventurer’s Guild. It’s a pleasure to meet you. May I see your letter of transfer?” I extend my hand and manage to take the envelope from her trembling grasp.

I open it up and read a bunch of bullshit pleasantries signed courtesy of one Gilver Glorigold, Guild Master of Perlshaw. Something, something ‘not the right environment for Miss Tillot’ something, something ‘placing her in your capable hands’. Bureaucratic nonsense. I should know because I happen to excel at writing such papers.

The heart of the matter between all this fluff and stuff is that plain and simple, Merille Tillot was judged not to be good enough for Perlshaw. Which is fairly unheard of. Guilds certainly have the power to evict an adventurer who lodges with them and recommend them to another one, but I can’t say I’ve ever witnessed it happen in my twenty-two years of management.

“Have you read this?” I ask her before handing it off to Zutiria since I know she’ll want to give it a once over.

“N... No...”

“It’s just a bunch of absolute nonsense from your former Guild Master. Pay it no mind. May I ask what exactly happened that resulted in your... transferral?” I hold myself back from saying eviction. “Sam, grab our guest some water would you?” For SOME reason, this girl is terrified of me and I need to do my best to lay on the charm and show I’m a decent person.

“Sure.” Sam shrugs once and ambles off to the kitchen.

Merille looks to Zutiria for comfort and the Mage squeezes her hand. “I-I’m... not good at it... adventuring... fighting... the only quests I can finish are f-fetch quests...”

“Did the Guild attempt to help you at all?”

Her face turns white as chalk and I can tell yet another fear has overtaken it. “The... the Guild Master... wanted to help...”

“And you didn’t accept it?”

“He wanted me to v-visit his office for some... ‘Tea’.” She bites her lip and actually manages to look me in the eyes briefly.

I slam my fists on the table, and unfortunately it’s right when Sam was returning and setting down a tankard of water. The water falls to the ground from the power of my outburst. “Boss, what the fuck?!”

“UNACCEPTABLE!” I shout in a blind rage.

“EEEP!” Merille jumps backwards and hides behind her shield again, meanwhile Zutiria just sighs.

I practically stomp my way out to my office to pick up my trusty weapons. I return bearing a sheet of paper, a pen, and an envelope addressed to the Association of Adventurers HQ.

In my raw fury I scribble out a very strongly worded letter alleging improper conduct and undue advances between Perlshaw’s Guild Master and an adventurer staying under his care.

Currently I’m mad as hell, so the irony of ME being the one to write such a letter is completely lost on me.

“W-what is he doing...?” Merille asks with an innocent curiosity to Sam who returns with yet more water, and a cloth to mop up the spillage.

“He’s doing what he does best,” Sam smiles a toothy grin. “Boring ass paperwork!”

For the first time in my presence, Merille lets out a relaxed giggle. I’m drawn to it, and it really, REALLY sinks in how adorable she is. She has this naive, good girl-like charm to her that makes her plenty attractive as-is when coupled with her sweet voice and round, cutesy face.

I can’t get a good look at her body, obviously, as it’s hidden behind a huge suit of armor.

“I’ll send this in the morning. It’s a letter to the main branch regarding the implications you just told me. Namely telling them to look into the actions of this ‘Gilver Glorigold’ fellow.”

Merille blushes heavily, “Oh, no. P-Please don’t trouble yourself... I’m fairly sure they already know about him... he’s...”

“HOLD THE FUCK UP!” Sam’s eyes go wide and she stands up. “The Guild Master of Perlshaw?! That sleazy sack of shit with the greasy blonde hair?”

The armored girl tilts her head, “Oh, you know him? Wait a moment... hold on...” Merille sizes Sam up and thinks to herself before gasping. “IT’S YOU!”

She stands up and leans over the table to look at Sam. “Blonde twintails, red bikini armor, you’re that girl who got her license back in Perlshaw a while back! I saw you! You’re... you’re a LEGEND!” Merille smiles brightly, eyes sparking with adoration.

Zutiria and I both shoot a glance at Sam, but she’s just as confused as we are. “Fuck’re you talking about?” She laughs uncomfortably.

“You’re the girl who kicked him in the... the... no-no zone! Every girl in the Guild was singing your praises for weeks! He was in so much pain that he didn’t try any nonsense with the girls for weeks after that happened!”

I can’t hold myself back from laughing loudly.

That certainly sounds like our Sammy.’ Zutiria says as she chuckles.

Blushing heavily, Sam shoos her away with her hand. “Oh stop, all I did was kick a dude in the nuts who deserved it.”

“Be that as it may, I’m honored to be in the same Guild as you! Um... assuming I...” Merille looks at me and then winces a bit in fear again.

I sigh once more, we need to go over this. “Look. What you walked in on was... a sexual roleplay.”

All of a sudden the armored girl’s face becomes as red as the fiercest of fires, “R-r-role... play...? I don’t understand...”

Zutiria, however, seems to understand a lot. She pets Merille on the head once again. ‘Oh, you innocent little flower...

“We were pretending.” I say.

“B... but the three of you were clearly d-doing the... the THING! You can’t pretend that!”

“No, we were pretending about the stuff I was saying. We were playing a role, like an actor in a play. Hell, it was THEIR idea. I was the evil, sexually abusive Guild Master and Sam and Zutiria here were-”

“His loyal cumdump adventurers!” Sam declares proudly.

“C-C-C-C-C-U... WHAT?! Stand firm... s-stand firm...!!” Merille freaks out at the mention of such casual profanity. If it wasn’t clear that this girl was a virgin, it is now.

“What I’m trying to say is that I don’t ACTUALLY force my adventurers to have sex with me. These two just... do.”

“Yeah, Boss here has magic ji-” NOPE. I grab Sam by her head and cover her mouth aggressively. I make sure she looks at me and do my best to threaten her into not saying more with a look alone.

This new girl is beyond timid, and we need to be delicate regarding my quest for a harem, my magic semen, and all the other utter nonsense going on in my life. I still need to run a Guild here and if Merille shows absolutely no interest in me then I need to not be a total creep, like my counterpart in Perlshaw evidently is.

I’m not sitting here talking to her with the explicit goal of adding her to my bedmates, she’s a new worker. It’s just that the workplace is in a very, very strange transitional period right now.

Merille looks to me with a very apologetic expression, though still tinged with fear. “I-I’m sorry... it’s just... you all were being so... i-indecent and you have such a frightening, thug-like face... and your glasses d-don’t help at all!”

Thug-like face...? I can’t deny it but that doesn’t mean I feel good about it.

“You get used to it. I actually think it’s kinda hot.” Sam smiles and nudges me with her elbow suggestively. Not the time, Sam.

Sir is rough around the edges, but I assure you he’s a gentleman above all else once you get to know him.’ Zutiria says.

I sigh, having these two as my backup isn’t helping very much. Merille seems to be getting slightly more comfortable with me, so I need to take a chance. “Sam, Zutiria, may I have a moment with our guest alone? I would like to discuss more business related things with Miss Tillot.”

Merille is nervous about the idea, but consents by nodding her head.

“Yeah, sure Boss. Don’t make it weird for her.” The Princess laughs in a husky tone before grabbing her great sword and heading out into the training yard to work on her fighting form.

I’ll be in the lab if you need me.’ The Mage stands and pets the head of the armored girl once more before trotting off to do some experiments in her makeshift alchemy workshop.

I’m now left alone in the entrance hall with Merille Tillot, and while still trembling ever so slightly she’s able to look me in the eyes every so often. An improvement.

In an attempt to break the ice, I smile as charmingly as I can and ask, “Miss Tillot, you’re a Shield Maiden... right? I don’t think I need to see your Hero License to recognize that. I’ve never met one before. It’s a very rare class.”

For a moment her eyes light up with excitement and she nods her head. “Yes, my Mother was one as well and she inspired me to take up the lifestyle after she... w-well...” Merille looks away, clearly not wanting to elaborate.

“I understand. I have plenty of things that I wouldn’t want to tell strangers about as well.”

She offers me a meek smile in response and says, “Y-You can call me Meri... by the way...”

“Very well, Meri. It’s getting late tonight but tomorrow I’m going to want to do some tests back in the training yard if you don’t mind, I want to see what you’re capable of before we start sending you on quests.”

“Y-yes, of course. Just please don’t expect too much from me... t-there’s a reason they didn’t want me back at Perlshaw... and it’s not just because I turned down a cup of ‘tea’.” Her red eyes fill with sadness, and I can’t help but feel bad for her.

She continues on, “Um... Y-you promise me you’re not a weird sex pervert, right...? I don’t know anything about... l-lewd things, so if what you and them were doing is n-n-n-normal then I’m very, very sorry for thinking you were a violent thug...”

“Would you believe it if I said that earlier in the day I was close to fixing the door, but I instead purchased a new bed? I thought to myself what could possibly go wrong, we can fix it up in a few days instead.” 

Meri covers her mouth with her plated hand, hiding a giggle behind it as she does so. “I-I know the feeling... I go out to buy certain things and often end up returning with lots of sweets instead of what I actually left home for...”

I laugh in response, glad this warm, friendly atmosphere is going very well now. Gods, she’s cute.

Out of nowhere, the voice of the Goddess in my heart sees fit to chime in. ‘You’re welcome.’ 

...Wonderful. I had my suspicions, but now I know for sure that if I take off my glasses and look at this Shield Maiden my heart will go wild with desire just like the first times I laid eyes on Sam and Zutiria before her.

Only I’m not going to do that, and I won’t be making any move on her without a sign of interest on her part. I rushed into being with Sam and Zutiria, and regardless of any Goddess’s plan to set me up with a giant harem I’m not going to look at Meri as a potential prize to be won.

I need to have a deeper conversation with this presence of mine as soon as I can, but I don’t know how to incite one other than hoping I have another dream where she sees fit to talk to me.

“U-Um,” Meri nervously interrupts my train of thought. “May I ask a potentially... r-rude question, Mr. Guild Master?”

“Certainly.”

“Your Guild is... w-well... a ruin.” She looks into her lap as she’s overcome with guilt for having to bring this up. “W-what happened here...?”

Of course she’d ask, and I need to be honest with her. “There was a long stretch of my life, about five years or so, where I had less motivation and things fell apart. I’m recovering from my weakness ever since meeting Sam and Zutiria, and bit by bit we’re dedicated to making enough gold to fully renovate the Guild.”

“Oh.” Meri gasps out of embarrassment at having asked such a personal question, and then her eyes seem to sparkle with interest. “I’m so sorry... but... that’s such a lovely goal! Are they your only adventurers?”

I smirk and decide to push just a tiny bit, “Not anymore.”

She blushes and smiles softly, breaking eye contact. “I see... w-well, may I see the dorm rooms then? I’d like to unpack.”

...

“Ah.”

I forgot about this. This... isn’t going to come off very good at all.

“Well, funny story about that...”

Meri’s eyes fill with concern, and fear. Her armor trembles in anticipation of my next words.

“They actually have not been cleaned in... a very long time. Sam insisted on sharing my bed very early on after I met her, and Zutiria is a close friend of hers from back home and she sort of... invited her to my bed as well...”

Her cheeks fill with blush and her eyes go wide, twitching nervously.

“That is to say... the, ah... the only available room is my own... bed... room... but hey, at least I just bought a much bigger bed... r-right...?”

...

Meri stands up, grabs her shield and rushes to the corner of the room. She crouches down in the corner and positions the tower shield in front of her so that I can’t see a single part of her body from this angle, though I can still see the trembling of her hand as it shakes and trembles the handle of her great barrier.

“I-I JUST KNEW YOU WERE A LEWD, CREEPY PERVERT!! S-STAY AWAY FROM MY BODY YOU HORNY THUG! I HAVE A SHIELD AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO... TO PROTECT MYSELF WITH IT!!” Meri shouts desperately.

This is going to be a long night, I think to myself while rubbing my temples out of stress.

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