Author: Edited in as of Oct 12th. 

So since it had been several months since my last post when I released this chapter,I forgot that I was writing the story in third person. Hence, this ended up being first person and i only noticed this recently. 

I'm not sure if I will remember to fix that or if I will keep the change for a while 

***

[Your feats within the Instant Dungeon have vastly exceeded the Dungeon's grade.]

[Rewards are being calculated based on the player's performance]

Hm? What does that mean, then? Am I going to get something amazing?! Well, given that the time limit to pass the dungeon was a full year and I passed it in a day or two, I'd say I did deserve something good. 

[The following rewards have been generated. Please choose]

The fuck? I had to choose?  I hate games like this.

I looked through the two choices given to him and blinked. "Woah," I exclaimed. "What are these based on?"

The options were, [Arm of the Infernal Damned] Which I assumed was maybe referring to the Hell Knight? Why was it not stated as that, though? Whatever. The second option was, [Sexy Android Maid MK. 5]

[Taking into account the feats within the Dungeon, the rewards were based on the needs and desires of the player]

Fuck yeah, man. 

"Gimme my sexy android!" I spoke with not an ounce of hesitation. 

...Would it come with internal heating and vibration? No, what am I talking about? Of course it would.

The system was silent for a few moments.

[...You are currently missing an arm.]

"So? I want the maid."

[The player is currently missing an arm] It said again, almost insistently.

"Fuck off. Maid."

Suddenly, I got a message. Not from the system, but a direct message. Also, it was a voice chat request! That was an option?

I checked the sender, [Kable] Alright, well who the hell is Kable? I don't know any Kables. And the subject, [Listen here, you little shit] Was starting to piss me off.

I accepted the request with some annoyance and was assaulted with a string of curses before the unfamiliar voice finally settled down. [Alright, you little bastard, what the hell is wrong with you? You're missing a fucking arm. Why are you trying to pick the stupid maid?]

This cunt! 

I folded my arms stubbornly. Well, arm. "Fuck off, you silly little twat. I made my choice, what's it to you?"

[Pick the goddamn arm!]

"Maid"

[You're starting to annoy me. Pick. The fucking. Arm.]

"You take the arm if you love it so much, prick." I didn't even bother to hide the edge to my voice.

[Look here, asshole, you need both arms]

"I need a sexy android, is what I need. Who the hell are you anyway?"

[Your bastard]

"Yeah, you sound like one too. No, but seriously, who?"

[i told you, I'm--] A muffled shout that I couldn't make out stopped him. [I know!] The man responded, obviously not to me. [Dammit, I don't have time for this.]

The system sent a new message.

[Authorization has been granted. You may take both rewards.]

Oh shit? Nice. So bitching and being stubborn does pay off! Who is this guy, though? A system admin?

Ah, he was talking again. [Don't get too happy. This system isn't mine, I'm probably going to get locked out because of this shit. For the record, I hope you get cucked.]

How dare he. And I didn't even say anything that time. What is he, a mind reader? Anyway, I fucked your mother.

[You fucked everyone's mother. And wife. And sister. That's why I'm in this mess!] The man then seemed to be talking to someone else. [ Cade? Shit! Someone help--] I heard a series of explosions that drowned out his voice and the connection was lost

Huh. That was kind of weird, now wasn't it? I'm not sure why, but I feel a tiny bit guilty for some reason. 

Ah, whatever.

I ignored Kable's unknown fate and turned my attention to my hard-earned rewards. To be honest, at the last second I thought those clones would accidentally kill me, too. In fact, where are my clones? I looked around and belatedly noticed that the surroundings had recovered their original undestroyed appearance. 

Not a soul was in sight. Was I still in the dungeon? Maybe I'd be taken away once I accepted my loot.

Thinking as much, I pressed the [accept] button that had popped up. In the next moment, my vision was blinded. Before I knew it, I was back in the club from before and still holding my alcohol. The sounds of the various throngs of people entered my ears.

That didn't last long. Because soon they noticed something. And as they had, so did I. 

[The Arm of the Infernal Damned has been equipped. Limited usage of the Infernal Flames has been granted due to the effect of the Arm. Number of usages per month: 3]

My entire left arm had been replaced. It was a beautiful, eerie black and gold. Entirely metal, very similar to the arm of the armored Knight I'd just taken on. This one, however, was attached to me via what looked like a leather strap. The whole thing was a bit bulky, but cool. 

I moved the fingers, and surprisingly I was able to actually feel the movements. I touched my cheek with it. The metal seemed faintly warm, but at the same time, I felt my own warmth. 

Heh. Nice. I'm whole again!

I was still more interested in my new maid. With obvious giddiness, I checked my inventory. In one of the empty slots was now...a doll? It looked like a mannequin. What. The fuck. 

I clicked on it and a few options popped up. Delete, or activate. I of course clicked activate. 

All of a sudden the surrounding men and women screamed in surprise as a white orb came to life and quickly expanded. And from that light, came the mannequin. Android. Everyone freaked out. Me, I was just disappointed. 

That is, until something strange happened. From the indentation where its eyes should be, a beam of green shot out and scanned me up and down. 

Then, moments later, it changed appearance and became...

My mother. Naked. Okay, not naked. But the black lace bra and crotchless panties left nothing to the imagination.

"Oh come on!" I slammed my fist on the countertop. "I can't fuck that!" 

The android's lips curved upwards teasingly. "Is this not your preferred form, Dearest Master?" It even spoke like her! Goddammit! "I know it is. My scans indicated as such." She, or it, stalked forward. Like a hunter on the prowl. And, to my utter horror(?) started straddling my waist. It's nipples became erect. 

"Ruin me, Master." It whispered in my ear. And I caught the faint scent of chocolate. 

Alright, I'll admit it. I'm hard. 

But I've got morals, okay?  So no, I won't fuck this insanely hot, sexy, moist, warm, tender...

No, stop that, me. It looks like your mother, you prick. A small devil version of myself appeared at my left shoulder. 

"So? She's not your real mother." Yeah, said every Family Strokes video ever. She just looks exactly like her and is, sickeningly enough, giving me a raging boner. 

But that is true. It's just a bot.

Suddenly an Angel Me popped up to my right. 

"Are you supposed to tell me, 'don't fuck it, it still looks like your mom and that's weird.'?" I asked hopefully, obviously not aloud but through my mind.

"Hm?" It seemed confused. "Oh. No, I'm good. I just came to watch." Angel Me then conjured a La-Z-Boy and an arrangement of snacks, foremost of them being heavily buttered popcorn I swear I could smell.

"Oi, you're supposed to be the good, lawful me." I chastised him. Meanwhile, my mother was nibbling on my earlobe. "Leading me down the right path and all that."

"Exactly," The Angel replied. " And I'm saying the right path is pounding the shit out of your Android Mother's sweet, succulent ass until it falls in love with your dick." 

It's hard to argue with such logic.