First Mage Diggory sat in his makeshift laboratory mixing the last few ingredients of his latest potion when Claude opened the door unexpectedly and called out, "Mage Diggory, Guy asked me to come to find you he says there..."
"Quiet, I just about to finish, there might be a strong reaction!" Diggory's hand shook as he pinched a small amount of an herb and dropped it into the bubbling solution. A huge flash exploded out from the cauldron and then the room filled with a smell like leather and tobacco.
Claude wrinkled up his nose and said, "What's that?"
Diggory raised a finger on one hand and then poured some into a potion bottle and giggled like a school girl, "I've done it, my boy, I've perfected a handsome potion!"
Claude made a face and said, "That name is kind of.."
"You have a better name for it?" Diggory turned to him and asked.
Claude rubbed his nose and then said, "How about, hero potion?"
Diggory nodded and then said, "Here, take it. Let me see how well it works."
Claude took the bottle and then frowned, "What if it does something strange?"
"Well, obviously that's why I wouldn't try it myself, first," Diggory replied.
Claude shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yeah, that makes sense. Alright, here goes nothing." He took the bottle and upended it. After he finished the bottle he hoarsely choked out, "Smooth." Claude looked at Diggory and then asked, "What is it supposed to do?"
Diggory shrugged and said, "I don't know, let's find out!"
Claude looked terrified, "Are you serious? I just drank that."
Diggory chuckled and said, "At worst you'll grow breasts and get a little stronger, what is there to lose?"
Claude sighed and said, "Oh I thought it would be, wait did you just say breasts?"
Guy called everyone to the meeting room to discuss a breakthrough with the static gate system that he had come up with using Doreen's idea. but when Claude walked in he asked, "Claude? Are you ok? You look like your a little pale."
"I'll be fine, Diggory said I might be growing breasts is all." Claude waved his hand like it didn't matter.
Guy nodded and then continued with his lecture on the new gate system when all of a sudden he stopped in mid-sentence and asked, "Wait, did you say you might be growing breasts?"
Everyone in the group turned and looked at Claude who was already showing the effects of the potion. Looking at him was just as dazzling as looking at the four women who had taken Diggory's beauty potion. Claude waved his hand and said, "It's nothing to worry about, let's continue."
Olivier had his normal goofy smile when he asked, "First Mage, you have perfected the male version of the beauty potion then?"
First Mage Diggory nodded and said, "Indeed I have, I brought one for each of you to try."
Guy coughed and said, "Great, I'll give this a try tomorrow."
Olivier nodded and said, "Yes, I'll also have time tomorrow."
Claude glared at them and growled low, "Cowards!" He then caught Doreen staring at him out of the corner of his eye and smiled at her and asked, "So, Doreen, any progress on your unusual status?"
Doreen replied quickly, "Sorry, I am just trying to picture you with breasts. For some reason that sounds kind of exciting."
Alicia pouted and said, "I don't want my Claude to have breasts, I have plenty for both of us." Alicia jutted out her chest to prove her point.
Ella frowned and then blurted out, "I don't understand how the lot a ye thinks some times. Ye go from decidin' the fate and lives of thousands of people in one minute, and the next ye be actin' like a pack of virgins seein' their first love in the buff. Grow up." Everyone sat back down and looked down at the table aside from Doreen and Olivier. Ella noticed the faces of Diggory, Alicia, Claude, Madeline, and Guy and then shook her head, "Wait, yer tellin' me the lot of you really are? Oh, fer goodness sake. Yer adults, go get it out of yer system, most of ye are already set to be married. Just do it already." Then she looked right at Diggory and said, "And ye, yer old enough to be their gran' da, just go to town and pay fer it."
Olivier coughed and asked, "So, about that gate system?"
The next day when Claude saw Diggory he smiled and described the changes to his body, "I feel like a new man, I slimmed down around the waist, my shoulders are more defined and my skin is flawless now. Even old scars are gone. I look like I did when I was putting in maximum effort with my sword training. The status board showed I had increased my strength and dexterity by three points each."
Diggory poked him in the chest and said, "Good, good. What about, you know, did it change?"
Claude smiled and nodded, "Bigger."
Diggory quickly pulled out a bottle and drank it down. He hoarsely choked out, "Wouch. That's smooth."
Claude laughed and then said, "Sorry, I meant it shrunk up into nothing."
Diggory looked like he had just consumed a bottle of poison, he hoarsely croaked out, "Great jumping dragon goat!"
Claude laughed hysterically and then said, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He slapped Diggory on the back and walked away still laughing.
The next meeting, the men were all glowing and walked around with overly strong self-confidence. The biggest change happened with First Mage Diggory who looked like an entirely different person. Gone was his normal slouch, his eyebrows looked tidy and he seemed to have lost ten years or more off of his age. The already handsome Guy and Olivier looked freakishly handsome now and Claude who was already suave and debonair now had a classic ruggedly handsome face to complete the total package.
The women including Ella just stared at them like they were fresh meat at the butcher shop. Guy coughed and asked, "Ladies, did you hear what I just asked?"
Doreen replied, "You said something about a vote I think?"
Guy nodded and asked again, "We're voting on how we want to compensate victims of the Tower bombing."
Madeline spoke up, "Shouldn't the Royalty of Pays Des Abrutis compensate them?"
Olivier answered, "Madeline, that's why we were voting, some of the victims were not citizens of Pays Des Abrutis, I suggested that we compensate them ourselves, I know it will be a large expense for us, but they were innocents caught in the crossfire of our war." The women all voted in favor of the compensation after being shamed into paying attention.