328 – Alfi Titor – [Boomer Band] Hana got me a new game! Let’s play! (END)
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The boss dropped its shield and a sword when it died, equipment that Alfi immediately equipped.

And when she did, she clicked her tongue again. "What is this stance?"

[thriftyWasp] lol
[fondPudding] The roasting continues XD
[offendedMussel] TooSoft devs dying right now.

Alfi quickswapped her equipment, watching as her character changed from holding the giant shield and short sword to dual wielding blades.

[dearWeaver] What's wrong with it?
[grumpyIcecream] Alfi, relax. It's just a game.
[wrathfulPepper] Clippers, please don't. I don't want the next TooSoft game to be impossible. T_T

"There are so many things wrong here..." Alfi switched her equipment a few more times and then sighed, moving her character towards a glowing message on the ground pointing to a cliff.

<Jump off here to continue story.>

[grumpyDoves] So you have to die anyway?
[blissfulMackerel] You can beat the boss, but can't beat death, huh?
[decimalCordial] Wait, I wanna hear what's wrong with the stance.

Alfi made her character jump off the cliff. And then her eye twitched when she saw the <You Died> message fill the screen.

"...Maybe I should talk with Papa and Uncle Titor a bit. This game is better than Meincraft, but forcing destiny like this... Isn't the point of a game to give the player freedom to explore? Honestly... I should send a letter to the designers of this game."

[cynicalPear] Please don't.
[guiltyGarlic] NO!
[culturedKitten] YES!
[GreenHexagon] DO IT!
[lovesickDingo] :evilsmile:

Alfi shook her head and then turned to look at the chat as the loading screen came up. She wiped the frown off her face and put on her usual bright smile. "Sorry about that. I didn't expect to be so bothered by the inaccuracy. The game is still fun, but it's a bit annoying..."

[holisticClam] No, no.
[soreWasp] tskr
[mellowStork] It's our pleasure. :blobmelt:
[soreMandrill] Angry Alfi is just as beautiful as happy Alfi.

Alfi blushed and fiddled with her hair, giggling. "W-Well... It's a bit embarrassing to show my angry side, but I'm happy you don't mind."

[Kuro Neko Ch. ✓] Kyaaaaaaa. Why do you have to be so cute! Dammit!
[Nana Shizuka Ch. ✓] <100 USD> I've decided! I'm going to work hard to be as cool and cute as Alfi!
[Alfis_Knight 🔧] @Nana Shizuka Ch. :thumbsup: Keep up the effort!

Alfi glanced back at the screen and saw that a cutscene was playing. One that she couldn't skip. Seeing that, she let out a sigh and muted the audio before turning to chat. "It looks like this is going to take a while, so let's talk a bit. First, thank you for watching! I know that it's late for a lot of you, so I'm grateful you're here."

[needfulApples] Even if it was 3 AM I'd still watch, Alfi!
[pleasedMeerkat] This is actually a perfect time!
[mellowFerret] It's early morning here, so this is great!
[betrayedViper] Meh. It's only 9.
[dreadfulLard] 2 PM in the UK, so don't worry.

"Eh?" Alfi tilted her head and said, "Then this is a good time? I was always worried that I was keeping you up late..." She smiled and said, "Okay! Let's keep enjoying our nights together then!"

[aloofThrushe] :thumbsup:
[wornoutCake] Hehehe... We get to go to sleep with Alfi.
[superiorEagle] Bro. You're going to get bonked.

[pleasedPretzels] For real tho. What's wrong wit the fighting?
[holisticChile] The fighting is realistic! I've copied a lot of techniques from the game!
[selfishRaisins] Yeah! How else are you going to fight monsters?

Alfi glanced at the chat and then her eye started to twitch. "What's wrong with the fighting...? Are you truly asking that?"

[gloomyQuiche] Oh boy.
[fondBuzzard] Did we discover Alfi's berserk button?
[enviousHeron] YABE.

"Give me a moment. Let me get some props to demonstrate..."

The camera turned black. After that, some rustling echoed in the background, along with the sounds of clanking metal.

[goofyRice] Wait. Is Alfi really wearing armor?
[pleasedWeaver] Is she really going to demonstrate?
[jumpyMandrill] Nah. She's joking... right?

[Alfis_Knight 🔧] Fufufu...
[Alfis_Couch] It seems like people are underestimating Alfi-sama's skills.
[Alfis_HotCocoa] :popcorn:

Alfi's voice echoed, sounding a bit far away. "Mira-chan. Can you help me adjust everything?"

[sincereTuna] Mira-chan?
[betrayedSausage] Eh?
[bubblyCoati] Does Alfi have a manager too?

[MIRAIZ 🔧] <System Message> Adjusting camera settings.
[insecureMagpie] OH!
[Anumi] Mira-chan... Like Dronii?
[enviousOatmeal] Prototype has a robo buddy too! Neat!

The screen flickered back on, showing Alfi standing in the middle of her room with a full body shield and two sheathed swords, just like her character.

[hushedBass] She's really doing it?!
[morbidTacos] Alfi v. Kuromi when?
[adoringPie] YO! World Line playthrough boutta be wild!

Alfi tilted her head, squinting, and then she said, "Oh! Can you change the window too, Mira-chan? It's hard for them to see me. We can play the game later. This is more important."

[MIRAIZ 🔧] <System Message> Adjusting window layout.

Alfi's camera feed filled the screen, replacing the game.

"Great! Thank you, Mira-chan!" Alfi smiled and then turned to face the camera. "Okay. Now I know that a lot of you have never been in a real fight against people or monsters, so you wouldn't understand."

[crushedCaviar] I've totally been in a fight!
[thrilledRhino] roasted. XD
[cautiousViper] Where the tough guys at? lol

Alfi raised her shield and said, "Something like this is meant to block attacks and keep your body safe. And it works. But defense isn't everything." She made a show of trying to attack with her sword. "You need to be able to strike back as well. But when paired with something this short, it's hard to reach without moving the shield out of the way. But when you do, you leave yourself open. See?"

[solemnAbalone] Naruhodo.
[truthfulRice] But if you're fast enough, it doesn't matter, right?
[grudgingMagpie] You can just deflect the attacks and counter!

"Deflect the-" Alfi closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "Should I consider it fortunate that you have lived so peacefully as to be ignorant of these principles, or upset that you seem so utterly blind to the basic fundamentals of combat flow...?"

[wornoutPonie] Oh wow.
[thrilledLapwing] Alfi's actually upset?
[Anumi] Oh yeah. Alfi's a combat robot, right?
[pitifulHawk] That's just her 'setting' though. She's not really one in reality.
[adoringWigeon] But Alfi is John's daughter. The oldest, right?
[exactingBittern] John's pretty crazy in martial arts too, isn't he?
[dearOatmeal] @John Smith We need answers, buddy!

Alfi shook her head and then opened her eyes. "I've decided. This is more important." Her relaxed and bright smile faded, replaced with a sharp and cold expression. "I would never forgive myself if you got yourself killed with such mistaken beliefs, so... Let us start at the beginning." She set her sword down and raised her shield. "Before engaging in any sort of combat, you must first be aware of your equipment and its purposes- Oh. It will be hard to see the movements with this on. Mira-chan, can you pause the screen for a bit so I can change?"

[MIRAIZ 🔧] <System Message> Camera feed paused.

The sound of faint rustling and clanking metal echoed. After that, Alfi spoke up. "Okay. You can start it again, Mira-chan."

The camera feed resumed, showing Alfi again.

And when it did.

[guiltyCardinal] Oh god!
[Kurumi69] Oh my goddess!
[betrayedLard] SHE'S SO HOT!
[crummyBustard] THAT'S SO UNFAIR!

It revealed Alfi standing there in a tanktop and shorts. An outfit that left her arms and legs bare. And also an outfit that revealed she was wearing wraps on her chest beneath the tanktop.

But more importantly... it showed off Alfi's perfectly trained body.

[Kurumi69] She could crush a watermelon with those thighs!
[goofyMoth] Alfi 100% was hiding her powerlevel!
[humorousHyena] No wonder Alfi always wears loose clothing!

[affectedOatmeal] There's no way, right?
[gutturalFish] Y-Yeah. She can't *really* be that hot, can she?
[dopeyWigeon] If Alfi was that hot, we would have seen pictures of her by now, right?
[grumpySnail] It's all just CGI, guys. Come on. There's no way she's like that in real life.
[drearyCow] Bruh. Have you *seen* John and his wife? They're literally the hottest people on Earth.

[Alfis_Knight 🔧] Humu. Behold, our beloved and benevolent goddess of war!
[Anumi] ...Well. I understand why all the Alfis are ripped now.
[StraightGarbage 🔧] (O_O) No wonder Queen fell in love. Sexy, hot, cute, muscular... Damn. What kind of genes does John's family have?
[FailureFox 🔧] Skinny jeans, apparently.
[rational_rabbit] ...someone help. I'm lost in wonderland and can't tell up from down. >.>

[Kornuptiko]@FailureFox this was bad and you should feel bad