For some reason, I was feeling particularly sleepy that day. I found myself propping my chin up with one of my hands as the other one kept writing in the notebook along with my teacher’s lecture. 

Was that because I had gone to sleep too late last night? Not necessarily – I had fallen sound asleep soon after I had lain myself down on the bed around nine o’clock. If anything, I’d been sleeping too much, but it was normal for me since I never had anything more interesting left to do in the evenings. In spite of all that, I had to conceal myself yawning several times an hour, and my eyelids, bored with tedious lecture, inadvertently closed themselves as the weak muscles couldn’t hold them anymore. 

If only there was a bed standing in front of me and I could lie down on it without consequences, I wouldn’t refuse such an offer. Reality, unfortunate and cruel as always, was that I had to wait a few hours until I could finally lay down on the bed in my own room... but knowing how it had been in the past, I wasn’t going to be sleepy anymore by then. 

It’d been a few days since that accident... no, it wasn’t proper to call it an accident. It was just that I had to stay longer in school because of my own weakness, inability to get myself out of an adverse situation. Yamaguchi came talking to me a few times already, just like always – without any apology or at least gratitude for that time. For that reason, I just refused to respond him – no matter how much he tried, I had done my best to pretend he wasn’t there. It probably made me act like a girl, but what did I care. He eventually gave up completely and strolled off somewhere the instant teacher left the classroom at lunch break. Did I perhaps just lose a friend? Not that I really cared about that, I was going to lose him anyway in a little less than a year. 

The class finally came to an end, and the classroom became loud like a construction site. Chairs drawing back, doors sliding, people talking about topics I couldn’t imagine myself caring about. I didn’t stand up from my seat or even proceed to bring out my lunch. All I wanted was to lean my head on the wooden surface of the desk in front of me... not to be fastidious or anything, but I wouldn’t mind if there was just a little bit less noisy around me. 

Not that I could stand up and tell the entire class to pipe down, that would make me the loudest person in the first place. Even if I mustered my courage to do that, that would be not only inappropriate, but also the chances of them listening to me would be too weak. In other words, it wasn’t even remotely worth trying. With that said, I couldn’t get the others to adjust to me, so I had to adjust to them... or just find a place more suitable for me. 

I found myself turning my head to stare off into the distance through the window, where I could see nothing but the usual scenery. There were some people running around, but what reached my eyes was primarily our peaceful, as if dead, neighborhood. I’ve got no other choice, I thought as I got up from my chair, but then I stopped – I actually didn’t know where I could go. 

That was when I got reminded of something. I quite couldn’t believe how I could have forgotten something that relevant. 

You may come by sometime. 

A few days ago, I had helped that peculiar girl to find a relatively desolate place within the school grounds... which was quite ridiculous, as if she couldn’t have done it on her own, but thanks to that I discovered, or rather got reminded of a pretty good hideout for summer. She more or less invited me there when we were parting ways to boot. She called it her base, but I had no idea what she was going to be doing in there. 

At first, I was intending to visit it the following day, but when I only thought about meeting alone with her, I instantly retracted myself back into my seat in the classroom. It was one of those things I couldn’t understand – what was I afraid of? It wasn’t like we hadn’t been meeting almost every day lately... We usually didn’t talk much then, though, and it didn’t prove to be that much of a problem for me to just forget about her presence next to me as I walked forward. That wouldn’t be the case if we met in the forest – if I didn’t say a word, which was something I could be sure about, it would be ten times as awkward as usual. 

That being said, I had already broken the first layer of the barrier called ‘awkwardness’. It was something that allowed me to walk next to her quietly without excessively worrying about the people around us. Our situation in the forest could be compared to darkness. At first glance, there were no people around whatsoever, which should have left us with greater freedom, but when you thought about it, in case somebody actually noticed only the two of us in that desolate place, it would’ve been way more humiliating than just leaving school together. Chances of that weren’t great, but it wasn’t impossible. On the other side of the coin, there were some countermeasures against that, which I had a hunch that girl would excel at. You only had to watch and listen to your surroundings carefully, and you could notice someone’s approach before they caught a glimpse of you. Listening probably wouldn’t prove to be efficient as wind caused the grass to rustle naturally, but you could still use your eyes. In any case, I didn’t really need to worry about that, probably. 

Annoyed by the noisy classmates, I made up my mind and crouched down to bring out my lunchbox, after which I set off to leave the classroom. 

By the time I reached the shoe racks, there weren’t much people around. Those who had to go outside had already done that, and I was the lone person changing my shoes. 

I extended my hand to push the handle of the door, and when the roof above me ceased to cast a shadow over me, I was immediately dazzled by the bright rays of the sun and my entire body felt the sweltering heat like never before. Maybe I was exaggerating a little, but it was about time the sun was at its highest, so it was only reasonable for me to think like that. Using my hand, I wiped the sweat off my brow and proceeded forward. I couldn’t wait to hide myself in a shade again so much that it was slowly overcoming my anxiety. 

“...” 

That day was really hot if I do say so myself. Having made my first step on the well-trodden path next to the club building, I heaved a sigh of weariness. The forest came into my sight, and at that moment, seeing it as a paradise, I picked up my pace. 

I didn’t hesitate before entering the thicket as I wanted to hide myself from the harsh heat. I was already prepared to see that girl around that small flat area with little to no grass growing on it, but... when I finally set my eyes on it, she wasn’t there. 

It seemed that she hadn’t come... perhaps she didn’t come to school today? My in-fight took me so long that she should have long managed to come here if she was going to do so at all. 

“Who.” 

All of a sudden, I grew stiff as I heard a voice coming from behind me. That voice – both its tone and contents, were something that I already recognized. As it was only natural, I turned my head around to look in the direction it came from and what I noticed was a little bit funny. 

A figure clad in pure white uniform with a relatively large red ribbon on it was peeking with the only unconcealed eye from behind a tree. She seemed to be leaning against it, as one of her hands was gently, probably unconsciously touching it. Her eye bounced between me and who knows where, and she didn’t seem to be coming out anytime soon. She looked like a scared cat like that. 

She hadn’t possibly been waiting there the entire time, had she? She had most likely noticed someone coming, so she decided to hide herself before I noticed her. That said, she should have been able to recognize me, nonetheless she didn’t come out of hiding and asked a question she should have known the answer to already instead. My best guess was that she wanted to appear cool like a secret agent or something. 

“If it isn’t human.” 

Finally, she came out from behind the tree with her eye closed. The other one, as could be expected, was covered by an eyepatch. In the hand that remained hidden until recently, she was holding a lunchbox. 

“Hi...” I responded awkwardly. 

She took steps without hurrying, gradually reducing the distance between us. All I could hear was relatively loud although relaxing rustle of grass and leaves caused by the refreshing wind passing through. There occasionally were also some distant voices mixed with it. We were protected from the intense heat coming directly from the brightly shining sun by a layer of dense leaves growing from the trees surrounding us. I had an urge to take a nap right at this moment, but there were two things preventing me from doing so: that girl’s presence, and the anxiety that I wouldn’t wake up on time. 

She was gradually losing pace before she stopped altogether in front of me, in a distance that would allow our hands to reach each other just barely if we extended them completely. 

A gentle breeze passed through, making her long, blonde hair flutter ever so slightly to her right. Her gaze was fixed at a place that was somewhere next to my face, which made her appear hesitant. 

“What...” 

Since I hadn’t made a single voice, she finally made her mind to speak up. Her voice was low and somewhat dejected, and its tone, as opposed to its contents, didn’t suggest that she was making a question. That’s right – it was me who came there first, so I was probably supposed to tell her the reason for that... not that it should be required in the first place, but it seemed like that girl thought of that place as her own. She called it her base, after all. Come to think of it, I kind of discovered that place together with her, and when we were parting that day, she made me clear that it was alright for me to come over there. 

Her question seemed to be coming from her uneasiness and it was mostly my fault for dumbly standing there motionless without saying a word. If that wasn’t enough, I inadvertently found myself staring at her figure. Our eyes didn’t meet though, as similarly to her, I wasn’t looking at her face, but right below or next to it. 

“Nothing.” 

After I finally gathered my courage to respond, I proceeded to sit down on the ground. It was quite cold, which made me want to lay down on it even more. The girl shortly did the same, choosing a place next to me. Even though there was a fair distance between us – I wouldn’t be able to touch her even if I outstretched my hand – it was more embarrassing than I thought it would be. Perhaps the situation would have been better if she sat across from me... but in case another person appeared, they were sure to get the wrong idea. 

We didn’t look at each other, instead gazing at the entrance to the forest. We were sure to notice if someone was approaching, so it was a pretty good idea. It might have been the reason she had decided to choose a place next to me. Hadn’t it been for the fact that there was absolutely no one in vicinity, we would’ve looked like total strangers minding their own business. 

I wanted to turn my head in her direction, but the anxiety effectively prevented me from doing so. I could still catch a glimpse of her with a side glance though, and it seemed that she was slowly struggling to eat her lunch, which were rice balls, again. Really, every time I saw her eating something, it was a rice ball – was she simply that huge fan of them, or perhaps the person preparing it (which might have been her) didn’t have time or ability to make something else? 

We didn’t exchange a word with each other. I was simply too anxious to speak up, and she seemed as such as well. Plus, I didn’t have any ideas what we could talk about. I didn’t know her well enough to find a common topic, however the chances of something like that existing were poor – I had little to no hobbies, or rather things I did in free time, and yeah... She seemed to be interested in anime and such and probably wouldn’t mind talking about world domination or something as if she were an elementary schooler, but unfortunately those interests didn’t coincide with mine. 

What connected both of us was the fact that we were rather lonely and withdrawn. Talking about being alone... or rather, venting about how people around us pissed us off. Speaking of which, she had been doing it rather often, although stealthily – she was always saying that humans were deceitful and despicable. Just now I realized what she had actually been meaning by those words – she was using that highly persona only as a metaphor. I might have been reading too deep into that, but it all made sense. I’d even say that it had to be it. I was quite dense for not noticing that earlier. 

By the way, a certain situation that exceptionally exasperated me happened recently and it had to do with other people. I had to admit that it was mostly my own fault, but still, something like that shouldn’t have happened. Yamaguchi, knowing well of my weaknesses, took advantage of them and threw me into a room full of people unfamiliar to me. It seemed that he knew what was going on from the beginning and could have told me all about it instead of leaving me confused. That’s why I blamed him and was mad at him for doing it. If I had a chance to vent about that to someone, I wouldn’t decline it. 

Coincidentally, there was a person sitting next to me that might listen to me. There was no reason why she wouldn’t after all. Maybe it wouldn’t be a common topic, but still it was something we could talk about. 

Not that I automatically despised the entire society like her, it was just one person that annoyed me recently, and it wasn’t that I hated him for that, I was just a little bit mad at him. 

That being said, I still had no idea how should I properly speak up to her. Turning my head ever so slightly, I saw her politely biting at her rice ball while staring at nowhere in particular with her head down. Come to think of it, in that position she shouldn't be able to watch our surroundings. 

All of a sudden, she lifted her head and began turning it carefully in my direction. Since the eye that was closer to me was the one hidden by an eyepatch, she had no choice but to do it quite conspicuously so she could glance at my figure with her right eye. That gave me some time to catch a more detailed glimpse of her face before she noticed that I was looking at her, but there weren’t many emotions written on it. It wasn’t like a poker face though, but rather indifferent, with a slight grain of dejection. 

Since I made an effort not to retract my head, the outcome of the situation was our eyes meeting. As I expected, at that moment she instantly looked away in embarrassment. Once again, I felt the awkward silence in my bones and the task of opening my mouth became three times harder. As much as I’d love to break it, there was a barrier that prevented me from doing so I had to break through first. 

Inside my mind, I thought about opening my mouth, but no words came out. What should I say? No matter what I thought of, it felt out of place. I was worried that it would turn out awkward and she wouldn’t respond at all. An interesting thing was that I wasn’t afraid of her laughing at me since I simply couldn’t imagine her doing so – it seemed that I knew her enough to be sure of it. Her usual laughter was peculiar and rather hilarious than intimidating. Perhaps also somewhat adorable. Fufu, kakaka, kuku. 

While there maybe were some low chances of her speaking first, I didn’t count on it. I’d say that I even hoped that it wouldn’t happen, because I’d feel guilty of pressuring her. That’s why it had to be me to do it soon. 

There was nobody around, only the two of us. Nobody but her would hear everything I’d say, and nobody but her would intimidate me if something went wrong. Maybe it wasn’t like we were on a desert island, but this place definitely was deserted enough. What was I afraid of then? It wasn’t like she was a complete stranger to me. 

She behaved in a way most people would find embarrassing, yet she had no difficulty doing that before me. The first time we met, it was our first time ever seeing each other, she asked me if I wanted to become her servant. Like, nobody does that, even if we replaced servant with, for example, friend. That was truly a bold move of her. She might have run away in embarrassment after that, but then again, I couldn’t be surprised. 

What I was about to do wasn’t even remotely embarrassing. I was just going to talk to her... more precisely, tell her a recent story, so technically her response wasn’t even necessary; solely her presence was enough. We didn’t even need to look at each other; actually, we had never been doing that when talking. All I had to do was open my mouth and say what I wanted, in a voice loud enough for her to be able to hear it. If she hadn’t wanted to listen to me, she would have either left this place already or told me to leave, wouldn’t she? 

I didn’t really have anything to lose. If anything, I would lose if I remained silent until the end. The regret would be left lingering in my mind, not leaving me alone for the rest of the day, if not a few days. 

Perhaps it was because we were completely alone that I found it difficult to speak up? Now that I think of it, the presence of other people, even if totally unconcerned, might have been helping me a little. It pretty much contradicted all my previous thoughts, but then again, it wasn’t like I understood it myself. My mind also didn’t seem to be working logically, so both of those might have been true. In general, I felt the most comfortable in solitude, but I didn’t have an unyielding need for it. 

The girl was sitting next to me. What she was thinking about at this moment was an intriguing mystery and obviously I’d never learn the answer to that question. Was she waiting for me to say something? Perhaps. 

Carefully, I lowered my head, closed my eyes and gulped. That was when I remembered that I actually hadn’t touched my lunch since I came here. Not that it was an issue in itself, but it showed how much my anxiety affected me. I also realized that I forgot about my tiredness, which meant that my predictions became true earlier than I thought they would. 

Having my eyes closed, I realized an advantage of it. That way, I felt like I were completely alone. She didn’t make a single sound, or rather the sounds she was making were effectively covered by the rustle of grass. Without the sun directly shining upon me, the gentle breeze that appeared every now and then calmed me down. That place was very pleasant, so it would be nice if I was able to come there daily without struggling with anxiety or anything. 

If I remained silent like that, the bell would chime sooner or later and we would head back to our classrooms. I would be disappointed by my inability to do what I want to, and the following day, I wouldn’t be able to come there so I would stay in the classroom with my annoying and noisy classmates.