“Uh… Look man, it’s not like that!” I backpedaled. “I-I was just trying to say that you can’t always expect people to do what you want, right? Humanity doesn’t unleash its true potential until humans get pushed over the edge beyond the point of no return, like… sending an army across the sea and burning the boats behind you so there’s no retreat!”

I had lost all hope that I could get an accurate read on what the hell went on inside the Demon King’s head. God only knew how his impossibly extended lifespan had taken a toll on his sanity. That was why he somehow looked even more terrifying than before when he shifted his stare from me to the back wall, deeply lost in thought, his conviction burning brighter than ever.

“It’s brilliant,” he muttered before raising his voice. “Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that? We haven’t had a proper invasion in ages!”

“Hold up, did you just say ‘invasion?’ That’s not what I—”

“Fear not, lass!” he bellowed, all at once shooting upright and turning to address everyone around him. “Tomorrow, I have many long preparations to make. But tonight, we shall all drink and be merry! Free rounds for everyone!”

Louder than ever, a deafening cacophony of wild cheering boomed throughout the tavern.

It was official now: the whole damn world had lost it.

***

After the Demon King excused himself and a new round of tankards were distributed by the succubus barmaids, the entire tavern devolved into drunken throngs of shamelessly singing men. By the time I had gotten my hands on my second free drink of the night, I desperately needed it.

Once I had made short work of the drink, I leaned closer to Zack and pointed toward where Mao departed. “So… is this bad?”

He laughed, tipsy on his own beer. “Eh, something like this happens every once in a while. The big guy seemed a little more fired up than usual though…”

Not good, not good… “But the nobility will stop him, right?” I hurriedly asked. “Or… the Church?”

“Well, their hands are kinda tied, so to speak. It’s complicated.” Zack shrugged with a drunken grin. “Trust me, you should just sit back and enjoy the show!”

With him saying that, I might need a third drink!

When Zack had finally downed his tankard, he gently patted me on the shoulder. “Let me tell you something, you did better here than I ever imagined,” he said. “You really know how to liven up a joint, Beryl. So I’ll let you in on a little insider tip: as you might have guessed, the barmaids here don’t just serve beer. For the right coin, they’ll do damn near anything.” He showed me a few gold coins he pulled from a pocket.

“You were loaded all this time, and you got stingy with me over a damn silver?” I groaned.

“Hey, it’s only a few times a year that I can save up enough for a single night with a working girl here,” he continued. “I’ll give you a once in a lifetime offer as a birthday present. I was about to hit up my favorite gal, but I’ll let you join me for free. I hear she’s pretty popular with the ladies, too!”

“Wow, that’s surprisingly nice of you. You’re inviting me to… wait, a threesome? With you?! How many beers did you have, you damn sleaze!”

“Suit yourself,” he laughed. And with that, he stood up and rapped his knuckles on the table. “Later, Beryl.”

He headed off in the direction of a curvaceous succubus with long, black hair. After a brief exchange of pleasantries and coin, she linked arms with him and pressed a breast into his side as they headed upstairs. Once a sleaze, always a sleaze…

Did he just ditch me, or did I just miss out on an opportunity? No, hell no, I hardly even knew the guy! I started scanning the room for something to distract my wandering mind. More generalized debauchery, more barmaids, more… wait, what was that?

One of the barmaids looked much different from the others. She had two furry ears poking out of the amber hair atop of her head, and behind her billowed out one, two… three fluffy tails? It couldn’t be—a fox spirit! Suddenly I wished Zack were still here…!

The familiar shape of the tall, busty succubus with the whiplike tail blocked my view as she stopped in front of me. She playfully twirled her flowing ruby hair while sizing me up.

“You’re Minerva, right?” I asked uneasily, going off of what Mao had said much earlier.

She nodded with an amused smile. “My, my. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen the master get that excited. I think you’ve earned yourself a free room for the night.” I couldn’t help stealing a glance at the fox spirit as she stepped back into sight. “Or perhaps you’re looking for…” Minerva twitched her butt in my direction, making the tip of her forked tail rub against my thigh. “Something more?”

I found myself pressing my legs together. As tempting as her offer might have been, I definitely did not trust her to keep that tail out of places it didn’t belong!

“Yeah, no. I’ll just take the free room, thanks!”

***

I collapsed onto the bed in my private room upstairs, drunk and exhausted. The climb up several flights of stairs had been taxing enough, and now I had no one to distract myself from having to process the whole day’s experiences. Was I regretting not having accepted one of their ‘offers’ downstairs…?

No, I had my sights set on a much bigger goal, and I did not come here to have sex like this! At least, I could last more than one day in this world before getting peer pressured into some kinky shit!

Besides, I now had plenty of alone time with my new body, and I didn’t need a succubus to help me explore it! All I needed to do was just undress…

Undress? Damn! After everything I had gotten caught up in, I had nearly forgotten about the dress I was wearing. Even if I could manage to untie the corset in the back, retying it back up by myself was a whole other matter. And if I failed, that meant I would be stuck in my crappy starter gear all over again.

I let out a heavy sigh. I really wanted to fall asleep right then and there, but I couldn’t help thinking about the inevitable task waiting for me. Lacking any other leads, tomorrow I would almost certainly find myself at the one and only newbie guild I knew about.

And that meant I would risk running into her again.

How did it come to this—I had to recruit my own party of adventurers in this world of weirdos and perverts?

“Happy birthday, me.”

End of Arc One: The Weirdest Birthday

Malonymous

Thanks for reading! Now that most of the early story has been set up, some slightly spicier GL stuff might be coming up in the near-ish future~