Rexcelsis marched out into the ring. His first step shattered the ring. Ropes snapped to the floor.
Then the sound of ba ba black sheep. But instead of a black sheep, a black bear came out. In an ice cream truck with a broken windshield. Berand walked out, went face to face with Rexcelsis.
Richard Biggs: We understand that there will be a verbal battle between JAC, or Jesus, and MEW3 tonight.
Richard Littles: Yes, those criminals, the SOS, burned down the palace. Therefore, JAC is going to offer all of them a match. One they cannot refuse.
Richard Biggs: What if they refuse it?
Richard Littles: I dunno, he bitches about it I guess. Here's our penultimate matches.
Rexcelsis roared at Berand as the bell rang. He ran at Berand, but Berand went into blind rage. The barbearian rage filled his muscles. Rexcelsis ran, and Berand pushed the dinosaur.
At first, nothing happened. Then... nothing happened.
Berand felt sweat trickling down. Then, one last push, and Rexcelsis fell onto his bottom. Berand raised his arms up in a cheer. Rexcelsis bit down on Berand, swung him around, and threw him.
Berand landed in the moat outside the ring. Bell rang.
Richard Littles: Damn.
Richard Biggs: What is it?
Richard Littles: I got stocks in a funeral company because I thought Berand would die. Anyway, we're moving on to our next match.
Devilish kitsune came to the ring with Leroy. Well, remaining part of the ring. In front of them, a deck of cards.
Leroy said, "I'll go first." He picked up a card.
Richard Littles: Welcome to our third ever game of Elements. This is our second intelligence based game in this tournament.
Richard Biggs: Our big match will be a triathlon to determine who will hold the Artesian Belt.
Leroy said, "I'm going to play Wind." A gust of wind rushed around him, and he smirked.
"Fire," Inari said.
"Wait, what?" Leroy shot up and yelled as flames roasted his behind. He tried patting them out. Best he could. Leroy lost a heart.
"Water, water, water!" Leroy placed it down, and drowned the flames. Inari lost a heart from the water.
Inari drew a card. An extra Fire? She played Earth first, to make a pillar to rise up to get out of the water.
Leroy said, "I fuse Water and Wind with my Fire for a thundercloud!" All three elements came together, and coalesced. A lightning bolt struck Inari dead on to one heart.
Richard Biggs: If Leroy just plays an Earth, he has this match won.
Inari said, "You left yourself open, Mister Leroy. I play wind." A gale of wind came, and blew the Thundercloud away.
Leroy said, "I still just have to play Earth." But he choked. The Wind fused with the Earth into dust, and Leroy couldn't grab his breath. One heart now. "Strike!" But the Wind blew the Thundercloud over him...
The zap took Leroy's last heart.
Richard Biggs: Leroy, quite the luck-based lad, but lost this round.
Richard Littles: Shame.
Richard Biggs: Two quick matches from fierce fighters. Now we know who will be going on. But now it's time for our main event.
Tiercel opened the gate in the Grimwoods, facing two new partners. At first, he felt confused. He looked back at Slash. Slash gave him a grin.
"I don't get it?" He stared at his partners.
His partners, the two puppets, laughed.
Jesus came out to the ring with Swillow. MEW3 stood at a podium, and Jesus at the other. Richard Biggs came out for moderation.
Richard Biggs: You have an announcement, Jesus?
"MEW3, you have asked for, no you demand a war. That's why I'm coming. With a five man crew. You better clear your schedule. For chapter 14.
"You better believe I am not backing down to some high school dropout. Or to some half-baked, no good, punk goffik wannabe who spends more time porking with his hands than working with his hands.
"My team is going to beat the crap out of the SOS and then you go straight to hell with ONE."
MEW3 laughed him off. "Jesus, Jesus, if I was afraid of you I wouldn't stand here right now, alright then? Jesus, you have forgotten something. I stand for an idea, I stand for a concept, I am change." He paced with a mic in hands. "And I'm going to change this world. For the better." He emphasized the better. "Better."
He went to the audience. "First, I'm going to beat you up. That means this audience will never have to look at your stupid neanderthal face again, alright? BTW, you should shave. One more hair and you'll go backwards in evolution."
MEW3 sauntered into the podium. "How about you go off now?" Tssked, and waved with back of hand. "Off you go. You're dismissed... Piss off."
Jesus laughed and grabbed the mic. "Know that you took Mosor's truck. To pay, you'll have to work at the ice cream shop. You'll start as a janitor, mopping shit. Then, when you're working behind the counter, here's an order. Two scoops chocolate, one scoop mint, all the toppings." Jesus leaned in. "And I don't tip."
"Because you're broke as hell?" MEW3 asked. "That's why you stick with Swillow. Cash." He rubbed his thumb and finger. "Because you can't afford nice things, so you end up being Swillow's bitch." MEW3 slicked his hair back. Richard Biggs tried to take charge.
Other members of the game began to chant.
"Swillow's bitch! Swillow's bitch! Swillow's bitch!"
"Sure," Jesus said, "and you were ONE's bitch, but he's gone. Now you pretend you're a leader, but you're just Berand's bitch."
"Berand's bitch! Berand's bitch! Berand's bitch!"
"I am the leader-"
Jesus said, "Of the most beaten factions in Beast Games!"
MEW3 ran forward and punched Jesus. Jesus grinned at him but didn't fall back. MEW3 kept up the punches as Richard Biggs got in the midst. Jesus pushed him back, grabbed MEW3, and threw him to the ground. Then, grabbed him the underwear. And threw him over the stage, onto a table. It crashed apart.
"Next week we'll meet again."
Characters:
Inari from Ascend by Syruscoy
Leroy and Rexcelsis from Gamer's Guide to Becoming a Dinosaur.
Tiercel belongs to Felix Helixihare
Berand is from Experimental Dungeon Novel by Kgy121
Next Week:
Inari versus Rexcelsis
Berand and Mosor face off for the Ice Cream truck.
Citrus Snow and Leroy face off in a ladder match for an advantage.
