Training sure was interesting today.

Nikita got started full swing as soon as she greeted them, and introduced herself more properly. “I’m Nikita. You might’ve guessed from my accent, appearance, armor, weapons and so on that I’m from Grekka. Ever since I was five years old I’ve been fighting day in and day out to make my place in the realms, eventually earning the favor of Ares himself and becoming a Divine Champion under his name.”

All the girls look at her in reverence, completely in awe of the Grekkan’s dramatic history.

“Then I punched Ares in the balls really fucking hard and I swore off of fighting for the most part.” Nikita loses all dramatic tension as she throws her head back in an uproarious fit of laughter, leaving everyone else in stunned silence, including myself.

All of us want to interrupt her little introduction so we can ask about the ball punching in further detail, but she puts up a hand to quiet us and continues.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t train others to fight, and protecting people is different than fighting. From now on, I’ve got your back if anyone tries to start shit with you! Like so-”

Nikita pulls a Grekkan dagger out of her armored skirt and throws it off into a nearby tree about twenty feet away. The dagger glides so fast through the air even MY eyes have trouble keeping up with it, and lo and behold a (former) rogue falls out of the trees.

This skulking figure is dressed the same as the others who were stalking me yesterday, only those figures didn’t have Grekkan daggers sticking out of their brains. 

Sam, Meri, Zutiria and I stare slack jawed at this sudden development, as I didn’t even notice that the enemy was so close at hand. That’s troublesome, since it proves that they wanted me to see them yesterday and that if they want to remain undetected... then it’s apparently an option, even from my eyes.

Nikita walks over to the tree and throws her arms out, shouting, “GO ON, GET! SHOO! SHOOO! I’M LETTING YA OFF EASY THIS TIME AND JUST KILLING ONE OF YOU, SO MAKE THE MOST OF IT! SHOO!”

As soon as she does this, about twenty rogues all jump out of the many nearby trees and start running away for dear life with impressively speedy cowardice.

This mercenary just shooed a group of deadly spies as if they were a flock of skittish birds, and she did it without batting an eyelash.

Nikita laughs as she watches them go, shaking her head back and forth. “Ah... bless their hearts. They were trying so hard not to emit their aura, too...”

“HOLY SHIT.” Sam finally shouts, after having held back for long enough already.

“Y-Y-Y-You killed him s-so effortlessly...!!” Meri stammers not in fear, but in awe.

‘Can we maybe circle back to the part where you punched a God in the testicles, I’m interested in the details of that for scholarly reasons. Have you punched other men in the balls? Did it feel different when you did so? Discuss.’ Zutiria adjusts her glasses and I see them shine with intellectual curiosity.

If I had any doubts in mind leftover if this arrangement would work out or not, they’re now totally gone. The three of my adventurers seem absolutely taken with their new instructor and I can hardly fault them for that.

When the hype dies down, Nikita breaks down each girl’s individual training plans.

She starts with Zutiria first, since hers is rather simple.

To begin with, Zutiria’s focus is to just start doing a lot of normal physical exercise. That’s all.

Nikita explains that just getting in better shape would go a very long way for Zutiria way since most Mages can’t don’t even bother to train their bodies at all, and it’d open up the path to more advanced options. Nikita promises to eventually cover ways to protect herself against anti-mage tactics, but for now it’s irrelevant as long as her body is an ‘undeveloped potato Mage’ as the Grekkan eloquently put it. 

Sam’s instructions come next.

While the pretty Princess is ecstatic to get to start swinging her sword around under proper tutelage, she’s horrified to find out that her new training regimen is a primarily mental one. Nikita breaks it down in no uncertain terms- the great blade is a slow and counter-attack focused weapon. Just because Sam is strong enough to wield it like a butter knife doesn’t mean that it’s the best way to go about using it.

Unrelenting force is only useful when there’s no other alternative, and Nikita stresses that a powerful sword is always inferior to a clear, disciplined mind- but when wielded together? Perfection.

I don’t think this was the answer Sam was looking for. Her hype transforms into despondence as the excited twinkle leaves her emerald eyes... but nevertheless Sam nods her head. Apparently she’s going to be working on meditation today and once she learns to ‘chill the fuck out’ then Nikita promises to start teaching her the cool skills and stuff that Sam desperately wants to get to.

That leaves poor little Meri, and I don’t envy her. Not after hearing what Nikita has planned for her.

She plans on training the poor little Shield Maiden hands on since she currently needs the most guidance. From their brief battle last night in front of my eyes, the Grekkan mercenary was able to correctly deduce Meri’s aversion to pain.

Nikita’s genius plan is simply to get her used to it.

Personally.

Meri is supposed to just sit there for hours on end wearing only her gambeson and arming trousers while Nikita beats on her with a wooden sword, her fists, or whatever else strikes her fancy at the moment. 

Of course, she’ll be mixing in feints, diversions and other trickery so that Meri keeps on her toes.

Needless to say she’ll be taking breaks, of course, as we don’t want a repeat of yesterday. And at least she won’t have to wear her armor. She wants Meri to feel it so she actually gets used to the pain.

I can only watch this go on for a few minutes. The surreal combined sight of Zutiria doing squats after changing out of her robes into a boyish pair of shorts and a tank top, Sam meditating on top of a tree trunk as she tries her hardest not to open her eyes, and Meri the training dummy getting the shit beaten out of her on an infinite loop is just too odd for me to handle.

It’s time for paperwork.

I get through about half of the day’s stack and sort out the new requests, only to find that there is none from the locals any longer. Not even a single thinly veiled assassination or a lone solicitation attempt, not a single shady offering from Dewhurst’s upstanding population.

This is starting to become a major problem. Let alone Shatterbrew’s, now I’m worried that other shops will deny me service as well.

If my enemy, be it the Duke of Dewhurst or what have you, wields their influence to the point where it makes running my business hard then I’ll have no choice but to look into striking back somehow... but how? The enemy is for all intents and purposes invisible... 

Hell, how would I even go about finding the shady underbelly of Dewhurst when the entire town in and of itself is a shady underbelly to begin with? Ridiculous.

I think a small part of me is upset, truthfully. I had pledged that I would become the villain of Dewhurst. The monster this town always believed me to be, and I enjoyed a few weeks of pressuring Abner, Butcher Bludman and Spliffert to make progress.

Now the rug is being pulled out from under me and an unseen presence is laughing at me, asking, “So you want to be the bad guy, do you?”

Yes, Duke. I do.

Two can play at this game. I may not know the rules, but I’m a quick study and the pieces I have on the board are stronger than you’d imagine.

Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself...

At the very least, I should probably plan on making a visit to Abner to see if I can put some pressure on that shitty old village chief of ours and see what the official reasoning behind the quest blockage is.

Thank the gods, after a few hours of paperwork I hear a familiar voice coming from the entrance hall.

“BRUMMIK PEBBLESHIELD’S DICK, WHAT IN THE NAME ‘A FUCK HAPPENED HERE?! AH’VE BEEN GONE FER NOT EVEN A DAY!”

I quickly scribbly my signature on the last bit of paperwork I was working on and head out to the entrance hall to meet Gwin. As soon as I see her, the young Dwarf runs to my side. “Good gods, ya ain’t lookin so hot... Where’re the girls? Ya weren’t attacked last night were ya?” She bombards me with a thousand questions and leaves me no time to answer a single one. “This is what ya get for having a buildin’ made of wood...”

When I’m finally able to answer the situation in full, Gwin looks amused yet annoyed all at once. She seems to already know she’s going to like Nikita, but that doesn’t stop her getting annoyed about having to suddenly fix up all the battle damage done to the Guild. Gwin brought her tools once again today and apparently she’s off work early. 

The speed of a working Dwarf is never to be underestimated. She’s done in a little under an hour, and by that time the girls all come in and we have a brief little meet and greet. Sam and Meri still haven’t met Gwin yet but neither make the best impression on the Dwarf.

Sam is grumpy and irritable, while Meri looks like she’s on the verge of breaking into tears. Thankfully there must have been a healing potion, since she’s not suffering from any damage, besides the mental of course.

Zutiria isn’t doing so great either, having fallen asleep the second she sits down at the nearest table.

Nikita, though. Nikita is pumped as hell at having just beat on Meri for three hours, and declares today’s training a rousing success. She then just leaves as quickly as she came into our lives, promising to be back tomorrow.

Gwin gets a brief compliment from Nikita on her way out as she admires the repairs, fortunately the mercenary sees fit to use the actual door this time. Now it’s just me, the Dwarf, a sleeping mage, and two very upset adventurers. Gwin decides to leave me some space for today, understanding that now’s really not the best time for a proper meet and greet and that she’d prefer to introduce herself to Sam and Meri under more pleasant circumstances.

Sam grunts in response and when Gwin reaches out to offer Meri a handshake, the Shield Maiden must have mistaken it for an oncoming fist as she yelps and hides under the table. Gwin seems savvy enough about humans and their behaviour to know they didn’t mean any offense by not shaking her hand. 

Sighing, the Dwarf takes off for now. Disappointed that she didn’t get to hang around for longer but at least proud of her repair work.

That just leaves me and the girls, one of which is currently drooling on the table while the others are present but not really ‘here’.

“I take it no one’s in the mood for any quests today, then?” I ask rhetorically.

“Maybe in a few hours...” Sam sighs.

“DON’T HIT ME, PLEASE!” Meri shouts at nobody in particular, completely unprovoked. I decided to trust Nikita’s decision regarding her training, but... is Meri doing ok? I thought the combat instructor knew what she was doing, but... Meri looks almost worse than she did beforehand. I guess time will tell.

As soon as I’m done eying up Meri, Sam stands up and jerks her head towards the stairs. She urges me to follow her and I do so, entering the bedroom with her. Perhaps this was a mistake as for all I know she wants to jump me and waste the rest of the day away in each other’s arms, but to my surprise she sits down on the bed and frowns, patting next to her.

Something serious is on her mind so I decide to be there for her, and sit where I’m told.

“Sam, is something the matter? Did training not go very well? If I need to have a talk with Nikita for you I’ll do so, just tell me-”

“Do you think I should keep using the great blade?”

I tilt my head, not following along. “Is that what’s bothering you?”

“Kinda. When I left home I just grabbed it cause it looked cool. I thought I could just use my strength to cut up anything in my way, but now I have to fucking meditate and get smart and...” Sam sighs and looks away from me. “And I’m too stupid for it.”

“Sam, you’re not stupid.”

She gives me a doubtful look. Ok, I admit she can be rather dumb and impulsive, but I don’t think she’s that bad. It’s more of a quirk, really.

“Really. I don’t think you’re THAT dumb...” Sam smirks at my response and gives me a playful punch on her shoulder as is customary.

“Fuck off, Boss.”

“Sam, I think it’s a good thing you’re asking yourself these questions. But is there even another weapon or class you’re interested in?” In all honesty I hope not. The Association of Adventurers makes signing up for more than one class a bureaucratic nightmare, and if they get wind of you undertaking quests using skills outside of your registered class then you’re even liable to be fined. I wish I was making that up, but I’m not.

“Not really.” She sighs. “I’m a simple girl, I like big swords and hurting things. And I like you.”

I take her hand in mine, and for a brief moment we stare into each other’s eyes. “I don’t want to tell you my thoughts on the matter.”

“Why...?”

“This is a decision you should make yourself. You may need to mature more mentally to be able to wield the great sword to its fullest potential, but there are other weapons that could suit you. While I will always support you, it won’t be beneficial for me to make such important choices for you. Because if I told you to do it, you’ll do it without hesitation. That’s not healthy.”

“I’d do it because I trust you.” For a brief second Sam’s eyes become ever so slightly angry, but they fade quick enough.

“Exactly. This isn’t me teaching you the correct way to fight a monster, Sam. This is about what kind of warrior you want to become. I’m not going to rob you of your chance to improve yourself.”

Sam is silent for a long, painful while before sighing heavily. “I hate it when you make so much sense, Boss. I get it. I like the great sword, I really do, but chilling out and counter attacking is hard for me. I’ve never been one for learning shit. Aside from the whole wanting to kill the Demon Lord thing, a big part of why I left was all the pressure expected of me. Learn this. Study that. Learn how to properly greet ambassadors from various realms in their customary way. So on and so on... my brain couldn’t handle so much shit in it and I... I just kinda cracked eventually. It was never enough to please everyone. I wasn’t good enough...”

“It’s ok, Sam.” I pull her into my arms and give her a deep hug, nuzzling her head into my neck. “You know I’d never pressure you into anything.”

“Thanks, Boss... I just...”

“You don’t want to disappoint me, or yourself. I know. But you should also know by now that I’d never be disappointed in you.”

Her arms tighten further around me and Sam further buries herself into my embrace. “You really annoy me when you’re so perfect for me, you know that?”

“Given how much of a headache you tend to give me, I’d say we’re even.”

Sam has herself a good laugh at that, and while she’s busy hugging me for all her worth I notice a crack form in the door. My first instinct is that we have an intruder... but... I soon see a crimson eye peeking through the open space as well as the tip of a yellow bow.

For whatever reason, Meri is spying on us.

This interests me, and I grab Sam and push her back down on the bed.

“Boss? Isn’t it a bit early for this?!” She blushes but is very clearly happy. Like I’ve said she’s been very clingy lately, and I think she’s been missing having some one on one time with me.

“It’s never too early to spoil you with my love, Princess.”

Sam’s heart melts at this comment, and she looks up into my eyes amorously before cooing, “Daddy...”

Our lips meet in a heated kiss, and I become enraptured by the idea of showing Meri a good time. That’s not to say I don’t want to spoil my Princess with some quality alone time, but hey. Two birds with one stone.