Chapter 7 – School Years Part 4

I was waiting backstage for Lara to finish with her VIP Meet & Greet. She had just had her first live concert and was joined by some other teen idols, including Jessica. Speaking of Jessica, I found out she plays and sings Metal mostly, how rad is that? I am probably a bad friend, but I never really listened to her music before other than the songs she sang with Lara. I was really regretting that now. 

I was a huge Rock and Metal fan in my past life. In fact, the reason I don't listen to more music here is that this world has very little of either of them and most of what there is, is not that great. All popular music here is a bit...how shall I say it...Candy Pop-esk. Super sweet, lovable, and all about Pokemon and usually how adorable they are. When I heard Jessica's band take their turn, I was shocked silly. It was Metal, and yes there were some cutesy Pokemon parts, but it was still Metal. Good Metal! Her voice was killer and the band fucking rocked! I was super excited to talk with her about it...then I realized...I can't talk with her about it now without telling her I never listened to her music. Shiiiiiiiit. Good one Finn. 

'Okay, I can still work with this. Just talk about how you liked her live performance and want to hear more! Tell her she had so much energy it sounded completely different from the recordings! Tell her you always really liked her music but felt too shy to ask her about them...' Stupid. She is ridiculously attentive and will spot that shit in a second. And I know she would call me out about it and give me a hard time. That is like, her whole thing. Teasing people.

I sigh deeply and sit back in the comfy leather armchair in the Green Room. I am stretching my neck to the side when I notice something. In the corner of the room is an upright piano covered with a cloth. I haven't played in yeeeeeeeeeears...and by, that I mean when I was like 14 in my old life. I look down at my watch and see I have 15 or so minutes left until the Meet & Greet is over...yes, I wear the watch...I smile and move over to the Piano...why the hell not? 

I pull the cover off and open the lid to try a couple of notes. They resonate well in the quiet room. I look around to make sure the doors are closed and no one is around, then sit down on the bench seat I pull out and strike a couple more notes. I smile and start working through old scales and arpeggios. Muscle memory from my past life is a godsend. I am not sure I could play anything if I had to think through how to play it. I just let my fingers move where they remember needing to be and play. I finish my last scale and stop playing. I look around the room again, no change. No one asking me to stop...let's have some fun!

I try to think of a song I used to know and could sing to. Now that I had a good voice, I really liked singing. Go figure. 

My face then fell into a frown, followed by a sad smile. I know what to play. This was the song my dad, my old dad, always sang at Karaoke. It was from an old 90's movie called "Still Crazy." The song was "The Flame Still Burns." Dad always wanted to be a singer, so the song meant a lot to him.

I start slowly, the piano part coming to me instantly, like an old friend. I close my eyes and get lost in the music before I sing,

"I live a life that's surreal
Where all that I feel I am learning"

I sing through the song as I feel tears forming at the corners of my closed eyes. I can see Dad now, up on the stage, half-drunk, singing his lungs out. All of the patrons of the bar would always stop whatever they were doing and listen. Free karaoke and $5 shrimp bowls on Tuesday nights and Dan's Sports Bar. I sing through the sadness of him being gone. I sing through the pain of missing him and all my family and friends. I sing through the bitter sting of anger at myself for how I pushed them all away. I sing through the worries and hopes they are alright.

The words and phrases come to me easily and I improvise on the guitar solo parts, playing the baseline with my left hand and the guitar melody on my right, spicing it up with chords. I could have never done this before, I didn't have the confidence, but what does that matter now? Who do I have to hold back for now? No one here has ever even heard this song before...I surrender myself completely to the music. 

I arrive at the High Part. This is the part that even Dad had a hard time on. I was never a singer. Could barely hold a tune, not to mention all the voice cracks. I don't care. What was it Dad always said? "If you can't hit the note, squeeze your ass, balls, and abs until you can!"  I smile and commit to doing it all the way. Even though I know it is gonna suck, even though I know that my voice will crack hilariously...When it does, Dad and I always laugh those failures off and try again next time. I miss you, Dad...

I belt it, full voice, not holding down the sound at all. I roar to reach someone impossible to reach. I smiled wide and "embrace the suck!" Another of Dad's favorite sayings.

Only...it doesn't suck. It sounds fantastic. The High C that I couldn't even dream of ever hitting, despite Dad believing in me...despite Dad...Dad?

I...I am not Max Frazier...I am Finn. Fucking. Cambridge. We are not the same. His Dad is not my Dad. That is not me. He could never hit this note, but I can. 

* | * | *

I appear in a white space with nothing but a tall mirror framed in white wood in front of me. A figure wreathed in white and gold light stares down on me from above...no...on us. We are here...somehow...we are not the same person anymore... 

'I'm letting go now, buddy. You had your life and wasted it, but because of you, I can live mine better. Thank you, but I have to move on. We both do. You are not meant to be here and there are people who miss you over there. Time for you to go back. I will not forget you and your Dad will live on in this song forever, I promise you that.'

'But...Wasn't this supposed to be my second chance? Wasn't this what I always dreamed of?...No...' I, Max Fraiser, see myself for the first time in the mirror in front of us. An apparition grafted onto the back of Finn's soul. I don't belong here. I am not Finn Cambridge. 

The figure doesn't say a word, but I feel as if it is smiling at me. It reaches out a hand, a formless one showing no gender and bathed in the same light. A hand my apparition can just reach.

'You are right. I can feel it. I am hurting you, aren't I? Latched on like a parasite, sucking the life from you...Okay... But you have to promise me to always remember my failings. Be good to your family and loved ones, Finn. You are the best version of me. The "me" I could never be but always dreamed of being in my old life...I...I hope that you find the happiness I never could. The life I wish I had lived. Don't waste a second of this amazing world. Your world.'

'You got it, dude!' I, Finn Cambridge, say with a Full House approved thumbs up. 

We, Max and Finn, laugh together for a moment, before he finally reaches out for the offered hand.

'This is gonna hurt, isn't it.'

'Probably.'

'I doubt ripping souls apart is good for one's health.'

'I somehow doubt it.'

'Fuck. No more stalling. Later Finn, take care of yourself.'

'Bye Max, you will always be a part of me. I appreciate you and all you have done for me.'

Like that, Max's hand reached the figure and with a sudden and violent force, he was ripped free from Finn. He screamed in agony, but Finn just felt relief. As if a heavyweight was finally removed from his chest and he could breathe fully again. 

* | * | *

The next instant, it was over. I was sitting at the bench, the last note of the song ringing out, tears still in my eyes. I was me. Fully me. Max was gone, but not forgotten. His memories and experiences remained. He would be my guide and my moral compass, keeping me on the right track, always. He could now rest with the family and friends he missed in the world that he belonged to.

"Holy Fuck. That was Hot." Jessica says from behind me.

---

"Mew!"

"Hmm? What is it, Watcher?" A deep and yet high, dark and yet bright, loud and yet soft voice says. The creature is looking down into the same blank pool as before, viewing hundreds of worlds, thousands of realities, and at the same time, only its own reflection.

"Mew..mew mew...Mew!"

"...Soul is leaving? ...How can he remove part of his soul? ..Are you sure the original remains and the other didn't take over?"

"Mew...Mew Mew Mew."

"Spacial interference? ...I don't understand...I will need to think on this. Continue to observe, Watcher."

"Mew."

---

Applause greets me immediately upon my return. 

I spin around so fast that I fall off the piano's bench seat in my haste to see those who are clapping. From the floor, I see a smirking Jessica, a beaming Lara, and a gaggle of other girls around them. Most of those are younger, but I see some older women, who I assume are their mothers, in the back as well. 

"How...how long..." I stammer.

"Midway through the first verse, I assume. Unless there were 3 verses, then it would be the 2nd. Before the first solo." Lara says moving towards me to offer me a hand up. "And I have to agree with Jessica...That was hot." She says giving me The Look. Now, if you have been in a long term relationship, then you know that there can be a couple of different "Looks" from your partner that convey much more meaning than they may appear to. A common one is the, "Cut your bullshit out." look, or the, "We'll talk about this later." look, or even the "I need help. Now!" look. But everyone who has been in a physical relationship knows The Look. With capital letters. The one that screams, "I'm horny, do something about it." Lara had just developed this look over the last year, and the one she is giving me now appears rather urgent, lip biting and all. 

Luckily, we are not alone right now and so she doesn't just maul me like she usually does.

"I am gonna get so many followers from this..." a girl from the group of VIP members says looking at her phone with a giant smile.

My eyes widen in horror, "You didn't record and post that...did you?" 

"Yup! I only had about 100 PokeGram followers before, but it is already close to 1000 now! The elusive and mysterious boyfriend of Lara...the one she talks about all the time and claims has the voice of an angel...I got him singing!!! And," She says turning to Lara, "You were SO right. He NEEDS to record an album. With you preferably. And Jessica." She finishes and all the women, including Jessica, nod like it is a foregone conclusion. 

"Oh my god, right!?!" Lara squeals and hangs herself off me as I am blushing nearly as hard as I did a couple of months back at my birthday party. 

"Got you now." Lara whispers in my ear, "I knew if I was patient you would slip up and show off that magnificent voice. You can't hide it now, babe!" She finishes with a victorious smile. 

"I...wait...I am not a singer..." I stammer, trying to gain control of the situation.

"We can fix that." One of the older women in the back says. She wears a business suit and is smiling like the cat that caught the mouse. She looks away from her phone with a nod and to me. "This video is already trending. If we work quickly, we can use the hype to put out a couple of singles before an album. This will sell, and sell even better if you work with Lara and Jessica. I am their manager, by the way, Rhonda Rennings." She walks forward and holds her hand out while I stare at her like a deer in stares at oncoming traffic. 

"Come on~, Finn!" Jessica says and moves up to Lara and me, "You wanted to get a part-time job to earn some more money for your start of the Jr. League, right? This is the perfect opportunity! Not only will you make a ton, but you will also help boost the career of your girlfriend and me. I already have a couple of songs I have been sitting on that I think would sound awesome with you and me. Man up!" She finishes by slapping my shoulder and grinning. 

I stare at the group, all the VIP members have stars in their eyes waiting for my decision. Jessica has a giant smile while Rhonda continues to hold her hand out with a raised eyebrow. Lara looks at me with confidence, pride, and love. 

'Man up, huh?' I think while remembering Max saying that quite a few times. He wasn't here anymore. He never would have done this due to his past misgivings...I am not him though...Oh, what the hell. I like singing. He didn't like singing publicly, but I do. We are not the same. He told me to live the life he only could dream of, so what's holding me back?'

Taking a deep breath, steadying myself, and say with confidence. "Sure, why not?"

* | * | *

6 months later I am sitting with Lara in my room listening to the album. It was a 30 song mega album called, "Once." The meaning was clear, this was not my career. I was going to be a Pokemon Trainer, not a singer. The album was composed of 22 songs from Max's memories and 8 originals. It featured several other popular singers, Rhonda insisted this would make it one of the best selling albums ever, but was mainly focused on me, Lara, and Jessica. 

Do I feel bad for using someone else's songs and lyrics and claiming they were my own? Yes. yes, I do. But at the same time, these were songs Max loved and I feel that bringing them to this world is more of a tribute to their timelessness than anything else. The fact that they can be great songs here as well is a testament to how well they were written. I am giving life to amazing songs that, otherwise, would have never been heard in this world. I choose to view it this way so that I can sleep at night. 

Lara's favorites are "Let It Be", "Living on a Prayer", "Shut Up and Dance With Me", "Welcome to the Black Parade", and "Kanto Girl" (American Girl). I made sure to alter the lyrics to be about this world and Pokemon where they clashed with things from Max's world. It made me cringe a bit, but I had to do it or they wouldn't make sense.

Along with these songs, I had "Written" two bonus tracks for Lara and Jessica as well as one for them to do together. Lara got "Lucky", Jessica got "Enter Snorlax" (*Shudder* Enter Sandman), and I put together a working version of "Take Me Or Leave Me" for them both to sing. It was now their anthem and that of the lesbian community. So there was that.

I also released three songs as singles prior to the album. The first being "Catch 'em All" with Lara who was BEYOND thrilled to re-record it, as she said, "How it was meant to be." The second was "The Flame Still Burns," the song that started it all. I promised Max his Dad would live on forever in this world, and I think I followed through. It was a favorite song for older trainers and I had received international fame for it.

The last was the first of my original songs. It was a slow piano tune called "The Ballad Of Max" and was about an experienced World Trainer named Max who was on a long journey away from his family. The song had Max reminiscing about old times, lost love, and the distance between him and them all. This one was also insanely popular and a real tear-jerker. Yup. I immortalized Max too. To me, he was more than just someone who was tagging along or a parasite leeching off my soul. He was my friend, my teacher, my brother...he was what made me who I was. I would never forget him, and now the world would forever know him as well. 

We were listening to this song in my room. Lara was holding me close while wiping tears I was not aware I was letting fall.  

"You miss him, huh?" 

"What? Lara...it is just a song..."

"The other you."

I froze. Slowly, I moved my wide terrified eyes to Lara's kind smiling ones. She held me close and spoke words that hit me to my core.

"It's alright, babe. I am not angry. You are not great at hiding things, you know. I can always tell when you are fibbing or avoiding explaining how you know things. At first, we all thought you might have Multiple Personality Disorder or were maybe Bipolar. It didn't matter. Your family, friends, me, we all loved you either way. But...It was impossible not to notice, really. One moment you would be in complete child-like happiness and the next you were cold, sad, and detached. You looked like you felt guilty about something and would sink into your own mind." We are on my bed and she runs her hand through my hair as I lay my head on her lap staring up at her with shock and building unease.

"It wasn't until I heard this song that I understood. You stopped acting that way about 6 months ago. You are more confident, passionate, and live in the moment more. It started right after we caught you singing. The others didn't notice the tears, but I did. I was worried about you, but you seemed totally fine, so I went along with it. No one writes 33 amazing songs in 6 months, Finn. The types and differences in style were a dead giveaway. To others, you are a musical genius and I had to agree...until I heard Max's Ballad. The song is amazing in its own right, don't get me wrong. but it was different. So different, in fact, that it didn't seem to fit. The way you sang and the feelings behind the words were more powerful than any of the others. That is when I started wondering why it was so personal to you. This Max person, you sang like you knew him well. Like he was you. The pieces all fell into place."

She lifts my head and makes me sit facing her, giving me a hard look. "You are my Finn, right?"

"Yes...I was always your Finn...but Max is gone now..." I say, my mouth feeling dry like sandpaper.

"Good. I forgive you for not telling me." She says simply and leans in to kiss me lightly.

Years of worry, regret, unease, and personal torment wash away and I break down into a sobbing mess. She accepted me. The truth I was scared to tell her.  How do you tell people something like that? Of course, they noticed. Of course, I didn't get away with it. They are those closest to me, how could they not notice? It was stupid to try and hide it, but how do you explain this to someone? I had nightmares of Lara never wanting to see or talk to me again...but she accepted me. Just like that...What an amazing woman.

"I love you." I sob brokenly, "Lara, you are my rock. I love you so much."

"It's alright, let it all out, dummy. I love you too and would still have whenever you told me...Will you tell me about him? About Max?"

So I did. I told her everything. From start to finish. She took it extraordinarily well. Curious, not appaled at my telling of this world being a merger of a series of games, anime, manga...and possibly other stuff...from Max's world. She asked clarifying questions here and there, but mostly just let me talk. She even laughed when I informed her the "Catch 'em All" song was the opening song to this world's anime starring her Dad. When I finished, it was dark outside. Looking at the digital clock near my bed I realized we had been talking long into the night. She would be in trouble for staying out this long, but she did anyway. For me. God, what did I do to deserve her? 

After a long period of silence, she tilts her head quizically and wonders allowed, "If we are a part of a real universe that was only a game and story in Max's world...what was his world's story? Is it the original or are they simply characters in another universe's story?"

That was a crazy bottle of nope I didn't want to open, so I just hugged her close to me on the bed. "Thank you...for believing me and believing in me."

She chuckles and says, "I have invested way too much time and energy into you for this to break us. Nothing has changed, really, I just now have a broader scope of things."

We kissed softly for a while longer before finally falling asleep in each other's arms. This was the first night we slept together. No sex, just cuddling and holding one another. Her being the pillar of support she always was to me. There would be hell to pay tomorrow, but I felt ready to face Ash in the morning. He, after all, was nowhere near as scary as what I had just gone through. With my wonderful girlfriend at my side, I felt ready to take on the world. 

* | * | *

Kindred Hospital St. Louis, St. Louis Missouri

The hospital was abuzz. A patient that had been in a coma for 15 years had just woken up. The patient's Dad rushes through the hospital doors and runs through the halls to his son's room. He skids to a halt outside and takes a deep shaking breath before opening the door. It opens revealing the 32-year-old, emaciated form of Max Frasier alive, awake, and sitting up with tears pouring from his eyes. The father throws himself at his son, ignoring his bad leg and cane, hugging his son tightly as happy tears spill down his face.

"Dad?"

"Welcome back, son."