Chapter 1: Babies suck
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There was a mistake. An error. No king ordered his summoning to battle a demon lord. No god sent him to save the world from destruction. In fact, the closest thing this world had to a god would have been very upset at his presence, had she noticed. Fortunately for him, by the time she noticed it was too late to interfere. A soul had fallen into the world that did not belong there. A soul not bound by the Law of the world. A soul that was free.


Ouch. That hurt. I lay unmoving, trying to fit together my fragmented memory of the last few minutes. There had been a truck. Very definitely a truck. No way I could have mistaken it for anything else from that close up. Frankly I was lucky to survive that... But then there was more. Floating in darkness, a feeling of pressure, more pain, a blinding light. Presumably I had been rushed to hospital, but I couldn't match the sensations to anything I would expect a doctor to do. I could have been dreaming, or half delirious. It was best to not try moving my body or neck; I didn't know what was broken. Probably everything.

Oddly, I wasn't at all in pain any more. Probably pumped full of morphine. I just felt extremely lethargic instead. Carefully opening my eyes, the room I was in thankfully was not too brightly lit, but all I could see were blurs. One of the blurs leant in.

"Xjev e cieavogam cecz cuz. Zuas peni ot Peter."

My ears didn't seem to be functioning a whole lot better than my eyes, but nevertheless I'm pretty sure that wasn't English. I think I picked my name up at the end though. A foreign doctor? They probably haven't noticed I'm conscious yet. I should probably try and speak to them.

"ah ah ah"

Huh? That wasn't right. Why was my mouth not doing what I wanted it to?

"ah ah"

"Aww, tu davi. Motvip vu vji duuoph."

"Davi et ov ot vu katv motvip, ov't ecuav voni zua hewi jon jot gostv giif."

"Zit. Et nadj et O duamf tvesi ev jon emm fez, zua'si sohjv."

A second voice had joined in, and this one sounded female. Don't just ignore me and have a conversation between yourselves in another language! I'm trying to get your attention here! As I was railing against the unprofessionalism inside the confines of my own head, one of the blurs leaned in again and picked me up. Wait, what? How?! I'm not exactly big boned, but I'm still over 80 kilos. You can't just pick me up like that! Besides, I probably have a broken everything. This isn't safe!

Whoever had picked me up was exceedingly gentle, cupping their hand around the back of my head and supporting my back against one arm. Even in my befuddled state, the inconsistency between my mental image of myself and what I was feeling couldn't be ignored. Either this person was very very large, or else I was... not large at all. A small but highly excited part of my brain was screaming something about trucks and isekai. It was typically not a part of my brain that I permitted to infringe on my day to day life, but in this case I wasn't being given much choice. Was it possible that I had been reincarnated?

My train of thought was rather epically derailed by something soft being pressed against my face. I've been reincarnated, but I'm a baby. Aren't we supposed to pop into the world as young teenagers, or at least wait a while before getting our memories back? That's how the stories go, isn't it? Why am I a baby?! Babies have to... drink. My senses are broken and I can hardly move. And lets not even start on the issue of excrement! This was going to be awful! By this point my body seemed to decide that if its brain was going to crash then it would have to take matters into its own hands. Or gums, as the case may be. As I sucked away, I shuddered at the thought of the embarrassment and shame that awaited me over the next couple of years.

The feeding session lasted an excruciating half hour. Or at least, half an hour of Earth time. Who knew how they measured time here? Wait, I'm assuming that because I've been reincarnated I'm not on Earth any more. It's true that I don't recognise the language they're using, but that doesn't mean anything. Earth has thousands of languages and I doubt I would recognise more than ten of them. How to find out? My eyesight wasn't good enough to check for obvious signs, for example mum having a big fluffy set of cat ears on her head. For that matter, if I was reincarnated to another world why should it match Earth's expectations of what a fantasy world should look like? Mum could be an eldritch tentacle horror for all I know.

With that thought striking me in the head with almost as much force as the truck, I quickly performed a count of my number of limbs. Left leg, check. Right leg, check. Arms? Present and correct. Fingers? Uncertain. I can't see them and my sense of touch isn't good enough in this position. Maybe I'll be able to find out once mum puts me back down. It was odd how rapidly I'd taken to thinking of this person as 'mum' though. I think the obvious love and care she was treating me with had flipped some sort of switch. Presumably the other person was my dad then. Trying to look around didn't work too well; my head wouldn't move properly and my blurred vision wasn't good enough to pick him out anyway. The best I could do was move my eyes around and aim at the blur I assumed was my mother. I hope this vision problem is just because I'm a baby, and not some sort of disease.

Mum placed me down onto some sort of soft surface. Maybe it was a cot, but I wasn't up to rolling around to find out. Then she... Oh damn, it seems we're on to the excrement part of the equation already. That's definitely some sort of nappy. Ignore it, ignore it. Fingers, yes, how many fingers do I have? I started poking my face with my hands, trying to check everything was in the right place. Fortunately it seemed that everything was. As far as I could tell with my barely functioning body, I was a perfectly healthy baby human. Which reminded me of something else I needed to check. Unfortunately it had just been hidden away under a tightly wrapped piece of cloth, so was out of reach for now. They called me Peter, and that's a boys name so hopefully it's safe to make an assumption. Perfectly healthy baby human boy it is unless proven otherwise.

Actually, that's another thing to worry about. If I've just reincarnated, how do I still have the same name? They can't have known who I was back on Earth. Did they know I was reincarnated? They didn't seem to be treating me as if they thought I was intelligent. And what about my family and friends back home? It's not as if I was anyone important, but that didn't mean there was no-one who would mourn my passing. I wish I'd at least had a chance to say goodbye. Plus there were a few TV series and novels I'd never get to find out the ending of. There was a serious lack of closure.

The small and embarrassing bit of my brain was shouting to get my attention again. Right, if this is any sort of half decent isekai situation, I should have some sort of status and level. The old me would never lay there shouting 'status' hoping for a status display to appear, but right now I've just been breast fed and had my nappy changed. My standards of sanity had been considerably lowered. Speaking was out of the question, so I just thought 'status' really hard instead.

Name: Peter
Species: Human
Class: Commoner (Level 1)
Soul Points: 0
Health: 6/6
Stamina: 2/6
Mana: 15/15
Strength: 1
Dexterity: 1
Endurance: 1
Intelligence: 10
Wisdom: 10
Charisma: 5
Skills: None
Traits: [Abnormal Soul]
Titles: None

It came out! It really came out! I've reincarnated into a fantasy RPG world! Or been kidnapped by some evil corporation that wants to perform experiments on full-dive VR systems. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to tell the two options apart. Anyway, functionally it makes no difference, so starting from the top: Name confirmed as Peter. No family name. It's often the case in fantasy stories that only the nobility have family names, and that matches with my class of commoner. Species confirmed as human. Gender or age doesn't show up at all. No idea what soul points are for, or if it's bad I don't have any. I've lost a lot of stamina for some reason, but given what I've just been through I wont question it. I have mana! That means magic! Fantasy world checkbox, checked. Physical stats are all as low as can be. Of course they are; I'm a baby! Mental stats are much higher, presumably due to inheriting my previous life's memories. No skills. Fair enough; again, baby. That trait though... That does not sound good. Can I get more info? Maybe if I focus on it really hard?

[Abnormal Soul] - The structure of your soul is completely alien to the lands you walk. You are immune to the effects of soul magic, unless specially tailored towards you. (Rank 4)

Good, that isn't as bad as it sounded. Just a side effect of arriving from another world. I have no idea if rank four is high or not, or what ranks even are, but I don't think it changes anything either way. And if I can get extra details like that, perhaps I can check out some other things the same way?

[Human] - A sentient race. Known for their adaptability and growth, humans are born weak but develop rapidly. They can show equal talent in either physical or magical disciplines.
[Commoner] - Default class. No special features. (Rank 1)
[Soul Points] - Used to purchase new skills. Earned by levelling and acting in accordance with your class.

So soul points were a form of currency used to purchase new skills. In that case it's expected I have none, and I'll look forward to earning some. The last entry in the status stated that I had no titles. I'd have expected 'reincarnator' or something, but if that's not how things work here I'm not going to complain. It seemed like I didn't have any world-breaking cheats either, aside from the obvious of having adult intelligence at age zero. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I was never one for playing computer games on easy mode; if there wasn't a challenge, what was the point? But with my life at stake and no reload button, maybe I should be thinking differently.

With the contents of my status out of the way it was time to address the elephant in the room. Why the heck is my status all completely clear despite my atrocious eyesight, and all written in English?! Presumably I'm not actually 'seeing' it, and something is writing it straight into my brain somehow? And English is obviously not the local language. Does it show up in a language appropriate for each person? That would be useful, but I wonder how it works? Is that even a sensible question, given the existence of magic? But then again, how did that quote go? 'Any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic', I think it was. For all I know 'magic' is handled by a bunch of nano-machines floating in the air and a big computer somewhere.

Anyway, regardless of how it works, an opportunity to use magic is awesome enough to tolerate being a baby for a bit. I'll promise to stop complaining. I wonder if I can practise magic despite being a baby? Probably not; I have no idea how to even start. Besides, however cool it is I have more important things I need to do. Picking up the local language for one, not to mention relearning how limbs are supposed to work. And mouths. I flailed around randomly for a bit, trying to get a feel for my new body.

"Muul ev jon hu. Xi'wi tasi huv ep ipishivod upi jisi."

Hah, in my excitement I'd forgotten my parents were here. No matter. I seem to have been born to a loving family, and neither of them seem stressed so we probably aren't about to be invaded or murdered or eaten by the local wildlife. I have time. Actually, I'm getting rather sleepy. A quick glance at my status showed stamina had dropped to one. I guess that for a newborn simply being awake is a major drain on resources. Nap time.

I smiled to myself as I easily drifted off to sleep. This new life was looking promising already.

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