Opening my eyes my vision is filled with a wide field of green, a clear blue sky… and a stampede of… what the hell ARE those!? Wait, why am I here in the first place…better yet where IS here?!?
(Voice) “Tasuke! What are you doing staring off in a daze! They’re coming!”
Tasuke…? Who’s that, looking back and forth a small group of Fantasy Cosplayers are standing behind me. Typical group… there’s the cute Healer looking girl that is wearing simple clothes and holding something carefully, probably some kind of holy item or something. Next to her there’s another girl with a Witch hat, a frilly skirt that reaches her knees… It’s not Halloween right?
(Weirdo wearing armor) “Tasuke! Wake up! We can’t do this unless we ALL work together!”
Who the hell is he talking to? Seriously though… guy… why are you wearing such a realistic looking costume? Did you spend the last year or did you order it online and paint it with some reflective paint…. Wait… another person with the same cosplay?
Do you guys really have to match… are you trying to be some knights in shining armor. I thought people grew out of that in their teens.
(Other Weirdo) “Reindo, we don’t have much time left, Tasuke will join up! For now we have to stop the monster stampede!”
That’s right! I forgot about those monster looking things running this way!
“Shouldn’t we run away? How are we going to stop that…monster…stampede?”
I felt like I was going to choke, what the heck is this sudden fantasy setting.
(Healer looking Girl) “What are you saying Tasuke! If we don’t stop them here… They’ll tear the village appart! We promised we’d do something about it!”
… Wait… I’M TASUKE???
Wait wait wait… what the hell? Unable to comprehend what was going on I grab my head in distress and scream
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Right then I felt an unfamiliar weight tug on my belt, looking down at myself I’m wearing some kind of leather looking clothes with… a sword hanging from my waist. Is this real?
Pulling the sword out from the sheath I can feel its weight… It’s definitely real, as real as this whole situation… Ha… ha….ha… So this is where my life ends… in some weird place, with some weirdos, killed by some weird monster things…
LIKE HELL I’M GONNA LET IT GO DOWN LIKE THAT!!!
(Healer Girl) “Ta-Tasuke… are you ok? Do you need me to heal you!? Where does it hurt?!”
“Kukuku… I’m fine, 100 percent fine.”
Stabbing the sword into the ground I walk over to the Witch looking girl.
(Witch Girl) “Ta…su…you’re scaring me… what’s wrong with you?”
With a smile I point at the metal stick the girl is holding.
“Lend me that”
Confused the girls stare at each other before the girl reluctantly hands me her weapon.
(Witch Girl) “What do you”
Swinging up the staff onto my shoulder and turn to the stampede of beasts. Hmm, it has good feel to it, looks pretty sturdy. This should work well.
(Witch Girl) “H-Hey? Tasuke? Why did you leave your favorite sword behind???”
Ignoring her I rush off to help the two knight cosplayers who are already holding back several of the strange beasts with their shields.
“Outta the way!”
The first guy in armor hearing me yell moves out of the way letting the beast rush at me. Not yet… not yet… All right!
“SWWWWING BATTER!”
Throwing my whole body into it, I swing the metal stick like a bat knocking the creature into the air and… it flies into it’s friend?
(Knight Cosplayer B) “Alright! Tasuke is back!”
(Reindo) “Gerald! Concentrate on the enemy! We have to keep them away from Tasuke and the girls!”
Did… I just swing that overgrown cow…thing into it’s friend? How the hell did I do that! That thing looks at least 500 pounds!
Before I can even try to grasp the situation I thought I started to figure out another of the … monster…cow…demon things lets out a roar.
Wait… a Roar? Why is it roaring? Isn’t it supposed to Moo!? What’s with this gap!
(Witch Girl) “TA-SUKE!”
What now woman! Can’t you see we’re in a life or death situation here!
(Witch GIrl) “How could you swing the stave I saved up a year to get around like a club! Just because you went and somehow got a Dwarven craftsmen to make me that Mithral Stave doesn’t mean you can treat it so rough!”
Mithral Smithral, who cares what it’s made of or who made it! This is the only thing I can use right now! I’ve never swung a sword around before and you expect me to use it!? No way! The difficulty level is just too high!
(Reindo) “Sylvie! Stop bickering with Tasuke and HELP!”
This Reindo guy needs to get his head checked out, how can that scrawny girl do any
(Sylvie) “@#)**#$)#**))*(%)”
…The hell is she saying…What’s with the special effe…
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!
(Sylvie) “Flame Lance!”
My jaw drops as the witch girl suddenly had 3 spears of fire appear over her head and sends them flying at the monsters near us skewering them. What the FREAK was that!
Before I could even try to voice out my confusion I feel an impact behind me and I get tossed several feet like a cheap rag doll.
God DAMN that hurts!! Can’t you read the mood you damned cow!? Ugh that hurts like hell.
(Sylvie) “Tasuke! Anabelle please!”
Using the stave as support I slowly support weight and stand up. Like Hell I’m gonna take that laying down, that’s it! I’m gonna make lunch out of you ya damned oversized hamburger patty!
(Anabelle) “Cure!”
After hearing that, my body becomes lighter and the pain subsides… There’s only one explanation for this… I’m more bad ass than I thought I was.
After a long grueling battle we finally finished defeating the stampede, good god I’m tired. I haven’t exercised like this since I was a kid! At least now I can catch my breath a bit now and try to figu-
(Sylvie) “Give Siena back now Tasuke!”
…What is this girl going on about now? Siena? Why are there so many people here! Wait who the hell IS Siena!? There’s no one else here but us!
Puffing her cheeks out she grabs her stave from my hands and starts to hug and inspect it
(Sylvie) “Siena better not have a single scratch on her or I’ll never forgive you!”
…She named … her stick… really?
(Reindo) “Hahaha, Come now Sylvie cut Tasuke some slack! And didn’t you name your sword Tasuke? You really love messing with Sylvie don’t you.”
“…Why…would I name a piece of metal?”
Time seemed to stop for a moment and they all stared at me dumbfounded… what? Did I say something weird?
