By the time my disciple managed to break open the seal, he had exhausted himself. He waved back and forth as he stumbled toward me, holding out the scroll.

"This one has completed his master's will," he said.

I took it from him and smiled. "At ease, my disciple! You've earned your rest."

My disciple collapsed on the spot. He'd fallen face first, uncaring that he was still very naked and the ground was very, very rough. Still, he groaned and reached under his stomach to comfort himself.

I winced for him and turned to the scroll. Taking a deep breath, I steeled my resolve and unfurled the scroll. Contrary to my expectations, I wasn't blinded by a magnificent golden light. The scroll was...plain, besides the seal. I detected no qi scents anywhere on it. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Whatever. It's open now; time to read!

'Hi there, Austin! This is Angela, one of the system admins who voted to give you a little gift! It really sucks we can't send you back, but I guess that's what we get when we let the system get out of hand with its experiments, huh? Anyway, let's talk about what's in the crate! We've given you 4 spiritual plants that'll help you summon more cultivators for your sect. Just put them in the offering bowl you made and the system will take care of the rest! That's the last time it'll work for you, though. Sorry about that!

We've also taken the liberty of giving you some jade slips containing cultivation information for you and your disciples. We're unsure if you'll ever be able to make it...anywhere in the cultivation world, but we've given you some high-ranking plants, so they should work for them.

Don't forget to make good use of the instruction guide we've given you as well! It'll tell you some important sect buildings you'll need to build, some activities sect members do, and some general things about cultivation. Hopefully, it'll help you out while you're just getting started. Once you've got the foundation down, well, that's up to you!

And don't worry about saving face in front of your disciples. They're basically barely alive things given sapience with no experience in how the cultivation world works. Blank slates, if you will. As long as you don't mistreat them and are actually semi-competent, they'll stay loyal to you. Heh. That's kinda messed up when you think about it. So just don't, okay?

Have fun!'

When I finished reading the last word, the scroll dissipated into mist and faded into the air.

"Huh," I muttered. "That's...huh."

My disciple grunted and flipped onto his back. "This one means to inquire about the intricacies of 'huh', master."

I grimaced hearing him call me that. It fed my ego before but now, it felt kind of weird knowing he was just a clueless baby in a man's body. Naked body. Why couldn't they be summoned with clothes?

"Nevermind," I told him. "Um...do you have a name?"

He tilted his head towards me. "No," was his simple reply.

"Right. Cool. Do you...want one?"

"If it pleases the master, this one will gladly take on a name."

"Okay. How about..."

Don't screw this up, Austin, don't screw this up. This isn't just some random sect this is somebody's name. It's gotta be something good like-

"Bob?"

"Bob is an acceptable name, master."

"Great," I sighed. "Let's go summon the rest of our sect members, shall we?"

"This one asks if he may rest a bit longer, master," he said.

"Oh, right, sure, I can just...power through the smell," I muttered.

Getting to my feet, I put my hand over my nose and rushed to the crate. Eyes watering, I grabbed the first plant-like thing I set my eyes on. The wriggling root came out with my hand, squirming slimily. I held back the urge to drop it and vomit, rushing over to the summoning altar. I dropped the root into the offering bowl. The odd smell of the system's qi arrived.

Okay, Angela wasn't lying. Guess it would work.

The body of yet another naked person started to form. I turned, not wanting to watch the process. What if it was a woman?

I flushed and hurried back to the crate. The overwhelming scents helped to clear the naughty thoughts from my head. We definitely need to make clothes for them soon.

I grabbed the next spirit plant: a star-shaped lily pad. When I turned back to the summoning altar, I found a man, shorter and fatter than both me and Bob. His long, flowing hair fell in curtains around his head in a rather unflattering way. I tried not to gag at his floppy man boobs as I approached him.

He bowed when he saw me. "This one is eager to serve the sect master."

His words didn't match the bland tone, but I figured I'd take what I could get.

"Yeah, that's great, um, your name's gonna be, uh, Fa...Fabio? Yeah, Fabio. Um, that's Bob," I pointed toward my first disciple. "Go get acquainted with him or whatever."

"Yes, master." Fabio straightened up as much as he could and jogged over to Bob.

I shuddered, mentally dressing the man up in the loosest, non-revealing clothes as I could. Pushing on, I dropped the lily pad in the offering bowl. This time, the person that formed was a tall and fit woman. I kept my eyes firmly on her face as she gracefully stepped down from the rock and bowed to me.

"Master," she said, rising from the bow. Her eyes met mine; they had the same empty intelligence that Bob's did. "How may this one serve you?"

Be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool-

"Kitten," I blurted. "That's your name. Um. Bob. See, uh, see him."

She bowed once more and stalked past me.

Kitten? Kitten??? Are you serious? I-nevermind, just get the next one.

A vine with metallic thorns created a buff man with spiky hair. I named him Johnny. A hot and heavy piece of moss sprouted a shorter girl with a bouncy bob cut. I named her Poppy.

When the last disciple was summoned, a fierce gust of wind blew away what remained of the ash ritual lines. I jumped on the offering bowl to keep it safe from the wind. It hurt, but my efforts were well-rewarded.

I didn't get the chance to celebrate my save, though, because a familiar screech resounded through the forest.