Hello, my name is Rodger Baptiste.

I awoke looking up and the same ceiling I have looked up to for the last ten years of my adult life, my alarm didn’t go off and midmorning sunlight was streaming into my room and lighting up “Lil’dude” my cat, so it must be a weekend, although I must also have a hangover because I was sure today was a Wednesday, but clearly, I was wrong. I looked over to my side table to the cheap clock and phone charger combo, my smartphone was resting snuggly in its cradle, and the alarm clock showed it was Sunday 10 am. ‘Ugg, I must have drunk so much last night I forgot the last week.’ I thought to myself, as I stretched and walked to my bathroom.

It’s not like it really matters though, I tolerate my job, and I’m good at it, and I’m a simple man who loves a simple life, or at least that is the face everyone sees. The reality behind my jeans and flannel motorcycle mechanic outside is I’m a nerd, gamer, and completely resentful of how masculine my exterior is. It doesn’t help that I was raised in a fundamental Christian household, and it also doesn’t help that I had to live a lie of how I felt my whole life.  

The only time I’m happy is when I’m playing a video game or riding my Harley down PCH. The only blessing for working on motorcycles is I get Sundays and Mondays off. So, I avoid Monday syndrome by sleeping and playing video games. The bad news is my Mom expects me in church on Sundays. I negotiated with her that I would do Sunday evening services and not Sunday mornings. Because no way is, I am waking early on a Sunday. Also, Sunday evening services are more about how to brainwash the congregation and less about recruiting more people, so I don’t have to deal with the same kind of BS as Sunday mornings. The only reason I’m a part of this crappy church is that I was raised as a member, thanks, mom.

Of course, I’m a great actor I can smile and act as mindless as the rest of them while there. But once I get home, I log into my games, and ignore what really troubles me most, the unsaid feeling that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I did my normal morning routine, brush teeth, sit on the toilet, and did my business, cleaned the cat’s litterbox, showered, shaved everything (yes everything under my eyebrows), and then dry off. I got dressed in my Sunday uniform polo shirt and khaki slacks, walked to my bed, and switched it to its couch configuration, flipped on my TV, and gaming consul, and proceeded to play the latest in fun mindless shooters that’s popular.

Yes, I live in a small cheap studio apartment in Huntington Beach California. It’s not big, I make good money, but try and buy a house as a single blue-collar worker in California, just not going to happen. My mom and dad ask me if I’m gay at least once a year. I assure them I’m not gay, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been sexually attracted to anyone, and I wasn’t going to marry a mom clone at church, I’m not gay. Not going to marry for the church’s sake, I wasn’t going to let mom push me into marriage.

I played my game for about an hour until my cat figured I’d ignored her food too long and started to swat the controller in my hand.

“Ok, ok, Lil’dude, I got our brunch coming up,” I said to the little stinker. She’s a good cat, if not a little bossy. Mom wasn’t happy I didn’t get a dog, but I informed her that my schedule was unfair to animals, but my boss allowed the cat to hang out at work, so having a cat was fine. Seriously “Lil’dude” her name, is the mascot of our little shop. She sits all day in a bed taking head pats and treats from customers. Occasionally she earns her keep by chasing a bug or rodent, however, she’s too lazy to leave the office or shop areas, plus she’s not fond of the oil smells where I work. Oh, and she has a special carrier I use on my motorcycle. It’s basically a backpack with a large bubble window for her.

Oh, and yes, “Lil’dude” was named before we had her fixed, everyone said she looked like Keanu, not the actor, but the cat in the Key and Peele film. So even if she’s a girl, she’s our ‘Lil’dude’. Now before anyone gets mad at me, I always respect people’s pronouns, I’m not a jerk. She likes her name, but if a trans girl actually walked into our shop everyone knows I will protect her honor, and make sure even the owners are respectful. It pays to be the biggest strongest and seemingly meanest guy in the shop, and the one who reminds people it’s not ok to be homophobic or transphobic. And yes, I work out at the gym on work nights, it’s a good place to let go of my frustrations. Unfortunately at 6’3” 250lbs of ‘beefcake’ muscles doesn’t do much for my deep-set issues, but at least no one gives me crap, even the few H.A. guys who come to the shop know better than to be disrespectful to the LGBT+ around me.  Of course, I think everyone thinks I’m gay, I know for a fact I’m not. But since the few LGBT+ Rider clubs here in the OC have listed our shop as a safe place, I’m not going out of my way to discourage that idea.

Also, and I know you’re not supposed to put human personality traits on a cat, but “Lil’dude” tends to act more like a boy cat, she’s more likely to chase a female cat than a mouse for starters. Plus, she just acts like a guy, I swear she has a dude soul in her.

I prepared a couple of eggs for me with toast and gave her a bowl of kibble and freshwater. I also gave her a few egg whites. I know, never feed animals off your plate, and I don’t, but since I’m making my Sunday Brunch, I can give her a bit in her bowl. Happy cat makes for a happy home after all. After cleaning up from Brunch I played video games until 5 pm, we then took a ride up and down the coast, we hit a coffee shop off of Main street, I checked my watch, got an hour before services. So, we rode to Costa Mesa, as our services started at 6:30 pm. And yes, I bring Lil’dude to church with me, I bring her everywhere, I even had my therapist and shrink write a letter giving me permission to have her with me in restaurants. They are the only people I open up with, they have made suggestions to help my situation, but I plainly refuse to take that step, I’m not physically the type who can pull it off to start with. So, I live with my issues and a cat.

Once the service was done, we followed mom and dad to the family restaurant we go to after services every Sunday evening. The waitress staff seriously hates most of us, because honestly, the worst customers are churchgoers, especially evening service churchgoers. I always treat the wait staff with respect, and I always give a large cash tip after my parents stand up to leave, out of sight of them, because I don’t want them to stop giving any tip on their Credit Cards, after all, cash isn’t recorded to the IRS but the CCs are. The wait staff always treats our table the best, and both the guys and girls like to flirt with me. I tend to naturally flirt back, and Lil’dude also flirts with the ladies. The dude has moves even if she’s a cat.

Once we get home, I park and lock my motorcycle using the specialized security system I installed in my parking space, the complex owner wasn’t happy at first when I installed a titanium anchor system into space, but when I explained that I would pay for the removal when and if I moved, and I paid him a bit extra money, he relented. Honestly, as a Harley owner, it’s about the only way I’d feel safe besides bringing my motorcycle into my apartment. The system basically locks the wheels and frame to a titanium baseplate that is riveted deeply into the concrete space. Sure, they could use a jackhammer to remove the concrete but by then everyone in the area would hear not only the power tools but the train horn alarm I have under the seat. It pays to be your own mechanic when customizing a motorcycle.

 Oh, and my motorcycle is a classic FXR, got to say having a motorcycle that’s older than you is cool especially since the old-timers always stop and admire it and tell me stories about when they had one.  I tend to smile a lot when they notice my special tricks I added. Just because a motorcycle is almost 50 doesn’t mean it can’t have 2035 technology hidden on it. The trick is to keep it looking like something from its era while changing out parts that can be easily replaced with modern advancements. The first trick was to pull the gas-powered engine hollow it out and make it hydrogen-powered. It looks just like the old EVO twin, but it’s actually a hydrogen fuel cell, under the seat is a speaker system and train air horn which provide realistic engine sounds. The Battery and electric motor are also all hidden using the exhaust pipes and swing arm system. I don’t think I could have pulled this off with other motorcycles, oh and before I get hate for destroying an EVO, it was a cheap aftermarket one that was newly made, which I bought at a wrecking yard. In fact, most of my bike was purchased from the wreckers, I built it in my spare time, and yes, I have an automotive engineering degree, I just didn’t have the motivation to do that work. Plus, I like not having to wear a tie to work, of course, most companies these days have office workers work from home, but still, automotive engineers have to go to an office even in the post covid world. My parents still say it was all a liberal conspiracy, I tend to stay quiet I was in high school back then, and I even lost a friend to it. She was the same age as I was, and we were best friends. I still miss her dearly, my parents thought we were dating. Mom even says it was her death that made me gay. As if, she was gay not me.

Oh well, that was almost fifteen years ago now. The OC is still conservative, but Democrats now out vote Republicans, and the actual left tend to vote Green party, which I’m registered as. Only Christians, Bigots, and Nazis vote Republican, and they still cry for Trump even after he went to jail for treason, tax evasion, and a hundred other charges once he was out of office. The lesson to be learned doesn’t steal from Uncle Sam. Of course, the Republicans still claim it was all a conspiracy, yet most of the Republican senators who didn’t go to jail turned state’s evidence and ensured the end of their party. Dems acted all happy, but it wasn’t all that long until they showed they were just conservative light. I would have registered communists, but would they even have a chance? So, I went Green as they actually have a few senators and reps now.

Once we got home from church and dinner, Lil’dude and I sat at my small desk, and I logged into the MMO that I play, it’s the latest Japanese MMORPG, it’s full VR with mental commands and a light feedback system which gives a slight sense of touch. It’s still not “The Matrix” level fake reality, but it’s good enough to pretend to feel like it is.

I’m in a guild which is in Australia, sadly. being on the west coast of the US and having a full 14-hour workday including 2 hours a day in the gym, means if I want to raid or enjoy the game properly I have to play with people either in Alaska, Hawaii, or Further west like Australia and New Zealand. Which is fine by me, fewer Nazis overseas, sadly ever since Trump the US has had a Nazi problem. Sadly, not much can be done about them, hate speech was made illegal, in most states, but the conservative supreme court keeps saying hate speech is protected under the 1^st amendment. 15 years later and Trump’s supreme court picks are still causing issues.

Once I logged in my guildmates would ‘chat me up’, it’s all fun and games, as I always remind them, I’m a massive dude IRL and not the Elven Goth Girl I play. I use the famous excuse; I prefer to look at boobs and ass than dudes. They laugh and remind me it’s 1^st person, and all they see and hear is a cute goth girl elf, then they make egg comments and such, I usually sigh at that point then we go and do dungeon runs and raids on Tuesday or Wednesday nights.

The only night which I don’t play video games, and it’s because my shrink wants me to socialize more, is Saturday night when I walk to the local nightclub on Mainstreet in Huntington Beach, it’s less than a mile and no need to ride if I know I’m drinking, sure I could Uber, but since I have a lot of muscle bulk, walking helps keep me limber. Honestly, I hate my build, but at least I’m healthy. I normally don’t actually drink all that much, I’m actually a bit of a lightweight drinker, I just go to the club to people watch, and talk to one or two people who frequent the club. Also, the owner likes me, as I have helped him deal with the MMA guy who sometimes gets rowdy. He gives me at least one free drink a night and has often asked if I ever wanted a job as a bouncer.  I always decline the offer, but then promise to help the guys if they need it. It does help that I’m bigger than his bouncers.

So, this is my typical week, well that and I’m at work Tuesday through Saturday from 8 am until 4:30 pm daily. I usually deal with upgrades, oil changes, and full rebuilds. There are a few people who want my secret about how I made my Hydrogen Fuel cell out of an EVO, I smile and just cryptically say ‘a friend in long beach’, well it was me who did the work, I just happen to know a guy with a full machine shop. I spent almost 2 years on the project after I got the parts. No way am I selling my bike, and no way am I building another one. I will sell the plans, but I’ve filled out the patents so if I sell, I want real money. So far only one company has even asked but ran when I explained I’ve done the legal work. Anyway, I’m not in a hurry to sell the design for my engine, as I said, I have a nice life even if I hate the large body, I’m in.

A week later

I awoke looking up and the same ceiling I have looked up to for the last ten years of my adult life. my alarm didn’t go off, and everything was off. Oh, this must be the infamous still drunk level of a hangover. only I am sure I didn’t drink all that much. I think the patrons of the bar and myself were still in shock over the latest disaster. there was a terrorist attack in the middle east that destroyed Tel Aviv they used a Nuclear weapon. news outlets are debating if it was a Saudi weapon or an Iranian one, while people overseas are saying it was a Russian made one. Needless to say, people were a little shocked when the estimated death toll hit over a million people, and the fall out is basically going to hit everything from the Mediterranean to Iran. In fact, I don’t remember drinking any more than one beer, as the bar owner turned off the music and turned on the TVs which he uses for Football nights. I wondered how I got home even, as I sat up in bed, causing my breasts to bounce. Huh. Whatever I’m still sleepy, I walked to the window, and everything was grey outside, seems to be a foggy day, thick fog as well. Lil’dude must be hiding, as there is no sunlight to bask in this morning. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, moved the jet black hair out of my face, ‘she’s cute’ is what I thought, as I finished my teeth, did the toilet duty, made sure to wipe front to back, huh? Why? Meh, Sleepy. Then I got in the shower, took a second to heat up, washed my hair, washed under my boobs, washed my legs and privates, although I remember to not get carried away with my privates, as that’s how you get a yeast infection, wait wat?!? Wait I’m a girl? Huh?  

Hours prior in Tel Aviv Israel

Abdullah Al Aziz Awda was preparing himself; he was going to be the greatest Martyr in history, his organization the Islamic State of Palestine, had made a secret deal with a group of North Koreans and Chinese capitalists and had secured a Nuclear weapon. This was the first of many planned Nuclear attacks on the western invaders to their land, it was time to push the infidels out. He entered the twelve-digit code that activated the warhead and pressed the red button which detonated it.

He and a million other souls entered not heaven or hell but Limbo, a grey space for souls, his act of terror attracted the attention of a higher being.

“Fucking hell, I almost had this problem fixed” the voice of the higher being said, in what sounded like pure frustration. “You fuckin’asshole, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK. Like you would get heaven after being the single biggest mass murderer using a single action. I nearly had the server fixed, I nearly solved the overpopulation and reintegration system, but no, 1 million new souls all at once. You just ruined ten years of coding in one insane moment of evil stupidity, Your next life is going to be a female chicken who is immortal and can’t die, your future owner is going to have fresh chicken legs and eggs from you forever. And you are going to remember why forever. Now I have to pull all these souls and put them on a new server, you single-handedly ended all life on your Earth Congrats you are a fucking egg-laying chicken.”

Bessie

Bessie the Immortal woke on a farm, after having just been slaughtered, she remembered what Allah had said, she remembered she was once a human male, she tried to cry and only clucked, she tried to ask Allah for forgiveness, she only clucked. The farmer, on the other hand, looked at his chicken as her body reformed from just her head, he hadn’t even finished bleeding the body, and here she was alive with a new body clucking away. Oh, thank god he thought, and immortal chicken, eggs, and legs forever.

Admin

The higher being, sat in his chair looking at the status of Earth 14653289 λ, rubbing his head after sending an asshole to Earth 658482364 ψ as an immortal chicken. He picked up his phone and dialed his boss’s extension.

“Yeah, so, just had a situation on the Earth I was trying to patch, some asshole burned a million souls, causing an overload. I pulled all souls from that server and placed them in holding, there is a fix, but the old server can’t be fixed now.” he nodded his head a few times, “yah, the only server with space is a new gaming server,” he paused to listen, “yah, plenty of room for all 20 billion souls” he listened some more, “yes, I’ll run the Karma system prior to them spawning,” he listened some more, “oh good idea, that will work to bitchslap the humans who caused the problems in the first place, honestly I have no sympathy for those people so it works.” He smiled, “yes sir.” He hung up, pulled out a burned server disk from a large server rack, then put a new server into the space he removed the old one from. He then sat at his terminal and made the necessary inputs.

Attila

The long-dead warlord who had died over a millennium prior awoke in a strange place, he was nude, his skin was green, and he was neither male nor female, he saw a scroll drop from heaven. it became a rectangle in front of him, words appeared in front of him, even though he had never learned to read the words could be read.

He read the message and understood innately what he had to do, Karma allowed him to buy racial traits and lifelong curses, he could use Light Karma to remove dark Karma, he did so, which left him with 4912 light Karma, since he was unfamiliar with many of the races he read carefully what his options were, strangely even though he felt like he had a lot of points, he soon realized that many of the best traits cost over a 1000 light karma, he wondered if he was too quick to remove his dark karma, as he could not afford to be human with any skills or classes, he settled instead with a Goblin, the race was inexpensive, and he could gain royalty and horse riding, which he felt he must have, strangely this cost him all his Karma points so he had to except random gender. Not that he cared, he had known both men and women in his time, and it mattered not to him if he was a man or a woman, he would be a great leader no matter his fate.

He awoke as a gender-neutral Goblin, he called his status window and was pleased.

 

 

 

System Admin

The system admin was very happy seeing people starting to spawn on the new worlds allotted to the once human souls of Earth 14653289 λ. to think their religious beliefs would cause so many headaches, to think a religious belief could cancel out another religious belief, causing over 1500 years of souls getting trapped in limbo instead of being reincarnated. They had accounted for heaven and hell beliefs, they even had accounted for how to deal with eternal damnation, basically punishing a soul equal to the length of the lives they harmed. It was basically eternal when you made the soul experience time at a vastly different rate, same with heaven, although for that once a soul got bored, they could choose to be reborn in a new life. But the system was not designed to auto-judge, humans set the rules of judgment and it was assumed each religion would judge itself. Then around 400ce to 500ce, they started judging people of different religions, this meant if you didn’t believe what they believed you would experience judgment based on the other guy's religion and your own. This caused a huge problem because the religions almost uniformly believed you went to hell if you didn’t believe what the other religion believed, and most people’s own religion said they were heaven-bound. This caused a logical error in the system. A person was both going to hell and going to heaven, so the system just put them in holding in limbo. We didn’t even get the error message until we got a disk space error. We set the system to house 10 billion souls, more than enough to deal with 100billion people under normal situations. Of course, this became an issue, so we tried to fix it, by the time the solution happened we had already hit 10 billion souls in the system, we had done a few compression patches making it easier to fit more, but then the asshole blew up half of a small nation. Overloading the whole server and causing it to go offline. Fortunately, I was able to save all the souls and load them to a new larger server, but now the once human race was no more, now they were over a thousand fantasy races living in a game world system made up of 3 stars, and hundreds of planets. Well, their scientists are going to love rediscovering everything, and the gamers… well the non-asshole gamers are going to love this system.

 

A new life

The person who was once named Rodger Baptiste finished her shower, made sure to use conditioner, she then wrapped her towel around herself covering her boobs, something she did already, well when no one was looking. She walked into her room rather confused she looked for Lil’dude and couldn’t find him, she tried to pick up her phone and her hands passed through it as if she was a ghost. As this happened, her TV turned on and the game controller started to buzz, she looked at both and saw a game screen, the type you’d expect from an RPG.

Her phone rang, so she reached over and picked it up.

“Oh, hello, I’m the sysadmin, Rodger Baptiste, or well you’ve yet to pick a new name, honestly I’m shocked, you’ve earned the same amount of Karma as a Seventy-year-old, and well normally most people earn a significantly higher amount of Dark Karma. You realize you’ve got more light Karma to work with than any other human ever. I just had to congratulate you; job well done. You must really and truly be a saint, not many of those on all the trillions of different Earths we monitor. So, kudos, you make me happy that there was at least one worthy soul in your world. Sorry, we had to pull the plug on it, but you’ll love the new worlds we are sending your people to. Go ahead now, fixed the character creator so you can reincarnate on your new home. Toddles.” The phone hung up and then reappeared on the charger cradle.

She blinked, not quite understanding, and without thinking grabbed the controller and made herself as she has always wanted to be. It took her a few hours, or at least it felt like hours, she was unsure of time honestly. Once she was done, she awoke once again to the same ceiling, only now things were different, as she expected this. She called up her status.

 

 

 

Lil’dude

Lil’dude was doing what she did every Saturday night when mom left her alone, she sat and stared out the window, watching the cars pass on Beach Blvd, she didn’t care that the road was called Beach and she didn’t know that was its name, but she knew that Lil’dude was what mom and the other tall cats called her. She was normally bored on Saturday nights, but it was fine, mom was a good mom, and she could normally sleep the few hours she was alone. But for some reason, she was worried, the air was off, something didn’t feel right. So, she stared at the sky and the road, there were few moving boxes tonight, and the sky was slightly overcast, odds are no sun to soak up tomorrow morning. Then she saw it, she had no words for it but she alone of all the intelligent life on Earth saw it and was aware, she was just looking at the right spot in the sky at the right moment. The sky shattered, and was replaced with grey, in fact, she saw everything shatter like glass and get replaced with grey. She found herself sitting on her pillow bed in the grey spot. With an odd tall cat with face bubbles with black frames staring at her.

“Oh, my.” The admin said as he saw the cat looking at him from his desktop screen, “well kitty, seems you’ve evolved to a human soul, and you were Rebecca’s kitty. Hmm, well you’ve got a lot of light karma as well, but since you’re a new soul, I’ll give you a bit of help here.

Lil’dude then became human smart, she was still a cat, but now she understood she was a cat and her mom was a human, she could now understand the words she heard her whole life, she could also read now.

“There, I’ve also made  it so you can reincarnate near Rebecca, the one you call mom, I’ll cheat a bit, and have you wake up in the same place when you do.”

Lil’dude now had her character screen to work with.

 

Lil’dude didn’t worry much about things, she…he knew what his race should be, and what his sex should be, and he could even afford a starter class.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lil’dude the Catboy awoke in his moms home, she was still asleep, he looked at her sleeping face, then went to the restroom, it was his first time using the human toilet, and he was super happy about this, he had a thingy, he was a boy finally.

 

A new world

After calling up her status, she got out of bed and looked to see the sunlight beaming into the apartment, and where her cat normally would sit was a teenage boy with cat ears and a cat tail smiling at her.

“Hi, mom, when’s breakfast?” he said.

“Huh? Mom? Who are you? I don’t think I’ve had kids yet.” She said making sure to cover her boobs with her blanket.

“I’m Lil’dude, you adopted me a few years ago, I’m people too now” he stated proudly.

Rebecca took a moment to process this, her cat was now a catboy teen calling her mom. Sure, she was old enough to have a teenaged kid, but she’s never actually done the deed. But strangely, it felt right to think of this catboy as her son.  “Lil’dude, can you give mom a bit of privacy while I do my morning routine and get dressed?”

He tilted his head, and thought about it, and realized he too needed to cover up.

 

Fortunately, a certain system admin made sure the apartment where they spawned in this world had clothing for both of them. In fact, most of the high karma people had not only clothing but apartments and sometimes even vehicles. This included a certain FXR, although it was now Magi-Tech based.

 

Rebecca quickly did her stuff and found her dresser was filled with the appropriate clothing for her and her son, they both got dressed. Rebecca was happy to figure out she was almost a foot shorter than her previous life, and her son was about two inches taller.

Lil’dude was wearing leather shorts, combat boots, a rock style t-shirt, and hoody, he also found an equipment belt and a pair of daggers to equip.

Rebecca found a nice gothic-looking dress, dark tights, and heeled boots, she also found plate armor which was clearly designed to be worn over her dress, a large one-handed sword, and shield. And a small belt pouch, when she equipped the belt pouch it vanished, and she saw a notification.

“Oh, that is cool,” Rebecca said out loud.

“What’s that mom?” Lil’dude asked.

“I can store our stuff with a thought now, well my stuff.” She replied.

“Oh, the bag thing, yes I got a small one as well, glasses dude seems to like us.” He said.

She looked to Lil’dude, “Glasses dude?” she asked.

“Oh, he’s like a god, only he called himself system admin.” The Nekonigen boy said.

“ah, you met him, I only got a phone call.” She said.

“ah, I think he was shocked a cat evolved to a human soul. I don’t really get it, but I’m glad it happened.” He said smiling.

Rebecca gave him a head pat and then made breakfast, seems everything in the cupboards and fridge was full.  She made a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs toast with Orange Juice. Lil’dude loved his eggs and toast, the juice was a new sensation, as he’d never experience sweet before, he was blushing it was so amazing for him.

After she did the dishes, they stepped out of the small house to find her parking space with motorcycle anchor and her FXR, only it looked changed. She looked it over to find that the Hydrogen fuel cell was now a Magic based aether engine, and however, it worked similar enough for her to see it was still her engine, only converted to a new energy source. Instead of making electricity it now made aether which is what powers magic. Aether can also be called mana, and it can be used in the same way as for electricity in machines, but it can also be used to power magic. As for fuel, it seems plain water is now all she needs to fill up with. However, she has to charge the system with her own magic to start the conversion.

It seems her engineering degree has been converted to magic-based as well. She then stored the house, and parking space, grabbed the two helmets on the motorcycle, and instructed her son how to be a passenger on a motorcycle. They then both got on and rode off to explore their strange new world.