Once, God says, "you cannot enter Heaven unless you become like little children." 

Now once there was a child. A young adult in his teens yet still a child. 

How do one learn to be a child?

***

I was born in a loving family

I came to know who God truly

On who He is from my parents

I know, you feel I am lucky?

No, I believe luck does'nt get the world go round, it's Him, Our Father in Heaven. Well, it Is still your choice what you believe in.

Going on,

I don't know how to explain

I want to tell you something

You're free to refrain,

He loves everyone from everlasting to everlasting

Including me, you!

He gave us life when we are still dust

Guiding us till' now, through the Holy Ghost

Like a father who welcomes His child from a long journey

I want to tell you a story, my story, actually, our story.

When I was still thirteen years old, there was a time when I just thought I heard a voice out of nowhere. Before I heard something, I was very troubled, depressed, I don't know how I came to the point where I feel so despaired. 

They say I was good at studies

I even get to laugh with friends

When they needed me, I smile and help

So just how I feel so ... Help-less?

I am on my room. The door shut and the locks locked. I fell to my knees, my eyes weary, tears flowed like a river. I just.. Just don't know what to do. So like I always do, I intuitively prayed, it does'nt matter how I prayed or how I start it, I just poured it all in one go knowing nothing to do. I just talked to God like He's my Father and I am His precious son, though I still truly felt worthless. There's hole in my heart so deep I can't heal it. 

It's just that, I can't seem to understand

It's not me, or anyone that can heal the gap in my heart

I can't seem to know, it is God

He is right in front of me, but I can't see

- Truly, what we see now is like a dim image in a mirror, but we shall see face-to-face. My knowledge is but partial, but it will be complete, as complete as how He(God) know me. -

I cried and cried that whole morning, I stop, and cry again, and feeling forgotten, I said, "Please! God! If you're there, I know you Can mend me... Please-" A seemingly loud but gentle whisper came bringing me shivers, "Come," but out of unfortunate unbelief I recollected, but soon, " Come, my dear child, I will..." 

Like once full heart slowly draped overtime, but comes a mildew to water it up,

Like what the lyrics on the song says,

"Oh faith, rise up

Oh  heart, believe

Oh faith, rise up in me"

Once again the singer sings her soul,

"Oh faith, rise up

Oh heart, believe

Oh faith, Rise Up In Me~!!!"

I was still in a circle of doubt but my heart, I now dont know but, slowly building up, it tickles inside me...

The moment I heard the word 'come' the second time around, I knew it, God is calling, ' I must answer' . Sobbing, "hmu hmuu, yes, Papa"

Oh when a heart loves

Grows all the richer

Oh when a heart believes, it loves

Becomes fuller

For when it loves

It does so because of thy Heavenly Father

Then I quickly grab my journal notebook, together with my pen, my Father, and my heart I simply wrote: 

     You called me, now I am yours, You told me to come, and I will, Papa  

I feel so great, I wrote it, and now I'm thinking what happened. And again I heard, my father and my mother at the sala talking to each other. Thinking back, I thought that maybe what I heard was just them talking to each other, but no, for whether it is or not, I knew God called me. Whether he just uses my parents as an instrument to talk to me or whether he talked to me directly, God knows. But what I'm sure of is this, ' He called me'. 

When it comes, you can't deny

When fills you up, it fills you warm

Because it's Love

God's Per~fect Love~

Every now and then I felt an urge to go outside, to go in our cabin near the mountain range, about 1 kilometer far in our home, because we lived in the countryside. There I can just listen to God's voice silently as the wind blows to the fields and flowers. The sight of nature made by Papa, it somehow calms me, and now that I am 19 I can just drive on my own telling mom and dad I'll be on my way to our cabin. Ofcourse, my journal when I was thirteen is always with me, reminding me. It makes me go to cheerful tears and little sobs when I am thinking and feeling about it again. I realized that the problem last time is that I went so drained on my spiritual life or personal connection with God and it's effects are much more detrimental than I thought. Yes, I'm not really that depressed at all but around time when I got to teens and went to our regional university, i got pumped up by assignments and many projects, yes I enjoy them, I enjoy them a lot since I was also with my friends but those time around I don't know how to pray and I'm forgetting, sincerely, I don't know how to live truly holy, now thinking back, I thought that's also part of God's Love, His purpose for me and those around me, well God knows. But yeah also, maybe the most heart-breaking thing I went through that I had been sad is because my best friend died the time, and my other close friends just unnoticingly stayed away from me, it truly hurts. *sigh . But there's no point thinking back about bad memories and playing pity-party now, all about past is past and it makes me grow to who I am, It's exciting that there's more about future to come, yeah? 

Seek the Kingdom(of God) first and it shall be added unto you. Hallelujah~

Now I'm on my collage with a course for flight attendant or steward, happy with my family and (new) friends. Just as how my Papa said to make peace with people, I'd also said my aches to my close friends and make up with them, well although ofcourse usually at first you'll be hesitant and bashful, but Papa helped me through that . Yes, everytime I did something like that, we might not understand or see it but my heart feels a big warmness and that I've helped the world so greatly either with 'small' or 'big' kindness I give, yes(with a smile), our hearts just know.

We are too called to be like stars lighting up the nightsky for people, bringing the message of Life to others.

Like what apostle Paul says, we are still not perfect, and I'd also not claim to be one. Yes, I want and is keeps striving to win the prize for which Christ Jesus has already won me to Himself. So like Him, let's run straight toward the goal in order to win the prize, which is God's call through Christ Jesus to the life above. --- to life more meaningful, no more pain, no more sorrow nor crying, life in His Kingdom.

Rejoice dear souls

Brothers and sisters

Peace, It is the Lord

it is the Lord 

Now and forever, amen

Now that I learnt that there is a life more meaningful than here, and a life with all our loved ones with Christ which we will all live forever, I excitedly awaits His coming for to all we know, in the final judgment, he does'nt judged how good we are to be able to live in Heaven(forever) but just as we believe in His Son Christ Jesus, Papa believes we are worthy (even when we say otherwise) to be with Him in Heaven.

I just felt so thankful, so I thank you, I felt so blissful, so I praise God! "hallelujah! Oh Papa, I am yours!" the sound resounded in the whole cabin as I shouted with fulfillness.

The next morning, my mother and father cried out so much when they heard from the news that the cabin from their country side collapsed because of a fatal landslide. And worse, their son had'nt come back from last night on the cabin. The police reports they found a dead man's body and his clothes full of blood. Plus his books and a notebook most likely his journal book was retrieved a few hours after the disaster. Such, the lives of my father and mother was devastated, their hearts were shattered into thousand pieces. As they went on in their life they were still in their faces covered in tears from time to time of emotional break down. 

But If I just could, I want to tell them I'm here happy, that I was with Papa, on a place where no one will bore.

After five years the disaster, my mother decided to go to the house's empty room, my room. Then together with her husband they found a piece of notebook that seemed to be my journal notebook, she flipped it in one go and arrived at page x. It simply reads: 

     You called me, now I am yours, You told me to come, and I will, Papa  

It melt through their hearts, they knew that wherever I may be, I am in peace, for I am with Papa

My mother sent her heart to Papa saying, " He is yours, Papa," with a gentle smile she now rest herself to my father holding her.

Their once, hurt-tears-filled chapter of their life was now over, a new season has come.

It is written, "behold, for I(God) is making things new!"

***

- God comes in a different shapes and sizes, colors or substance, when you listen to a woman, He might come to you as a mother, when you need to be uplifted, He may come to you in a lyrics of a song or a signboard.  For He's Love itself. God is Love. Be blessed! -

It is now that I learnt that to be a child of Him is His grace by Our Papa's Perfect Love

***

- Truly, what we see now is like a dim image in a mirror, but we shall see face-to-face. My knowledge is but partial, but it will be complete, as complete as how God know me. -

Scriptures Ref. ( 1 Corinthians 13,  Philippians 3: 12-21, John 3:16)

Other Ref. (songs: peace be still, it is the Lord, add: faithful by Sarah Reeves) (movie: the shack) (magazine: simple grace)

Poems: written by me, composed of Love, and if it is inspired, then it is inspired by God, no other.

Special thanks: above all, to Papa, Our God almighty. To my family and friends, you, readers! brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus and to every people who lived on Earth and who will, as a fellow, i give thanks and God bless us all!

My last message: if you would be willing, then please be, let it be --- Acts 2:38 and Matthew 28:18-19 . Hallelujah~