"You're making a mistake," I pleaded with the tiny, winged woman in front of me. "Really, I'm not the guy you want for this!"

<Nonsense!> the fairy huffed, crossing her arms. <My employers are never wrong! The system went searching for a high-ranking cultivator to replace the missing sect leader in this world and you were chosen! I know it's hard and potentially, well, very likely you could die from a mistake, but I'm sure you'll be fine!>

I paled at her words. I hadn't known I could die when I touched the screen! "Miss," I tried again, but she raised a tiny hand, cutting me off.

<Look,> she said, <I know you're scared of this sudden responsibility but trust me! With the guidance of the Sect Leader System, you'll become a proper Sect Leader in no time!>

"But I don't even know what a Sect Leader is!"

The fairy giggled at me. <Feigning ignorance will get you nowhere, human! Now, come on, we've got work to do!>

"Wa-"

She snapped her fingers and teleported us both into a small forest.

I stumbled away from the fairy, my stomach groaning from the sudden transition. I made it three steps before my queasiness took full effect. Pain gripped my throat and gut as I puked up the English muffin I'd eaten for breakfast an hour earlier. The fairy watched with both disgust and fascination as I spewed my guts out on top of a poor berry bush.

I felt...somewhat better after I finished, wiping my mouth on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Still a little light-headed, I retreated from the mess I'd made over the bush and leaned against a towering oak tree. "That," I breathed, "was awful."

The fairy floated sideways over to me, her little button nose wrinkling at the smell. <It looked icky,> she said. <What kind of cultivator throws up just from a little transdimensional travel?>

Sighing, I pushed off of the tree. "One who isn't actually a cultivator..."

<Silly you! No more excuses; it's time to get started!>

"I really think you've got the wrong guy, though," I put in before she could start blabbering away again. "I'm telling the truth about not knowing anything about cultivation."

<Nonsense.> She really stressed the word there. The muted glare she gave me really put the whole say-that-again-and-I'll-smite-you attitude together. Too bad she was the size of my hand; she would've actually looked threatening, otherwise. <You were chosen and that's that!>

"This world is not shaping up to what I thought it'd be," I sighed. "Can I just...go home after this is done? Is that fine?"

<...We'll talk about that when we get there,> she mumbled. Well, that didn't sound good. Before I could press her, she perked up and spoke over me. <Anyway! This place is going to be where your sect is located! Take a good look at it, because it's where you'll be spending the rest of your life!>

We'll see about that, I thought, eyeing the trees around me.

It was a pretty forest, though. The thick oak trees bore wide, green leaves that dripped with tiny rain droplets. From the humid air and the damp grass, I gathered it must've rained before we teleported here. The far-off call of birds and the chittering of unseen insects were...peaceful. I could see myself coming out for a visit here back home; I could see mountains shrouded in mist in the distance, so hiking and mountain-climbing probably would've been on my to-do list. Too bad I was forced into coming here. That put quite a damper on enjoying the serene environment.

<It's 24 acres of a forested valley surrounded on both sides by mountains! Plenty of territories to claim! Let's come up with a name, shall we?>

<It's a text box, silly!> The fairy answered, her cheerful words not matching the suspicious look in her eyes. <Part of the Sect Leader System! Now, just tap on the line and say the name you want to call your sect. Hurry! We've got a lot of work to do!>

I glanced at her, wary of another sinister ploy to get me to do something I didn't want. She crossed her arms and huffed.

<What are you waiting for?> she snapped.

"I don't trust you. The last time I touched one of these things, I ended up here."

The fairy rolled her eyes. <You're already in the right place,> she said. <There's no need to send you elsewhere!>

"Except home..."

<Just touch it!> she shrieked, bursting into dark blue flames.

"Okay, okay!" I shouted. Jabbing my finger at the screen, I backed up from the flaming hot fairy so I didn't get burned by her meandering flames. "Uh, uh, I'll call it the Mountain Forest Valley Sect!"

⌈Congratulations! You have created the level 0 'Mountain Forest Valley Sect'!⌋

"Look!" I said, pointing at the screen. "See? Can you stop being on fire now?"

She stopped being on fire - that's not proper - she cut off her flames and returned to some semblance of...normal. At least, she didn't have that murderous aura around her anymore.

<Thank you,> she said, a growl accenting her high-pitched voice. <Now, say 'Sect Management' and you should get another screen showing you the information about your new sect.>

I followed her instructions immediately, wanting to stay on her good side. If I had known she could burst into flames when she got mad, I wouldn't have antagonized her so much. Who knew magical fairies could be so scary?

⌈Sect Name: Mountain Forest Valley Sect

Sect Leader: Austin Wu (Mortal)

Level: 0

Territory: 0

Sect Elders: 0

Disciples: 0

Cultivation Methods: 0⌋

<Wait,> the fairy said, peering at the screen. <That's...not right. What kind of cultivator is named Austin?

"Hey! What's wrong with my name?"

<The name is the least of your problems...Um, say 'Cultivator Information'.>

I obeyed reluctantly and another screen appeared in front of me.

⌈Name: Austin Wu

Dao: None

Cultivation Stage: Mortal

Cultivation Method: N/A

Sect: Mountain Forest Valley Sect (Sect Leader)

Soul Weapon: N/A

Skills: N/A⌋

<Oh, no,> she whispered, hands slowly raising to cover her mouth. <Oh, no, no, no...>

"What?" I demanded. "What's wrong?"

She looked at me, horrified. <You really aren't a cultivator?>

I threw up my hands, narrowly avoiding smacking her far into the forest. "That's what I've been saying this entire time!"

<I thought you were just strong enough to hide your aura! That's why I couldn't sense any qi radiating off of you; you don't have any in your body!>

Scoffing, I put my hands on my hips and jutted my head out at her. "You think?"

<But...but this is all wrong,> she insisted, floating up until she was hovering at least a foot above my head. <You should be, at the very least, at the early stage of Core Formation! Maybe peak Foundation Establishment, but no lower than a half-step to Core Formation! Even if you weren't, you wouldn't have been able to survive the trip over if you weren't a cultivator! The system isn't supposed to choose mortals!>

"Waaait a minute," I said. "So...I could've died...because the system made a mistake? Because your stupid employers screwed up?"

<Don't talk about them like that!> she hissed.

My hands went up in surrender and I backed up a little. "Alright, alright...But still, I should be dead right now?"

<Technically, yes,> she admitted. <I don't know how - or why - you're still alive, though.>

"Huh...So, now that you know that I'm not capable of doing what you need me, can you take me back home?"

The fairy blanched. Her little shoulders hunched together as her little wings slowed their frantic beating. Drifting closer to me, she murmured, <You can't...>

I blinked. "What? Why not?"

<Because...Because you're not supposed to-> She cut herself off, her eyes glazing over.

I didn't have the time for her hesitation. Clapping my hands in front of her face, I brought her back. "What?" I demanded. "Spit it out!"

<Live!> she shouted. <You're not supposed to live after the MC comes for you! There's no contingency plan for sending back a sect leader that doesn't work out because they don't survive!>

She stopped, huffing and puffing as her little lungs worked their hardest to bring in air. Her shoulders drooped as she shook her head. <I'm sorry, Austin. This really shouldn't have happened to you.>

I barely heard her apology, still rocked by the news that I was practically given a death sentence. I was never going to see my family again. I'd never see Earth again. No more cooking half-inedible meals while binge-watching the latest Netflix show. No more late nights hanging out with my friends. No more English muffins. I guess it's true what they say, then.

Curiosity judo-slams the cat into the ground, stomps on it, chops its tail off, and runs it over with a four-wheel truck.