Dear younger self,

Fuck you. In fact, I really hate you to the point of wishing that you weren't me. At first glance, this may sound like something an adult would say when they recall something embarrassing they had done when they were in middle school or when you bring friends over to your house and your mom brings over a photo album containing what could possibly be events one would not want to explore for the rest of their lives, however, in this case, if ever I would meet anyone who would've said the same thing to me that the 'me' back then had told myself, I would straight up attack that person until they're beaten to the point where the remains of said person wouldn't be recognized no matter how much they would update the autopsy report. 

Now you may be wondering "what exactly I have said that would make me despise my younger self (3 years ago to be exact)?", well it would be the fact that I had told myself that the unbelievable torture and hell called boredom would only last for 300 or so days and that I had severely underestimated the suffering I had to endure. Well, to clarify, there was barely any proper entertainment for toddlers because neither television nor the Internet exists, and that my household, unlike a certain person who's family name consisted of both the color that could be described as a lighter shade of black and a certain rodent that could be seen in sewers and such, was a fairly modest one that while financially stable, wouldn't be able to afford the luxuries that the children of nobility normally enjoy. Like seriously what does a kid have to do to even get his hands on a normal book. What made it worse was the fact that I had to act like an actual toddler or else I would've most likely been burnt at the stake so whenever my family used baby talk with me, I had to act like I was actually a toddler. Also unlike a certain NEET who got himself killed(I still don't know how I died), I didn't have the audacity to enjoy the breastfeeding sessions with my Mother. I mean don't get me wrong, under normal circumstances, I would 110% be happy if I got to do it with such a beautiful girl(which I did for the first few times), however, I started seeing her as my mother and it just felt really embarrassing. The same could be said for my family bathing me. The only one I could stand bathing me was my sister because I couldn't see her as anything more than a child which in turn, had labelled me as a siscon and had left my crybaby father in tears. Because of that fiasco, I had to do more dumb yet cute baby things just so my father would stop crying and shouting "My Riel doesn't love Papa anymore!!!".

In all honesty, not everything was bad. Throughout the years, I had eventually recognized them as my actual family. I had eventually learnt more about them. Like how my dad is an absolute son/daughter-con and that he would dote on me and nee-chan. Or like how nee-chan (Her actual name is Layla) likes it when I call her nee-chan. By the way, it just so happened that my first words happened to be nee-chan because nee-chan had stumbled into the room as I was repeatedly saying nee-chan. I mean like, of course, I was excited to finally have a nee-chan so I kept practising how to say it cutely (I'm not a siscon I swear). I also found out that Mom turns really scary whenever Dad messes up like that one time he dropped me while carrying me(for a moment there I saw my life flash before my eyes), she turned into a real demon(By the way I was thankfully caught by Mom).

Anyways, with all that being said, I felt depressed every time I remembered that each of them would meet unfortunate ends. Heck, I've even had nightmares about each of them dying (not so fun when you consider that I'm biologically a toddler). I was in a state of depression for a while when I had realized that my new family that I had come to love would experience these tragedies. And so at some point, I was determined to not let them die. As much as I want to say that this is the start of my exp grinding journey to become the strongest person to ever live for the sake of protecting my loved ones from the cruel mistress known as fate (wow that line sent chills down my spine) there was a major flaw, I JUST TURNED THREE YESTERDAY!!! Forget being allowed to kill monsters, I wouldn't even be allowed to go out of the house by myself. However, it isn't impossible for me to grow stronger before I turn 9 and witness the tragedy of the Lostbelt House. It seems that it is acceptable for a 7-year-old to start his/her adventuring career(Of course it would be menial tasks and no S-class subjugation missions). This makes it so I can successfully convince my parents to let me become an adventurer. The problem is if I can get strong enough to beat the bandits who are supposed to massacre not just my parents but the entire village.

Speaking about the bandits, if I recall correctly, the reason why bandits had massacred the entire village was that a random low-ranking black mage had used some sort of spell to determine the ideal sacrifice for one of his rituals. It seems that the prime sacrifice was a child of great talent which is supposed to be me, however, Riel together with Nee-chan had managed to escape the village while the bandits had mistaken another child who while talented, was less talented then Riel and was sacrificed instead. It appears that the sacrifice had given the black mage considerable strength despite the sacrifice being the second choice. Also, did I forget to mention that the so-called random black mage actually turns into the head of the evil organisation that becomes one of the player's main obstacles in the game? No? Well, there you go. With that being said, I could only imagine how scary it would be if Riel was captured and turned into the sacrifice instead. Pretty sure there wouldn't even be a game anymore. I'm just glad that the black mage is currently weak and insignificant for now. Hmm... I wonder why I've only recalled these important plot points...Oh yeah, I was too preoccupied with BOREDOM. Anyways, this means that I only have two years to get strong enough to kill a low ranking black mage. If only I had a magical necklace that summons slimes I could kill for exp. At this point, I have no clue if I'm even able to become strong enough to survive, let alone protect my family. I'm scared. Very scared. I need help. 

Please, help.

Anyone...

"Mom! Riel is crying!!!" (Layla)

'What? Oh, it seems that I'm crying again. I thought that I was over the entire crying thing.'

"Don't worry Riel, Nee-chan is here. So don't worry and stop crying." (Layla)

" *sob* Nee-chan? *sob* " (Riel)

"Don't worry, Nee-chan is here. You wanna tell Nee-chan why you're crying?" (Layla)

'Even though I'm mentally older than her, she's actually more mature than me huh?'

" *sob* I had a *sob* dream that *sob* you guys were *sob* gone *sob* " (Riel)

'It technically isn't a lie'

"Haha don't worry Riel, Nee-chan, Mama, and Papa aren't gonna leave you. We're always gonna be together forever"(Layla)

" *sob* Bu-" (Riel)

"Shhh. We won't ever leave you Riel right Papa?" (Mom)

"That's right. We won't ever leave you. In fact, I'm more scared of you and Layla leaving me and Mom." (Papa)

"R-really?" (Riel)

""" Yes."""

They all came close to me and hugged me at the same time. I kept crying until I eventually stopped. It seems I'm truly blessed. Okay, I've made my decision. Even if I've been damned by this world's shitty plot, I won't let that stop me from my happy end!