The ceiling had a natural pattern to it. I could tell by the irregularity in the dark golden brown hues. There was a light base with numerous darker shades of veins traveling through the entire ceiling.

Was really authentic wood? The doc would surprise me if he could honestly afford such a luxury. That was a real emphasis on ‘honestly afford’ any of it.

Like it would matter in a few years. Just like every other system in Betelgeuse's path, the ceiling would eventually burn.

The sound of a book being clapped shut alerted me to turn the same time the doc looked up from his recent scribbling in that notebook. “...I believe this is a good point to stop.” He set his book on a stand next to where he sat and continued: “Please consider what you’ve told me carefully. You’ve made a breakthrough with one of your past relationships.”

Before I got up, I savored the relaxation I had found laying on his couch. It was so much larger than what I was accustomed to: furniture one foot too small. Normally my feet would hang off the edges of the mattress, but that wasn’t the case for the Doc’s couch. The cushions were comfortable and smooth to the touch. I’d have liked to ask him what the cushion covers were made of, but I refrained.

I didn’t want to be here, let alone strike a casual conversation with the doc.

So I sat up straight, ready to end the session, but I wondered if he meant who I thought he did. I asked: “You mean Saran? We got along, at first… but I don’t know what you mean? What went wrong?”

The doc smiled and quickly flipped open his notebook back to a previous entry. He reread the page, once he found it, and elaborated my supposed breakthrough. “You were attracted to her, but once you two became close -- you were scared? Could you repeat to me what it was about her that frightened you?”

“Yeah.” I laughed a little at the memorable experience before I explained. “She’s had issues. One of those silent mile-long-stare types.” Remembering that, I shook my head as I recalled Saran’s expression when she’d go real quiet on me. True silence with nobody home. “She never told me what had happened to her, but I felt like she’d snap at some point. Especially when she got like that. Like if I ever accidentally broke her out of trance, she’d still be in whatever world kept her caged up and -- I don’t know. I didn’t want to find out what’d she do, so we broke up.”

The doc closed his notebook and pointed up as an indicator. “Someone who has had a traumatic episode in their life would experience a great deal of emotional stress. There have been worse cases than what you’ve described Saran having. Epilepsy is a common one.”

I shook my head in response. “She didn’t have seizures.”

“They become more frequent as the pressure increases.” He dropped his notebook in his lap and quickly flipped through the pages in search of something. Then he asked: “What was her position again?”

“An extraterrestrial geophysicist.” The doc’s white bushy brows raised at that career choice. I summarized the details of the job. “She would conduct overland surveys, explore and discover the deeper regions -- like canyons, caverns or caves, and oceans -- and map out the terrain of other worlds before colonization.”

“Sounds dangerous.” I nodded silently in agreement. “What did you expect to happen if you woke her from those trances?” I kept my mouth shut. “Roth? Are you still with me?”

“Yeah. I…” After a moment of silence, I nodded in agreement. “I think you are right. I’d like to stop here.”

“Roth. Look at me.” I listened and obeyed. The doc locked eyes with me for a few seconds before he asked: “Have you been taking your suppressants?” Without saying it, I shook my head. He sighed and tapped his sleeve to turn off the nanite recorder. “Before we end our session, would you tell me what bothered you just now?” He picked the notebook up, but simply tossed it away from himself. It stopped its skid across the floor by my feet. “Off the record. Completely.” He wanted insight on a man not taking his dosages of suppressants. “What was it that bothered you?”

My hands clenched tightly together as I thought about Saran. The more I thought about her, the tighter my hands brutalized each other in their large grips.

I softly spoke: “Saran needed help. Real help.” I let go of my hands to quickly clear my eyes before any waterworks could come forth. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t help her… I couldn’t and I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I was afraid of watching her fall…” I had to rub my eyes more furiously to keep them clear.

“You felt helpless.” I nodded in silence to the doc. “Did you want to save her?” All I did was nod again. “Soup?”

That didn’t sound right. I pulled my hand away from my eyes and gave the Doc a blurry stare. He looked different…

* * *

* * *

“Soup?” Blinking away, I stared at the soldier who came into the tent. He held a steamy bowl out to me. When I didn’t take it right away, he set the bowl down by my side.

I wasn’t sure which had woken me up first, the sound of the voice or the delicious scent coming from the steamy bowl set down by me… probably him. I didn’t recall an invigorating aroma wafting up to my nose in my dream.

If I had, I would have been dreaming of a banquet, not a shrink!

“You’re safe now.” Glancing away from the bowl of soup, I looked at the soldier as he leaned in close to me --

-- and reached toward me to brush the tears off of my cheek. Was I crying in my sleep?

“Ma said a wet face causes wrinkles. You’re too young and pretty for that to happen so soon.” He swept my face clear of tears, but held me beneath my chin and turned me to face side-to-side. I guessed he was inspecting my cheeks for a missed spot?

“Pretty?” I hadn’t a clue how I looked.

He grinned and said, “Yes. You are pretty.” Then he blinked rapidly. “Wait. Maybe I am seeing things.” A couple of seconds later, he let go of my chin, then said, “Let me fix this.” The young soldier leveled his gaze with mine and remained very still and quiet for a moment.

Then he raised a fist and softly bonked himself upside the right of his head. His right eye crossed instantly.

He rubbed his chin and stared at me as I did my best to keep from laughing. “Hm… still pretty. Let me try something else.”

And he repeated the same silly act, but on the left side of his head. Now the other eye crossed.

With both eyes fully crossed, he stated: “Hey! I like this better than before. Now I see two pretty girls.”

I laughed hard enough to cause a bellyache!

As soon as my laughter softened, he uncrossed his eyes and said, “I’ll leave you to eat. I’m right outside if you require anything.” He backed out of the tent on his hands and knees -- which I thought looked funny.

Once he was out, I saw he continued to carefully tend to the campfire and pot of bean soup. At least, I thought it was bean soup. When I looked in my steamy bowl, I saw a soupy paste. Bean paste?

I searched a moment for silverware… and didn’t find any. Was I supposed to scoop the hot meal up with my fingers?

There should have been some familiarity or I was about to be embarrassed when I asked how to properly eat here! Hadn’t the kid tried bean paste soup before?

My mouth had watered enough that I had to gulp a few times before I yielded my pride. I pulled the black and gold fur tighter around me and stood up.

The soldier noticed me stand before I could’ve walked out. He crawled back in and asked: “May I assist you with anything?”

I froze for a second before I blurted out: “How eat?” Out from under the fur blanket, I pointed at the soup.

I witnessed the soldier’s smile for the first time. “Let it cool. When you can tolerate the touch, use a finger.” When I lifted my slim finger up, he was quick to explain the reason. “Mutengge’s orders: eat slow.” That was a word, a name too… but I was too hungry to care right now!

With an instant frown, I stated: “Hungry.”

“I can see that. Only others that can speak over Mutengge are the elders, and I’m not one of them.” He looked down at my bowl, then glanced up at me. Suddenly, he laid down on his stomach and elbows to start blowing on my soup. After a minute, he said, “Take a bit off the top. Don’t dip, just scrap it.”

With his directions, I sat back down, and I scraped a line over the top of the paste. Not hot. Quickly, I brought my warmed fingertip up to my open mouth and nommed on the tip. After a second of suckling on my finger, I reach to make another groove in my soup.

“Keep it at a slow pace and you’ll be able to finish it without burning yourself.” He pushed himself up onto his knees and watched me eat for a minute or two. “Let me know if you need me.” Then he crawled back out.

Slow and steady, I ate without a single burn. Even if I had, I doubted the pain would’ve registered long after I would have numbed it.

When I finished the bowl, I licked it and my finger clean before I gave the soldier a wave with the empty bowl in my hand. He crawled right back in and retrieved the bowl.

I had a chance to look down at my hands, then the ruined blue robe I wore. The young soldier did tell me to let him know if I had need.

I needed a bath.

Pointing at myself, I told him: “Dirty.” ...c’mon girl! “I dir -- I am dirty.”

Instead of receiving a response from the soldier, he reacted with a hard pat on his sleeve -- which puffed dust in the air. He was covered in very fine dirt!

After I registered that, he must have seen that I understood. “When this is over, we’ll all go back and get cleaned up… if it all goes well. If not, we’ll be chasing the Xi for another night.”

He appeared crestfallen at the thought of an ongoing chase. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to be. But I did want to bathe.

“I go -- I will go… The river?” I was getting better, but had a long way to go before I could be fluent with the language.

“Not without approval. That won’t happen with the Xi riding around.” He held a hand up to himself and stated: “I wouldn’t want to be caught by them butt naked. You don’t want that either, do you?”

I almost shook my head, but instead said, “No. How permission?” I let that poor line slide and waited to hear what he had to say.

“You can’t. I told you, it is too dangerous for you.” I knew that, but something in me was being defiant to that logic!

“I be sa --” I bit my bottom lip and concentrated on what I wanted to say. After taking a breath, I told him: “I would be safe if you came with me.”

He smiled and laughed a little before pointing at himself to state: “I would need approval too and I’m not going to be getting any of that. We are all in need of a dip.”

Another instant frown appeared on my face. Then I had an idea: “Bring water here?”

He told me where we were. “We’re in the mountains. We’d have to turn back, like I said.”

Somehow the combination of horsemen in mountains didn’t figure well in my head. I didn’t have a full grasp on what horses were capable of doing, but their hooves didn’t sound like the best to be scrabbling over an incline. Maybe that was why our village wasn’t prepared for their raiding? We never would have guessed…

But that explained how the Xi horsemen had gotten trapped by the Nangjang’s soldiers.

The young soldier corrected himself on one note. “We do have something for you to drink.” He quickly added: “Don’t rinse with it.”

I couldn’t get clean, but maybe I could at least get out of these robes. “Change clothes?”

“I will come back with drink and a change of clothes. Stay here, please?” I nearly nodded again, but I instead gestured at the ground. “That means you’ll stay?”

“Yes. I stay.” As I watched him back out of the tent again, I bundled back up more securely in the fur blanket and waited.

Taking a deep breath, I concentrated on discerning what I had eaten. Not knowing what was in me now made me cautious about transmuting the pasty soup into nutrients my body desperately required. I would have to wait and feel out what my body naturally took from the soup before I could do something with the potential waste. If I could...

The water, when the soldier came back, that was something I could --

-- someone cried out an alarm. Then there was a chorus of shouting and the sound of numberless soldiers suddenly on the move.

I poked my head out of the tent to see what was going on --

-- and got shoved right back in.

“Wait here.” The young soldier pressed a canister against my chest that sloshed up a bit of water onto my hand when I took it by instinct. Just as quickly, he darted off with a crowd of other soldiers.

Something was wrong.

I quickly took a gulp of water and wiped my mouth before I tucked and secured the canister into the sash around my narrow waist. After my refreshment, I disobeyed the soldier and left the tent.

The golden and black-furred blanket almost fell from my shoulders. I gripped it tightly and secured its corners in a knot around my neck. In addition to the fact that the fur’s appearance better suited me now than the ruined blue robe, I also didn’t want to lose the blanket.

I liked it too much.

After my small distraction, I took in the grand scene before me. Over the hills, I saw the box formation of soldiers holding -- shields. They were great big ones that towered over their heads and made of some kind of woven wood. That explained the bark-like texture…

But a section of the box had broken and horsemen flooded through the gap in great numbers. They didn’t flee, but instead turned and fanned out.

Each of them were throwing their javelins into those without protection or into the backs of those soldiers who still hefted the great shields. They must have waited for a moment to get a clear shot instead of wasting their opportunity against those shields.

I turned and saw what was happening on my hill. The soldiers were responding to the breakout. A new line of shields were rushed in a round-tipped formation. When the rounded tip hit the first of the Xi, the ends of the formation’s arms ran forward to curl around the horsemen.

The round-tip formation had turned into a big ‘U’ shape until the soldiers at the ends met with their comrades a part of the box formation. Gradually the pocket formation flattened --

-- and the box was reformed. Soldiers who had not held any shields raced up onto the grassy elevations and began to loose their own javelins or arrows into the thick of horsemen.

I immediately looked away from the sight. Hearing the sounds of so much death was one thing, but seeing it was another. Why was I against seeing the Xi being killed like that? Hadn’t I wanted to kill them some while ago?

A shuddering breath escaped me and I shook my head. I didn’t want to kill. She did. Her vengeance, not mine. All I wanted to do was save those villagers.

There was nothing more I could do for my mother. Seeking revenge would not bring back the dead!

“...no orphans?” I said my thought, but the concept of it was illogical. Why didn’t the girl understand that if I killed those horsemen, that their children would become orphans too?

Death wasn’t a give-take relationship, but a pure take!

I was thankful for the imprinted knowledge she had, but the mind and body were mine now. The kid had to settle with my decisions and keep a lid on those emotions. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to calm down those emotions --

-- and jerked back with an instant sharp pain in my thigh.

Blinking my eyes open, I saw the shaft of an arrow sticking out of my leg. Lifting my gaze, I traced the line of trajectory back to its source.

Four horsemen. They had managed to escape the soldiers’ notice! But why did they aim at me?

Then I saw why. The one who’d shot me was the decorated horseman.

I took a step back and winced when I tried with my injured leg. I couldn’t heal with the blasted arrow still in!

Clenching hard, I muffled a scream as I yanked on the shaft and pulled out the arrow. I saw the arrowhead was in an odd shape… with my torn flesh around it.

Shaking my head to rid me of the sight, I felt my wound close in time for me to get moving again. I searched, but saw none of the soldiers who were up here earlier. Had they all gone to patch up the box formation?

The heavy hooves of the horses were heard behind me! When I glanced over my shoulder, I broke in a run --

-- but I was scooped up! In that instant, I gripped the shaft of the arrow tightly and swung my fist as hard as I could into the soldier’s arm around my waist. After I hearing his scream, he dropped me onto the rushing ground.

I rolled on the ground for a second or two before I smacked into a canvas wall. On all fours, I raised my head up and saw through the filter of my dark hair the sight of those horsemen acutely turning about.

“Run!” My mind whirled in bewilderment for a few seconds. Then I saw the young soldier who’d cared for me in the company of another soldier. There was a third soldier who disappeared down the hill -- likely to alert others of the horsemen.

After my moment of hesitation, I quickly looked around and wondered where the Hell I was supposed to run off to?

As I stood up, the young soldier and his companion ran together. “Get behind us!” I bolted toward them when I saw they had lifted one of those overly large shields up in time to deflect one of the horsemen’s javelins.

But not the arrow. A precise hit violently spun the companion of the young soldier to the ground, causing the unbalanced shield to drop --

-- and leave him exposed for an instant.

As if time slowed for a moment, that instant I helplessly watched as he was struck by the other two horsemen. Those long splinters were felt by his hands for only a moment.

There were only a few steps for me to take to reach him, but I stopped. The look on the young soldier’s face was confused. He looked at me, then down at his stomach and lower abdomen as if he didn’t understand what those javelins were doing there.

An arrow pierced his chest. He lifted his gaze back up to me.

He didn’t make a sound, but I saw his eyes well up.

A whizzing sound passed my ear and I saw the second arrow appear dead center on the soldier’s chest.

He looked up past me. And up. His head rolled back to fully face and stare up at the heavens. Then he stumbled backwards.

And finally he collapsed.

Inside of me, something had become unhinged.

My mouth widely opened as air rushed out me.

Everything had been silenced.

Deafened.

My voice transformed into an explosive hatred in the form of a terrible scream. In that breathless moment, I had been devoured whole by the girl’s wrath.

I whirled around and sprinted. It never crossed my mind that my run toward the horsemen was suicidal. Only a homicidal passion drummed in me.

One of the horsemen tried to catch me again, but I instead slammed my body into the horse’s front legs. My body was crushed in the process of felling the horse head first into the ground over me.

Like a contortionist, I snapped back together and knitted the broken tissue as I scrambled what limbs worked over the fallen horse to the Xi soldier. He saw me and yelled in a panic as I dropped on him.

His weapons. When the Xi tried to withdraw his sword, I tore out the arrow still embedded in his arm. The moment he yelled, I grabbed a javelin from his quiver and jammed the sharp point down.

He was heavily armored, but from the legs up. The Xi were much less protected around the torso. An aimlessly mad stabbing went on until I felt the javelin sink into the man. Then I rolled off, tore the javelin out of the wound I’d inflicted, and left him.

He was incapacitated.

That was enough for me to leave him be.

My enraged mind told me I would deal with him after I finished off his friends.

With the same kind of psychotic strength I’d used in the village, I threw the bloody javelin into another horseman who was in mid-turnabout. That time, I aimed away from the horse and hit the Xi soldier in the shoulder.

He twisted out of his saddle.

Almost in slow motion, he fell while I tended to my self-injury.

While I crunched my shoulder back into its socket, the corner of my vision caught a blur of motion. With feral animosity, I faced a crowd of soldiers coming up the mound who stood stunned.

There were shocked expressions across all of their faces.

My attention returned to the last two horsemen. Both appeared ready to flee, now that they were outnumbered. The two had withdrawn javelin and arrow. Both loosed at the same time and I felt their impacts.

I bared my teeth at them as I tore the missiles out of me and returned the javelin in the same manner as I always had. How I’d struck that Xi soldier -- I hadn’t paid enough attention to know how he’d fared.

He was hit.

Hurt.

Him being down or out of the fight was all that mattered.

My focus was on the decorated Xi. The only one who carried a quiver of arrows.

Like the one that had shot down the young soldier.

As I faced him, my irrepressible anger boiled up and out of me in an eruption of intolerable emotional anguish. My throat ruptured and regenerated in an unbridled scream to the point my damaged voice cracked and burst --

-- and only a guttural growl could be heard from me!

His horse snuffed loudly as it attempted to turn away from my bestial voice. The last capable Xi that was in my sights stared back at me. With a look of wonder, he watched as I tensed and readied to explode in a savage attack.

I would murder him without any restraint.

“Tasha!” Spots appeared and sparkled in my vision as I processed the word he’d said. Tiger?

A flood of aggravated emotions swept away my momentary reasoning when he pulled another arrow from his quiver. The arrowhead had a sleeve which he removed before he notched the arrow and drew it.

Not having a care of his aim, I charged at him and his horse… which began to gallop away? He never pulled the reins, but it looked as if he was directing his mount with his legs.

As he distanced himself from me, he loosed another arrow. The blunt impact of it caused me to spasmodically jerk to a stop, and then burn all over. The pain was possible to ignore, and that time I wasn’t incapacitated by the piercing blow... so I ignored the arrow too. I resumed running after him --

-- but he suddenly fell from his horse. And the horse soon followed after him to the ground.

As I approached, I finally stopped to take in the scene. My vision blurred as I stared at the Xi and his horse in confusion. At least until I noticed the crop of slender yellow shoots were not vegetation. Arrow shafts surrounded the decorated horseman and his horse.

A few of those arrows stuck out of the corpses.

Looking away, I saw the group of Nangjang’s archers on the nearby mound. Their attire blended in with the tall green grass.

The decorated Xi horseman never saw them while he was too focused on me.

The adrenaline in my system began to ebb away. Before it fully faded, I took a look down at myself to find the arrow that hit me. It stuck out of my chest. I took a firm grip and pulled, but it wouldn’t come out.

I tried again with both hands, but the archers were shouting at me. I looked back up and saw they were waving for me to come over. But I could hear them shouting at me to stop?

Which was it!? Come over or stop?

One of the archers raced down the mound’s decline. He had a mixed look of worry and disbelief. I supposed he -- and his buddies -- wondered how I was still alive, let alone standing? That was a safe bet…

With a swift jerk, I freed the arrow with both hands and smiled at the relief in my chest. The archer barked a curse before he came and knelt down. His hands shook as he pressed against the wound in my chest. But I already felt the hole starting to close up --

-- and I felt really woozy now that my hot head cleared. I fell forward into the archer’s arms and had only a view of the green and yellow grass. The waving paper-thin blades had spots? Tiny flecks of red sprinkled over the grass.

In a dazed blindness, I struggled to raise my hand up. It felt as if my chest was on fire. I had to feel for where the archer held my wound closed.

I had to see with my hand what was wrong.

But my hand fell away limp.

I blacked out…