Ryan drifted in an abyss, his rage futile. The Titan strained his senses to find something, but he couldn't even feel his body.  A moment ago, he was on top of the Hobgoblin Warlord.

Did I die? Ryan wondered what caused the sudden shift to nothing, his emotions churning inside him. 

Once I load into my Lobby, I'll figure out-

While Ryan strained his senses, puzzling at his circumstance, a new sensation filled his mind. Pain. All over the Titan's body, which returned to him in the same moment, agony echoed through him. 

Ryan was stunned. Unlike the dulled pain in Frontier Online, this misery assaulted the giant's nerves full-force. The diver felt something hard under him. His body twisted into a painful position that forced his twisted back further out of shape.

Torment cried out to him from every part of his body. A headache pulsed in time with the giant's pulse, pounding and overwhelming Ryan's other senses.

"Useless!"

Confused, Ryan's heart began to race. Slowly, a repetitive clamor rang in the Titan's ears. Inside the racket, he heard a voice filled with malice. Once Ryan mastered himself enough, he forced his eyes open through sheer willpower. 

"Piece of shit!"

His eyelids resisted, but Ryan stubbornly forced them open, his heart beating even faster. Flakes of material came away when he opened his eyes, but the giant was too distracted to wonder at them. He stared numbly for a moment before his heart thundered painfully through Ryan's head.

"W-what...!" Ryan tried to shout, interrupted by his own coughing fit. The Titan's throat spasmed, aggravating the cough and the pain wash over him again.

A short distance from Ryan, a tall figure dressed sharply in a clean suit held the giant's cane like a bat while he beat Ryan's capsule to pieces. The man raised Ryan's cane repeatedly, crushing the head of the cane into the mangled, sparking remains of the gaming capsule. 

The Titan reached up to hold his throat, recovering enough to shout, "J-JOHN, STOP!" 

John whirled around, the cane raised over his head. A single step was all it took to bridge the gap, and John viciously kicked Ryan in the ribs. The Titan lay on the floor in his underwear, twisted and already covered in blood.

In no position to defend himself, Ryan tried to put his arm between his ribs and John's foot. The air rushed from his lungs as the other man's kick blew past Ryan's weak guard and buried itself in his stomach.

"That isn't my name! Never call me that!" John reared back to kick Ryan again.

"You!" He brought the cane down on Ryan's head, rattling the Titan's brain hard enough to feel nauseated. 

"Useless! Fucking! Cripple!" Attacks continued to pour down on Ryan in between John's words.

Ryan ached inside and out, the torment piercing into the core of his soul, past its jaded shell. 

Why?

More attacks fell on his body, but Ryan was beyond the pain. 

Why?! Why can't I have this one thing?

The giant struggled, squirming to get his knees under him. Blood gushed from the fresh blows to his head, partially blinding him and dyeing his vision red. Rivulets of crimson ran down Ryan's body as John continued to lose his mind.

Ryan's torturer stepped back, screaming, " You exist to support the family! I am your only family, you little shit!" John kicked Ryan in the ribs again, nearly driving the air from the Titan's lungs.

John jabbed the cane at the ruined capsule, "You don't play games. You don't get luxuries. You don't get a choice!" He raised the cane higher and brought it down as hard as he could, laughing hysterically. John's gleeful grin was like a kid's on Christmas day.

The sound of John's laughter, manic and familiar, broke the Titan out of his reverie. Incensed, Ryan reached next to him and pulled down one of his wire bookshelves. The tall shelves tipped easily, falling over Ryan's back and blocking John's attack.

Ryan's cane, already abused from the capsule's destruction, snapped in half where it met the wireframe. An enormous crack resounded through Ryan's apartment.

As though he'd been waiting for it, Ryan heaved the bookshelf off his back. The Titan dove from his position on the ground and tackled John's legs. The two fell to the ground, tangled in Ryan's belongings from the tipped shelf. 

John beat at Ryan's head with the cane's broken haft, scoring red welts across the Titan's head and shoulders. Ignoring all the pain, Ryan forced himself to sit up.

Then he caught John's next attack a moment before he stabbed the jagged end of the cane into Ryan's stomach. The giant absorbed the blow, his back screaming as the two men fought over the implement.

John, powered by the latest advancements money could buy, twisted away from Ryan's grasp.  He gave up the cane's haft, throwing Ryan off balance.

John then twisted and crawled away, kicking Ryan in the chest to drive him back. 

John nearly got back to his feet before Ryan, holding his broken cane like an ice-pick, stabbed the jagged wood into John's thigh. Ryan's immense reach advantage ensured he was still in range.

John cried out, grabbing the wound and crumbling to his knees. 

Ryan took the chance to crawl forward and grab John again. On instinct, Ryan performed the last maneuver he memorized that night and put his tormentor into a headlock. As fate willed it, John wasn't a goblin but was twice as sadistic.

John struggled in his grip. Hale and whole, Ryan's attacker was strong enough to roll the two of them around the floor. More bookshelves tumbled to the ground, crashing on top of the thrashing pair.

Unused to the abuse, John gasped in Ryan's arms. The smaller man managed to wriggle around until he had space. John then began to drive his elbow into Ryan's ribs.

The two of them were locked in a stalemate that John was determined to break. Despite his lack of oxygen, John drove his elbow harder and harder into Ryan's ribs, forcing the Titan to grunt painfully. 

Even though Ryan was a Titan, his ribs could only take a certain amount of abuse. Enhanced by nanites, gene therapy, and the best trainers, John was strong enough to break Ryan's ribs.

"Go ahead," Ryan hissed into his John's ear, "Cave in my fucking chest!"

Ryan panted as he held his thrashing attacker, slowly choking him.

"I don't care anymore, John. I don't care what happens. I won't let go, even if you kill me."Inside, Ryan's gut twisted in turmoil. Despite how much he hated the man, Ryan didn't want to kill him.

"You've got one chance to limp out of here," Ryan whispered, John's struggles getting weaker, "Don't ever appear in front of me again. Take the companies, take the name, I don't care. Just leave me the hell alone!" 

Ryan screamed the last sentence in John's ear before he shoved him away. John's dark grey suit was soaked through with the Titan's blood but otherwise unmarked if someone overlooked the ragged hole in his leg.

John coughed, roughly throwing bookshelves off as he half stumbled/half crawled out of Ryan's room. Above all else, John prioritized his own life. The stark reminder that Ryan, however broken, was still a Titan, frightened him. With half a meter between their heights, Ryan was a threat as long as he could move.

John's little puppet wasn't supposed to fight back. Ryan should be broken in.

Still pinned under a bookshelf, Ryan laid panting in silence. In the crushing quiet, the only sound besides the Titan's breathing was the sparking ruin of his gaming capsule. The once clean lines of blue energy flared intermittently, illuminating Ryan's dark, destroyed room.

As he listened to the crackling capsule, Ryan's heart began to race again. Ryan should be relieved that he finally resisted his possessive "family." He should be.

But, as he lay there, the Titan grew angrier. 

Resisting? Rebelling? What the fuck does this do for me? 

The restrictions on Ryan's bank account, his archaic choice of payment, his back, even the white streaks in Ryan's hair- partially healed scars- were John's doing. Everything about Ryan's life bore John's brand.

Even Apostle, the enormous school-city, existed as a gilded cage Ryan was fated never to leave.

Unable to break from the thought loop, Ryan kicked the bookshelf off his body, determined to stand. Innumerable cuts and bruises covered the Titan, calling for his attention, but Ryan refused to give in.

Not showing pain was the only way to get back at John for a long time, so Ryan was particularly good at it.

Slowly but surely, Ryan got to his feet, subconsciously looking for his cane before he stared at the bloody haft on the floor. Nonplussed, the irate giant leaned on the still-standing shelves and made his way into the bathroom adjacent to his room. 

Ryan stumbled inside, waving his hand to activate the lights. What greeted him in the mirror lived up to the nickname, Scarecrow. 

The Titan was plastered in blood, some dried, most not, from head to toe. Ryan's bruised and bloody figure looked like something from a Halloween movie in just his underwear and socks. A huge, open wound on Ryan's forehead bled freely into his eyes. 

Uncomfortable looking at himself, Ryan started to clean himself up. Forced to lean down over the normal-height sink, the giant wet a hand towel before he straightened to clean his face. 

Using the mirror to ensure he wouldn't scrape the cut, Ryan slowly dabbed at his face. After a few moments, the Titan's hands lowered, dropping the bloody towel into the metal sink.

Ryan stared into the mirror, watching himself try to make the most of his situation. Inside, Ryan's head began to ache. Blood rushed through him, spreading heat, as it seemed like the walls of his small bathroom started to close in on him.

In the mirror, Ryan felt he could see another silhouette staring back at him. Superimposed over Ryan's emaciated body stood Rydr. 

Ryan tried to blink away the image, but it refused. Rydr stared out from the mirror, his red eyes challenging Ryan.

What are you doing?

Ryan pushed away from the thoughts, but stubbornly they rushed back in.

Why are you like this? Are you really so helpless?

Ryan tore at his hair, blood squeezing wetly between his fingers, and shook his head. 

"Shut up! It's useless! Nothing I do will-"

Are those your words, or his?

The question stunned Ryan. The small bit of pride Ryan held onto was that he was his own person in his head. There he could dream, safe in his thoughts.

You spew his rhetoric. Running around talking about becoming the strongest or the best? Pathetic. You don't control anything about your life. You're just a child, throwing a tantrum.

The words stung, stripping Ryan of the little pride he had left. Maybe because they came from himself. The image of Rydr, the Titan, meant freedom to him, but even that wilder version of himself disdained him.

Ryan hated himself.

Useless! The word echoed through Ryan's mind, filling him with John's endless negativity. Pulled apart between his self-hate, John's programming, and his own desire to change, Ryan screamed and lashed out.

The Titan threw his fist into the mirror as hard as he could, shattering the laughing images of his torturer and Rydr. 

Briefly stunned by the pain in his fist, Ryan watched the glass crack and splinter. A couple of pieces fell to the ground, shattering sharply, but the laughing images remained.

Rydr, Ryan's imagined self, looked down on his weakness. John laughed manically, grinning and pointing at his useless little puppet.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BROTHER!" Ryan screamed and hurled another fist forward. Ryan punched the mirror over and over again, the dull ache in his fist echoing into his back. 

The glass shattered and fell to the floor, the falling pieces cutting Ryan's fists as he screamed and destroyed the mirror, the image of himself.

When Ryan's fist met the bare wall, he finally stopped, his chest still heaving. 

Ryan numbly stared at his bloody hands. Empty inside; the giant looked around at the destruction. A nagging thought wouldn't leave him alone.

I can't do this anymore. Something has to change.

The thought bothered him, crashing around inside his head. An old plan started to surface in Ryan's mind. He had the idea years ago but never had to guts to act on it.

Forcibly reminded of his situation and finally brought to rock-bottom, Ryan had just the right amount of "fuck it" to spur change.

Before the nerve left him, Ryan stumbled back into his room. The giant's clothes still lay beside the ruined gaming capsule, across a sea of fallen bookshelves. Unfortunately, the sea of shelves blocked access to his other clothes too.

Nonplussed, Ryan realized he couldn't get dressed properly. Irritated and in a rush, Ryan crossed gingerly to his desk and grabbed his enormous lab coat from the back of the chair. Ryan threw the garment around his shoulders and fastened the front buttons closed.

He needed some sense of decency if he wanted to go anywhere. 

Ryan tried to ignore the spreading bloodstains on the white cloth as he stumbled to the door and left. Since his shoes were by the gaming capsule, he went out without any.

Ryan opened the door and stumbled into the brightly lit hallway of his housing complex. The Titan blinked away the spots in his vision before he turned down the hallway.

He walked two steps before Ryan fell, his body giving out on him. Ryan's vision darkened around the edges, about to pass out when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Ryan flung his arm out, knocking the hand away and falling further to the floor. A moment later, he registered who stood in front of him.

"Delivery guy?" Ryan grunted out, confused. In front of him was the same orderly who delivered his gaming capsule earlier that night. Instead of the blue and grey uniform, the short, blond kid wore plain grey sweats.

"Ronny, actually. What the hell happened to you, Scarecrow?" Emboldened by Ryan's state, the much smaller man blithely called Ryan by his nickname. 

Ryan blinked, "Ah...this and that, I guess." Ryan had no idea how to answer Ronny. 

My crazy oldest sibling just kicked the shit out of me for playing a game without permission. 

"Was that you? Doing...the screaming?" Ronny quirked an eyebrow at the giant.

Ryan sighed, "Ah, yeah. Sorry about that." He tried to reach up and scratch his head, but the action sent pain shooting through him. 

When Ronny saw him flinch, he asked, "Do you need help? I can get someone to take you to the hospital..."

"No hospital!" Ryan shouted.

Not yet. 

Ryan wanted to tell the smaller man that he would be fine, to leave him alone. When Ryan tried to stand, using the wall as leverage, he stumbled and fell on his side.

"Hey man, just hold on, I'll call-" The younger man summoned the AR screen from his Com-Ring, about to call medics when Ryan shouted again.

"No hospital," Ryan swallowed his pride before he asked, "Could you help me get to the Musculo on Level Four?" 

Ronny's face twisted in confusion, "The fancy gym? What good will that do?"

Ryan chuckled dazedly, "It will. I just need to get there." After Ryan assured the smaller man that he really wanted to go to the expensive gym, deflecting his questions, Ronny made him an offer.

"Tell me the truth, and I'll help you," Ronny announced, crossing his arms, "I can tell when someone is lying to me. If this gets me in trouble with the school..."

"It won't! I..." Ryan cut off his sentence. The younger man stared at him evenly. Something in Ronny reminded Ryan of himself. There was something in Ronny's expression.

A certain amount of "fuck it."

"Technically, I own the company," Ryan admitted.

 

AN:

Thank you so much for reading the new chapter! If you see a typo let me know, and I will fix it ASAP~

[Frontier Online] Discord Server is online! https://discord.gg/5sqwPeJrYf

Special thanks to Qatal, Angronborn99, the void, and several other new Patrons!