Ch 78 – Congratulations, Sir Stupid
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It's not like I needed to run... but I really wanted to get there as soon as possible.

Yeah, it was pointless... but I wanted to give them the news as soon as possible.

'Eh... What kind of face will Gloria do when I get there?' I thought to myself as I ran back with a smile.

"Gun! You did it! I know you could do it!" I pictured her running into my arms with a large smile on her face. 'She'd be so cute... Wait... this is Gloria we're talking about, no way she'd behave like this...' I chuckled as I imagined a more realistic scenario.

"Huh, that's the least you could do, idiot. At least you didn't kill yourself this time."  'Ugh...' It hurt me. But... yeah, this felt way more like her... A lot more like her... 'I hope she doesn't behave like this... She probably will, won't she?'

For a second, I slowed my pace down, ruminating on my imagination of what she'd do. 'No! I can't know until I get there. Right!' Steeling my resolve, I started running once again.

'God... Why is this so far away?! I wish I had some sort of teleport within the dungeon... that'd make my life a whole lot easier.' Going by the time on the floating screens, I'd been running for over 10 minutes already.

'Hold on! If I can do that whole overclocking thingy so that time passes slowly... could I do the opposite too?' I felt I had made a large, massive and important discovery. 'Let's try i—'

...

"THE FUCK! HOW CAN IT BE?! 10 MINU—20?! I haven't even walked! 30?! STOP STOP! SLOW TIME TO A CRAWL!" '... this is bad! What happened during all this time?! I... took a single step?! Does this mean that my speed is still limited to my thoughts even though time is passing at a much higher pace?!' Yup. I had fucked up. Once I slowed down I took my time checking every aspect of the dungeon. Time had continued without me even noticing.

'I guess it really is like a computer doing cycles. If I make more cycles, time seems slower, but if I slow down too much, I become so slow others think I froze in place...'

"Haah... What a joke!" I complained to myself, though I knew there was nobody here to listen to me...

"What are you complaining about?"

'I must be so tired I'm hearing voices... I'm so useless...'

"Come on, don't ignore me."

'Yes, I'm going insane, after all I'm alone in my divine space...'

"AHEM!"

'Oh, shit! There's someo—'

'Eh...' I turned my chair around as I tried to stand up, but an unexpected weight pinned me back down... "Warm... small..." I muttered, feeling something onto my lap, though my eyes could see absolutely nobody. I closed my eyes, realizing I must've been delusional, scratching my head with one hand as I lowered the other onto my leg...

It didn't make it there

"Kya—"

I touched something... soft? No, it wasn't particularly soft. It was soft like a thin person's hip... but the shape was wrong.

[squeeze]

"Nyaaah~"

I opened my eyes in shock as I heard something moan!

And I looked down to see dark hair.

'Who is this?!?' I thought for a second, completely struck, as my other hand lowered itself and brought the person's face up as I looked down.

"Mikky?" I asked, recognizing that face.

"Indeed, it is this me!" she smiled, puffing her small chest and bringing a hand to my face. It goes without saying I had let go of her by this point. You know, this isn't just anybody, this is THAT God. THE God. "Eh... Why did you stop? It was starting to feel good..." Yet, contrary to my expectations, she wasn't angry at all...

'Hold on... why is she on my lap in the first place?' I asked myself, forgetting a vital detail.

"Of course, because this is a reward." She can read my thoughts.

"Reward? What for? It's not like I've done anything particularly impressive..."

"Are you... really that clueless?" she said, tilting her head sideways. I couldn't deny that she was incredibly cute. Had it not been for the way she dressed, I would definitely just think of her as a cute little kid—Impossible. Yeah, that'd just be impossible. There's no way in hell this kind of fiendish behavior and personality could be anything other than a lolibaba!

'So cute... Oh, shit, my bad!' I thought, finally understanding my blunder.

"No, it's okay." However, despite what I was thinking, she, instead, blushed and shied away a little...

'Could it be... she is very awkward? No way!'

"Ano~..." She distanced her upper body from me a little, fiddling with her fingers. "You know... I never had anyone call me cute before so... it feels strange," she said. Yeah, she's too cute for her own good.

"... Why? Or rather, how?"

"You see... All those who can see my physical body without going insane are gods... and all of them, aside from that disgusting freak, are essentially my children. At least as far as the gods I know..." She continued fiddling her fingers as she said this, somehow adding a lot to her charm.

'Disgusting Freak... I guess she's talking about Gloria's father...'

"No! Definitely not! He's just dumb. He never once made a single comment about me in any way, shape, or form. I'm talking about that cocky retard, Friedrich!"

"Frie...drich..." My blood started to boil. 'That motherfucker!'

"Oh! It seems you know that piece of garbage."

"I wish I didn't." I said, rolling my eyes before sighing.

"Well, at least you're now almost half of the way into getting as powerful as he is." She shrugged, making a very leisurely expression...

"Eh?" I seized, or my brain did.

"Eh?" she looked up to me, equally confused, somehow.

"Can you please say that again?" I asked.

"Oh, that you're halfway into becoming as powerful as he is?"

"Yeah! That part! What the heck do you mean?!"

"Oh, that's the reason I came here. Congratulations on becoming a Local God~!" She grinned broadly, making me even more confused, before she pulled my face towards hers with both hands and landed a kiss on my lips.

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