In the end, I reached a conclusion that it would be better if I talked to her. Talk, but how? What was supposed to be my first sentence? I couldn’t say just hello, because I’d already said that before. I could just call her name, Lumiya, with an honorific because I didn’t know her well enough yet to drop it. After I called her name, suppose that she responded with something to the effect of “What”. She might only let out a murmur, or maybe laugh peculiarly since she liked doing that even in completely irrelevant situations. Either way, it was pretty much a certainty that she would respond to that if she heard me properly. 

From that moment, I would have the freedom to say anything. I wanted to tell her about what happened a few days ago, with the art club and such. Not that I thought that she would be interested in that, I just couldn’t find any better topic. Who knows, maybe she would have something relevant to add, and even if not, I would be satisfied by the mere fact that I accomplished talking to her. I imagined myself stuttering every other word, but come to think of it, she was doing it rather often as well. It would be a pain for her to listen to it, though. 

I pretty much had prepared a plan in my mind and it seemed that there were surprisingly few factors that could go wrong. Unfortunately, time continued to flow which made me anxious about whether the bell wouldn’t interrupt me. There was a contradiction though, because the longer I kept prolonging it, the chances of something like that happening became higher. 

Only to check, I lifted my head and opened my eyes, which having been closed for about a minute, were dazzled by the bright surroundings. Once I confirmed that there was nobody but us in vicinity as earlier, I proceeded to glance with my eyes sideways to catch a sight of the girl sitting next to me, avoiding moving my head as much as possible. 

Luckily, she didn’t notice me peeking at her as she was sitting holding a rice ball in her mouth, her jaw barely moving. She seemed to be bored and uneasy, and I couldn’t be surprised by it. Maybe she was really waiting for me to speak? 

Either way, as I retracted my head and looked down once more, my fingers began fidgeting slightly. It was warm in there, even hot when the breeze gave up for a moment. 

“...” 

I opened my mouth. Did she notice it? She didn’t notice it. It made a sound that probably only I could hear... actually, it was only a sound of my breathing. Speaking of which, it’d been quite irregular and heavy ever since I came here, similar to when I was about or in the middle of crying. This time though, it was pure uneasiness. 

She was sure to notice it if I talked... but was it really something to be ashamed of? Not that she wasn’t doing it herself, after all. I didn’t speak for some time now; wouldn’t the voice be hoarse at first? Forcing a cough would be a good idea, but I was afraid that it would startle her. Come to think of it, even if I talked normally, it was likely to startle her. Should I wait for her to finish eating then? No, she was so slow that I doubt she was chewing it. She was surely lost in thought and forgot about it altogether. 

But what if I was wrong and she would choke if I spoke all of a sudden? Was there a way to bring her attention back without startling her? I had to speak lightly... but loud enough for her to be able to hear me. Not a simple task, but I had no other way but to try. 

I opened my mouth again. Just like before, no words came out. They just wouldn’t, it was as if something in my throat blocked them from coming out. I inadvertently started using my mouth to breath in and out instead of my nose. I knew what I had to say – it was her name. I knew well how to pronounce it; I had done it many times before. In such a tense situation, I was afraid something would go wrong. 

Lumiya...san. Lumiya-san. Lumiya-san... 

I kept saying her name in my mind just the same way I was going to say it out loud soon. Why? I don’t know. Perhaps it was a method of assuring myself. 

“...” 

Gradually, I started making movements with my tongue just as I would pronounce her name, but without using the vocal cords so no voice came out. My fingers were fidgeting swiftly, so I might look as if I had gone insane if she glanced at me. Trying to slow them down by force, I came to a realization that I couldn’t do it after all. I couldn’t talk.  

There was a thick barrier in my mind that didn’t allow me to do so. I was sure that there wouldn't be enough time left for me to tell the entire story now, nonetheless I kept moving my tongue inaudibly. 

To end it all, I took a deep breath in with my mouth wide open, and subsequently let it out. 

“Lumiya-san.” 

Suddenly, something came out. I wasn’t even sure if I did it accidentally or on purpose, but I called her name out loud. To top it all off, the voice turned out not the way I wanted – it was cold and too quick, as if taken from the middle of a sentence. In other words, I couldn’t have screwed it up more. 

“What?” 

Nevertheless, I’d gone and done it. There was no going back now, which might’ve brought me some confidence – after all, it would’ve been more awkward if I had remained silent. That didn’t change the fact that my chest was on fire and I felt the air pressure as though I had been an old man on top of Mount Everest. 

“Um...” 

I let out some hopeless murmur just to make my situation less serious, but I felt like I was digging my own grave by doing it. Why was I still afraid even after I had taken the first step? She heard my voice clearly and responded me. She was now waiting for me. There was no one but her there, no one but her would hear my voice, no one but her would make fun of me. 

Pull yourself together! 

“Ah, you know...” 

I didn’t know how to properly make a start, so I tried using those redundant, meaningless words to somehow try to kick off a conversation. I was hoping that she would pick it up, but to no avail. Why was I expecting that, knowing how reserved she was? 

This entire time, we were looking mindlessly at the trees in front of us... I mean, I didn’t know where she was looking, but certainly not at me. Her mouth didn’t move in the slightest, leaving me the freedom to say what I wanted. What reached my ears was a faint sound of people talking in a distance, covered by the loud rustle of wind. 

“You remember... a few days ago, when I sent you a message?” 

When I finally managed to make a proper sentence, I was just a little bit satisfied. I didn’t plan to make it a question, but I changed it to such in the last moment. Why had I done so, I had no idea. Maybe just to check if she was listening and knew what I was going to talk about. Come to think of it, I wasn’t going to do a monologue, so I thought that it would be nice if I got some even faint response from her. 

“...” 

She murmured clearly affirmatively in response. Well, I had preferred to receive a more concrete reply, but at least she was listening. Whether she was going to pay attention to it... not that I would mind it if she didn’t, but that would be quite impudent of her. 

“It was because Yama... a certain acquaintance of mine, asked me to do something...” 

Yes, while I wanted to say friend at first, I’d decided to change it to acquaintance in the end. What was my reason for that? Well, primarily because I had a hunch that I would give her the wrong idea if I didn’t. Besides, not that it was completely incorrect, especially after what had happened. Also, since I was used to calling him by his name, I was about to say it accidentally, but stopped myself in the last moment... but she might’ve been able to catch it. 

Either way, I surely gave her the wrong idea... but the rest of the story was supposed to clarify everything. 

“He didn’t say anything about what was going on, just took me with him... Yeah, I was dumb because I could just refuse and ignore him, but I didn’t and followed him...” 

Facing the empty forest instead of her face, I felt like I was throwing my words into a void. Not that it was a bad thing – if anything, it helped me muster my courage just a little bit. Nevertheless, I had moments of realization every now and then that I wasn’t actually alone. It was an awkward and unpleasant feeling that made me pause for a second. 

“And so, he took me to his club. When I entered the room, a girl jumped out and started doing some creepy things with me. Like, she grabbed my shoulders while she was panting. Ah, just to be clear, I don't know her.” 

As I continued telling her my story, she didn’t make a single sound. I instinctively wanted to take a peek at her, but the anxiety prevented me from doing so. I didn’t know if she was eating or maybe using her phone instead of paying attention to me. 

“And then, that bastard didn’t say anything but just looked at me when that girl seated me on a chair. It turned out that she wanted to use me as a model for her painting or something, and so I unwillingly ended up spending two hours there without being able to move.” 

I gave in to my emotions while saying that. As such, I was finished with the story. Telling it took me less than overthinking it earlier... Honestly, I doubt it was longer than one minute. No bell stopped me mid-sentence, but I still had to wait for her response... 

“Fufu.” 

That came from my right. Was it alright to turn my head now? While looking at her face as I was talking to her made me uneasy, I just wanted to see her expression, even if for a split second. It seemed that, as if I were a spinning fan, I pressed a button inside my mind that completely stiffened my head. 

Her first words were... not exactly words, but her peculiar laughter. Was she laughing at me, for example because I was such an idiot to not talk my way out of those two hours of suffering, or maybe she was doing it unwittingly, out of a habit? 

I tried to tell her the story truthfully, and I don’t think I emphasized anything to my advantage. I only omitted the part when I was talking about her with some guy. It was impossible to tell her about that for obvious reasons. I was only worried that she might get mad at me for some reason, even though I didn’t know which part of the story was likely to cause it. 

“I see, so you have experienced an act of human treachery.” 

She spoke to me in a sagacious tone. Just as I expected from her, she exaggerated the matter a little. Could it really be called a treachery? It was definitely a contemptible prank, but was it really enough to sever ties between us? Was our bond that weak, or his joke that reprehensible? 

Well, I wasn’t sure what to think of that situation so I remained as passive as I could. That included refusing to talk to him, which probably upset him a little and made him stop hanging out with me on breaks, and hence I thought that our friendship was over. 

But could I really call him a friend? What was a friend? To find the answer to that question, or at least get a hint, I asked myself another question: What did we do together? 

Not much, really. We were merely hanging out at breaks, and only occasionally. Moreover, it all came down to me listening to his meaningless chatter about girls. I wasn’t interested in it, so usually I just pretended to listen. He only made eating my lunch a struggle and... that’s it. It had always been like that – he was the one bragging, and I rarely opened my mouth.  

What he had done for me? Sometimes he paired up with me on bus trips or on a PE lesson, but I doubt it was something noteworthy. I wouldn’t mind being alone. He had never lent me a helping hand, but that was because I rarely even needed help in the first place. He had lent me his notebook a few times when I couldn’t come to school because I was sick, but I had also done it for him several times. We were even if it came to that, weren’t we? 

I don’t want to call him irresponsible or worthless. It was just that we didn’t make a good company. He was a person completely different from me. 

I completely ignored him lately, which caused him to stop talking to me entirely. Was it a bad thing? For me, not necessarily, but I didn’t know how he felt about that. Well, he had better friends than me. They would not only listen to him, but also engage in that pointless conversation of his. It wasn’t that much of a loss for him. 

“Huh?” 

“Nothing unusual.” 

Her calm voice that came from my right reminded me of her presence. Being unable to take a glance at her, I felt like I was talking to an invisible fairy. Actually, I could do it only if I wanted, but I was afraid that we would happen to do it at the same time, resulting in our eyes meeting and the awkwardness that we finally managed to sufficiently calm down returning, leaving us unable to talk anymore. It still felt somewhat distressing, but it was my best option at the moment. 

“I see...” 

Speaking of which, was that girl sitting next to me, whose name was Lumiya, a better friend to me than Yamaguchi? While I didn’t like comparing people, I definitely felt better in her presence. I mean, it had many sides to it – while by Yamaguchi I could behave pretty much the same way as if I had been alone, by her side I felt constantly anxious. It wasn’t surprising since we hadn’t known each other much, but I had a distinct feeling that if everything went well, she would become a good person to speak my mind out to soon. I had no logical proof of that, but I felt like she actually listened and understood me. 

Lately, I’d been thinking about friendships and so too much. It was paining. Why did I even bother myself with it? 

Suddenly, I felt the sound of a bell ringing. It announced that break time was over... that it was time for me and her to head back to our classrooms. The sound was surprisingly barely audible – I might have missed it if I had drifted away. As such, I heard a rustle from my right side, and it soon turned out that it was the girl standing up. 

“Do you want to go first?” 

Her silhouette stood sturdily before me sitting on the ground. She looked exactly like last time, yet I felt like it had been ages. I recognized her long, blonde hair and an eyepatch on her left eye. Her blue, right eye just barely glaring at me gave off a contemptuous feeling. In her left hand, she was holding a lunch box – I didn’t know whether it was empty or not. 

It reminded me that I basically hadn’t touched my own lunch since I came here. It was mainly because I spent most of my time here pointlessly overthinking things. Nevertheless, I still thought that I had a more pleasant experience there than I would in the classroom. 

“Uh...” 

That being said, it seemed like it was going to be an inseparable part of my every stroll to that place – at that moment, I wanted to ask her one, short but very important question. If I didn’t ask her that, the next time would be unlikely to ever happen. 

I slowly raised my body from the cool ground that had been warmed by my body. She was still standing before me, her eye following my moves. Before long, her height stopped overwhelming me as I straightened my legs completely. I had to say that she was quite tall, such that she could be confused with a high schooler if her attire wasn’t giving her away. 

“Err... Lumiya-san. Would you mind if I came here again?” 

"Kaka, of course not. Feel free to think of this place as your own.” 

In the middle of her sentence, she turned back and started walking away. Her steps were at first slow, but then she unexpectedly stopped and said to me, without turning her head to me: 

“Be careful. So long, human.” 

“Yeah, see you again.” 

As soon as she finished saying those words, she started walking again. Once she left the forest, I proceeded to make my way back to school again. Come to think of it, that way I was almost sure to be slightly late. Usually, I would just break in a run, but I didn’t want to catch up to that girl. She most likely made us go separately to prevent us from being seen together, which was completely reasonable for me. 

Overall, I was left satisfied. While we still didn’t talk much, I managed to tell her my story, somewhat opening myself up before her. I was also happy that I wouldn’t feel anxious before coming there anymore.