Chapter ^*($& – System Error
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Chapter ^*($& - System Error

ONE

David leans forward again and takes on a much more serious air. "Now. It is time for us to discuss the three greatest threats to the league, your mission, and our very way of life. Finn, Lara, our world is on the verge of war."

"Is...is it who I think it is?" Lara says with absolute horror in her voice.

"I am afraid so, Lara," Blaine says with a sigh.

"Wait...No way...T-Them!?!" I stand and yell. This wasn't happening. No way. I refused to believe it.

"There is no use denying reality, Finn. We must accept it..."

"Hanson!" We all curse at once.

"They have attached their microphones to the omega weapon."

"Wha...How did they find it?" Lara demands, cold sweat running down her back.

"Apparently, it was conveniently buried in their backyard all along. They found it by complete accident, but now that they have it...once they hit the 42nd "Mmmbop" with their prepubescent high notes...The legendary Pokemon Mr. T will rise and...war will be upon us. I don't want to make any estimates, but...well...I pity the fools that get in the way of Mr. T."

"Wait...Aren't the Hanson brothers like 30 now?" I ask in confusion. 

"No. I am afraid they possess the power to de-age to sing their hit song. Their audience of 30-something-year-old women also become teens again and dress in the style of the early 2000s. It is a strange and horrendous phenomenon, but we hardly have time to investigate it now."

"I dunno guys," I continue with speculation in my voice, "They are really not all that bad. I actually kind of like the song Penny & Me. The guy wrote it for his daughter. It is kinda sweet actually..." I trail off when I see their dark looks. 

"FINN!" Arceus yells from above. I stare up in horror as my body starts to disintegrate. "YOU. FUCKED. WITH. ARCEUS!!!"

"NOOOOOOoooooooo...." I disappear into nothingness. 

...

"Looks like I am the protagonist now!" Blaine yells as he hops over the desk and grabs Lara's hands. "Lara my love, I have one question for you."

"What is it darling David Blaine?" Lara asks with stars in her eyes.

"Do you like magic?"


TWO

I was having the nicest dream...I was standing tall as the world's strongest Pokemon and people clapped and showed their respect for me. For the first time in forever I was not being assaulted by women and I was a proud Dragonite! Then...

"Thorn-Kun~~ Wake up or I am going to kiss you~~~" 

I bolt out of bed as my childhood friend, Celeste, tries her best to land a wet one on me. She only succeeds in getting a mouthful of my pillow, however, and turns to pout at me.

"Jeez...you didn't have to dodge so fast..." She says quietly.

"Thorn? hurry up and get some breakfast sweetie! You don't want to be late for your first day. Celeste-chan, are you joining us for breakfast?" My mom, Lara, asks from downstairs. 

"Yes, Mrs. Cambridge!" Celeste yells back and starts heading out of my room. "Hurry up and get ready! It's not everyday we make our high school debut!" 

"Fine, Fine," I say while yawning and taking off my shirt.

"Kya! P-Pervert!" She yells with a red face and slams my door close. 

Whoops.


I head downstairs and greet my family and ignore the glaring, red-faced Celeste as she eats the egg sandwich my mom made. 

"Hey sport, you ready for your first day?" My dad, Finn, asks. He is a huge hulking, bear of a man, but has a sweet spot for one thing...my mom...it is actually kinda gross. 

"He will do fine, honey," Mom says confidently as she puts a plate in front of me and kisses the top of my head. 

"I know, if he is anything like us, he will be the best in the school!" Dad states, wrapping his arms around mom.

"I don't know, Papa was pretty good back then," Mom says as she shifts into her cutesy talk with him.

"Not as good as Momma," Dad says, taking on the same baby-talk voice.

"You were the best!" "No, you were!" 

""No, We Were!"" They both say and start laughing.

Dad smacks Mom's butt when he thinks we aren't looking and she gives him a look that tells me I need to sleep at a friend's house tonight...

 "Urg. Give it a rest you two. It's gross and we have company over." My sister, Pyra says from the couch where she eats with Celeste's sister Grace. Grace is rolling her eyes, sick of all their lovey-dovey talk just as much as Pyra. They are seniors this year and semi-delinquents. Pyra-neesan is always getting into fights at school...and winning. My parents are both proud and upset by this.


After eating I join Celeste by the door. She is all bubbly and excited and I am my usual stoic self. 

"Are you excited Thorn-kun?" Celeste asks for the 4th time today.

"Yes, Yes. I am very excited." I say with a sigh and she beams.

I am putting my shoes when Pyra and Grace make their way out. "I'll be home late Mom!" Pyra calls "Gonna hit up the arcade after school with Grace and Angie."

"Okay, but no fighting this time!" Mom calls from the living room.

"Okay!" She calls back.

"We'll see," Pyra says under her breath, and Grace snickers. "If that Charmeleon douche tries to grab my ass again, I am gonna break his fucking nose."

"If you know he is going to be there, then why go, neesan?" I ask the sensible question.

"I never back down from a challenge, Thorn, and neither should you." She says punching her claw into her other one and giving a toothy grin. "Now go walk your girlfriend to school. Good luck on your first day. If anyone bullies you, just tell them my name and they'll back off."

After that and an embarrassing squeak of "I'm not his girlfriend...yet..." from Celeste, they head out.


We walk towards our new school and Celeste is busy talking my ear off again. I pay attention, I am a good friend like that, but I am getting nervous. I hope things go alright...I really don't want girls to mob me again like on the first day of middle school. I don't mind, but I think Celeste nearly had an aneurysm...

We come to an intersection and just as I walk past the wall, a pink Sylveon with toast in her mouth and wearing our school pin slams into me knocking us both over.

I get up quickly and offer my tail to her, "Are you alright, miss? I didn't see you there." I ask and she stares up at me and blushes furiously.

"It worked..." I hear her mutter and red flags start popping up in my mind. But it must be a mistake as next...

"Y-Yes! I am fine! Watch where you are going next time, Baka!" She yells at me and gets back up running away. I see that her cheeks are tinged red even from here. I smirk after her, amused by the situation, but sense and Oni behind me and here Celeste cracking her small knuckles. 

*Gulp*


We arrive at school with no further issues and I see my three friends Jeffery, Paul, and Leo waiting by the gate. Celeste and I approach and I call out.

"Yo! Have you figured out what class you are in?"

"Not yet," Jeffery says with his stoney voice. "We were waiting on you. Good morning Celeste." He offers her a nod as she gives a cheerful wave and another round of, "Aren't you excited!?!"

"Hey man, you heard about the Student Council Pres?" Leo asks me quietly while Celeste, Paul, and Jeffery talk. He has a jagged scar across his eye that looks badass, but he is a closet pervert. "A real looker, man...well I'll let you see for yourself. Here she comes."

I look over and see a tall firey Pokemon with a huge entourage following her...wow she is really pretty. I feel a small pink hand on my scales and that tells me I looked for too long. 

"Whatcha looking at?" An all-too-cheery Celeste asks.

"N-nothing. Let's go check what class we are in." I say, choosing a tactical retreat. 

We all head over to the big board that shows the class and, by some miracle, we are all in the same class. Celeste does a couple of circles and spins in the air in a happy dance at the news.


We head into the class and as I step in the door I am immediately tackled to the ground. 

"Thorn-kuuuuun~! Clefable-chan cries as she bulls me over and hugs me tightly." I know better than to fight it. This happened all throughout middle school. Next comes-

I am surrounded by purple Psychic energy as Celeste forcefully separates us like always. "Do keep your hands of my childhood friend, won't you Cefable-chan? You might crush him with your weight..." Oh wow. Critical hit right off the bat.

"Oh-ho-ho! That's funny, I could have sworn he was my friend as well. He barely looks at you, maybe you should learn your place, Celeste-chan?" Damn, that was a bit mean. I do look at her... I am just more interested in getting stronger than romance...

Electricity sparks between their gazes and I sigh as I make my way to my assigned desk by the window. 

"Y-You!" The Sylveon from earlier seems to be my deskmate. 

"I knew it! It was fate!" She mumbles loud enough for me to hear. I sigh again, but try to be nice. 

"Hello, I'm Thorn, nice to meet you. What's your name?" I offer with a smile. Her face goes red and she twists her head to the side.

"Hmph. Wouldn't you like to know?" I guess I messed up. Girls are so weird.

Just then, the door opens and none other than the student council president walks in and, what do you know, she walks right up to me. This earns me quite a few glances and whispers...as well as some death glares from two girls who managed to end up right next to each other. 

"Are you Thorn Cambridge?" She asks in an imperious tone.

"Yes?" I answer in a question, not really sure what's going on.

"Hmm. Pretty decent. I am the student council president. Your sister is a trouble maker and causes me no end of difficuties. I am making you student council secretary to make sure you do not follow a similar path. Feel honored." She finishes.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeh!?!"

"Lucky bastard. Why is it always you?" I hear Leo complain from two seats behind me.

I sigh for the umpteenth time today.

Looks like this year is going to be just as much of a nightmare as the last...


Three

Max stands backstage with a numbered plaque on his shirt. "Are you sure I am good enough?" He asks his wife who has come to support him.

"Yes! Your gonna do great! The singing classes have totally paid off," Grace says. 

"God, I love you." He says and hugs her close.

"I love you too silly, now get ready. Let's practice your greeting one more time."

They get midway through his practiced greeting when Terry Cruise comes up to him. "You ready to go, man?"

"Y-yea. I am ready" He says with a stutter of nervousness.

"Okay, you're up! Good luck!" He offers with his usual energy.

Max gives a quick kiss to Grace and smiles back at her faking confidence. She smiles back and gives him thumbs up.

Max heads up on stage and soon is introduced to the huge crowd. They explode into applause when he enters the stage like they were instructed to do from the monitors. He moves to the X where he is supposed to stand and looks out at the judges.

"Hello! Welcome to America's Got Talent! What's your name?" Simon asks.

"Max Fraiser," Max says biting back nervousness and bile.

"Okay, Max, what are you going to do for us tonight?"

"I'm gonna sing a song that means the world to me."

"Why does it mean so much to you?" Howie asks with a curious expression.

"This is the song my dad used to sing at Karaoke a long time ago. It was his favorite song and meant a lot to him as well. He always wanted to be a singer, but he never had the chance."

"Is your dad in the audience tonight?" Heidi asks and Max's head falls.

"No...unfortunately he lost his battle with cancer last year. I am here to sing and hopefully reach him where he is now."

There was a collective "Awwww" from the audience and the judges all nod their heads.

"Are you singing with a backing track?" Simon asks with a bit of disdain.

"Yes, I know you are not a fan of that, but it is my dad playing the piano...so I hope you will let it pass," Max says with a bit of sad hope in his voice.

"I can make an exception for that," Simon says and the audience cheers.

"What is the name of the song?" Howie asks.

"The Flame Still Burns from the movie Still Crazy," Max says with a wider smile.

"Great movie," Simon says, "Well, we wish you luck."

"Thanks!" Max says with a bit of a giddy laugh.

The lights dim and the audience quiets as Max starts the song. He has improved a lot over the years and with a lot of practice. Not as good as Finn was, but still pretty decent. He had his own unique style. The song continues and he gets to the high part. He sings through it perfectly and the audience goes nuts. 

"That was..." Simon starts at the end of the song, but the lights dim again and he spins around. "Sorry, looks like we have some technical difficulties."

Just then, the ceiling shakes and rips open as a giant, white creature flys down and onto the stage.

"A-Arceus?" Max asks in astonishment.

"No Max, I am his twin brother Arseus. We need your help again, will you come with me?"

Grace rushes on stage and up to him.

"Can I bring my wife? We are expecting?" Max asks.

"That's fine...but this time we are not going to Arceus. We are going to...The Twilight Zone." The Pokemon says.

"But Arseus...we are already in the Twilight Zone!" Max says with a giant, creepy smile and he unzips his face revealing that of a green alien.

Just then a giant silver dragon comes in and the world trembles at its power.

"Don't mind me. Just escaping some crazy-ass women. Please continue." The dragon says in perfect English.

A fat guy with a blue screen hovering in front of him walks out on stage and looks around. "Are you sure this is the way, Guru?"

Next, a portal opens and a tall man in his late teens and an 11-year-old kid walkout. They have madness in their eyes.

"Uh-oh...It is the hiatus squad..." Alien Max says.

"You damn traitor! We have a ton of stories left to tell!" Nick yells. "The people want more of me! Write more already!"

Jordan mirrors that, "Yea, what the hell man! You set up such an awesome magical world and then you just ditch us? Not cool bro."

I, Overload, stare at my beautiful creations as they glare hatefully at me. "It's not my fault! I will write more when I have time! I have to follow my passion!"

I scream as they break the 4th wall and start launching attacks.


I wake with a shout. "Jesus...what the hell was that?"

"Shh...It's alright honey. It was only a dream."

"Thanks, babe, I say with a smile. I don't know what I would do without you, Arseus."

"Wait..."

...

...

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let us never talk about any of this again.

Moving on. Nothing to see here...oh and Happy April Fools Day...I guess...

...I need a drink.

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