Noire then cleared her throat, getting us all back on the earlier topic of discussion, “Anyway, it seems there is no other information Gabriella and Tyvera can provide for us, so if there really is a third party that is on your tail, Jinma, then this is quite a bind. I can also understand why you are concerned to leave Sue alone while we are gone for a few days. What do you propose we do to solve this dilemma?”
“I was wondering if it was possible for Sue to come with us in the dungeon crawl,” I suggested.
“Art thou sure that solution is wise, Jinma?” Eugus asked with a furrowed brow, “In regards to the trip from Dondegarm to Palocaesy yesterday, while it was also initially a pre-trial to escort Sue, who was coincidentally going in the same direction as us, that had to be glossed over when we found out thy quest was being compromised by Lord Rowling’s authority. I was planning on giving thee an outing after yesterday’s events, but this arrangement thou art suggesting raises the quest’s difficulty level. Thou would have to assist Lady Noire in battle while making sure no harm comes to Sue.”
“I won’t get into anybody’s way throughout the dungeon crawl,” Sue intervened with a hand to her chest, “In fact, I wish to be a temporary member of Jinma’s party and be as much assistance to him as I’m able. It’s the least I could do for him to go out of his way to protect me. It may be dangerous deep in the dungeon, but I believe it’s safer for me to stick with Jinma and his party than to be on my own out here.”
“Hmm … so you trust Jinma enough to put your life in his hands? Is that what you are telling us?” Noire asked with an inquisitive stare.
“I’m … uncertain, if I have to be really honest, but I want to trust him, and I’m confident enough that Jinma can pull it off,” Sue answered with determined eyes.
It’s pretty much what she said to me back at the inn, only with some additional details, and I didn’t sense any hints of lies in them with my [Intuition] skill. Honestly, I was glad she didn’t fully trust me yet, because I’d question her sanity if what she did to Nyra and I last night was out of some weird ‘devotion’ to me instead of the Demon King.
“Jinma? Do you feel confident about protecting both Sue and myself in the case of dire circumstances?” Noire then asked me.
“Back in my bodyguard days, I had to put up with a lot of shit, but I never let my clients and coworkers get hurt under my watch. My track record as well as the scars on my body can speak for themselves how likely it is for me to protect you both,” I answered.
“Really? Do you mind showing us your scars to prove your point, then?” Noire asked.
“I don’t mind at all,” I said as I was about to start unbuttoning my shirt, but then a white beastly paw was placed on my hand to stop me.
“Please allow me to disrobe you, Master,” Ren said, standing in front of me with a stoic stare, but her erratically wagging tail told her mood otherwise.
<You might want to let her have this one, Jinma,> Nyra suggested, <Though she’s a part of your harem, she’s technically your slave first and foremost in the general public. Noire and the others here might question your leadership if you don’t have your slave do things for you.>
Nyra’s logic in this seemed skewed to me, but that might be the common sense from back home thinking that. She’s lived in this world much longer than I have, and the memories of those she previously possessed could tell her plenty of how things have changed between her times of freedom.
Despite how excited Ren seemed, she was likely thinking of our social positions as well. That was why she jumped up to stop me, knowing how little experience I have in slave ownership so far. It was a bit unnerving, having someone do menial things for me, but I had to follow Nyra’s advice and go through with this just once.
“... Alright then, do your thing,” I said while holding my arms up on my sides slightly.
“Yes, Master.”
Despite how stubby Ren’s paws were, she was able to unbutton me very quickly. Maybe it was part of her slave training to tend to the clothes for their masters to change in and out of. In a matter of seconds, I was stripped of my dress shirt and blazer, totally topless. I felt strangely nostalgic as I thought back to my first big fight in Dondegarm.
“Oh my …” Noire said as I showed her and everyone else my front and back.
<Oooh, this is interesting,> Nyra said, <You don’t have your [Demon Pheromones] on, but Noire and Yukino are getting quite turned on right now. So are a few of the maids, and ... well, this might just be even more interesting.>
<What?> I asked with a raised brow.
<Julius is getting turned on from seeing your back right now,> Nyra informed.
<Uh … what does that mean, exactly?>
<I’ve actually caught hints of it yesterday, but I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t say anything, but with this ... yes, I could definitely see it clearly now. Julius has got the hots for you! I bet you he came all this way from the Human-Kin’s Territory to see how attractive you are too!> she exclaimed.
I tried not to let it show on my face, but I was unamused, <... Yeah, so, I don’t have a thing for guys like I do for girls, so there’s no way that’s ever happening.>
<Awww, really? Not even a little ‘experimentation’ to assure that?> she asked.
<No,> I answered with no hesitation.
I’ve ‘seen’ my share of guys through all the brawls I went through on Earth, with the occasional passive-aggressive asshole who’s too chicken to say it to my face on the side. Putting the non-human males aside, seeing Julius being welcoming and kind to me was a surprising change of pace. I’ll admit he has his own charms in looks and personality, but I don’t ever see myself being with him or any other guy in that sort of way.
“Well, I think you have shown enough to prove your point, Jinma, you may dress yourself,” Noire said.
“Allow me, Master,” Ren said as she quickly put my blazer and dress shirt back on me with great dexterity and finesse, buttoning me up with impressive speed.
I smirked and petted Ren’s head, borrowing my [Petting] skill, “Thank you, Ren.”
“Mm,” she responded with a nod and a contented smile before sitting back on her seat cushion.
“Now then, if you really believe you can look after the both of us, Jinma, then I will allow Sue to join us in our dungeon crawl,” Noire stated, leaving all of us in my party shocked.
“Art thou sure about this, Lady Krauss?” Eugus asked.
“I have found Jinma’s party to be interesting and full of surprises so far, so I am curious to see how they will fare escorting two people. Besides,” Noire said before looking over to Sue’s direction, calmly scanning her form with a calculating stare, “I have actually been curious to know who Sue is since I first saw her yesterday, so this may be a good chance for me to learn more about her. If you could enlighten me for a moment, Sue, but … have we ever met before?”
With a hand to her bosom, Sue bowed her head with eyes closed, “I am but a lowly Arch Imp who happens to be well-read of the Krauss family’s exploits throughout their history of nobility. I am as humbled to be in your presence today as I was yesterday in our very first meeting.”
“So, we have not met before yesterday?” Noire asked.
Sue shook her head, still holding her pose, “I am afraid not, Lady Krauss.”
Noire squinted her eyes at Sue more inquisitively than before, “Hmm … very well then, perhaps I was mistaken in my perception. Regardless, I hope that we may get along as Jinma escorts us.”
“I would be honored to make your acquaintance, Lady Krauss,” Sue said before sitting back up in her seat.
I didn’t notice any signs of my [Intuition] skill going off throughout Noire’s and Sue’s exchange, but there was something not sitting right in my own gut.
I just had to ask Sue through [Telepathy], <How much of what you said just now was true?>
<... I am well informed of the Krauss family’s history and I do wish to get along with Noire throughout the dungeon crawl, but those are about the only truths I spoke to her,> Sue admitted with a straight face.
<So, you actually aren’t an Arch Imp, and you really have met Noire before … as somebody else?> I asked.
<You may take what you’ve just seen of me as my ‘formal public’ face that I’ve been using for years now,> Sue explained, <My name and what you’ve seen of me in private are small parts of who I really am that I’m willing to share only with you, Jinma. And before you ask, I only appear as an Arch Imp due to a Null Spell. Despite the other measures I’ve taken to look completely different to Noire, though, she still thought she has seen me somewhere before. Her perception is actually quite sharp, just like her father.>
<Huh … so are those large tits part of this magic disguise of yours too?>
<Ah, we really are alike, Jinma asking the questions that really matter,> Nyra commented.
<Oh no, they’re very real, but I can certainly make them look smaller or bigger than what they really are, as well as the rest of me,> Sue answered, <I just have to be careful of not touching anyone if the disguise is too different from the rest of me or I’ll be seen through right away.>
<Whew! That’s a relief! I would flip if what we’ve been feeling up to now were lies! That kind of deceit is unforgivable!> Nyra exclaimed.
I mentally broke my [Telepathy] from Sue for a moment, <Nyra, have you searched through my memories enough to know what plastic surgery is?>
<No, why? What is it?> I imagined a figure in Nyra’s place tilting her head in confusion after asking.
<It’s pretty subtle, but you’ll probably know what it is once you stumble across it. I don’t want to spoil the surprise,> I answered.
<Oh come on! Don’t tease me like that!>
Putting Nyra’s antics aside, it seems Sue also knows Noire’s dad, the Minister of Defense and Weaponry, as well. Yeah, that’s not a total bomb dropped on my conscience, but that’s not what was standing out to me the most.
Since we first met yesterday, Sue didn’t hesitate on making physical contact with me, especially last night, yet I didn’t notice anything off about her through all those times we touched. If Sue was telling the truth about her magic disguise’s properties and restrictions, then the body I’ve been seeing and feeling on my side right now resembled her true form the most.
Sue was a legit shortstack, emphasis on ‘stack’ when it comes to her breasts and ass. The clothes she’s wearing right now must be real too. I’ve seen many Arch Imps up to now having a pinkish-purple color tone on their skin, so that has to be fake on Sue. What about her platinum-pink pigtails? Her amber eyes? Her pair of small white bison horns? Her purplish-black bat-like wings, or even her spade-headed tail of the same color?
Is Sue revealing herself like this to hint me on what her real identity looks like? Does this suggest that she’s planning on revealing her true self in due time? Once again, the more info I found on this Sue, whatever race she is, the more questions sprung up in my mind.
<Well, putting that tease aside, we found something else significant in Sue and Noire’s exchange,> Nyra pointed out, reading my thoughts.
<We did?>
<Sue just said it herself that her knowledge on Noire’s family history and intentions to get acquainted were the only truths she told her. You didn’t catch any hint of her lies with your [Intuition] skill. What do you think this means?> Nyra asked me.
That knowledge made me realize something, and I felt a chill in my spine because of it, Sue doesn’t just have the [Deception] skill, but she’s able to fool my [Intuition] as well, even while it’s at max proficiency. So … whatever she’s doing to pull that off, I have literally NO means to tell apart her truths from lies. That means her saying of only telling the truth to me could also be a big fat lie, as well as wanting to trust me, and—
<Whoooa, calm down, stud,> Nyra interrupted, stopping me from my panicked line of thoughts, <Did you forget you have me to help you with her legitimacy too? Sue looks calm right now, but the feelings behind her words seemed resolute, with a hint of desperate hope that you believe her. You really think she has some freaky means to fake that?>
Nyra’s reason calmed me down somewhat, but I was still a bit on edge of this chilling discovery of not distinguishing between Sue’s truths and lies.
Sensing my anxiety, Nyra sighed, <If that isn’t enough to make sure she’s telling the truth, there is one person who can help you find the means to detect truths and lies one-hundred-percent every time.>
<You … know of such a person? Who?>
<DUDE! Goddess Obina?! The Immortal you’re representing?! The same busty, ethereal goddess who gave you a bracelet that includes a shop selling every item that exists since ever?!> Nyra practically screamed.
<... Ah, right. Speaking of Obina, didn’t she say I should visit a church or something and try praying at an Immortals’ Monument at some point? Maybe she can guide me on what I should do about this.>
<There you go, now we’re getting somewhere! Sheesh, just where the hell would you even be right now without me?> Nyra exasperated.
“Jinma? Is something a matter?” Noire asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You seemed like you had something deep in mind,” Noire said.
“Oh, no, it’s nothing major. I was just brainstorming how to go about the dungeon crawl tomorrow while escorting two people,” I lied on the spot, putting my [Deception] to work.
“Ah, slow on planning, I see. Very dependable,” Noire praised before giving a graceful, beautiful smile.
“It’s not much, really …” Still, for me to space out that long, even with my [Hyper Thought Processing] speeding up my thinking process, I was more rattled at Sue’s thing than I thought.
“Anyway, if Jinma can follow through with his word, Sue will be joining us in the dungeon crawl as a last-minute addition to the group,” Noire said, clapping her hands together, “Are we in agreement?”
“Personally, I, the Great Beelzebub! Am still not convinced,” the fly demon spoke up, hopping from her seat and pointing at me, “Your body may have shown how many close-calls you survived from, but that doesn’t speak to what you’re actually able to do, does it? I need some more eye-opening evidence than that.”
“I do see your point, Beelzebub, and perhaps we will see what he and his wife can do with a proposal I planned ahead,” Noire said.
“What’s that?” I asked.
Noire gave a brief smile that had a mischievous glint to it, “A demonstration of fighting prowess, of course, with a sparring duel between you and Mei versus Gabriella and Beelzebub.”
I read all your chapters so far. I wanted to write a short rewiev, but it came out this long. I really love the story and the reason there is so many things that bothered me is because this story had/has so much potential to be a gem. I hope you don't take offense.
MY OPPINION: The very start of this story is confusing and a little over the top(fast paced). You should have started with his life on Earth with at least a chaper or more so we can know more about his situation and character. But after a few chapters the story really pulled me in. It started to deliver what the title promoted. A very op main character with a dark past and much more.
The next thing that bothered me was how after just 40 or so chapters his main power or in other words his blessing became useless. He wanted it so he could have a guarantee of survival in this world and you implemented a ore/weapon that completely ignores it even the one hit KO passive with its 'vibration'. And it isn't even that rare if anybody can buy it with enough money.
The fighting style of the mc is great and his reasons for fighting as well. I like how he doesn't discriminate betwen race or gender(usually), but I can't get behind how he isn't bothered by slavery al that much.
After around chapter 70 the story slows down a lot and loses some off the gripping aspect. Mainly there is almost no more fighting and leveling. In other words it is taking to long to get to the dungeon arc(). You did introduce Sue here and did very well in hinting the whole time that she is the demon king. That made things a lot better but it did change the feel od the story. The hints were very obscure and that made them awesome.
The last few chapters were the hardest to read, because it was very frustraiting how he reacted to mind minipulation, betrayal, indangering his women, lying and MIND MINIPULATION. Like how isn't Sue enemy number 1 or at least if he thinks he can't beat her why isn't he more scared and thinking of ways to prevent her powers. And not to mention he still intends to make love to her. He started thinking with his D more than his head.
I think a fight that he would win only because Sue can't show her true power and colors, would have been a great choice. That would have also added a way to try to bring her back as a love interest, by her trying not to fight hurt him and also made the hype of here secret more entertainment. Just an idea for future novels.
Keep up the good work!
I'm honestly still a green writer, so any valid criticism that seems beneficial for my growth would be helpful. For putting in this much effort in a review, I'll try to answer the best I can convey in a few points in order.
1. This story was my first public release on a different platform, which was about 2-3 years ago before I started putting the chapters here, so my 'start' to this story could admittedly use some polishing. Since the very first chapter was slow and explained a bit of Jinma's situation, I wanted to get right into the action soon after he arrived so the reader doesn't get bored with the story right away. That's why it may have been more confusingly fast-paced than you may have liked. If I'm doing a retcon later, I'd like to fix this as a start (especially that 'beta' problem people kept pointing out).
2. I'm trying to make ways to bypass Jinma's OP defense very limited and special, such as making an item, skill, or ability rare and hard to come by. I like OP characters, but I believe as a writer/creator that if they don't have at least one weakness they need to look out for, there's not only little room for these characters to grow, but it just makes the character itself blander than you think. Isekai Smartphone's MC, (one of my guilty pleasures) is probably a good example of what an OP character shouldn't be if you want a well-rounded story, imho.
3. Yeah, the slavery thing might have been glossed over a bit too fast. Jinma has been in a shady business before getting isekai'd, which could numb him to controversial things like this, but I should probably add more context to his dark past.
4. Slow pacing in a story is probably my biggest weakness right now. I know I'll need to work on moderating the pace to not drag things along, but I'm glad Sue's introduction went as well as I had hoped.
5. I know how Sue's recent actions had put her in a bad light right now, but honestly, it could have been worse. If this happened before she and Jinma had that intimate night together, then I think it would make more sense for him to just off her right there, end of question; otherwise, he'd be dumber as a character to let her off easy after that. That's why I had this done after their intimate night to give Jinma more of a conflicting struggle in weighing his morals and values. Why Sue even resorted to this in the first place is also rather complicated, but I hope to give her enough of a redemption in later chapters that will help explain everything she's done up to now. I'm actually planning on such a fight to hopefully break the tensions between them and give her that head start in redemption as you pointed out.
Hope this answered enough of your points. Thanks again for your feedback and I hope you'll still continue reading my stories.
Thank you for replying and answering my thoughts on the novel. It is rare to see such an extensive and indepth reply from the author. It really helped me settle my frustrations with the story. I will definitely continue reading the story. Too many good point that I really like in it to stop :).
I am satisfied with all your reasonings, but would like to add just a bit. With his OP defense blessing, the first thought I got when I read its description is what about a soul attacks whitch usually ignore defense and require hard training of the soul or some other lucky opportunity or encounter. It is also very similar to mind reading and memory manipulation so you probably already thought about it.
Last thing: You haven't mentioned his skill that hides his titles and skills in quite some time. So I was wondering if Sue can see those. If not he should start hiding more of his skills for the future.
Thank you again so much for replying. It made my day
. Keep up the good work and stay safe in real life.
@valci
1. I actually didn't think about 'soul attacks', but I think I heard something similar from a story, 'So I'm a Spider, So What?' as dealing 'heresy damage'? I think I understand what that means but that could also be rather confusing if the 'soul' or something isn't clearly defined or how it can be strengthened or weakened. I haven't really put any descriptions like that in this story so far and I think it would be weird to include it now, so I'll likely leave out that kind of 'mechanic' in this story.
2. So Jinma does have a skill that sorts what can and can't be viewed in his status, but Sue's able to see through all that due to special circumstances. Under normal circumstances, though, nobody should see the skills and such Jinma put away in his 'private box', if I had to name where he hides them.
“Ah, slow on planning, I see. Very dependable,” Noire praised before giving a graceful, beautiful smile.
How is being called 'slow on planning' counted as praise? I thought she made a sarcastic remark?
And as Beelzebub said, why did everyone/anyone else seem to think his scars had anything to do with his success as a bodyguard until she pointed it out? Shouldn't they have asked from the start when he mentioned the scars what those had to do with anything relevant? If anything a lot of scars would make you think he lost a lot of fights but luckily got away/survived.
Also the way he forgets to use the goddesses bracelet is kinda outputting. Checking the store for useful stuff should have been like a self imposed daily quest for him after he found out new stuff was added now and then. As it is I think he didn't even properly check it once? I think it was also mentioned the bracelet was like a portable immortal' monument so why would he need to go pray to one at a church?
Can't wait for the next chapter! ? 2nd
Thanks for the chapter