POV: John, the first
Date: August 5, 1994
Time: 3:00 PM

I've fought these things before. Whatever they are, they're not human, which leaves three options. They seem too set in the cultures of Earth to be aliens. I find them being actual spirit beings like demons to be laughable, so that's out too. That leaves mole people. So obviously I don't know what they are, but I know there's an explanation for them. I just don't know what it is, and while I'm fighting for my life I can't exactly stop and figure it out.

One of my cards has stuck itself in my collar and, I can only presume because of this, I've been knowing the names of these freaks as I fight them. I'd say there's six left alive in the room. I've already destroyed the likes of Bishop Gormodedd, Father Stuprum, Prince Safah and his daughter Fusuq. The Witch of Chernobyl's guts are covering the floor next to the door, right beside the corpse of Taur Magog and Pilssen Sup. I don't know what half these names mean, mind you, but it's nice to know that I can say I killed it.

Kicking the Executioner of Anbar's head off to the side, I called up a line of cards to protect my arm, which I used to block Monoba's long claws. The cards turned and split his arm apart, then turned and took his head off. Shimshili, his wife apparently, lashed at me with a long spined tongue. Cards flying every which way, I had her tongue diced into pieces. I closed the distance and grabbed her around the neck with my own hand. It didn't feel too bad to get my hand actually on one of these things.

I took a look around the room to see where the others were hiding. Serengeti Maneater was dead, Thunder Shaman was dead, Ban Yeog was dead, so who else do we have? Ah, there we go. I can see Cotton King and Ubugebengu Bempi readying their attack. Mr. Fuhai is doing something and I can't tell what because he's hiding behind one of the marble columns. Finally I can see something moving along the ceiling. It's camoflaged, so I can't make out its form, but I can tell its there and that its name is Bilimankhwe. I don't make these names up, I just report them.

Okay, gotta deal with that nonsense, and then the guy who's hiding out there needs to go. A spray of cards at the ceiling, and 'Billy-Man-Guy' drops to the ground with a splatter. He's still moving, so I lift my foot up and stomp on his head, crushing it. Shimshili is screeching bloody murder at me for killing her husband, so I take a card and slam it into the top of her head. She stops moving, so I drop her and turn back to the rest of the room.

Fuhai was the first to move, jumping out into the open with some sort of rifle that was leaking a glowing orange liquid out of it. I brought up cards to block the shots, which sounded like they were exploding with the sounds of screams. I don't like that one bit, so I sent another hand of cards shooting into him, cutting that weapon in half and tearing the man's body apart. The bright blue blood flying everywhere is always a good sign I didn't just kill a real person.

I could smell sulfur as the bodies around me were starting to incinerate away. According to Mary, this happens because their life force is all that keeps this from happening, so once they're dead it's apparently their blood that just burns up their bodies. Bempi and Cotton King looked ready to fight, and I didn't really feel like letting them do that. I called all the cards together into a wall to block them from me, and sent the wall flying at them. They both jumped to the side just in time to escape death. Well done, you lived for another few seconds.

Cotton King turned and pointed to me. "Mortal, I will give you this last opportunity. Serve us, and your death will be postponed."

No, not happening. "You look like you're too used to people serving you." Seriously, this ass looks like he came off a cotton plantation almost two hundred years ago. The other one looks like some African warlord. Should they really be fighting beside each other? Well, I guess they have the suffering and pain of black people in common. "Just look around you. You're not special. You're next."

"Fool." Bempi boy here thinks I haven't been called a fool before. "The Principalities are not to be trifled with. These others are weak, they deserve death. We are not like the rest here." I feel like any of them would have said this.

Safah walked between the two of them, half his head still missing. Unfortunately, his mouth was still there. "Mr. Smith, was it? You seem to be under a mistaken impression. We are the Principalities of the Earth. The only one here that will be missed is my daughter, and you will be repaid for her death."

I'm starting to get tired of talking to this drippy dude. What even is that white liquid coming out of him? "Okay, let's try this." I can offer him a deal. Demons love deals. "You guys go back home to hell, and I let you. Sound appealing?"

"Imbecile-"

I interrupted Safah's answer cause it sounded like a no just with more syllables. All of the cards, every single one, formed into a stream that struck him in the chest, blasting his body apart and showering the other two with his white blood stuff. His head rolled away to safety, and I could still hear it cursing me, so that's not great.

Bempi opened fire, crimson streaks of fire scoring the wall behind where I would have been if I didn't move out of the way. Getting rid of that gun was my next objective. I didn't have time to think of a method of achieving that goal, since Cotton King appeared next to me. I ducked under his leg just in time to avoid ending up like the marble column behind me, which shattered and collapsed.

I called a hand of cards up and slashed his leg off. When he started to fall, I reached under him and grabbed the best, easiest, most painful place for a man to be grabbed, and crushed it in my hand, also grabbing a hold of the back of his neck. Spinning around, I held him in front of Bempi's gun and let the fire do my work for me. Before he could be fully perforated, I threw him at Bempi and dove behind the strange black stone altar in the center of the room.

Taking cover felt odd. I wanted to stop, so I called my cards to my hand. None of them came. That wasn't a good sign. Bempi came around the altar and pointed his gun at me. Cardless, I'm not yet defenseless. I grabbed the barrel of the rifle and pushed it away before he could pull that trigger. While he was tearing up the floor like a maniac renovator, I reached up with my other hand and grabbed his arm, pulling him closer to me. Once he was close enough, I grabbed his head and slammed it into the altar. He let go of the gun and staggered back, clutching his head wound as yellowy puss flowed from the new head wound.

Standing up, weapon in hand, I could finally see what was keeping my cards from me. Safah's body was destroyed, but that milky white shit inside his body had all coalesced into a floating white ball of dripping ooze. First of all, ew. Second, long tentacles of slime were coming out of it, and all of my cards were caught in them, stuck.

I didn't want to deal with both of these guys, so I turned the gun and blew away Bempi. He dropped pretty convincingly, so I knew he was dealt with. Safah was a different beast. A lot more dangerous, judging by his... dare I say, his true form. I gotta try, first, so I fired Bempi's gun into the center of the white mass. It was working, and the whole thing was writhing in agony, but it wasn't dying. I turned the gun towards the tentacles and started blasting them off, severing them. That was pretty good, seeing those things evaporate and drop my cards.

Calling the cards back, I threw the gun at Safah. I didn't need it anymore, and it felt like it was starting to shake apart, maybe unstable, since it looked like it was made in hell. It stuck into the white mass, and I sent a card to punch through it. Safah's last scream was cut off by a fireball that engulfed him, and then the whole thing collapsed into a point. The second I thought it was over, the whole room shifted, the walls and ceiling cracking and the floor splitting open. I think it was just a response to Safah's death. He really must have stood a league above the others in some way.

I was done here, so I had to get Melany. Heading out into the hallway, I turned to find another fight scene had just ended. Two more of these shitheads were standing in the hallway. A big black one, whose name was Diver, and a red skeleton named Reichstag. Also, when I say Diver was black, I mean like jet black, not like black people. He looked like a demon, not a person. Important distinction, just saying.

They noticed me, and Diver dropped the corpse of what looked like a plague doctor. I don't know what that was doing here, but it's dead now. Perhaps a demon, but I don't know why they would be fighting. Reichstag dropped what he was holding, the head of a woman, next to a headless body which I presume belonged to the same person. Both bodies were starting to steam, letting off blue wisps into the air. There were others behind them, also starting to disintegrate. Demon on demon action?

Diver addressed me about as politely as you'd expect. "The feeble human has beaten the others? Impressive. I must admit, I am not as interested in avenging them or testing this mortal's strength as I am in observing the power vacuum he has just created."

Reichstag gargled something incoherent, blood pouring out of his mouth.

Diver grumbled. "Very well, mortal. We will let you pass."

A black shadow climbed up through the air, enveloping them both before receding again, and they were gone. Well, that was easier than I expected. Still don't like being called 'mortal' and 'feeble'. I just very well proved just how 'feeble' I am, pretty sure, and you have no proof that I'm mortal. You don't know that until I die, which I don't intend on doing.

I stepped over the dead and decaying demons in the hallway and drew the Four of Spades. "I need to find Melany." The card flew off towards the front of the casino, and I followed it. Out into the street, the card continued to lead me all the way to where my car had been parked. It wasn't there anymore. Damn it all, Melany.