TIme For The BIg Flashback
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Len: “shit.”

Because of the headache, I’m having to curse.

Alice: “So you're awake darling.”

Len: “I thought that you would have already killed me by now, you corpse loving homicidal Maniac.”

Alice: “I was, but then I thought since you'll only have one expression on your face forever I should make it a smile so please smile for me, darling.”

Len: “Let me get this straight, you want me to smile while you kill me.”

Alice: “Not just a smile you also need to get nice and hard, so we can have sex when you’re dead.”

Len: “BEGONE you crazy THOT!”

Alice: “But how are we going to have kids if you don't get hard?”

Len: “That's impossible, even if I’m hard you crazy bitch.”

Alice: “Looks like you still have a good sense of humor.”

Len: -__-

I look at the smiling loli and think how did this happen, how did my dream of marrying a yandere turn into me being tied to a chair in the basement of this loli's house.

(A/N: That's what I’m here for flashback go Killer Queen Bites Za Dust)

*2 weeks ago*

???: “Len wake up before I come up there!!”

My name is Len Wilson, I have white hair, blood-red eyes, and a face that would qualify me to be a model god. Due to my constant exercise, my body stays lean and fit, but even with all my attractive features, I’m still single not because nobody has ever asked to go on a date with me, but because none of the girls that confessed to me were yandere.

Now some people might ask why a yandere? Well, when you’re raised in a house like mine you tend to pick up a few fetishes, I mean at least I only have a yandere fetish you should see my aunt, she's not only a futanari she's a shota futanari. I wish I could tell you that she doesn't do incest, but the number of times that I almost got ass raped speaks for itself, but now that I'm sixteen I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Anyway, all of that stuff isn't important right now what's important is that I'm late for school

???: “I told you to get up, but noooo, you just had to ignore me, maybe staying in class after school and having a talk with Kaguya-sensei will teach you not to ignore me!!!”

Len the girl who's currently talking to me with an angry expression on her face is my childhood friend Erza, I've known her since we were kids, and she gets angry really easily the only problem I have with her is that she comes into my house uninvited and till this day still don't know how she gets in.

(A/N: I know using the name of anime characters is shameless but my naming sense is horrible)

Len: “Okay I'm sorry, I promise not to ignore you ever again so please stop yelling at me.”

Erza: “You really are hopeless I seriously don't know what you'd do without me.”

Len: “Live,” ‘I say sarcastically’. -_-

Erza: “Did you say something, I don't think I heard you correctly.”

Len: “no-no, I don't dare to say anything to my senior.”

Erza: “Whatever let’s go to school.”

Len lets out a sigh.

Len: “Looks like it's going to be another boring day, I really hate school”

(A/n: like hell your days are going to be boring, I’m going to make it so exciting that you'll need new organs when I'm done with you muahahaha *

*Thunder strikes in the background*).

E/n: I really liked that joke, it put a smile on my face.

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