I died. There were no other words for it. I felt myself die in a fiery blaze. There was no turning back from being at ground zero of an engine explosion. So, imagine my surprise when I began to feel pain once again. It started at the tip of my toe, but it slowly began to move. Soon, all of my toes ached. Then it was my foot. The pain grew more and more. It eventually filled my entire body. I wanted to cry out in agony, but I had the distinct feeling that I couldn’t move in the slightest. I lay there in pain for what felt like ages.

My brain was mush. Each thought took ages to form, so I didn’t know how long I was lying there in that pain. Eventually, the sound started to break through. I heard a woman’s voice. I heard weeping. I heard arguing. My mind started to work a little better. Was I dead? This was a world that could bring someone back from the brink, so even if I was dead, if the right mage reached me, they could heal me. As a man, many would spend any expense to save my body. Was it that kind of situation?

In that case, where would I wake up? Would I still be in Angela’s unfortunate care? Would I be in a hospital? Perhaps I made it to whoever tried to kidnap me. I could be anywhere. Yet, those voices, no matter how much I tried to listen, never formed a semblance of words. I couldn’t understand anything. More time passed, and only then did the pain start to subside. I felt something else, the comfort of a bed. I was vaguely aware I was lying down.

Soon, my head started to throb, and my mind started to work more normally. Shadowy dreams and nightmares filled my vision. Indistinct voices teased my ears. Ever so slowly, the pain went away. Finally, I tried to force my eyes open. It felt like I was trying to push through a magical barrier. Something was holding me back, trying to keep me from moving forward and becoming conscious. However, I could feel things and hear things, and I wanted to be awake and interact with the world once again. I pushed, and I pushed… time passed on, and only then did my eyes flutter open for the first time.

The brightness was infinitely too bright. My eyes closed again. It took me a dozen tries before I could keep them open long enough to focus on anything. I had expected to be waking up in a room like a hospital. Instead, this room was massive, with an assortment of earth colors and exotic designs that weren’t familiar to me. It didn’t feel like Amaryllis at all. Then again, I wouldn’t be in Amaryllis. I had been flying internationally in an airship. Now, I was stranded somewhere between Amaryllis and Diremire.

“Agh…” I tried to sit up and ended up moaning instead as aches and pains spread through my body.

A noise caused my eyes to land on a woman. She had dark brown skin and short, black hair. However, the thing that caught my eyes the most was that she was wearing something almost transparent. Her two-piece garment was made out of a thin material that allowed her nipples and under regions to show right through. There was absolutely nothing left to the imagination. My eyes lingered on her as she dropped her feather duster and gasped.

“You’re awake!?” The girl’s voice squeaked in disbelief.

I furrowed my forehead and nodded. “It would appear that I am.”

Her expression turned to horror. Her hands covered her mouth, her eyes widened as far as they could go, and she took several steps back. I would have sworn I was a hideous monster by the expression she showed me. Finally, she seemed to recover, but her entire body shook as she lowered her head to the point where she was almost bowing.

“M-m-m-my… lord… I’ll go fetch your mother immediately!”

I could only frown as I watched her flee the room. I had gotten used to many expressions over the last few years, but this was the first time I had ever seen anything like this. I really didn’t know what to make of it. Had the damage done to my face really been that bad? Was I now an elephant man? Maybe, if that was true, I’d no longer be the interest of all of those women.

However, my body was stiff and couldn’t react, so I remained waiting patiently to see what would come next, slowly working a finger at a time as I regained my movements. At the very least, I didn’t feel like my life was being threatened at the moment.

That said, I was very eager to find out if Charlie made it out okay. And Brooke… no… it was too hard to ask about Brooke. I didn’t know if I could handle finding out the truth. Brooke had been by my side for years, and just like that, it was all up in smoke? I couldn’t believe it. As long as I didn’t ask that question, I didn’t have to face that reality.

The door finally opened and a beautiful woman walked in. She wasn’t wearing a dress like many of the women in Amaryllis. She wore a choli top and a long skirt which exposed her midriff. She looked very elegant and beautiful, with light brown skin. Her breasts were moderate sized, and while the skirt hid most of her butt, I could tell it was probably also nice. Her eyes were dark and her eyelashes were long. Her lips were a deep red. She gave off an extremely exotic charm. In my old world, she would have passed for an island beauty.

“My son.” She said without hesitation, falling to my side and kissing me on the lips.

My eyes widened as this incredible beauty kissed me without hesitations. Even in Amaryllis, I had never met a strange woman who moved this quickly. As for this woman, her lips were soft and she gave off a scent of flower and spices. She pulled away after kissing me for a moment and then smiled.

“I’m glad to see you are awake.”

I blinked a few times, still trying to get my mind straightened out. “How long was I unconscious.”

The woman gave me a sad smile. “You were in a coma for two months, my sweet child.”

“Two months!” I tried to sit up but instantly felt dizzy.

She put her hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me back down with a worried expression. “I’m sorry, my baby. Please do not grow upset. Mother is here. She’ll get you anything you need.”

“Charlie… the little girl. Is she alright?” I demanded, trying to focus on what mattered most.

The woman who called herself mother’s expression froze for a moment, and then she shook her head. “I do not know anyone by that name. Was she… one of your playthings?”

I lifted my hand to my head and shook it slightly. “That… the airship crash. Survivors… what happened to Angela? She was the head pirate?”

Her expression grew slightly confused. “My sweet boy, I’m sorry, Is this a game you’re pulling on your mother?”

“You’re not…” I frowned, looking around at her strangely affectionate expression. “Wh-where am I? What happened to me?”

The woman gently stroked my hair in a familiar fashion. “My sweet child, a few months ago, you were poisoned. We thought you would die for certain. A mage came just in time, but not before you slipped into a coma. You’ve been that way ever since. I didn’t know if you would ever wake until today. However, the Goddess was willing, and here you are.”

“Where is here?” I asked, still trying to understand what she was talking about.

“Home.” The woman spoke as if this should be obvious. “You’re in the castle.”

“The… castle?” I couldn’t quite understand it.

I understood her words, but I didn’t know about any castle. I didn’t know this woman either. She had been introduced as my mother, but I was very clear who my mother was. Morgan Bonholdt was a beautiful woman with a curvaceous body and bit of a reckless side. I loved her dearly, as I loved my sisters. This woman in front of me was a stranger. The woman herself seemed to catch on to my questioning gaze, but she didn’t seem put off.

“Our doctor had declared you dead. Had the mage not come along, I’m afraid you would have been. You need not worry. That woman was put away, as was the one who poisoned you. The mage said that your mind would be… distorted… and you may struggle to remember some things.”

“I… remember nothing…” I decided to speak honestly so I could get some real answers. “Where am I?”

The woman’s expression grew a bit relaxed and she smiled once again. “My son, we are in the country of Matahari. I am Queen Talitha Sakina, ruler of affairs. You are my son, Prince Caleb Sakina. Do you remember more now?”

I shook my head, doubting her words instantly. I was Clyburn Bonholdt, and I lived in Amaryllis. I wasn’t some kind of prince. What was that, anyway? This woman was seeking to deceive me. I didn’t understand why she would do that, but it was clear that I was being tricked.

Of course, there was one other option. Could I seriously have reincarnated again? My death as Clyburn felt so distinct. What if I didn’t survive the explosion? What would happen next? The last time I died, I awoke in the body of Clyburn during a stressful event. I remembered my confusion then, but they were facilitated by the memories of the young twelve-year-old boy. This time, I had no memories of being a prince in the slightest.

Then again, she said the poison had damaged the Prince’s mind. Perhaps, by the time I entered this body, there was nothing left of his mind to inherit? I didn’t really know what happened after death. I had reincarnated once, was it so unreasonable to believe that I reincarnated once again? No, I still didn’t want to believe it. In a world where women sought my seed constantly, they would do anything to turn me into a cum dispenser. This had to be an elaborate ruse to get at my seed.

I had trouble getting it up for Angela. Perhaps I was labeled as someone who was penis shy around threatening women. It would then make sense that they would set up some lie like this. Perhaps, they wanted me to give up my seed with tricks. Convincing me I had power as a prince was just a way to manipulate me into accepting my life as a cum dispenser. I shook my head in frustration and pulled away from the strange woman.

Talitha’s expression grew more concerned. “My baby? Is everything alright?”

“A mirror…” I demanded. “Where’s a mirror?”

Talitha looked like she didn’t understand the question, but a moment later she reached into a nightstand and pulled out a small pocket mirror. She handed it to me and I popped it open, looking at the image of the person staring back. It wasn’t Clyburn at all. Immediately, my heart began to sink.

“No, that’s not possible.” I shook my head in disbelief.

My skin was about the same color as this woman’s. In fact, if it came between her and Morgan, I looked much more like this woman who called herself my mother. I looked a little older that Clyburn, perhaps around 17 or 18, with dark black hair and dark brown eyes. My face was delicate and a bit fair, like someone who had lived a posh life. In reality, I as Clyburn shared many similarities with this face, yet it was undoubtedly different as well.

“Are you starting to remember?” The woman who called herself my Mother asked anxiously.

Collapsing back in the bed, I didn’t know what to say. It was true. I really had reincarnated. My face and location had changed into this other person. I could keep doubting things, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Did that mean I was in a different world? In my first life, there was no one I cared about when I died. I didn’t miss anything from my previous life, and I didn’t care that I had to live a new one. In fact, I embraced this life, even though it was often times difficult and messed up.

However, my life as Clyburn had people. I had children, lovers, family… all of them cared about me and I cared about them as well. Was it over? Would I never see them all again? Was I even in the same world? For all I understood, I could have reincarnated in a completely different world, or reincarnated in a different time. Everyone I knew could be dead. As I let those thoughts sink in, my body began to shake.

The woman holding me seemed to sense this and instinctively let go of her grip. “My baby, you have faced much stress today. Perhaps we should take our time. Your memories will come back eventually. In the meantime, how about you just play with your toys.”

“Ah… yes… thank you…” I stopped short of calling her mother; those were words I couldn’t level at this woman.

I needed time to think. However, this woman was babying me quite a bit. I hadn’t felt this coddled since I was in my mother’s embrace when I was twelve. Even then, there was nothing like this. I was sixteen now, wasn’t I a bit old for toys? I could only smile wryly as this woman walked up to someone who was waiting at the door and whispered a few things. After finishing, she turned back to me and gave a respectful nod.

“Your toy will arrive shortly. Please have fun. I’ll make sure the maid brings the appropriate tools.”

“Tools?” I muttered to myself, but the woman had already turned around and left as if she didn’t want to remain in my room a moment longer.

I could only stare with a furrowed expression as I contemplated the strange world around me. There was a lot on my mind and I wasn’t sure how to process all of it. Either way, I was still very weak. I didn’t know what kind of games I could play. At the moment, I could barely move. As I considered what was happening, a woman came in wearing the skimpy outfit from before. I had already determined this outfit as being something like a maid’s uniform. In all of my reading, I wasn’t familiar with this country nor any of these customs being presented to me. Was this truly another world?

The maid kept her head low and seemed to be afraid to meet my eyes. She put a tray table in front of me which was covered with a cloth. I may have only been a prince for a few minutes, but I had lived with maids, so I instantly recognized the food tray. The woman who claimed to be my mother must have sent food for me as well. I supposed I was a little hungry. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had eaten. I pulled off the cover and instantly frowned.

The tray wasn’t filled with food, but various items. These would be the tools that she had mentioned earlier. Those tools looked like the tools of a surgeon. I frowned at the selection put before me. Knives. An item that might have been phallic if it wasn’t covered in spikey things. There were chains, handcuffs, ropes, a gag… the entire selection being placed in front of me like this suddenly made me feel a bit queasy.

“What in the world is this?” I asked myself, picking up one of the knives and staring at it.

The door clicked closed, causing me to look up. What I saw was a young woman who couldn’t have been more than fifteen. She wore something similar to the woman who called herself my mother, although it wasn’t quite as fancy. She was actually pretty attractive, except that her head was shaved clean. She was also shaking, and I noticed fear in her eyes, not unlike the fear I had seen in the maids.

“Y-your gift… has arrived.” She said.

Her voice didn’t hold any warmth or joy. Rather, she sounded like she was pronouncing a death sentence. A tear fell down her cheek, and when her eyes landed on the knife in my hand, she flinched.

“Eh?” My eyes widened. “My gift?”

“P-please do… with… my body, whatever you want.” As she spoke, it sounded like she was forcing the words out, and there was a subtle feeling of panic.

Once again, her eyes flashed to the knife in my hand. I immediately put it down on the table and sat up. Women… were my toys? That was certainly different from my previous world. Except, in that world, women would have eagerly sought my seed. This woman seemed to the exact opposite. She was hesitant and afraid.

My eyes jumped from the tray of tools to her and back again, and this caused her knees to visibly shake. My face twisted in perpetual confusion. What was going on here? What did this woman who called me son expect me to do? What did this woman who called herself a toy expect? Even if I was going to rape her and be rough, I couldn’t imagine this kind of violent reaction.

“You… come closer.” I spoke up, trying to make my voice softer.

The girl nodded in jerky movements, slowly moving closer to me. Each step was careful and deliberate, but held a bit of resolve, like she was accepting something she didn’t want. It wasn’t like I was in the mood to sleep with someone anyway, but the strange way this girl acted left me really stunned.

“My… prince…” She lowered her head once coming up to the side of the bed.

“Have I…” I closed my mouth.

I wanted to ask her if I had hurt her before, but that would be a question that would be suspicious and strange, right? I didn’t know how to react. She was like a frightened animal, and I was still coming to grips with what was going on in this world. I really didn’t understand anything yet. I just wanted to ask questions and fill in the blanks, but I was quickly realizing that this was not the girl to do it with. Every time I opened my mouth, I swore she was about to collapse in tears.

“Please… order me… my prince…” She said, more tears falling down her face. “I will not disappoint.”

I smiled helplessly. “Did you know about the poisoning?”

The girl stiffened. “There isn’t a person in the castle who doesn’t know.”

I nodded. “Well, I only just woke up.”

“I know this as well.” She responded. “I’ve been in your harem for months. Now that you have woken, I was ordered to entertain you by her majesty. She wants you to get back to your old ways, so that you may recover your mind more quickly.”

I gave a wry smile. “I’m still very weak. And my mind doesn’t remember anything. If I’ve done anything, I do not remember it. I’m sorry.”

The girl’s expression turned to one of disbelief. “You… you don’t remember?”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Yes. I don’t want to… play… right now. I don’t remember what I’ve done, but if I’ve ever hurt you, that isn’t my intention now, okay? Even if I wanted to, I barely have any strength.”

To display that point I lifted my hand, which shook a bit before I let it fall back down.

“You’re weak?” Her expression seemed to be starting to improve.

I gave her my best smile. “Things will be different, okay?”

The girl looked at me with wide eyes and her mouth partially open, as if she was completely floored by my words. She reached out and touched my face, as if not believing I was the same person she knew before. Just what kind of man had I reincarnated in? What kind of person was I to bring women to such fear? It made my heart hurt just thinking about it. The pain and shock over losing my identity were still very rich, but a small part of me wondered if this wasn’t for the best. This way, I could make amends for whatever this monster had done.

The girl reached back and adjusted my pillow, pulling one out from behind my head. I nodded reassuringly.

“Since things will be different,” I said. “Then, if there is anything I can do to help, let me know, okay?”

She lowered her head, her expression difficult to read. “Actually, there is one thing I would like you to do, my prince.”

“What is it?” I asked, forcing a smile on my face.

“Please… just die.”

“Huh?”

She shoved the pillow over my face. I let out a noise of surprise that was instantly muffled under the pillow. Her body mounted me in an instant, and she forced her hand down on my face as hard as she could, smothering me with this feather pillow.

“Mmm… Mmm!” I let out noises, but none of them could get past her.

I did try to struggle, but I hadn’t been lying about my weakness. At the moment, I was pretty much a kitten and she could do whatever she wanted to me. I tried slapping and scratching her arms. Had what I done really been that bad? Why did I have to die again for someone else’s sins? Why was I dying again already? Would it mean just another reincarnation? How many of these would I have to endure? My head felt like it was burning, and I couldn’t get any more breath. My hits started growing weaker and weaker.

“Die… please… die…” She was wailing as she smothered me with the pillow.

The image of Charlie popped into my head. My kids. My women. I couldn’t leave this world until I knew if they were on it. I didn’t know if this was my last chance or my hundredth, but I needed to keep going. I couldn’t stop here.

My hands fell out as I felt around desperately. My palm landed on the tray sitting next to my bed. Grabbing on to a knife, I used the last of my strength and then jammed it into her leg. The girl let out a scream as I cut into her. Turning with all I had left, I just managed to get her to fall to the side. She fell off the bed and the pillow fell with her. I let in a breath desperately, my face completely red.

“Guards!” I screamed hoarsely the best I could.

“No!” She screamed back, leaping back onto me. “You must die! Die!”

Her aim this time was the knife I had stabbed into her outer thigh. I still had it clutched in my bloody hands. She tried to grab and take it from me. I was far too weak, and she quickly wrestled it away. As she raised the knife to bring it down on my chest, someone grabbed her arm and in a swift motion, she was shoved off of me and down to the floor. There were four women who looked to be guards in the room now.

“Assassin!” The woman who had grabbed her shouted and pointed at the girl on the floor. “The penalty is death!”

“Wait… no!” I tried to shout, but my throat was so raw it came as a croak.

In a single motion, the woman raised her blade and swung it. The maid’s head went with the blade. It rolled several feet away from her body as blood splattered across the room, including across my face. I stared in shock as the woman who had come to give herself to me had then tried to kill me followed by a brutal death. I couldn’t even come to terms with this world, and I was already facing assassinations and a beheading.

I stared blankly at the headless corpse on the ground as the guards casually rolled it up in the carpet and carried it away as if this was normal. They moved as if this was something they had done many times before. It was less than a minute before there was no trace of the woman who just tried to kill me beyond the blood on my face.

What was going on? Where the hell did I reincarnate? Just what the hell was this place? Who was I? Why was I hated? As the guards left the room an instant later, those questions only had the walls to answer them.